Summarize the following:
When your partner talks to you, make sure you are engaged and focused on them, and that they know you are focused on them. Some ways of doing this are:  Put down and close anything you are reading or looking at, and turn off the TV. Don't doodle, look at your watch or pick your nails. Watch your partner when they talk.  Repeat what they said. When they are done talking, start a sentence with something like "What I hear you saying is that ___________" and fill in a summary of what they've told you. If they agree that your summary is accurate, move on, if not ask them to clarify until you are sure you understand what they have said. Some signs that there might be more to what they're saying than the words are:  Tension in how they are standing or sitting (arms crossed is a good sign of anger and impatience) Any expression other than a neutral one on their face (if they are very excited, this is a request that you participate in their excitement and are excited for them, if they are sad, they will probably want sympathy) Touching their neck, ears and face is a sign of insecurity, probably means that they feel uncomfortable about what they are trying to tell you. People tend to jump to conclusions when they are angry and this can often mean that you hear something (often a criticism of you) that your partner isn't trying to say. If they are trying to explain something that you do that they don't like, remember that its in both of your best interests to understand what you are being told and respond. When something is bothering you, bring it up. If you feel like your partner is hiding something from you, ask about it. Keep the channels of communication wide open. It's important to be honest but kind. Some tips for making communication easier are:  Avoid saying things like "you always_____" or "You never_____" These are unlikely to be true, and will probably make your partner get defensive. Start sentences with "I feel like______." You're always right about your feelings, and this is a great way to make the other person NOT be defensive because you're not complaining about their behavior. Try to avoid "I feel like you____" This can be rephrased in a way that only uses "I." For example, rather than "I feel like you never do the dishes" say "I feel like I always do the dishes"  Don't interrupt. If you're not sure if your partner is finished talking, give them a few seconds of silence, and then ask if they are done. This is a really helpful tip to avoid tension building up in your relationship, and the fear that comes with the words 'we have to talk'. Schedule a time once a week, or once a month, to talk about any issues (big or small) in your relationship, and you will be less likely to have more difficulties that can make you break up. You can also schedule time during which you don't talk. If, for example, you're always very tired when you get home from work, agree that the first 15 mins (half an hour, two hours, or whatever) is going to be relaxation time during which you leave each other alone.
Listen. Pay attention to body language, watching for concealed emotions. Don't be defensive and don't jump to conclusions. Communicate. Schedule time to talk.