Look for a therapist who treats people who have problems similar to yours. Experienced therapists have seen the problems you are facing again and again, and will likely have a good idea about how to help you.  For instance, many specialize in areas such as depression, eating disorders, anxiety, and so on. Finding a good therapist comes down to a mixture of factors, such as ensuring that the professional has experience with treating your issue, finding out their unique therapy style, and going for an initial session. If you find that you and the person get along well, and you feel better after your sessions, you may have found the right therapist for you. Meet with a few therapists to get a feel for their different styles and personalities. Don’t be discouraged if your don’t find your perfect fit at first; it’s important to take the time to find someone who is a good match for your needs. Talk to your therapist about the techniques and methods that will be used in your sessions. Don’t be afraid to ask questions; even if you feel they are personal.  For example, if you are concerned about your therapist’s own life experience or beliefs concerning your treatment, you might say, “Are you religious? It’s important for me to talk to someone who believes in a higher power.” Although you may not receive a direct answer, you’ll receive an explanation as to why not, which may help you understand your therapist better and learn his or her boundaries.  Ask the therapist to explain any business policies that might affect your work together, such as fees for cancelling appointments or talking after hours. Know that there isn’t a set time for how long you may need therapy, or that there is a method that works the best for everyone. Realize that although you may think what the therapist asks of you won’t work, you should still give it a chance. You never know, you may be pleasantly surprised.  Be willing to go along with what the therapist suggests, even if it is outside of your comfort zone. Doing so may help you finally experience the breakthrough you’ve wanted.  Some therapists like to assign “homework” or work you do between sessions to advance your skills or understanding. Try to complete these assignments and take them seriously to see personal growth. Write down your feelings, fears, anxieties, frustrations, and whatever else is on your mind on that blank piece of paper. You’ll probably be surprised at how liberating it feels to get what is going on inside of you out into the open. Then, bring your journal to a session. You may find that reading your entries to your therapist helps get the conversation going easier.
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One-sentence summary -- Find the right therapist for you and your needs. Ask your therapist to thoroughly explain the process. Have an open mind. Let your thoughts flow by journaling about them first.


Figure out the points on which you both agree. Doing so helps maintain a sense of cooperation on the issue. It also helps you come to some sort of agreement. For example, you might tell your spouse, “We both want to move to an area where the kids can go to great schools. It seems like a low crime rate is most important to you, while diversity is most important to me. How about we look at quality schools in reasonably diverse neighborhoods that have low crime rates?” Close relationships often involve more collaboration than those between relative strangers. If you’re trying to reach a compromise with your partner, family member, friend or coworker with whom you’re on friendly terms, try the turn-taking approach.  For example, if you and your spouse can’t agree on which movie to watch, you might take turns and watch them both: one person’s preference goes first and the other person’s follows. If you and a coworker are trying to decide who’ll buy lunch, you might say, “I’ll get it this time, but you’ve got next.” If it’s equally important (or unimportant) as to who goes first, flip a coin. See the compromise like a gift swap. Basically, this method works with a “You give me this, and I give you that” mentality. Offer something of relatively equal or desirable value to the other person in exchange for what they give you.  For instance, if you and your roommate are arguing over who does which chore, you might both decide which is your least favorite chore (e.g., mopping, doing laundry, washing dishes). Then, swap: you do their least favorite chore and they do yours. Remember to be flexible in the exchange. Allow the other person to negotiate. Compromise, after all, often requires both parties to give something up or to consider the other's needs. You might have a suggestion as to how something could be done better, but the other person is resistant to jump on board. If this happens, suggest that they try it your way for a short trial. If they don’t like it, you can switch back at the end of the trial. Let’s say you read an article that suggests disciplining your children a certain way, but your spouse isn’t convinced. You might say, “How about we give it a try for two weeks? If it works, we’ll keep doing it. If it doesn’t, we’ll try your way. Okay?”
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One-sentence summary -- Find common ground. Take turns. Offer an exchange. Do a trial period.


Use pruning shears for thinner branches and a fine-toothed pruning saw for thicker ones. Leave about 3 to 5 shoots per branch.  Finish cutting on an outward-facing shoot. This way, the new branch will grow outward, not inward. Leave the outward-growing branches and prune off the inward-growing ones. This will help increase air and light circulation. Summertime is the best time to remove the suckers, but if your plant is producing a lot of them, you will need to repeat the process more often. Once in the late spring and once in the early fall is a good rule of thumb.  Use the same method as you did before to remove the suckers and water sprouts. Don't let these grow and develop. They'll just suck up the water and nutrients that could otherwise go to your tree. Once your tree enters its third year, it is well-established and doesn't need as much heavy pruning. A light prune in the late winter after all danger of frost has passed is all you need.  Keep up with the suckers and remove them as you see them. Cut the dead or diseased branches a few inches/centimeters below the diseased portion. The exposed wood should look healthy.
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One-sentence summary --
Cut the branches back by about a third. Remove suckers and water sprouts at least once per year. Remove dead or damaged branches starting from the third winter.