Summarize the following:
If somebody's done something really hurtful, it's natural to feel bad about it. Trying to ignore or deny your feelings won't make them go away, and might even make you feel worse. Instead, put a name to what you're feeling and allow yourself to experience your emotions without judgment. When you have a moment, sit somewhere quiet and just breathe and think about how you are feeling. For example, you might think to yourself, “I'm feeling tense and embarrassed. I'm really upset about how Allie behaved at my birthday party.” Consider what might have been going on in the other person's mind to trigger their behavior. Maybe they were having a bad day and were lashing out at everyone around them, or perhaps they simply didn't realize how hurtful their behavior was. Even if it's clear that the other person was being intentionally mean, remember that people usually behave that way because of their own insecurities. Understanding or empathizing with the other person's motives doesn't mean you have to excuse their behavior. However, it can help you make sense of their behavior and feel less hurt and confused by it. Remember that no matter what led up to your hurtful encounter with the other person, they made the choice to act the way they did. Their behavior says more about them than it does about you. On the other side of the coin, acknowledge that the other person doesn't control your feelings or behaviors, either. It's okay to feel hurt, but recognize that your hurt feelings are your own. Ignoring somebody is not always a helpful or healthy way to deal with conflict. In fact, intentionally ignoring someone or giving them the silent treatment can be extremely hurtful. If the person who hurt you is a friend, loved one, significant other, or coworker, communicating with them about how you feel and discussing ways to deal with the problem is usually a better option. For example, you might say, “I feel really hurt when you call me immature during an argument. Can we work on finding some better ways to express our frustration with each other, instead of using insults?” If you're dealing with someone who regularly hurts you or disrespects your boundaries, your best bet may be to avoid them as much as possible or even cut ties altogether. If you feel you owe the person an explanation for why you are avoiding them, then calmly let them know that you have been repeatedly hurt by their behavior and are cutting ties for the sake of your own wellbeing. If you can't avoid the person altogether—for example, if they are a coworker or a family member who lives with you—be civil, but don't seek out their company. If you can, have another person with you when you have to interact with them.

summary: Allow yourself to feel upset about what happened. Try to understand the person's motives. Acknowledge that the other person's hurtful behavior is not your fault. Work on solving the problem instead of ignoring the other person. Minimize your contact with the person if necessary.


Summarize the following:
If a bunch of people are together talking and you want to join the group, hang back for a moment and listen in to the conversation. You don’t need to walk up and contribute right away. Wait until you’re caught up on what’s being discussed, then chime in with a question or a statement. For example, if people are talking about sports, say, “I couldn’t believe the game last night!” If people are talking about school, say, “Who else has an exam tomorrow?” Especially if it’s a big party, it’s likely that people will break off into smaller groups. Suggest a card game or board game and invite people to play with you. It may be easy to talk to people while you play the game and being in a smaller circle can make you feel more comfortable.  Put on some music and get people to dance. Ask people you don’t know, “Do you want to play cards? We’re getting some teams together.” If you successfully join a conversation with other people and someone new walks up, invite them to join the conversation. Let them know what everyone is discussing or invite them to contribute to the discussion. For example, say, “Tim just got a puppy and we’re discussing dogs. What do you think about having a puppy?”
summary: Join groups slowly. Start an activity to get people engaged. Include others in group conversations.