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There are times when a person feels so angry that he or she feels the desire to scream. If you are facing this sort of anger right now, pause your reading and go scream into a pillow. Screaming offers you a physical release. Studies have shown that crying it out can release toxins that are built up by stress. As a word of caution, you should try to make sure that your scream is well-muffled by the sound of your pillow to avoid worrying any neighbors. If there are a lot of details about a given situation that make you upset, you can find something symbolic to represent these components of your anger before throwing those symbolic elements away. For example, You can collect stones alongside a river and throw them into the water after you have assigned a component of your anger to each one. Another way to put this would be to “walk in the other person's shoes.” Consider the reasons the offending party may have had for acting in a hurtful way. You might never completely understand another's motivations, nor may you agree with them upon identifying them, but it is easier to let go of anger towards someone after you spend a little time in her head. If possible, remind yourself that the other person didn't realize she was hurting you. If she did consciously hurt you, think about what led her to do so. Understand that forgiveness does not automatically lead to reconciliation. If you suspect that the party responsible for triggering your anger feels remorseful and wants to make amends, reconciliation might work out. On the other hand, if the other party is not open to setting things right, or if the nature of the pain is such that you can never trust the other person again, reconciliation might not seem like an option. Recognize that you alone can forgive. Completely letting go of anger means forgiving the person who has hurt you. However, forgiveness is not for everyone at all times. Forced or feigned forgiveness is of little benefit to anyone, least of all yourself. It's important to thoroughly process your hurt, control your anger, and decide if/when forgiveness is right for you. Understand that forgiving someone may not prompt the other person to change her behavior. The purpose of forgiveness, in this sense, is to cleanse yourself of the anger and resentment building inside you. Forgiveness is for your own benefit and is an internal necessity, not an external one. There can be a lot of blame during the anger stage. It's important to reflect on your own role in the situation and accept responsibility for whatever role you played. This doesn't mean that you can't acknowledge the poor treatment given to you by the other party. It simply means that if you did wrong, you should be honest about it, especially if you ever plan to reconcile. Accepting responsibility can start with eliminating negative emotions. One way to do this is to make a list of the 3 to 5 strongest negative emotions you feel, and think about how to substitute the negative emotion for a good one.
Scream. Metaphorically throw your anger away. Replace resentment with compassion. Determine if reconciliation is an option. Forgive. Take responsibility for your own actions.