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You are not alone, the abuse was not your fault, and no one ever deserves to experience abuse in any way. One step to healing from abuse is to recognize that you did nothing to deserve disrespectful treatment. As a human, you have rights to be treated decently by those in your life, by strangers, family members, and intimate partners alike. Recognize that each human has the right to be treated with respect, have their opinions heard, to change their mind, to be listened to and to be treated with respect at all times. . Emotionally abusive people often force you to put their needs, desires, and demands above your own. This desire for harmony and less conflict can slowly choke out your voice, leaving you feeling like you don’t know what you want or who you are. Learn to rediscover your inner voice. One way to do this is to begin making decisions on your own and learning not to second-guess yourself.  While decisions can be scary at first, start with small decisions and build your self-confidence. Try asking yourself something simple, such as, “What do I want for dessert tonight? Cherry ice cream or chocolate?” As you gain confidence making simple decisions, you may start to feel more confident about making more difficult decisions. Try to develop a system for making difficult decisions, such as identifying the problem and using a pros and cons list to weigh your options. . After enduring emotional abuse, you may have lost touch with your own preferences for things. Spend some time reclaiming yourself by engaging in liking and disliking things. Do things for yourself that bring you happiness and joy. Do things that you enjoy without worrying about pleasing anyone else. To start, you may go to a candle shop and find which scents you enjoy. You can also cook or buy foods that you enjoy on your own, even if other people don’t enjoy them. You may feel like your self-esteem has been shattered after enduring an emotionally abusive relationship. Take time to recognize your positive qualities. You can choose memories of yourself before the abuse began and remember that who you are is still the same and you still have those qualities. Remind yourself of the beauty within you that hasn’t gone anywhere.  Write in a journal. Ask yourself, “What positive traits, qualities, and characteristics do I like about myself?” Are you kind, generous, helpful, or good with people? Do you take good care of your pets, children, or family members? What things do you appreciate about yourself? Think about what you are good at as a way to boost self-confidence. Are you a good cook, athlete, artisan or crafter? Think about what you excel at.
Recognize your rights. Make decisions for yourself Re-learn your preferences Embrace your positive qualities.