Starting a conversation with someone you do not know can be difficult. You will feel less awkward if you are well prepared.  Prepare some conversation starters before you go somewhere so you will have something to talk about.  If you are going to a party, you may say, “The food is really good. Have you tried the ____?” or “How do you know ____?” You can give a compliment. “Hey, I love your shirt. Where did you get it?” If you are going to a place where you have something in common with the people there, talk about what you have in common and then ask a question. You may say, “I love video games too, what is your favorite one?” Write down what you would like to say and rehearse in front of the mirror or out loud. This will help the conversation feel more natural when you actually go through with it. Even though you practice, things may not go exactly how you planned, but that's okay.  After you have practiced and tried to do it in real life, you can make adjustments based on your experience. Your practice should be specific to the challenge that you are taking on. If you are going to school, your practice conversations may focus on studying, note taking, or an upcoming project or test. If you are going to a party, your practice conversation may focus on music, providing compliments, and food at the party. Because you are shy, you are probably thinking about yourself when you interact with others. You may worry about how the other person perceives you or what you will say next. Instead of thinking about yourself and your feelings, focus on what the other person is saying or what is going on around you.   Being a good listener can help you focus on the other person. Make eye contact, nod your head every once in a while, and smile at the person. You can also make comments like “yes,” “uh huh,” or “mmhmmm” during the conversation. Watch their behaviors, tones, body language, facial expressions, and how they relate to others. Use empathy to try to experience what they are talking about. Doing this will also help you be more present in a conversation and more able to respond appropriately. It can be easy to sit back and observe a conversation instead of actually participating in the conversation. This is even more difficult if the group of people all know each other, and you are an outsider. If this is the case, try to stay engaged in the conversation and make small statements such as:  ”Yeah, I know right.” ”That’s crazy.” ”I heard that too.” Laugh when other people laugh instead of being silent. These small statements can also prepare you to start saying more when you feel more comfortable. Open-ended questions are questions that require more than a “yes” or “no” answer. These types of questions keep the conversation going and allow you to learn about the other person. Most people like talking about themselves so this takes the burden off of you.  For example, instead of saying, “Do you have a pet?” you say, “What type of animals do you like?” Instead of saying, “Do you have plans this weekend?” you say, “What are you looking forward to this weekend?” When you are entering a group situation where you would like to speak more, try to get in the conversation within the first 10 minutes. If you jump in the conversation early, you are less likely to clam up or chicken out. You do not have to make a big contribution to the conversation either. Simply agreeing with someone or asking a question will do.

Summary: Practice some conversation starters. Practice what you will say. Focus on the other person. Make small contributions during group conversations. Ask open ended questions. Speak early in the conversation.


Encourage your partner to avoid sleeping on their back. This can make snoring worse by putting pressure on your partner's diaphragm. Some have recommended sleeping with something uncomfortable, like a tennis ball, sewn into the back of a shirt.  This will make it awkward for your partner to sleep on their back and forces them to sleep in another way. Being overweight is a common cause of snoring.  The extra weight affects the lungs and neck, making airflow blocked or strained during sleep.  Being overweight is not always a cause of snoring, however, it does increase the probability that snoring will occur.  Excess body fat will increase the chances of developing sleep apnea.  Changing aspects of  a lifestyle, such as losing weight, are usually recommended starting points to stop snoring.  Have your partner ask your doctor for more information on how you can best lose weight. Nasal strips are an over-the-counter method of improving airflow through the nose.  The nasal strip works by slightly pulling open, and keeping open, the nostrils.  The improved airflow will help reduce snoring.  Falling asleep with the nasal strip on may be unusual at first.  Continued use will help your partner get used to the nasal strip. These strips won't be helpful to anyone suffering from sleep apnea because sleep apnea is caused by collapsed soft tissues in the back of the throat. Alcohol consumption and smoking can affect the throat and respiratory systems.  Have your partner reduce the use of either to help prevent snoring from occurring.  Alcohol causes the neck and tongue to relax which can obstruct airflow. Never drink alcohol right before sleep as this will make snoring worse. Smoking damages the throat and respiratory system.  By reducing the amount your partner smokes, the chances of snoring occurring will also be reduced. Remember that snoring is a symptom of some other issue.  Have your partner visit your doctor to determine exactly what the cause of their snoring may be.  Examine the following list of possibilities to get an idea of what to expect:  Nasal blockages.  This may be due to chronic congestion or the configuration of your nasal passages, such as a deviated septum. Untreated allergies.  Allergies can produce swelling of tissue in the nose and throat, as well as cause mucus production that can make breathing difficult. Obstructive sleep apnea.  Sleep apnea is a potentially serious medical condition that your doctor will want to address.  This occurs when your throat tissue blocks your airway and prevents breathing entirely. If other options have not put an end to the snoring, ask your doctor about surgical options.  Depending on your partners situation, there are a few different surgeries that may be recommend by your doctor:  If your partners palate is the cause of their snoring, their doctor may recommend palatal implants.  These are strands of polyester filament that are placed within the soft palate the mouth, which stiffen and prevent snoring. Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty (UPPP) may be recommended if your partner has excess or loose tissue in or around the throat.  By removing and tightening this tissue, this cause of snoring is eliminated. Laser and radio/sonic based treatments can also be used to shrink any excessive amounts of tissue in the throat.  These are both outpatient procedures and are not as invasive as traditional surgery.
Summary: Have your partner try sleeping on their side or stomach. Lose weight. Try nasal strips. Avoid alcohol and smoking. Visit your doctor. Explore surgical options to end snoring.