However your parents react, you will need to accept it. Remember that they will likely be surprised and emotional. Instead of arguing or fighting with them, accept their response. Remember that everyone needs time to process their thoughts and feelings. You can say, “I’m sorry you feel that way. I won’t pressure you, but I do hope you’ll change your mind.” This could be a really emotional conversation for both you and your parents. If it seems like you are talking in circles, consider taking a break. You could suggest that you choose a time to have a follow-up talk. Say, “We all seem tired. Could we talk about this again on Saturday?” It might be pretty tough if you don’t get a supportive reaction. Try to focus on the positive parts of your relationship. Remember that they might not always be so angry or sad. Try to give them some time to process. This doesn’t mean that you should let them treat you poorly. Remember to stick up for yourself. You might be pretty tired after such a big conversation. Remember to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Try getting something to eat and doing something relaxing. You might see if a friend wants to go for a walk. Don’t forget to do things that make you happy. Listen to your favorite music, watch a funny show, or read a good book.
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One-sentence summary -- Accept their response. Plan a follow-up conversation. Be patient. Practice self-care.


Typically, the employee's manager should be the one to provide feedback. If you manage people, it is your job to give them timely, clear feedback. In some cases, it might be more appropriate for someone from Human Resources to address the issue. For example, if it is a sensitive issue regarding health, an HR professional might be better equipped to handle the issue.  If you are a small business owner, you might want to be in charge of providing feedback to all of your employees. Alternatively, you can delegate it to an employee that you trust. All employees should receive feedback, whether they are part-time or full-time. At the very least, set up a quarterly meeting to check-in. But also give feedback anytime you see an issue with performance. It's important to track overall performance so that you can objectively evaluate how the employee is doing. That means that you need to document it whenever an issue occurs. For example, if you are a small business owner, you might have a problem with employees showing up on time. Each time someone is late, make a note in their file. You should also mention it to them in person.  Also make a point to document it when someone does something well. For example, if your employee made it a point to spend a lot of time helping a customer, make a note in their file that they went above and beyond. Also, tell them in person that you appreciate their efforts. You can also send feedback in an email to have further documentation. Providing feedback quickly allows you to correct any issues that have arisen and it also ensures that the performance issue is fresh in the employee’s mind. If you need to give someone feedback, try to do so as soon as possible. This might mean at the end of the day, or even at the moment. If it’s a more complicated issue, take a few days to make your plan.  If an employee is arguing with a co-worker or client, it’s okay to draw them aside to address the situation immediately. You can always follow up later with written feedback. Make sure to give positive feedback, too. You might say to an employee, “I noticed you’ve been taking on a lot more responsibility lately. Let’s meet next week to talk about leadership opportunities that are available.” Follow up with an email to remind them of what you spoke about. Avoid using generalities. You don’t want any ambiguity in your feedback. Use precise language to clearly state the issue and how it needs to be handled.  Don’t say, “You’re not doing a good job.” Instead, be specific and say, “This job requires you to hold staff meetings once a week. The past 2 weeks, you have failed to set a meeting time or circulate an agenda. This leads to a breakdown in communication and your team members are lacking direction.” Avoid contradicting previous feedback. For example, maybe you own a small boutique. If you asked an employee to make a display of fall boots, don't later say that they should have highlighted sweaters instead. Objective words rely on facts, whereas subjective terms can often involve feeling and emotions. Make sure to be objective when you give feedback so that you can use documentation and facts to support your points.  Instead of saying, “The employee has a bad attitude,” say, “The employee refuses to attend required team-building exercises and often ignores co-workers when they try to speak to them.” Try saying, “The employee doesn’t look good,” say, “The employee regularly comes to work in jeans, when company policy requires business professional attire.” Absolutes are rarely true, so it’s best not to use them. Try not to say things like, “The employee is never on time,” or “The employee is always argumentative.” You likely won’t be able to prove these statements if the employee questions the feedback.
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One-sentence summary --
Provide feedback to all employees you supervise directly. Document both problems and positive outcomes. Give feedback in a timely manner. Use specific language to make your points clear. Choose objective terms to describe performance. Avoid using absolutes.