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When you break the news about the breakup to your pals, set the terms early on. Let them know that you fully expect them to remain friends with you and your ex.  You may even say, “I know things might be awkward for a while, but we both love you too much to lose you.” If you and your ex are cordial with one another, it may help to do this part together. You should also share expectations you and your ex have agreed on with your friends so that everyone is on the same page. Friends may be the people you turn to when you want to vent about your ex, but mutual friendships are off-limits for these purposes. Trash-talking your ex or ruminating about the details of the breakup will only make your mutual friends uncomfortable. If you need support after the breakup, turn to friends that are exclusively yours. Whether there’s someone new or not, don’t ask your friends to keep you in the loop. Nothing is more likely to ruin mutual friendships than putting your friends in the position of spying on your ex. Staying informed about your ex’s personal life will only prolong your recovery after the breakup, anyway. When it’s all said and done, couples who end long-term relationship lose an average of eight friends. The majority of those eight are mutual friends that were shared between partners. In other words, it’s still likely that your friends may choose a side. All you can do is reach out to them and let them know that you would like to remain friends. You can’t control what they ultimately do.
Make your expectations clear. Keep your grievances to yourselves. Don’t force your friends to become spies. Know that they may still take sides.