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If you suspect that your friend is using drugs, even in small doses, it’s important that someone intervenes early. This can prevent things from getting worse and turning into a full addiction. If she is already addicted, then she already needs even more extensive help. Before having a discussion with your friend, it’s a good idea to write down all of the problems that are associated with her drug use. Creating this list allows you to be able to stay focused during the conversation. However, be sure to keep the list as concrete as possible. For example, it’s better to write down, “You damaged the car when you were driving under the influence” than it is to write, “You’re so irresponsible when you’re high.” Make sure that the place that you select is free of distractions and will respect her privacy. Inviting them to eat out at a quiet restaurant is probably better than trying to have the discussion in the middle of a party. Also, you may want to try to talk to their in a place other than her home so that they cannot engage in distracting activities in an effort to avoid the conversation.  Only begin the conversation when your friend is sober. If you try to talk to them when they are under the influence,  will not be able to have a coherent conversation. Your friend may become defensive when you first approach them about your concerns. Avoid accusations or arguments. Stick to the facts and remind yourself to stay calm. If they tries to shift the conversation to you, you can respond by saying something like, “I know that you don’t agree with everything that I do and I will be happy to talk about those things with you later. Right now though, I’m really concerned about your safety.” Of course, this is much easier said than done, however having this conversation is very important. Be sure to bring up the topic in a nonjudgmental way. Always begin the conversation by letting your friend know that you are concerned about them. You want them to know that you are genuinely concerned for their well-being. Use statements that are respectful but also clearly communicate your concern.  For example, you could say, “Alex, I’m here right now because I’m worried about you.” You might also say “Charlie, I’m concerned that you’re smoking marijuana. You’re important to me and I’m concerned about the impact that your smoking is having on your life…” Avoid critical and judgmental statements like “I’m so disgusted with you, Alex.” Focus on concrete and nonjudgmental statements that reflect your experiences with her behavior. Don’t discuss what other people may feel or have said because that is often unproductive. Also, avoid making generalizations such as “Everyone thinks that you have a problem.” Stick to the facts as you have experienced them.  Use statements that your friend cannot dispute. For example, you might say, “You left the party with two people that you did not know yesterday. I am very concerned for your safety.” Always distinguish between your friend as a person and their behavior. Focus on what behaviors your friend is engaging in and not on her as a person. Avoid statements like, “You’re so irresponsible” or “You’re such a bad influence for your children.” Emphasize the difference between their sober behavior and behavior that occurs when they are not sober. For example, you could say “You are always so adventurous and I love that about you. But when you use drugs, you often do very risky and dangerous things.” Your friend may not see drugs as a bad thing, so sharing scientific information may help open their eyes. Once your friend is aware of how much drugs affect their brain, body, life, and relationships, they may be more inclined to stop using on their own.  You should do research on drugs before talking to your friend so that you have the scientific information available during the conversation. Do not accuse or berate your friend. Just share the information in a respectful way. For example, you could say, “Did you know that mollies can cause you to have a seizure? It can also cause your heart to beat abnormally.” Advise them to talk to a professional or give them some literature to read. Let them know that you’d be willing to go with them to an appointment or you can volunteer to accompany them to visit treatment facilities. If your friend knows that she has your support, she may be more open to treatment.  Even if your friend is reluctant to seek treatment, you can still research treatment options for her. If you find a treatment facility that appeals to her, she may be more likely to consider treatment.  Confide in a trusted adult if your friend is not an adult and she continues to abuse drugs. Keep in mind that your friend may be angry with you or even feel betrayed by you for a while. However, getting an adult involved is the best way to help her. Eventually she will come back around and understand that you had her best interest at heart. Remind yourself that an addiction is a disease of the brain that usually requires treatment for the person to heal. Just like your friend would need to see a doctor if she was suffering from a physical disease, she will need a professional to help her heal from an addiction.  Viewing an addiction as a disease that needs treatment may motivate you to seek help from a trusted adult. Knowing exactly how to offer support her can be a little tricky because your friend may not want to hear what you have to say. The drugs are likely impacting her mind and she may have fallen in with a rough circle of friends. However, here are some ways that you can support your friend:  Listen to your friend. If she confides in you, be sure to listen in a nonjudgmental way. It’s probably hard for your friend to open up about her drug use. If your fiend is a teenager, encourage your friend to get help from a trusted adult such as a parent, teacher, relative, counselor, clergyman, or coach. When she is ready, help her to find a support group or a substance abuse counselor in the local area.
Pay attention to your suspicions. Prepare a list of problems that the drug use is causing. Select a private place to talk. Tell your friend that you are concerned about their drug use. Identify the negative consequences. Give your friend information. Encourage your friend to seek treatment. Offer support for your friend.