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When living together, small problems can easily escalate if not properly addressed. Before taking a permanent step like marriage, work on the life you have together and discuss what hurdles you foresee and come up with a plan of attack together. A great way to explore your compatibility is by living together, sharing finances, or sticking to a budget.  Check your desired lifestyles. Many couples argue about money. First, determine how you will divide up all the bills. Next, make a mock-budget and try to stick to it. Discuss what kinds of financial goals are important. Perhaps you want to buy a house but he wants to have a nice car. It's important to identify these differences before it's too late. Look at the levels of cleanliness you find acceptable. For example, you may rub your partner the wrong way if you're a neat freak and they can go a few days without doing the dishes. A chore chart is a convenient way to compromise if you find yourself interested in an individual with opposite living habits. Analyze your day-to-day schedules. If your potential life partner likes to stay up late and sleep all day, ask yourself if you're okay with that. Be able to recognize you can spend time apart but, more importantly, understand how much time you need together to have a happy life. Before getting married, it's important to recognize what life goals you share. Talk about the timeline included with these goals such as having children, career expectations, location and if you want to have children.  Many life goals are viewed as interrelated. For example, if you have a career you love but you also want to have children, it's important to recognize the timeline you desire. Perhaps you want to keep moving forward in your career while having children in the next five years. You'd like your spouse to take paternity leave so you can miss minimal time at work. Communicating your desires and managing expectations are key. Remember that it's okay to end a relationship if your values don't match. If you want children and your potential spouse doesn't, don't try to change his mind. Explain your point of view and if you can't agree, don't feel bad about moving on. However, don't let go of an otherwise happy relationship right away. Try to re-evaluate your stance together in six months or even a year to see if you both still feel the same. If so, move along and keep optimistic that there is someone for you. Have a plan in place. Whether or not you want to get married right now, you'll need the bank account to do it. For example, saving up for that dream dress or expensive venue can give you the time needed to evaluate how you want to begin your lives together and how well you work together in making your plans come to fruition. Marriage is all about compromise; it's about the two of you. Sometimes you will have to let go of what you desire in order to satisfy your partner. If you can't do that immediately then you aren't prepared to do it for the rest of your life. Compromise is a secret to a long lasting and happy marriage.  Don't be resentful about compromise. The day you are on the receiving end of the compromise you'll be glad. You won't be happy if your partner has anger and resentment towards you over it. See your compromise from all ends of the spectrum. Listen to a different perspective. If you're ready to marry the person you're with, you'll automatically value his opinion. Being able to respectfully listen to what he says will make finding a compromise an easy process. Premarital counseling can help push your relationship through awkward growing pains and move ahead to a successful marriage. Carefully organized and driven, a counseling plan will help address many important aspects such as parenting, finances, religious beliefs and decision-making. Don't let any preconceived notions sully premarital counseling as only for religious couples. Many licensed and qualified therapists offer private counseling catered to your lifestyles. Talk about divorce. While often thought of as a faux pas, divorce is an important concept to discuss with your partner. For example, if your partner sees divorce as a readily-available option while you would rather exhaust all other venues, perhaps you aren't a good match. The reality is that divorce exists and discussing your feelings on it is the first step to figuring out why couples get divorced and how to avoid it. Marriage is not only a life-long commitment, but a joining of families, income, debt and lives. It isn't a topic to be taken lightly. If you're in a new relationship, a fresh college grad, or still learning about yourself, consider why you want to be married to your partner. It's acceptable to regularly discuss marriage as a topic with your partner to match up your beliefs, but once it's executed there is no turning back. Slow down and enjoy your lives together; you have plenty of time to get married. Set the standard for your friends and family by not allowing yourself to be pushed into marriage. Marriage is a commitment between you and your partner. Don't allow overbearing family to strong-arm you into getting married. When you're ready, you can choose for yourself based on your partner's and your beliefs. If you feel like you're being coerced or forced into marriage, call your local police department and ask for help.
Try your hand at living together. Match up your desired life goals. Provide compromise. Go to premarital counseling. Don't rush your relationship.