Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Provide constructive feedback instead of launching personal attacks. Stop Set a “no stonewalling” rule. Avoid making assumptions about your spouse's intentions. Strive to have substantial conversations regularly. Focus on the present instead of digging up the past.

Answer: All spouses get annoyed with each other and complain about pet peeves. However, if you and your spouse launch constant personal attacks, being in each other's presence feels like walking on eggshells.  Instead of saying, “You always ignore me. There's something wrong with you,” say, “I feel belittled and insecure when I say something and you don't respond. I'd appreciate it if we could work on treating each other with more respect.” Constructive feedback addresses specific actions instead of targeting someone's personality. If you want to save your marriage, you and your spouse need to learn how to discuss your problems respectfully and constructively. , breathe, and relax instead of yelling. No matter how frustrated you are with your spouse, do your very best to control your temper. In order to save your marriage, you and your spouse both need to keep your emotions in check. Inhale slowly, close your eyes, count, and remind yourself that you'll only solve your problems with mutual respect.  Whenever you're about to blow your top, count to 10 before you say anything. As tough as it is, resist the urge to fight, and think about your spouse's message. If your spouse is shouting, say, “I understand that you're upset, and I feel like yelling, too. But screaming at each other isn't going to get us anywhere. Let's cool down and show each other respect.” Stonewalling is when a partner shuts down or gives the silent treatment. You and your spouse need to communicate in order to resolve conflicts. If one or both of you shut down, you'll never solve your problems.  Try saying, “I know it can be tough to work through problems, and it's easier just to ignore each other. If we're going to make it, we have to set a rule that we talk things through instead of putting up walls.” Keep in mind it's okay to take time to cool down instead of discussing things in the heat of an argument. However, don't just ignore each other. Instead, say, “I think we should cool down for a bit, then talk this through when we're both calm.” Give your spouse the benefit of the doubt instead of always assuming their words and actions are malicious. If they're short with you or ignore you, try to understand that they might not be trying to attack you. Do your best to show them empathy instead of responding with anger.  For instance, if your partner is short with you, maybe they had a hard day at work. If they aren't talking to you, maybe they're sad, not angry. Try saying, “I don't want us to shut each other out, and we're not going to get anywhere unless we open up to each other. We need to let each other in, and stop assuming that we know what the other is thinking.” Set aside a time of the day for you and your spouse to have a good talk. Try to keep distractions, such as TV, phones, kids, or work, to a minimum. Rather than discussing chores and necessities, talk about your opinions, feelings, curiosities, fears, and goals.  It might take some time for deeper conversations to come naturally, so have patience. As you go about your day, note news stories, funny things you see, and other potential conversation starters. Additionally, let your spouse vent about their day to you. You don't necessarily need to give them advice or analysis. Providing each other a shoulder to lean on can help you rebuild your bond. It can be tempting to bring up something that happened 10 years ago to back your argument. However, resolving conflicts with your spouse isn't about winning a fight. Instead, aim to make your point calmly and rationally, and work with your spouse to find a compromise.  If you constantly dredge up old dirt on your spouse, they'll feel attacked instead of involved in a discussion. As difficult as it is, try to forgive them for hurting you in the past. Focus on your marriage's present and future.


Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Harvest ferns when they're dry. Pick the freshest ferns. Use your fingers to remove the ferns. Place your ferns between newspapers. Trim any unwanted leaves.

Answer: Flowers that have a lot of dew stuck to them will not press well, as they'll be hard to dry out. Strive to pick ferns late in the morning, after the dew has dried, or in the early evening. The fresher the ferns, the more attractive they'll be after being preserved. Look for ferns that have either just bloomed or are still in the bud form. Avoid any ferns that are already wilting. You can use your fingers to pick ferns by snapping the stems near the base of the leaves you want. The stems should snap easily. If they don't snap after being bended a couple of times, move your fingers up slightly. The stem will probably snap easier higher up on the plant. It's easy to damage plants while transporting them home. To prevent this, carry a few pieces of newspaper or similar materials with you when harvesting ferns. Place your ferns between the newspaper to carry them home. You can also use a magazine or folders. When you get your ferns home, take them out and examine them. Use a pair of scissors or shears to snip off any unwanted or broken leaves so they look fresh and attractive.


Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Seek opportunities that will make you feel competent and successful. Volunteer for a charitable organization. Get plenty of exercise. Eat healthy, nutritious foods. Spend time on your appearance. Surround yourself with a support network.

Answer: What are you good at?  Is there a loved one you can help with certain tasks?  Participating in activities where you can succeed will help you feel accepted, recognized, and supported. If you can take part in activities that develop and/or utilize your strengths, your overall self-esteem can be greatly boosted, resulting in higher emotional, social, and physical well-being. This activity has multiple benefits; it takes your mind off of your break-up, makes you feel good about yourself, and it helps others.  Make the experience even more rewarding by recruiting a close friend or two to volunteer with you. Regular exercise makes people feel happier.  You will likely feel better physically, with increased energy and motivation.  Exercise has the added benefit of helping you be in better physical shape, which may make your clothes fit more comfortably and give you the added boost of self-confidence that often accompanies losing weight. Your exercise routine doesn’t have to be rigorous, or involve a gym membership, to be effective.  You can simply walk outside for 30 minutes a day or find a class that interests you such as dance, yoga, or stand-up paddle boarding. Choosing foods that are high in fiber and low in processed ingredients and sugar can help you feel healthier and look better. Not a great cook? Find a cooking class and explore the new freedom of following only your own food preferences. Remember that a balanced diet includes a large portion of fruits and vegetables, a small portion of protein (such as lean meat), and a small portion of grains and dairy. Maintaining a clean and well-kept appearance is always helpful to boost your self-esteem. In fact, it is very common for people to find a new look (or at least a new hairstyle) after a long relationship ends.  You don’t have to change your whole style, however, to look presentable.  Leave the sweatpants at home and get dressed every day—including real shoes, not slippers—while you are on the road to recovery. While no one else can improve your self-esteem for you, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family who care about you and truly listen to you can help you get over your break-up and improve your self-esteem.


Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Avoid unhealthy communication styles. Practice speaking in front of a mirror. Use appropriate language. Use appropriate body language.

Answer:
Everyone has different ways of communicating, but some styles make it more difficult to say what you mean, mean what you say, and avoid being mean.  Passive people tend to avoid speaking up and avoid confrontation. They give in easily to and have difficulty saying “no,” for fear of being mean.  Aggressive people tend to be emotionally honest, but express this honesty in an inappropriate way. They overreact and belittle others in interactions. They are loud, accusatory, and unwilling to listen to others’ viewpoints.  Passive-aggressive people are not clear about what they truly want, need, or feel. They are indirect, make promises and commitments they cannot keep, give people the silent treatment, and use sarcasm. They may come across as judgmental. Think of typical situations in which you are having trouble speaking up. Imagine what you’d like to say to the other person. Take time to gather your thoughts.  Write down what you’d like to say. Practice with a trusted friend. Role-play with a trained professional, such as a counselor, who can give you honest and objective feedback. “I want…”, “I feel…”, and “I need…” are helpful ways to get across your feelings clearly and directly without blaming the other person for something. These are especially helpful when you need to convey negative feelings or have an uncomfortable conversation. You can use this formula in virtually any situation: “When you do [action], I feel [emotion], and I need [action].”  Make sure not to use bad language or be vulgar; that will make the relationship worse. If you want to address a problem with a coworker, try saying, “When you leave work for three-hour lunches, I feel burdened with finishing up the research on our project. I need more time with you to do this together.” If you want to express a concern to a friend, try saying, “When you repeatedly cancel plans with me at the last minute, I feel sad and disappointed. I need more notice if you’re going to cancel.” If you use appropriate body language, your message will be better received by the other person. Assertive body language comes across as more confident. Begin by looking person directly in the eye.  Maintain direct eye contact with the other person. Do not look down, look away, or glare. Stand or sit up straight. Avoid putting your hands on your hips, clenching your fists, or pointing your finger at the other person. Do not fidget. Do not raise your voice, shout, or hesitate.