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Deep breathing can help reduce your stress, and focusing on your breathing can help calm racing thoughts. Start by taking deep breaths and concentrate on your inhales and exhales. Feel your abdomen expanding and breath entering your lungs. Concentrate on the sensations as the air is pushed out of your body as you exhale. Do some breathing exercises. This can help calm you and distract your mind. As you inhale, count slowly to five. Hold the breath for a count of five. Then slowly exhale as you could to five. Do this five to 10 times. . Progressive muscle relaxation is an effective way to calm your body and your mind. To do this exercise, you will need to find a quiet comfortable place to lie down, such as in your bed. Then, you will tense and release each of your muscle groups moving from your toes to the top of your head.  Start by tightening the muscles in your toes, such as by clenching your toes. Hold this for about 15 to 30 seconds and then release. Relax for about 15 to 30 seconds before moving on to the next muscle group. Keep tensing and releasing your muscles until you reach the top of your head. By the time you finish, you should feel more relaxed. Your thoughts may be racing because your mind is excited and hasn’t relaxed or started winding down yet. If your body is stressed or tense, this may cause your mind to stay active. To help your mind and body start winding down at night, do something boring or mundane. This helps keep your mind from getting overexcited.  The boring task will vary from person to person. You may try going for a slow, quiet walk, reading a newspaper or nonfiction book, doing math problems, rearranging your shelves, or watching a documentary. The task that you do shouldn’t excite the mind or the body. Choose a task that relaxes you and helps your brain shut off. Half an hour before you want to lay down, shut down all your electronics, including a television. Turn off the lights or turn them very low. This helps your body start producing melatonin, which promotes sleep. Listen to soothing music, read, or lay in bed relaxing your body. Promoting a healthy sleep environment may help you fall asleep faster, which reduces the risk of racing thoughts. Put your cell phone, tablet, and computer away. Resist the impulse to check your e-mail once more, play a game, or check social media. These things excite your mind and keep you keyed up, which may keep you from falling asleep. A way you can distract your racing thoughts is to play some kind of white noise in the background. This is a smooth, repetitive sound that can lull your brain into a sense of calm. You focus on the noise instead of the thoughts.  For example, you may want to put on a fan, the dishwasher, or the dryer. You can find apps or sound clips on the internet of white noise, such as ocean waves, rain drops, or crickets chirping. The white noise should be soothing enough that you can focus on it. Make sure it’s not too loud to keep you awake. Body awareness can help you distract yourself from racing thoughts. When you focus on your body using your senses, this helps give your brain something to think about instead of your worries or stress. Close your eyes and try to use the five senses to get a sense of how your body is feeling. Think about what you hear and smell. Open your eyes and focus on what you see around you. Decide if you taste anything. Focus on how your body feels. Are you cold? Sore? Think about how the clothing and blankets feel on your skin.

summary: Focus on your breath. Perform progressive muscle relaxation Perform boring tasks in the evening. Shut off the lights and electronics. Play white noise in the background. Focus on your senses.


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Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F (204 C). Season your steak with any kind of seasoning you like. If you want to keep it simple, just use coarse salt and pepper. Don't be afraid to coat both sides of your steak with the seasoning since this will give it flavor and help it brown. You should be able to see seasoning on the steak. You could also use:  Cajun seasoning Chimichurri Teriyaki Montreal steak seasoning Place a heavy-bottomed skillet (preferably a cast-iron skillet) over high heat. Add a few tablespoons of coconut oil, grapeseed oil, or vegetable oil in the pan to heat. You want the pan to get really hot so the steak sizzles immediately and begins to brown. Coconut, grapeseed, and vegetable oils all have high-smoke points so they won't burn as your pan heats up. Avoid pan-frying a steak in butter or olive oil which will burn. Place the steak in your hot oiled skillet and let it cook for 1 to 3 minutes. Carefully turn the steak and sear the other side for another 1 to 3 minutes. The steak should be a dark golden brown color on the sides. It will still be mostly raw inside, but you'll finish the steak in the oven for even cooking. You can turn the steaks frequently while they're searing so they sear evenly and brown faster. Place the entire skillet with the seared steak into the preheated oven. Cook the steak for 6 to 8 minutes or until the steak reaches the level of doneness you'd like. If you check the temperature, the steak should be between 145 degrees F (62 C) for medium-rare and 175 F (79 C) for well-done. Transfer the steak to a plate and let it rest a few minutes before you serve it.  Letting the steak rest helps the juices in the meat distribute evenly. Ensure your skillet is ovenproof before placing it in the oven. Even if it says it's ovenproof, check to see if it can be used in a 400 degree F oven.

summary: Turn on the oven and season your steak. Heat a skillet. Sear both sides of the steak. Finish cooking the steak in the oven.


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Don’t look for a boyfriend or a relationship to make you feel wanted or valued—it’s a recipe for disaster. The more confident you are in yourself, the more compelling you’ll be to your boyfriend and to other people in general. Humans are quite good at sensing when people are insecure or inauthentic, and it tends to be a universal detractor. It will inevitably leave you unsatisfied because no one else can truly make you feel valued—that’s something only you can do. If you place a significant amount of your self-worth in a relationship, you’re entrusting your value to something that isn’t about you—relationships are about two people learning to be, yes, in a relationship with each other. It not only doesn’t make sense to see a relationship as a reflection of your own worth, it will ultimately backfire and leave you irrationally dependent on another person for your sense of self. Though he can and hopefully will provide supplemental love and support, he can’t—and shouldn’t—carry the weight of all your physical and emotional needs.  Set aside time to physically take care of yourself, whether that means taking a bath, going to the gym, learning self-defense, playing with your dog, playing a sport, etc. When you’re physically well, you’ll be more naturally confident and independent, a highly attractive attribute in anyone, and particularly in a partner. Make time to emotionally take care of yourself. Check in with yourself and how you’re feeling, independent of your boyfriend. If you’re not maintaining your own emotional health, it will very quickly begin to negatively impact your relationship.
summary: Be confident in yourself. Place value in yourself rather than purely in the relationship. Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally—don’t rely on your boyfriend to do it.