Summarize the following:
Extroverts may tend to approach conflict through confrontation and problem-solving while introverts tend to shy away from conflicts. In turn, introverts may feel harassed or nagged while the extrovert may feel like he or she is being stonewalled. If you are an introvert, be willing to engage in conflict with your partner, and realize that your partner likely wants to find a resolution, not argue.  If your partner is quick to discuss issues and it irritates you, ask your partner to thoughtfully consider the issue before immediately bringing it up. Some things are better left unsaid or can be worked out on their own. Likewise, if you’re both extroverted, don’t bring every little thing to the surface. Count to ten or ask yourself some questions before going to your partner, such as, “Will this help improve our relationship?” In addition to understanding your conflict styles, be honest about what conflicts are like for you. If you’re an introvert, let your partner know what sets you off or shuts you down. You can encourage your extroverted partner to give you a nudge to open up or respond back.  If you’re introverted, say, “I tend to shut down when you are upset. I know that doesn’t help us solve our problems, so please gently invite me to engage the situation, even if I seem mad and upset.” If you are both extroverted, you may want to approach conflicts when you are each calm and settled. Don’t let anger flare up and don’t jump into discussions that could be better if you slowed down. If both partners are unwilling to compromise and continue to butt heads, this may be a relationship issue. For example, an introvert may retreat as a way to avoid problems in the relationship while the extrovert may spend more time with friends to avoid problems. If you’ve tried to find compromises but your partner won’t budge, consider the longevity of your relationship and how the changes you want will affect it. Talk to your partner about your efforts and how you feel about not finding compromises. Say, “It’s important that we find some degree of resolution about our differences, and I want us to treat each other with respect.” If the problems continue to come up despite your best efforts, it may be time to see a therapist. A therapist can help you work through problems and see things more clearly from your partner’s perspective. You may learn new ways to approach or interact with your partner or try new things to understand your partner’s needs better. Seeing a therapist doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed or that you should be ashamed that you are struggling. It’s brave to ask for help and take steps to improve your relationship.
Recognize conflict styles. Talk about how you handle conflict. Consider if you have a relationship issue. Talk to a therapist.