While you may feel like you put in a lot of effort to this relationship-- including caretaking roles-- it’s likely you’ve also gained from this relationship. If you did not find some fulfillment in the relationship, you probably would have ended the relationship much sooner. Consider how this relationship has served you and why it no longer serves you. For example, you may have felt like you had a sense of purpose by taking care of someone who was an alcoholic or that had a major medical condition. You may love the feeling of “being needed” or being in control. People in codependent relationships tend to have a fear of abandonment. This can be one reason they choose a helping role in a relationship: taking care of someone and having someone depend on them means this person won’t likely abandon them. If you have a fear of people leaving you, see a therapist. Therapy can help you work through feelings of abandonment, explore ways to care for yourself, and trust others. Often, abandonment issues start in childhood or with a traumatic event. It’s beneficial to work through these issues in order to help you free yourself from the fear of abandonment. Chances are, you find at least part of your self-worth in caretaking. Instead of relying on helping others to validate you, learn to validate yourself without needing others to validate you. You may feel as if you need others to tell you how important you are, but you can do this on your own. As you think about ending the codependent relationship, reflect on where you derive your sense of self-worth. How do you perceive yourself?  What are your own thoughts about who you are and what you deserve? Do other people seem more able to attain success or happiness than you? You may be so caught up in meeting someone else’s needs that you neglect your own needs. While it may feel like the person depends on you, recognize what is within your own responsibility. It’s likely that by devoting your time, attention, and resources on this person, you’ve neglected taking care of yourself. You may feel like you have no idea who you are outside of taking care of this person, or that your full identity is taking care of someone. Start to regain a sense of what your own needs are. For instance, do you need alone time to recharge after a stressful day? What do you do to cope with stress? Have you neglected your nutritional or exercise needs? What about sleep?
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One-sentence summary -- Think about what the relationship fulfilled for you. Work through feelings of abandonment. Validate your own self-worth. Meet your own needs.


It will be easier to take down individual opponents if you’re rushing them with a partner. Similarly, it will be harder to sneak up on you if you’ve got a teammate watching your back. Before the game starts, split your team up into smaller pairs. When occupying a position, have one player cover one direction and another player cover the opposite side to stay safe while playing. You can split up into teams of 3-4 if you prefer. It will be harder to move around without making a lot of noise or getting noticed at that point though. When a teammate is moving across the map, they’re going to be an open target for the enemy team. Help keep them safe by firing repeatedly at the enemy—even if you think you’re going to miss. This will make the opponent less likely to take risks, and they’re going to be less accurate while they’re aiming at your friend. Ask your teammates to lay down covering fire for you when you’re moving! If the enemy is held up in a safe location on the map, it may be hard to just sneak your way in there and take them down. Instead, carry out a coordinated attack by spreading your team out and attacking quickly from multiple sides. Be willing to give up a few players to shake the enemy loose from their spot and take the position for yourself. Be careful when using this strategy. If it goes poorly, you’ll end up giving up a lot of points. When your team is holding a position down, identify a nearby escape route that you can take in case you get rushed. Try to avoid taking up positions that are corners or tight areas where you won’t be able to escape if you get sieged or rushed. In general, positions with multiple exits are better spots to hold down anyway, since your team will be able to cover multiple paths and take down the individual players that walk by.
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One-sentence summary -- Work in pairs to make you harder to pick off. Cover for your teammates by laying down covering fire. Blitz a position as a team to take occupied ground. Keep a nearby exit open in case you get rushed.


If you're using a gas grill, turn the burners to high. If you're using a charcoal grill, fill a chimney with briquettes and light them. Dump the briquettes onto the grill once they're hot and lightly covered with ash. If you'd like your salmon to have a smoked flavor, add a handful of soaked woodchips to the grill. Take a paper towel and pat each side of the salmon with it to remove moisture. Pour 1 tablespoon (15 ml) of olive oil into a small dish and dip a pastry brush into it. Brush each side of the salmon with the oil.  If you don't have olive oil, use vegetable, canola, or coconut oil, since these can withstand the high heat of the grill. The oil will prevent the salmon from sticking to the grill grate. Insert an instant-read thermometer into the thickest part of a salmon fillet. You can transfer the fish to a serving platter once the fish reaches 145 °F (63 °C) and let it rest a few minutes while you get side dishes ready. Store leftover grilled salmon in an airtight container in the refrigerator for up to 3 to 4 days.
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One-sentence summary --
Heat a gas or charcoal grill to high. Pat the salmon dry and brush it with olive oil. Remove the salmon once it reaches 145 °F (63 °C) and rest it for 3 minutes.