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If you’re afraid of being abandoned, you might frequently act from a place of insecurity. Calling and texting someone multiple times a day, asking someone to spend all their free time with you, and accusing others of planning to leave you are a few examples of insecure behavior. Unfortunately, acting like this can have the unintended consequence of scaring friends and partners away. If these behaviors sound like you, work on finding alternative ways to manage your anxiety.  Practicing mindfulness can help you stop pushing others away. With a mindful perspective, you can examine your motives and choose to avoid impulsive, needy behavior. When you feel insecure, instead of acting on the emotion, try writing in a journal about why you feel that way. Another good option is to take a walk and think through your feelings. Many people who are afraid of being abandoned habitually seek out relationships with emotionally unavailable people. If you have a history of abandonment, you may unconsciously select partners who will act in the same way as your parents or previous partners.  Consider whether seeking out more emotionally available partners would help you break the cycle of anxiety and abandonment. If you notice unhealthy patterns in your relationships, it may be helpful to see a therapist. A mental health professional can help you identify the source of these unhealthy patterns and teach you to develop skills that move you towards healthier, balanced relationships. If you’re afraid of abandonment, you might have the tendency to focus intensely on one relationship to the exclusion of others. Forming a strong network of friends can help you stop focusing on just one person and provide you a sense of security.  If one person decides to leave or is unavailable, you will still have other friends to fall back on. Cultivating friendships can also help you practice maintaining healthy relationships.  Build a strong support system by opening yourself up to the opportunity to find and make friends. Join a new club at school. Take a cooking class. Visit your local park more often. Or, start a volunteer service commitment to connect with people with the same interests as you. Improving your self-esteem can help you become more emotionally self-sufficient and recover from your fear of abandonment. When you feel good about yourself and your abilities, you won’t need to rely on others for validation or attention. To increase your self-esteem, try learning a new skill, volunteering to help others, or working on a personal project that’s important to you.
Identify any behaviors that push others away. Question the types of relationships you seek. Build a network of friends. Focus on activities that build your self-esteem.