Are you hoping to change their mind about something? Is there someone else you’re trying to protect? Perhaps you just want to feel more comfortable around them yourself. Before starting a conversation, make sure you know what your goals are in bringing up your concerns.  It’s possible that your goals can’t be achieved. For example, you might wish that a much older relative would stop using a word you find offensive. However, they may be so stuck in their ways that having a conversation isn’t going to yield your desired result. If your goal isn’t achievable, choose one that is. You might not be able to stop your relative from using that word, but you can at least let them know how you feel about it. Choose a time and place when you can both feel comfortable. You should be able to have privacy and not feel rushed. You may want to let them choose the time and place.  Let them know why you’d like to talk to them. You can say, “You said something the other day that I’d like to talk to you about. Are you up for that?” Let them know that you are assuming the best about them. You can say, “You said something earlier that I admit I found offensive. I’m sure you didn’t intend that, but I’d like to talk about it.” If the person is someone you know well and trust, keep that in mind. They  may feel awful knowing that they offended you. If they’re someone whom you don’t know well or don’t trust, keep that in mind, too.  Consider whether the person has any motivation to change their behavior. For example, if their job is at stake, they will likely take this conversation seriously. If they’re unlikely to ever see you again, they may simply brush off your concern. You can use your relationship to the person to help influence them. For example, you could say to a service provider, “I’d like to continue hiring you, but I feel really uncomfortable when I hear that kind of language.” Or to a relative, such as your child, you could say, “I don't feel comfortable being around others when you speak that way.” If the remark was particularly hurtful, tell the person that if it happens again, you will take action. This is generally appropriate when hateful words or slurs are used knowingly.  In a work environment, you can say, “If I hear that word again, I’m going to have to speak to our supervisor.” In a family context, you can say, “I think I will have to go home if you continue speaking like that.” Just tell them straight forward. We usually overthink things and make the worst of it. Being straight forward does not mean that you should rub it in their face. You just have to say how you feel without gracing your self ego as well as theirs. People always try to tell some indirect stories and it ends up vindicating the other person. Knowing how you feel may help the person understand. They might not understand why what they said is offensive, but knowing that you feel hurt could be enough to help them change their behavior.  Use “I” statements. This means saying, “I felt angry when you used that word to describe our coworker” instead of, “It was wrong of you to use that word to describe our coworker.” Another example is saying, “I felt embarrassed when you told that joke” instead of, “That joke wasn’t funny.” Try to express your feelings without getting visibly upset. If the remark was extremely offensive, you may feel panicked or even start to cry. If this happens, that’s okay. You may simply need to take some time and space before you can have a calm conversation. If you find yourself becoming upset during the conversation, excuse yourself.  Say something along the lines of, "Please give me a minute, I'd like to discuss this with a level head."
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One-sentence summary -- Decide why this conversation is important to you. Ask the person to have a conversation. Remember who you’re talking to. Prevent a second offense. Speak about your feelings.


Microsoft made a lot of changes to the underlying Windows architecture in order to boost performance for Windows 8. One of the features that got cut was the sounds that plays when Windows starts up and shuts down. You can re-enable these using the Windows Registry, but thanks to another Windows 8 feature (Fast Boot), you'll only hear them when you perform a full manual shutdown. Note: This method will only change the Logon sound. You can do this by pressing the ⊞ Win key and typing regedit. HKEY_CURRENT_USER → AppEvents → EventLabels. WindowsLogon folder. ExcludeFromCPL key. 1 to 0. Click OK. This includes WindowsLogoff and SystemExit. You can search for it or press ⊞ Win+X and select it from the menu. Sounds tab.  Browse... to search your computer for a replacement sound. It must be in WAV format. In order to hear your logon sound, you must boot up from a full shutdown. Performing a regular shutdown will enable Fast Boot when you turn your computer on again, skipping the sound.  Press ⊞ Win+X  Select "Shut down or sign out" → "Shut down" You should hear your new logon sound once the computer logs into Windows.
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One-sentence summary -- Understand what has changed in Windows 8. Open the Windows Registry Editor. Use the directory tree on the left to navigate to . Find and open the . Double click the . Change the value from . Repeat this for any other disabled sounds you want to re-enable. Open the Control Panel. Select the "Sounds" option and click the . Scroll down and select the "Windows Logon" entry. Click . Perform a full shutdown. Boot your computer up.


Extend a hand or finger and allow the cat a chance to touch his/her nose to you.  If s/he shows no interest in your hand or just stares at it suspiciously, reconsider your intention to pet her. Try some other time when the cat may be in a different mood. When a cat bumps his/her head into your hand, it's a signal s/he wants attention. If you are busy at the moment, at least pet her once or twice, to let the cat know you aren't ignoring his/her. See if s/he fidgets. If s/he does, it may be that s/he just wants to lie there and relax, as humans are a great source of body heat. If s/he doesn't fidget, you can continue to lightly stroke his/her spine or in the spots described in Part 2. Cats love to be petted when they are on their sides. Lightly stroke the side that is facing up. If it meows or purrs, it may be communicating enjoyment. Avoid the belly, though (see Part 3, Step 3). The cat makes some low audible sounds (called purring). Purring is one way a cat signals that it feels sociable and wants attention. When accompanied by hip bumps, ankle twining or head bumping, it means your cat wants you to pet it right now. Sometimes one stroke is all the cat wants, like a handshake or a greeting, rather than a long hug and snuggle session. The loudness of a cat's purring denotes its happiness level. The louder the purring is, the happier the cat is at the time. A soft purr means that it is content, a loud purr means very happy. Excessively loud purring means over-excessive happiness, which can sometimes switch quickly to annoyance, so be careful. Sometimes even petting that feels good to the cat can become overstimulating or irritating, particularly if it is repetitive. If you're not paying attention, the sign to stop may come in the form of a soft, inhibited bite or scratch. Often, however, the cat gives several subtle signals before biting that she does not want to be petted anymore. Look for these advance warnings, and if you see them, stop petting:  Ears flattening against the head Tail twitching Fidgeting Growling or hissing
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One-sentence summary --
Let the cat sniff you before you pet it so it can become comfortable with you. Wait for the cat to bump his/her head against you. Pet the cat once if s/he jumps into your lap and lies down. Stroke a cat when s/he's on her side. Understand how your cat communicates. Watch for signs that the cat does not want to be petted anymore.