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It may have taken you a long time to reach a point in your life when you decided you needed to start over. Alternatively, you could have been in a negative family situation since you were born and then decided that you needed to make life better. Whatever your case, try to determine the contributing factors to the situation.  Think about things people said and did, patterns of behavior (your own and others’), tones of voice, and patterns of your own thinking. Make a list of negative things you tend to repeat to yourself. Find evidence for and against this thought. Look for facts, rather than opinions. Ask yourself what makes you think this way. Put systems in place that will ensure that you don’t repeat the negative things that happened in the past. Create plans to follow whenever you notice feelings that trigger behavior that you regret. For example, perhaps you’ve noticed that when you feel sad, you tend to drink alcohol: form a plan for dealing with your sadness that will keep you from drinking.  Talk to a friend and ask him to help you with this problem. When you’re feeling sad, you can call him and ask them to come over. You can both play a sport or do something different. You could even try to talk about what is making you feel sad to help you deal with the situation. Try to come up with more than one plan to follow in these situations in case something prevents you from following your original one. If you understand why things happened the way they did, try to think of solutions that will prevent history from repeating. If other people are the reason that your life was negative, it can be more difficult to change the situation. For example, if you’re a teenager and your parents make your home life difficult, maybe you can encourage your parents to seek help for their lifestyle. You know your loved one best. It can be difficult to convince others to seek the help they need to better their life. Think of ways that you can help him yourself, consult with others on how best to approach the situation or read psychology articles related to your issue. You can’t simply stop doing things -- you have to start doing other activities to replace them. For example, if you had a habit of coming home from school and smoking in your room, form a routine that will help you achieve your goals instead. Plan ahead and ask a friend to help you, if you like. Once you come home, wash up, eat lunch then immediately leave for the public library to study. New habits may be harder to form than new routines. Start by consciously engaging in behavior that you want to become habit. Take for example, trying to maintain your personal hygiene. Make a conscious effort to brush your teeth before going to bed and after waking up in the morning. Set a daily reminder on your phone to help you or ask a parent to check that you’ve brushed your teeth. Once this becomes habit, you’ll feel uncomfortable if you don’t brush your teeth at these times. In your day to day life and in the long run, keep your goals in mind when you’re making decisions. Think about how your decision will affect your day and your future. Remember the poor choices you’ve made in the past. Choose that which is better for you. Sometimes, you might make a decision that would have worked for you in the past but doesn’t any more. Maybe playing video games used to refresh your mind and now it doesn’t bring you that same peace of mind. This is okay. You can outgrow anything. Don’t force yourself to do something that no longer serves you well.
Understand the problem. Take precautions against making mistakes. Learn from your past. Form new habits and routines. Make better choices.