Q: There is no need to buy a knot toy that your dog will shred as soon as you get it home. Instead, cut up a towel into strips about 5 in (13 cm) wide. Tie the ends of the strips together in knot. Wrap the loose ends of the strips together to create braids, then knot the other end to complete the toy.  Towels can also be used as toys or bedding for rabbits, ferrets, rats, and other animals. Stick with a natural fiber like cotton instead of a synthetic one like nylon. Towels are safe to chew on, but take them away if you suspect your pet is eating them. Making a toy is simple and your pet probably won’t mind that it didn’t come from a store. You can adjust the toy’s size by cutting larger or smaller strips from the towel. Stack a pair of towels, sew them together, and stuff them to make a simple bed that works well for even large dogs. Another option is to get a pillowcase and fill it with shredded towels before sewing it shut with a whip stitch. If you’re looking for something simpler, place the towels in spots where your pets like to sleep so less fur ends up on your furniture. If you’re preparing bedding for smaller animals, make sure you use a fleece towel. Other types of towels fray, making them dangerous for rats, mice, guinea pigs, and hamsters. Your pet could chew on the towel or get its nails stuck in the fabric. Newspaper liners get messy, so try using a towel instead. Pets like dogs and cats could use the towels as blankets. An absorbent towel is also great for cleaning up any accidents. You can then wash the towel in your sink to reuse it or throw it away when you no longer need it.  Use towels to line bird cages, for example. Bird owners go through plenty of newspapers while keeping cages clean. Towels are also useful for covering a cage to calm a bird and help it sleep. Keep in mind that fraying towels could be harmful to pets when their nails get caught in them. Try trimming off frayed edges and sewing on a hem. Also, don’t use towels if your pet might eat them. Owners make use of fluffy towels, but there is no reason pets can’t enjoy them too. Fluff your pet up to keep them warm once they hop out of the water. Towels are also useful for giving your pet a safe shelter if they are scared and a cushion for your fingers if they might bite or scratch during the grooming process. For example, rodents like having a towel to hold onto and hide under. Pets like hamsters and birds have powerful bites, so use a towel as a shield. Veterinarians and animal shelters are always in need of towels. Call around to see which places are in need of towels at the moment. Towels go toward lining cages, cleaning up, washing animals, and many other uses. These are also ways to take care of your own pets repurposing towels you otherwise wouldn't have a use for. If animal shelters aren’t your cause, ask other nonprofit groups or churches. There are many ways for them to use towels, such as rags for car wash fundraisers.
A: Twist towel strips into a toy if you have pets that like to chew. Build animal bedding to give your pet something to rest on. Use towels as a reusable way to line cages. Hold and dry pets with a towel after giving them a bath. Donate towels to animal shelters if you no longer need them.

Q: There are a couple of different ways to write and deliver jokes including the traditional set up and punchline, one-liners, or short stories.   One liners can be an extremely effective format. Comedian BJ Novak made the simple and effective, if tasteless, one-liner: “Battered women: sounds delicious.” Novak's joke plays on two elements you can incorporate into your material: surprise and twisting word meanings. It's also a traditional set up and punchline type of joke. Jokes as a short story are another effective method. However, remember to keep them short! A good example of a joke wrapped in a short story is: “There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.” Every joke, no matter what structure you use, has a set up and a punchline. The set up and punchline will sometimes contain elements of surprise based on assumptions, twisting words, or playing on ironies.   Remember "less is more." As you prepare your set up and punchline, remember that you will want to tell your joke in as few words as possible. Avoid unnecessary details and phrases. BJ Novak's joke “Battered women: sounds delicious” and the joke “What did the cake say to the knife? You wanna piece of me?” are examples of jokes that demonstrate the “less is more” strategy. Any other details would have caused the jokes to fall flat.  Your set up should be one or two lines, or a few lines for a story. It prepares your audience by creating an expectation and giving them the details they need to understand the punchline. The joke about the dead cactus is a good example of this. The comedian sets up the joke with the lines “I bought a cactus. A week later it died.”  The punchline is the “funny” part of your joke that will make people laugh. It builds on the set up and is only one word or one sentence. It often reveals the surprise, irony, or word play to your audience. Again, the dead cactus joke is a good example of a short and funny punchline. After setting up the audience with the details of his plant cactus, the comedian tells us: And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.” .” Elements such as familiarity, exaggeration, and irony will enhance your joke. A good example of exaggeration and irony is the story about the young man with great aspirations. Most listeners will expect that he fulfilled his wish to write “stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" through novels or short stories. Instead, the surprise is that “He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.” Tags and toppers are additional punchlines that build upon your first punchline. You can use tags and toppers as a way to get extra laughs without writing a new joke or needing to set up any material. For example, you could add a topper to the short story by saying “In fact, he's the one screaming, crying, wailing, and howling in pain the most.” Before you tell your joke to friends or any audience, practice delivering it. You'll need to find the joke funny for your audience to feel the same! If you don't find the joke funny or somehow off, revise it until it works for you.
A:
Consider your joke structure. Write the set up and punchline. Heighten the joke's surprise factor. Add tags or toppers. Practice your joke.