There is no one way to process grief. Lots of people struggle, thinking they should be feeling some particular way that they're not feeling. This can cause a lot of guilt, making things worse. If you're not sure how to act, try not to worry about it as much. Do what feels natural.  Death is an inevitable part of life. Dealing with loss is never fun, but it doesn't have to be the somber affair that many make it out to be. Find time to laugh in the face of death, if it's possible. Find the humor in a bleak situation.  Grief has 5 stages, but keep in mind that this process can look very different for everyone. Having a people around you can help bring your overall mood up, even if you're not doing anything in particular. Talk about what you're going through, or talk about other things that are on your mind.  Share memories of the person you've lost. Talk about the good times and share stories. Look at old pictures. Reminisce. Sometimes it's better to avoid talking about the person or pet who died too much. It can be a good way to feel better for a while, but it can also just make it more depressing. Also take the time to talk sports, or movies, or anything else that comes up. You may need time to yourself. It's great to stay social, to reminisce, and to go through the process. But it'll be different for everyone. Try to find a personal and particular way to grieve for the person you lost. Think of the relationship you had with this person. What did you share? How can you commemorate that relationship? What could you do that would make you feel better? Let grief make you busy, and let your business make you happier. Spend your time focusing on an obsession or an interest. Get busy being productive, and let your grief turn into productivity.  If you love sports, practice your sport several times a week. Sweat out your grief. If you love fashion and beauty, start a blog and write about clothing or products. Explore new ways of enjoying your passion. If you enjoy playing instruments, learn a new song, or pick up a new technique that you've been meaning to practice. If you love learning and school, educate yourself further by devoting your time to your studies or watch the news. Head to the library. Just being around people can be instructive while you're grieving. Go to public places as much as you can. Instead of making coffee at home, grab a cup at a local spot. Instead of reading the paper at home, read it at the library. Go to a movie instead of staying in and watching TV. It gives you perspective to notice that everyone is able to just go about their day, even though someone you love has died. Life goes on and the world keeps spinning, even without that person.
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One-sentence summary -- Don't worry about doing it the "right" way. Surround yourself with people who care about you. Find your own way to grieve. Get invested in something you love. Get out of the house regularly.


Place the vegetable oil in a medium saucepan and put it over medium heat. Sauté them in the pan until they become tender. Simmer the mixture for about 20 minutes so the flavors can meld. Put it in a blender and process until completely smooth. Pour it in last and blend it with the sauce. If you're using a food processor, add the vinegar while it's still running. Place it in a lidded glass jar. It will keep in the refrigerator for several months.
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One-sentence summary --
Heat the oil. Add the jalapeños and onions. Add the salt and water. Blend the mixture. Add the vinegar. Store the sauce. Finished.