Write an article based on this "Say that you're sorry. Listen to what your child has to say. Explain to them how things will be different. Get help. Take it slowly."
In order to begin healing, the first thing you will need to do is apologize. This apology shouldn't be a simple, “I'm sorry.” Rather, you need to sit down with your child and explain to them exactly what you're sorry for. Don't expect this to be an easy conversation, because it won't be. It's important that you set your ego aside for this conversation.   Remember that, if you have been a toxic parent, it is your fault. Yes, your child might have done a lot of things to push you to the edge, but that doesn't excuse your behavior. Thus, you should avoid saying things like, “I'm really sorry for the things I said to you, but you just made it impossible for me to stay sane.” Even if you feel like your behavior was justified in some cases, you won't heal your relationship with your child by placing the blame on them. Don't expect your child to just forgive you. This might happen, but if it doesn't happen right away then you have to respect that they need time to process what you've said. Be prepared for the fact that they might never be able to forgive you, especially if you don't take steps to work on your behavior. If your child is willing to talk with you, they may have a lot to say, and a lot of it may be very painful for you to hear. However, it is important that you allow them to get it all off their chest, and to show them that you are listening. When they are talking, do your best not to interrupt. It will be tempting to justify your behavior or disagree with something they are saying, but if you want to repair your relationship, you have to try and understand where they are coming from, even if it is painful for you. Tell your child what you are doing to change. For example, if you are working with a counselor to learn how to react differently, tell them this. Your child needs to understand exactly how and why things will be different. For example, you can say, “I know that I've made a lot of mistakes, and I don't always know why I did those things. I decided to go to a counselor to learn how to be better for you.” Now that your child knows what to expect, it's extremely important that you stick to what you said. If you do something that deviates from what you said, immediately change your behavior and acknowledge that you messed up. It is difficult to change, but when you learn to catch your behavior, you are on the right path. If you and your child are really struggling to get back on track, but you both are willing to work at it, it may be helpful to go to counseling together. Having a trained and objective person to help guide both of you down the path to rebuilding your relationship together can be really helpful. Especially if you are struggling to understand why you do the things you do.  If there have been really traumatic experiences in your past relationship with your child, it will likely be very difficult to deal with those issues without the help of a therapist. Don't force your child to go to counseling if they say they aren't interested or don't want to. Effective therapy often requires a willingness to engage in the process. If one person is not interested, it's unlikely that it will be helpful. If you are trying to repair your relationship with your child after years of toxic parenting, remember that it won't be easy at all. It will be painful for both of you, and at times, one or both of you might feel like giving up.  When you are struggling, remind yourself that it takes a lot of courage to admit you were wrong. It also takes a tremendous amount of self-awareness to reflect on your own bad behavior and become aware of the sources of your toxic parenting. If your child is willing, try to take small steps towards having a more positive relationship with each other. For example, don't spend all your time together re-hashing the past. Instead, try to do something fun together. For example, take them to a movie of their choice, make them their favorite meal, or go mini-golfing.