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Before you can move forward, you need to be able to identify the causes of your stress. Take some time to be alone and get out a notepad or journal. List everything that may be contributing to your feelings of stress. Once you have a better sense of what is causing your stress, you can make changes that will help you cope with it.  Consult a stress inventory. A stress inventory can help you assess your stress. The Holmes-Rahe Life Stress Inventory is widely used in the psychology and psychiatric fields. This list contains 43 stressful life events that can impact your mental and physical well-being from severely stressful events, such as the loss of a spouse or a divorce to less stressful events, like vacations and minor violations of the law (e.g., jaywalking or parking tickets). It is important to note, however, that all individuals feel stress in different ways and deal with life events differently. While a stress inventory may be useful in helping you identify some causes of stress, it may not list everything you're experiencing or may assign values that don't jive with your own experience. Journaling - even for just 20 minutes a day - has been proven to help people in many areas of their lives. Journaling has been correlated with reduced stress and an improved immune system. Further, writing helps you keep track of your personal behavior and emotional patterns. It can also help you resolve conflict and know yourself better.  Begin by considering the root causes of your stress. You may think you're stressed because of your low salary, but the real root cause may be that you're generally dissatisfied at your job and are uncertain about what career path to pursue. Or what if you get stressed when your husband buys a new gadget? Are you mad specifically about the gadget or is your stress coming from bigger concerns about your family's growing debt? Evaluate your personal relationships. Are the relationships in your life helping you be a better person and cope effectively with stressors? Or are these relationships instead causing added stress? Are you stressed because of a specific situation or are you in a permanent state of stress? Stress because a coworker failed to get his project done for a meeting, for example, is different than if you are feeling stressed from the moment you wake up to when you go to bed. If you are in a constant state of stress, there may be a more serious underlying condition to your stress. In this case, you should consult a mental health professional for guidance and advice. You can also start learning how to deal with anxiety by reading up on the different coping strategies that are out there. This will help you determine what is stressing you out the most. Ranking your stressors will also determine where you should focus your energies in order to proactively reduce your stress. For instance, traffic might be at number 10, whereas financial concerns are at the top of the list. To reduce stress, you have to be methodical and thoughtful. If you're really determined to reduce or even eliminate the stress in your life, then you have to take directed and specific actions to alleviate certain stressors.  Start with the little things on the bottom of the ranked list you created and see if you can address them one by one. For example, you could make traffic time less stressful by leaving earlier, bringing along your favorite music or getting books on tape to listen to in the car. You could also consider alternative transport options, like a carpool or public transit. Work your way up the list to find ways to address all of the different aspects of your life that stress you out. Some may be easier to cope with than others. For example, it might not be so simple to remove the stress of money as to make your commute more enjoyable. However, you can still plan to take proactive measures wherever possible, such as consulting with a financial advisor. Even the act of reflecting on your stress can be empowering and stress-relieving.  Consider making a Stress Management Worksheet for each of your stressors. This will help you understand each stressor individually and how it impacts your life. It can also help you think of and commit to a few ways to addressing that stressor. For example, you can write down how you plan to cope with a specific stressor from a more positive perspective. The worksheet also helps you focus on your more general experiences of stress as well and asks you to commit to listing a few key ways in which to plan to treat your self better and engage in some self-care. You don't have to deal with your stress alone. You'll feel much better if you open up to a friend, family member, or even a professional. If you share your feelings, chances are that you'll be able to get some helpful feedback and a fresh perspective on your problems. In addition, the very act of talking about your stress - saying the words out loud - might help you clarify what exactly it is that you are struggling with.  Talk to a close friend or family member about your stress and stress management techniques. It's likely that people around you have had to cope with stress at some point in their lives, so you'll not only be able to open up, but you'll gain some insight as well. Know when to get help. If you constantly feel overwhelmed by every aspect of your life, you may benefit from seeing a mental health professional. If you're so stressed that you can barely sleep, eat, or think straight, then it's time to seek help.
Identify the causes of your stress. Assess the frequency of your stress. Rank the causes of your stress. Design a game plan to reduce the stress in your life. Reflect with the help of others.