One way to prepare yourself for talking to girls is to remember that it’s likely that the girls are just as scared about talking to you as you are about talking to them. They may look like they have it all figured out and may act like they’re not shy or nervous whatsoever, but on the inside, many girls are nervous about talking to boys, too. If you’re more aware of the fact that every girl or guy is shy about talking to people to some extent, then you’ll be less self-conscious about talking to girls.  While you’re worried about coming up with something to say next or wondering how you came off after your last comment, it’s likely that the girl you’re talking to is wondering the same thing about herself. Instead of being so worried about sounding smart, funny, or interesting, work on making the girl you’re talking to feel comfortable. It’s likely that she has the same worries as you do, and if you focus on making her comfortable, then you won’t be so worried about yourself. Sure, talking to the cute girl in your grade may seem completely different than chatting it up with your best friend, but if you stop being so worried about everything being perfect, you’ll see that it’s really not so different. You’ll have to come up with things to talk about, making the other person laugh, talk about something interesting you did over the weekend, and so on. Once you relax and stop trying to sound so impressive, you’ll be able to fall into a natural pace of conversation, just as you would with a close friend.  Okay, so you and your best friends may have some inside jokes or a funny way of talking that may confuse a new girl you talk to. However, you can still talk about some of the same things and take a similar approach, working on having an interesting conversation instead of worrying about not having anything to talk about. Remember that, even when you talk to one of your friends, you may run out of things to talk about or repeat yourself or stumble on your words from time to time. It’s no big deal if that happens when you’re talking to a girl, either. Guys who are shy about talking to girls tend to romanticize the situation and think that, when they talk to a cute girl, they have to say something absolutely perfect or astonishing to win her over, and then the two of you can walk off into the sunset together. In reality, if you tell the girl you like her shirt or talk about the Drake concert you just went to, you’ll be perfectly fine. Instead of searching for the perfect turn of phrase, just work on saying something to keep the conversation going. If you’re too hung up on every word you say, then you’ll be much more likely to lapse into silence or to stumble on your words. Just keep talking and don’t overthink it and you’ll be much more impressive than if you say almost nothing for five minutes and then tell the perfect joke. If you want to feel less shy about talking to girls, then one thing you can do is to come up with some ideas for things you could talk about in advance in case you run out of conversational material. In the moment, you may be too busy being in awe of the girl’s cuteness to come up with anything to say. So, make a quick mental list of just three or four things you could say to her before you start talking. This will make you feel more confident when you go into the conversation, even if it flows so naturally that you don’t end up saying them.  You can talk about what you did over the weekend, an awesome movie you both saw, your favorite band, what she did over the summer, or a class you both have together. You can also talk about a mutual friend, your plans for the evening, or something you just saw on the news. Remember that it takes two people to have a conversation. Even if you can’t think of another topic, the girl can think of things, too. You’re not doing a comedy routine. As corny as it sounds, if you really want to get to know a girl, then you don’t need to try to impress her with a suave version of who you really are. Sure, you can act a bit more polite and polished and make more of an effort to really capture her attention, but you shouldn’t go too far outside your comfort zone unless you plan on keeping the act up forever. While you may not be as goofy as you are with your close friends right away, you don’t need to put up a fake persona of the guy you think the girl would rather talk to. If she’s standing in front of you having a conversation with you, then she wants to see and know who you really are. If you try too hard to impress the girl you’re talking to, then it’ll show. You may want to talk about how awesome you are at soccer or to tell her all about your plans to be a doctor, but this kind of talk can actually turn some girls away. While you can talk about the things you love, there’s no need to brag. And even if you know how to juggle or do a backflip, this can come up naturally somehow, but you don’t need to show the girl how talented you are right on the spot.  If you really are skilled or talented in some way, the girl will realize it if you spend enough time together. In the beginning, though, you can let her figure it out instead of talking about how great you are. Girls like guys who project confidence, but not arrogance. You want to show that you’re happy with who you are without acting like you’re the greatest guy on the planet. You may be feeling nervous right before you talk to a girl, and that’s perfectly natural. There are many things you can do to calm down and to feel better before you even open your mouth. A few simple tricks can make your next conversation with a girl feel more natural and less scary. Here are some things you can do:  Count to thirty in your head before you approach the girl. This can help you feel more at ease. Focus on your breathing. Work on breathing in through your mouth and out through your nose ten times, and you’ll start to feel more relaxed. If you have a stress ball or something you can squeeze in your pocket, this can help you ease some of the tension. This can also help you avoid fidgeting and will make you look less nervous. Make eye contact with the girl. If you look at the floor or look around you, this may actually end up making you look and feel more nervous.

Summary: Tell yourself that many girls are also shy around boys. Just pretend that you’re talking to one of your friends. Don’t worry about saying the perfect thing. Come up with a few topics in advance so you feel less nervous. Know that in the end, all you can do is be yourself. Don’t try too hard to impress them. Work to ease your nervousness.


Raise your right foot completely off of the floor. Step directly to the side, dipping your right shoulder 6–12 inches (15–30 cm) as your foot lands.If your partner is facing you, they’ll start with their left foot.
Summary: Lift your right foot and step 1–2 feet (0.30–0.61 m) to your right on the 1 count.