” Arguing about the details of an experience that involves more than one person is usually frustrating, because experience is highly subjective. How we experience and interpret situations is unique to us, and two people may experience the same situation very differently. An apology needs to acknowledge the truth of the other person’s feelings, regardless of whether you think they’re “right” or not. For example, imagine that you went out to the movies without your partner. Your partner felt left out and hurt. Instead of arguing about whether s/he is “right” to feel this way or whether you were “right” to go out, acknowledge that s/he felt hurt in your apology. One of the most common mistakes of apologizing is using “you” instead of “I” statements. When you apologize, you must accept responsibility for your actions. Don’t push responsibility for the offense off on to the other person. Keep the focus on what you did, and avoid sounding like you’re blaming the other person.  For example, a very common but ineffective way of apologizing is to say something like, “I’m sorry your feelings were hurt” or “I’m sorry you got so upset.” An apology does not need to apologize for the other person’s feelings. It needs to acknowledge your responsibility. These types of statements don’t -- they push the responsibility back onto the person who was hurt.  Instead, keep the focus on you. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings” or “I’m sorry that my actions upset you” express responsibility for the hurt you caused, and don’t come across as blaming the other person. It’s natural to want to justify your actions when explaining them to another person. However, presenting justifications will often negate the meaning of an apology, because the other person may perceive the apology as insincere. Justifications may include claims that the person you hurt misunderstood you, such as “you took it the wrong way.” They may also include denial of injury, such as “it wasn’t really that bad,” or a sad tale, such as “I’ve been damaged so I couldn’t help it.” An apology may express that your offense was not intentional or aimed at harming the person. This can be helpful in reassuring the person that you care about them and did not mean to cause harm. However, you must be careful that your reasons for your behavior don’t slip into justifying away the harm you did.  Examples of excuses might include denying your intent, such as “I didn’t mean to hurt you” or “It was an accident.” Excuses may also include denial of volition, such as “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was saying.” Use these types of statements carefully, and make sure that you always acknowledge the hurt you did first before following it with any reasons for your behavior.  The person who was hurt is more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses rather than justifications. She/he is even more likely to forgive you if you offer excuses in combination with accepting responsibility, acknowledging the hurt, recognizing the proper behavior, and ensuring proper behavior in the future. ” An apology that includes the word “but” will almost never be understood as an apology. This is because “but” is what’s known as a “verbal eraser.” it shifts the focus from what should be the point of the apology -- acknowledging responsibility and expressing regret -- to justifying yourself. When people hear the word “but,” they tend to stop listening. All they hear from that point is “but this was really all your fault.”  For example, don’t say something like, “I’m sorry, but I was just tired.” This emphasizes your excuse for the offense, rather than focusing on your regret for hurting the other person. Instead, say something like, “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I know that hurt your feelings. I was tired, and I said something I regret..” Studies suggest that “self-construal” affects how the other person accepts your apology. In other words, the way the other person sees him- or herself in relation to you and to others affects what type of apology will be most effective.  For example, some people are highly independent and value things such as entitlements and rights. These people are more likely to be receptive to an apology that offers a specific remedy for a hurt. For people who highly value their close personal relationships with others, they may be more likely to be receptive to an apology that expresses empathy and regret. Some people highly value social rules and norms and imagine themselves as part of a larger social group. People like this may be most likely to be receptive to an apology that acknowledges that values or rules were violated. If you don’t know the person very well, aim to incorporate a little bit of everything. These apologies are more likely to acknowledge what is most important to the person you’re apologizing to. If you're having a hard time mustering the words for an apology, consider writing your feelings down. This will help you make sure that you express the wording and feelings just right. Take your time and sort out exactly why you feel compelled to apologize, and what you'll do to ensure the mistake won't happen again.  If you worry that you will become very emotional, you can bring your notes with you. The other person may even appreciate that you took such care to prepare the apology. If you’re concerned you will mess up your apology, consider working it through with a close friend. You don’t want to practice so much that your apology seems forced or over-rehearsed. However, it may be helpful for you to practice your apology with someone and get his/her feedback about it.
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One-sentence summary -- Give up the idea of being “right. Use “I”-statements. Avoid justifying your actions. Use excuses cautiously. Avoid the “but. Consider the other person’s needs and personality. Write your apology down, if you like.


This is a free, ad-free program that will convert your video files into different formats. It is available for Windows and Mac. You can download it from macroplant.com/adapter/. After downloading the installer, run it to install Adapter. You can leave the settings at their defaults. Make sure to keep the "FFmpeg" installation option enabled, as this is required for converting videos. You'll find it in your Start menu (Windows) or in your Applications folder (Mac). It may have started automatically after installation finished. This will add it to the conversion queue. You can also click the "Browse" button in Adapter and navigate to the file. Sometimes Adapter may say "Error" when adding a file. Just right-click the file and select "Remove" and then try adding it again. This will usually fix the problem. This will let you choose different formats to convert to. Alternatively, if you're converting the file for a specific device, you can select it from the Video menu instead. After selecting Custom MP4, you'll see several options appear in the right frame of the window. The "Quality" dropdown menu in the "Resolution" section can be changed to "Very High (Lossless)" to preserve the original video quality. The time this takes will vary depending on the size of the original video. By default, the new file will be located in the same folder with the same file name and the new MP4 extension. The original file will not be altered.
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One-sentence summary --
Download and install Adapter from Macroplant. Launch Adapter after installing it. Drag your MOV file into the Adapter window. Click the drop-down menu at the bottom of the Adapter window. Select "Video" → "General" → "Custom MP4." Select your quality settings (optional). Click "Convert" to convert the MOV file to MP4.