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. If you are concerned about your immediate safety, do not hesitate to call for help. When you call in, make sure you clearly describe where you are and what is happening. If possible, remain as calm as you can, and try to explain the kind of help you need. The more details you can give, the more quickly the dispatcher will be able to send help. Do not hang up until the dispatcher tells you to. Your first step to stopping a stalker is to accept that you are being stalked. Stalking is not a minor problem or a small irritant. It can be dangerous, and should not be tolerated.  Stalkers can be either men or women, and anyone can be a victim. If you are at all concerned about your ex and what he or she might do, it is not a sign of weakness to accept that. Only when doing that will you be able to stop it. Don’t worry about overreacting. If you feel scared, worried, or angered about someone else’s behavior, you don’t need to tolerate it. If you are concerned, act quickly. Recognizing his behavior will only confirm his belief that it is working, and will encourage further stalking behavior. This means ignoring gifts, calls, and any attempts he makes to contact you. Do not return them or respond in any way. You cannot reason with a stalker. This person has already decided that he will follow you, no matter what you say. This kind of reaction will only encourage him to continue trying, or to try even harder, to stay in touch with you. If you think you are being stalked, let others know. Tell your friends, family members, or other people you trust. That way, they can help keep an eye out for your stalker, and call the police if they think something is wrong.  When you tell others, be careful not to demonize your stalker. You only need to let others know about him, not tell them how terrible he is. Unless something dangerous has already happened, demonizing him can only help to escalate the situation with others. In addition to your circle of friends, consider talking to a group like HAVEN, which can provide support, encouragement, and legal advice for someone facing a stalker or other abusive relationship. Note exactly what happened, along with when and where it took place. Keep a record of every phone call, including the ones you don’t answer, every text, every email, and every confrontation you have. If the situation escalates, and you need to take legal action, this will be important evidence to have available.  If you are concerned that your ex has access to your computer, or other means of manipulating an online list, consider writing these events down in a journal. This can be more permanent, and less susceptible to outside tampering.  Texts, emails, and phone calls are not evidence of stalking by themselves. While you can prove that the email came from your ex’s address, that doesn’t mean that he sent it. You should still hold on to these, as they can be helpful evidence when building a case for a restraining order. . A restraining order is a court order that prevents a stalker or other abuser from coming into contact with you. Go to your local courthouse and fill out a petition for a restraining order.  You will need to include an affidavit that explains what your stalker has been doing. This is where your record of his actions can be helpful. Since this is a legal document, you may want to consult a lawyer when filing the order. Of course, lawyers can be expensive, so you can also reach out to a domestic violence hotline, or other staff members in the courthouse about your options. Of course, a restraining order is only a legal document and not a guarantee. It can make it easier to arrest and prosecute, but won’t actually stop him from stalking you. You will still need to be alert and prepared to defend yourself. You never know if or when your stalker will put you in physical danger, so you need to be prepared. Self-defense involves keeping yourself alert and out of dangerous situations, but also being prepared to fight back if there is trouble.  Some self-defense techniques are as simple as staying alert when you walk around or having your car keys out and ready so you aren’t searching for them in the parking lot. Don't let your inattention be an opening for someone else. Look for self-defense classes offered in your area. You can probably find them through police departments or local schools. In addition,  basic training in some form of martial arts can give you the skills and confidence to defend yourself, at least long enough to escape to a safer place. If you haven’t learned new techniques, or aren’t comfortable using them, having something like pepper spray on you is a good back-up plan. Because she knows you so well, your ex will probably be able to keep track of you by visiting the same locations you do. While this is certainly annoying, you should consider modifying your favorite places and usual routes to prevent her from easily following you.  Look for things you can easily change, like places you shop and eat, or things like the gym you go to. Try to find different ways to get to your important locations, so your stalker can’t track you along the way. While you probably can’t change your school and work hours, it can never hurt to ask, especially if you are concerned for your safety. If you do need to make drastic changes to your schedule, keep paper records of the financial effect this has on you. This can be good evidence for legal proceedings, and can even be the basis for financial reimbursement if the changes are serious enough.
Call 911 if you think you are in danger Cut through your denial. Do not confront your stalker. Tell other people. Keep a record of stalking activities.  Get a restraining order Be prepared to defend yourself. Change your daily routine.