Problem: Article: If you want the child to believe the letter is really from Santa, you should address it to that child. Mention the child's age in the letter as well. Mention their name in the body of the letter at least twice in addition to addressing it to the specific child.  Thread details into the letter that show Santa knows the child. For example, you could praise something specific that the child did that year. You could thread references that are specific to your household also. For example, if your house doesn't have a chimney, you could explain that Santa can get in anyway. You could also reference a favorite pet, the child's interests, or something he or she did recently at school. You could mention family events or excursions to make the letter seem believable.You may want to mention the birth of Jesus, if you are religious. Use the letter to encourage the child to continue to be good. Explain specifically what the child did that deserved rewarding. Tell the child whether he or she made Santa's naughty or nice list (only mention it if they are on the nice list though).  Inform the child that if he or she continues to demonstrate similar positive behavior, the child will be rewarded at Christmas time. Focus on milestones and achievements from the past year (such as the child becoming potty trained or earning a Cub or Girl Scouts badge). This will encourage the child to demonstrate positive behavior throughout the rest of the year, also. You could ask the child to do something specific. Children take requests from Santa seriously, so here’s your chance.  Ask the child to leave cookies and milk and to not forget to give a carrot to Rudolph and the other reindeer. You could instruct the child to go to sleep early on Christmas Eve. Basically, close the letter with instructions. You can ask the child to perform specific tasks throughout the year too (whatever the child needs to work on), such as doing his or her homework on time or helping with the dishes. This cannot be emphasized enough! A letter from Santa is not the time to scold or discipline a child for misbehavior! Describe good qualities the child demonstrates, such as having a good sense of humor, smiling a lot, and caring about animals.  Use words that are positive. Even if your child has misbehaved in key ways, encourage him or her for the things that he or she has done right over the year. Children like to be told they are liked and loved, that they are interesting and special, that they make people smile, and that their company is appreciated.  Many websites have lists of affirming words that may have meaning to a child. They include “kind, respectful, willing to help, responsible, trustworthiness, gentle, and good.” Use warm, affirming words that indicate that the child is loved and appreciated. When writing a letter to your child, make sure to say the things you would expect to hear Santa say.  Stay jolly and merry. Talk about the reindeer or Mrs. Claus. Don't forget to Ho-Ho-Ho
Summary: Address the letter to the specific child. Create positive reinforcement. Ask the child to do something. Stay positive. Stay in character.

Problem: Article: It may fall on you to begin a savings plan for college expenses, the first car, and helping to find that first job. Be actively involved in working out what is needed for the child's future, talking to the mother first and then including the child where appropriate. Smoking, excessive drinking, and recreational drugs have no place in a home with children in it. This may not be the politically correct position, but from the effects of secondhand smoke on young lungs, to the acceptance of illegal drugs as a "norm", these are not good behaviors to model for children. If you have problems with addiction to substances, seek help. If you must smoke, always smoke outdoors, away from the child. Accept the unique qualities of each team member, the limitations, even the eccentricities.  There will be good times, even great times, but there will be conflict, disagreements, and letdowns. Patience, love, and a sympathetic view should help you through these challenges. You are the adult, no matter what the situation, you should remember that, and that problems may seem huge, but often will be forgotten in tomorrows rush, or laughed about next year.  Be yourself. It is almost impossible to set up pretense of doing, being, enjoying, or acting in ways that are not you. You may impress your stepchild for a while, but the real you will emerge sooner or later. You chose to enter into a relationship with a woman with children, so you ultimately chose to be a role model and a parental figure to her child or children. It is a good idea to keep a good rapport with your stepchild's biological father, except in cases where he is not welcome in your stepchild's life. A large proportion of stepfathers are good friends with the biological fathers of their stepchildren––both men are acting in the best interest of the child and collaborate. If both men are reasonable, impasses are uncommon. Never pass up an opportunity to tell you stepchild that you love him or her. Sometimes always thinking about it would make you feel uneasy and unnatural around your child. Just treat him/her as you would your own child: if you love your spouse so much, why shouldn't you love her child?
Summary:
Help plan the future of the stepchild. Be a good example to your stepchild. Remember, being a step-dad is a leadership role as part of a team. Try to forget that he/she is not your biological child.