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When someone close to you is dealing with a bad situation after a breakup, it can be difficult for everyone involved, including you. You may wonder how you can make the situation easier, what you should do, or what you should say. You can cope with the situation and help them cope by offering a helping hand, a hug, or even just a smile.  Whether it is your parents divorcing, or a friend ending a long-term relationship, tell them that you care and want to be there for them. You could say, “I know this is a really tough time for you. I want you to know I care about you and want to be here for you. If you want to, we can just sit here.” Do little things that you know will be helpful like walking their dog, cooking a meal, or washing dishes. Whatever the bad situation, and no matter how much you want to make things better after the breakup, you have to set boundaries to the support you give. In order for you to cope with the situation, you’ve got to know what you can and can’t handle and you’ve got to express this.  Make a list of things that you are and aren’t okay doing to provide support. For example, you might write, “I can spend all day with my friend Saturday, but I can’t skip school to be there for her on Monday”. Tell the people involved what your limits are. For instance, you might tell your dad, “I’m okay with talking about the divorce and this whole situation, but not with badmouthing Mom or you.” Everyone heals in their own way and at their own pace. There is no right way or time limit for getting over a breakup. It may take the people involved, and you, varying amounts of time to work through this bad situation.  The best way to cope with a bad situation after the breakup of someone close to you is to be patient.  Be patient with the ex-couple. It may take one, or both, of them time to work through their feelings and move on from what happened. For example, if your mom cries at everything after your parents’ divorce, remind yourself, “I need to be patient. This divorce is hard for her and she needs time.” Be patient with yourself. Don’t try to get over the breakup in a hurry. You have feelings that you need to work through, as well. Tell yourself, “This breakup is a bad situation for me, too, but I can work through it if I’m patient with myself and give everyone time to heal.” You do have to deal with negative parts, but you should also look for and point out the positive things that can come from the breakup. Looking for the bright side will help you cope with this situation better and help everyone else cope with the breakup.  For example, you could remind your friend that now she can move to that part of town that she loves but her ex hated. Or you might tell your mom, “The divorce is hard on us all, but I’ve noticed it’s given you the freedom to spend more time on your painting.” One coping technique for any situation is doing things that improve your mood and make you feel happier. Cope with a bad situation after someone else breaks up by doing something fun to relieve some of your emotional and physical stress.  For instance, you could go for a game of putt-putt golf with your dad or visit an antique store with your mom. You could take your sister out for frozen yogurt after her breakup or catch a concert with your friend after their breakup. Don’t forget to do something fun just for you. Doing things you enjoy will help you cope with the bad situation, so go skating or catch the latest 3D movie.
Be there for the person. Set limits. Be patient. Focus on the positive. Do something fun.