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Write down what makes you unique. Identify what makes you happy. Discover what is holding you back. Find out which needs are not being met.
Before you can understand who you want to be, it is key to know what makes you stand out. Learning what makes you different is a process called differentiation, and it is an essential part of self-discovery.  Everybody has special gifts and talents that make them unique from people around them. By listing positive qualities that are a core part of who you are, you separate yourself from the potentially toxic influence and pressure of those around you. Try to think of all of the things that make you smile. Perhaps you feel fulfilled when you are playing music, or maybe you enjoy being out in nature. Make a list of everything you enjoy in life. Next ask yourself why these make you happy. Do they relax you during hectic times? Do they provide excitement in an otherwise dull life? By uncovering why they make you happy, you may also learn what makes you unhappy. Once you discover what makes you happy, try spending more time on those activities and practices. Fears, anxieties, insecurities, and self-criticism can prevent you from changing yourself for the better. Such self-destructive thoughts stop you before you can even begin your reinvention. Every time you feel a burst of fear or self-doubt, stop yourself and ask “why do I feel this way?” Once you know why you are nervous, you can take steps to overcoming those insecurities.  Talking through your fears with your friends or a therapist can also help you identify the causes of your self-doubt. Try writing in a journal when you feel anxious. Whenever you are feeling bad about yourself, write it down. Not only will it make you feel better but you can reflect on your entries later to figure out the source of your insecurities. Everyone has needs and desires. If you have certain psychological or spiritual demands that are not being fulfilled, you may feel something lacking in your life. Create a hierarchy of your needs, and record what is and is not being satisfied.  Are your basic needs (food, water, shelter) being met? Do feel safe in your current relationships or in your physical location? Do you feel loved by those around you? Do you feel as though what you do matters? Are you fulfilled by your job/social life/school? Do you have a creative outlet?