Article: List out the things you want to talk about. List the ways you were hurt, as well as specific examples. When you're in the heat of an argument or otherwise running on adrenaline from the anxiety of the discussion, it can be difficult to remember everything or get sidetracked or distracted. A list will help. It can also be helpful to tell him what you need or want to move forward. Rehearse what you are going to say in advance. You may write it down and read it aloud in front of a mirror. Or, you might ask the friend who gave you feedback to engage in a practice dialogue with you. When you confront the person, do so in a direct and honest manner. Don’t try to sugarcoat it or diminish the truth of how he made you feel. Also, there’s no need to beat around the bush—get straight to the heart of the matter. For example, you might say, “I was really hurt when you forgot my birthday last week. It made me feel unimportant to you.” You don't want to come across as sounding over-emotional or dramatic. Sounding like that makes it harder to take anyone seriously. Instead, keep calm and the discussion will go much easier. To have an effective dialogue with the other person, you want to prevent them from becoming defensive. You can try to do this by tailoring your words so that allow you to share what you’re feeling, without admonishing the other person. “I” statements can help you do that.  ”I” statement allow you to take ownership for your feelings: “I was really hurt when you forgot my birthday last week.” ”You” statements, on the other hand, increase the odds of the other person feeling attacked: “You don’t care about me! You forgot my birthday!” Don't make broad generalizations about things he does that hurt you. This is difficult for people to understand and sympathize with, especially when they're hurt. Instead, use specific examples. For example, avoid statements like "You always leave me to deal with the hard problems" and instead say "I was upset when you left me to deal with Bob this morning. You did that last week, too." Once you’ve expressed how you feel about the situation, allow him the opportunity to reply. Let him explain his point-of-view fully, even if you don’t agree.  Practice  active listening, trying to get a full understanding of what the other person is saying. What he says at this point will shed a lot of insight on how you may want to move forward. For instance, he might apologize and ask how he can improve his behavior in the future. On the other hand, he might defend himself, citing a busy schedule or stress as the reason he forgot your birthday. If you would like to continue the relationship, you might express a desire for change. Tell the person, in as much detail as you can, how he can resolve the situation and what you need from them moving forward.  For instance, you might say, “Special occasions are meaningful to me, and I’d like you to respect that. In the future, I’d appreciate it if you recorded birthdays and anniversaries in your calendar, so that you don’t forget them.” This works better than just complaining about your feelings. Have examples of what you want him to do instead and how he can go about doing it.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Make a list. Practice in advance. Be honest and straightforward. Keep an even, gentle tone. Use “I” statements. Use specific examples. Give him a chance to respond. Request that he make amends.
Article: Parts of the exam can feel awkward. Talking to your doctor during the exam can help you to feel more relaxed. Ask the doctor to explain what he or she is doing as they are doing it.  If you are being examined by a male doctor, a female nurse will be with you at all times during the exam. If one is not present in the room, ask for a nurse to be with you. The external areas will be examined, then an internal exam will be done. The external areas examined include the clitoris, labia, vaginal opening, and rectum. The internal exam includes the use of a speculum to check the vaginal canal, cervix, perform the Pap smear, and take other tissue samples if needed. A digital exam is performed to feel the uterus and ovaries.  However, the internal exam may not be necessary if you have never been sexually active. Make sure to let your doctor know if you are uncomfortable with the internal exam. If you have been sexually abused, then it may take several visits before you will feel comfortable with this type of exam. Be sure to communicate your concerns with your doctor. The entire exam takes only a few minutes. After the routine tests and medical questions are completed, you will be given a gown and asked to undress. Remove everything, including your panties and your bra, unless the nurse tells you otherwise. Gowns used for gynecological exams have openings in the front. This allows your doctor to examine your breasts. Much of the time, the gowns used are made of paper. An additional paper cover may be provided that goes over your lap. The breast exam comes first. The doctor will touch your breasts and move his or her hands in a circular and linear motion.  The doctor will check the breast tissue that extends up into your armpit area. Your doctor will also check your nipples for any abnormalities. The breast exam is done to check for any lumps or abnormalities. If you feel any discomfort during this procedure you should tell the doctor. You will need to position yourself so your feet can fit into holders, called stirrups. This allows your legs to be spread apart to aid in the next parts of the exam. Relax your legs and let them fall open. The external exams allows the doctor to examine the area for any signs of irritation, infection, or abnormalities in the tissues surrounding your vagina and urethra, which is the duct that allows you to pass urine from your bladder. The doctor will examine the area visibly, and may touch tissues in the area to examine them more closely. For example, if your labia is red or inflamed, the doctor may spread the labia to examine for any abnormalities. Next, the doctor will insert an instrument called a speculum. The speculum may be plastic or metal. A metal speculum may feel cold as it is inserted.  This will slide into your vagina, then will be gradually opened to allow the doctor to examine the vaginal canal and cervix.  This causes a feeling of pressure but should not be painful. If you feel pain, tell the doctor. Speculums come in different sizes, so another one can be tried if the first one is causing you pain. After the doctor has examined your cervix and vaginal canal, he or she will insert a small swab or brush, through the opening in the speculum, to remove some of the cells from your cervix. This is called a Pap test and is not recommended before the age of 21.  The sample taken will be sent to a lab and examined for any cells that look abnormal or cancerous. Most girls have perfectly normal Pap tests.  Typically, you will be notified of the test results from your Pap smear within 10 to 14 days. If you are having any problems, the doctor may take additional samples to be reviewed by a laboratory. The next part of the exam will involve the doctor sliding one or two fingers into your vagina, and applying pressure to your abdomen. This is done so the doctor can feel for any lumps or abnormalities around your ovaries and female organs including your cervix, fallopian tubes, and uterus. Once the exam is complete, you will remove the gown and get dressed. The nurse may escort you to the doctor’s office or a consultation area, or the doctor may review your exam with you in the room. The doctor will review your exam results with you, and answer any remaining questions you may have. He or she will also provide you with any written prescriptions that are needed, such as a prescription for birth control pills.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Ask your doctor to explain the procedures. Remove your clothes. Put on the gown. Have the breast exam. Slide to the end of the table. Have the external exam. Expect some pressure from the speculum. Know what the Pap test is. Understand the digital exam. Talk with your doctor before you leave.