INPUT ARTICLE: Article: Sprinkle an even layer of baking soda over the bottom of the cookie sheet, tray, or other stainless steel bakeware.  The larger the surface, the more baking soda you’ll need.  Then, add some vinegar to the pan.  Again, the amount of vinegar you add should be proportional to the surface area of the stainless steel bakeware.  Start with ¼ cup of vinegar.  If that isn’t enough to evenly coat the bottom of the tray, add more in one-tablespoon increments.  When you mix the vinegar and baking soda, you’ll notice them fizzing.  This is normal and not cause for concern. Wait two to three minutes for the mixture to work its way into the stain. Boil a small pot of water on the stove.  While it’s boiling, dump the vinegar and baking soda mix out of the bakeware and rinse the tray off.  Place the tray in the sink face-up and slowly pour the boiling water over it.  Don’t pour the boiling water too rapidly or you risk splashing it onto your skin. Wait a few minutes for the hot water to cool, then start scrubbing with soap and water to loosen up as much of the stain as you can.  Use vigorous circular motions with the sponge or scrubbing pad to loosen the grime. If you can remove the stain completely at this point, great!  If not, continue on to the next step. Prepare a mixture of one part vinegar to three parts water.  For instance, you could mix one cup of vinegar and three cups of water.  Or, for more shallow trays, you might mix half a cup of vinegar with 1½ cups of water.  Bring the mixture to a boil in your bakeware.  If you have a deep pot, this is easy to do on the stovetop.  However, if you’re cleaning a shallow bakeware item like a tray or cookie sheet, you’ll need to add a thin layer of this mixture and heat it in the oven to about 212 degrees Fahrenheit (100 degrees Celsius) inside your oven. Once the mixture is boiling, turn off the heat.  Let it cool for 10-15 minutes.  Then dump the mixture down your sink and give the stainless steel bakeware a good scrubbing with soap and water.  Any stains should come right out. If your stainless steel bakeware is still stained after using the vinegar and water mix, mix baking soda and water in equal parts.  For instance, you could mix ½ a cup of water and ½ a cup of baking soda.  The mixture should resemble a thick paste.  Coat the stains on your stainless steel bakeware with this paste and let it sit for about 15 minutes.  Then, rub the paste away with a sponge and give the bakeware a good washing with hot, soapy water.  Some people find that scrubbing the baking soda paste away with aluminum foil helps remove the stain.  You could also soak a sponge in vinegar to help you remove stains treated with the baking soda paste.  Use this vinegar-soaked sponge to scrub away the paste or after you’ve washed the pan with soapy water. This method is also effective when cleaning cast iron bakeware.  However, it is recommended that you let the paste coat the stain on cast iron for closer to eight hours rather than just 15 minutes.

SUMMARY: Apply vinegar and baking soda. Pour hot water over the pan. Heat water and vinegar in the bakeware. Use baking soda and water.


INPUT ARTICLE: Article: While there is no doubt that the best witty comebacks are original witty comebacks, you can get plenty of good ideas by studying some of history’s most famous wits and witticisms. Spend some time amassing a collection of effective comebacks. Eventually, as your skills develop, you’ll be better able to create comebacks “off the cuff.”  Have a look at the masters of quick-witted comebacks, such as Dorothy Parker, Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, Mae West, George Bernard Shaw, Groucho Marx, Oscar Wilde, Margaret Thatcher, and so forth.  Read the witty exchanges between such people as Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner, or George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill. Even the exchanges between Han and Leia in Star Wars will do it. Here is a handy example from one of the best sources, Groucho Marx: "I've had a great evening, but this wasn't it." There are countless witty comebacks available for the avid internet surfer. Indeed, there are websites dedicated specifically to comebacks, providing example after example (some good, some not so good). Keep a list of your favorites and learn them by heart. At the very least, they may come in handy when all other words fail you! Here are just a few:  "Thank you for proving my point." "Light travels faster than sound; that's why you appeared bright until you spoke." Lean against something, close your eyes and wait a few seconds, then suddenly open your eyes and say "Oh! Sorry! Were you saying anything important just then? I must have dozed off". "You and I have so much in common at times, don't we?" Use this for an insult about your weight, appearance, intelligence, etc. "Pardon? Sorry I didn't quite catch that. Would you care to repeat it?" (An insult is never as effective the second time around.) "Takes one to know one." This one might seem “played out” by now, but it can still be used in a pinch when you're out of ideas. If someone is repeating the same insult over and over, use this: "Still clinging to the same idea? Try something more... original." Then do a little smile and walk away. A witticism that hits the mark in one situation can miss badly in another. Read and collect comebacks that are more potentially insulting or hurtful, but don’t assume that they’re right to use on just any person in any semi-relevant situation.  For instance: "Next time you speak, use actual words" can be pretty innocuous in many situations, but may also be more hurtful to some people. A witty comeback should have some “bite,” but it shouldn’t leave a lasting mark. Or: "I won't waste my breath burning you; I might not even waste my breath if you were actually burning." This one might work with someone who knows you well, but could also get you in hot water. Even vague jokes about violence are not taken lightly by many. Sometimes there isn't even a need for a witty comeback. If a person persists in saying something ridiculous, insulting, thoughtless, or groundless, let them do all the talking and simply use a dismissive gesture to express your distaste or deflection. Other people will likely see that the person unable to control their temper, needling, or whining is not in need of a witty retort.  Practice raising an eyebrow, smirking, rolling your eyes, or using some other gesture that displays a lack of being impressed.  Yawn and look at your watch hungrily. Admittedly, this one’s a bit on the childish side: repeat exactly what has been said, but in a funny voice. To avoid coming off like a cranky kindergartener, you might want to practice with a willing friend.

SUMMARY:
Learn from the masters. Find witticisms online. Keep context in mind as you collect witty examples. Allow the other side's words and actions to speak for themselves.