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If you want to know if a guy is playing you, the easiest way can be to ask him. Though you may not want to know if he’s cheating on you, you can just ask him where you stand with him. If he’s not feeling it as much as you are, then you’re better off knowing sooner rather than later. Simply find some time to be alone and ask him what his thoughts are about you and your future together.  Though this may not be easy, this is far better than wondering for months. You’ll have a definitive answer, once and for all. And if he’s obviously lying, then you’ll be able to see that, too. If you’re really feeling bold, you can just flat-out ask him if he’s cheating. Point to some shady behavior that has led you to feel this way. Though it’s best to just ask him yourself, you can also get some great feedback from your friends, too. They’ve been watching the situation unfold and may have a sense of what the relationship is like from the outside. They may even have a better sense of whether or not he’s playing you because they might have seen him with girls without you and may have a different impression.  Tell your friends to be honest with you. They shouldn’t lie to you just to spare your feelings. They can investigate a bit if you really want them to. If it won’t look too obvious, you can have one of your friends casually show up in a place where your guy is likely to be and to keep an eye on him to see how he is with other girls. Of course, if he thinks you’ve sent a spy in his direction, he’ll be on his best behavior. Okay, so if you really don’t care about being found out or breaking his trust, then one thing you can do is to follow your guy after you’ve been hanging out, or just when you know he’ll be at a certain place, to see what he’s been up to. Whether you’re driving at a far distance away, walking, or taking the bus, try to be far enough away that he doesn’t see you and to have a ready-made story in case he does catch you in the act. This can lead you to see if he’s seeing any other girls—or if he’s just going home to hang out with his cat. Just know that this is pretty risky behavior that can lead you to get caught. If you’re caught and he hasn’t been doing anything wrong, this can be a relationship ender for you, so make sure you really think following him is a good idea before you begin. Another way to find out if he’s playing you is to show up at his place unannounced. You can pop in an hour earlier than you said you’d be there to see if there’s a different woman there or if he’s suspiciously cleaning everything up. You can also just drop by because you’re “in the area” at a time when he’s supposed to be studying or home working to bring him some coffee or a treat. When you show up, see if he’s happy to see you or if he seems nervous, like he’s hiding something—or someone. Of course, if it’s totally absurd that you would show up at his house out of the blue, then he’ll be on to you. But if you’ve come over there before and it hasn’t been a big deal, just try to make it seem natural. Though snooping through your guy’s things won’t win you any trust points, if you’re desperate and feel pretty sure that you want to cheat on him, then you can try looking through his phone or his email, or even looking through his room for suspicious items like female clothing that is obviously not yours. Snooping is a last resort and you should only do it if you feel like you really need answers and nothing else is working.  The problem with snooping is that, even if you’ve found evidence, you’ll have to admit that you’ve been going through the guy’s things if you want to call him out. This will make him angry at you, and will take the focus off the real situation. If you’re looking through his phone, have an excuse ready in case he catches you. You can say that your phone died and that you were looking up the restaurant where you two were having dinner or that you needed to quickly check your email or something. Though this may not be too convincing, it may be better than nothing. You can also try to catch the guy in a lie to find out if he’s playing you. If he’s mentioned that he hung out with his friends or brother the other night, when you see them, you can ask about how the boy’s night out went; if they look confused, then you may know that he lied. If he tells a story about how he had to stay home because his sister was having drama, you can ask him how she’s feeling a few days later; if he acts like he has no idea what you’re talking about, then it may be because he already forgot his own lie. You can even try asking him simple questions like which movie he saw if he went to the movies with his friends. If he looks embarrassed or clearly doesn’t know the answer, then you’ll know that he’s playing you. If you just get the feeling that the guy isn’t sincere even though you can’t find any proof of it through snooping, then it may be time to end the relationship. Maybe he’s not seeing other girls, but he still can be playing with you just because he’s not feeling it as much as you are. As long as you know you’re not the one with jealousy issues and see that you have a real reason to be concerned, if you really think he might be playing you, then it’s time to cut him loose. When you’re with a guy who really cares for you and who is there for only you, you’ll know. You won’t spend hours calling him and wondering where he is and you won’t have to stoop as low as snooping through his things or following him because you’ll have no reason to do it. You’ll know that he’s there for you 100% and that will be an amazing feeling.
Ask him. Ask your friends what they think. Consider following him. Show up at his place when he doesn’t expect it. Snoop through his things—if you’re okay with breaking his trust. Try to catch him in a lie. Even if there’s no proof, trust your gut.