Early on, discuss what is reasonable expectations of communication. If your spouse is incarcerated 5 hours away, it may not be reasonable to expect weekly visits. Think about how you can be there for your spouse while also being there for yourself. It's not realistic to drop your whole social life in order to be ready to accept a phone call.  You want to be supportive of your spouse, but be realistic, too. Think about what you can afford and how frequently you can connect. You may want to accept daily phone calls, but be mindful of the costs. You may also want to send packages and photos and money to your spouse, but don't go above and beyond your means. You may wish to prove to everyone that your marriage can last while your spouse is in prison, but don't punish yourself by waiting by the phone all day.   Being within your means also means being mindful of your time. If you cannot afford to take time off from work some weekends to visit your spouse, it's okay. It's okay to make compromises based on your availability, finances, and support. Your spouse will understand. Phone calls are generally 15 minutes, and there's a lot to say in a short amount of time. Throughout the day, write down things you want to discuss with your spouse, and bring this list to the phone. That way you can be prepared and cover the topics that are important to you. It can be difficult to maintain a marriage when you never see your spouse. See if you can commit to bi-weekly or monthly visits, if time and money will allow. It can be nice to have something to look forward to, and your spouse will look forward to it, too.

Summary: Discuss expectations. Communicate within your means. Keep a notebook near the phone. Arrange visits.


To prepare your body and brain for bed, you should switch off all electronics such as your phone, your computer, or your television. The light that emits from the screens on these electronics can stimulate your brain and reduce your brain’s ability to produce melatonin, a substance that helps you to sleep. You should also avoid bringing any electronics into your bed with you, as it may be more difficult to shut them off or block them out when you are trying to sleep. Rather than go on your phone or your computer when you are lying in bed, choose to do a relaxing activity that does not involve electronics. For example, reading a good book, writing in your journal, or talking quietly to your partner. Create a comfortable atmosphere to encourage sleep by ensuring your bedroom is not too hot and not near any loud noises. Use heavy curtains or shades to block out the light from your windows and cover any electronics in your room with a blanket so the light does not create a glow in your room. You can also use a sleep mask to cover your eyes and block out the light. Layer your bed with blankets and sheets so you can shed layers as you get hot at night and so your body does not overheat. Make sure you set any alarms before you get into bed so you do not have to get up once you are settled. You should try to go to sleep and wake up at the same time every night so your body gets used to your sleep schedule and you are not overly tired during the day. If your sleep schedule is not consistent, you can fix your sleep schedule by noting if you are overly tired in the morning or if you oversleep and making small adjustments to your sleep schedule over a period of time. You will need to give your internal clock time to get used to your new sleep schedule, but as long as you commit to going to sleep and waking up at the same time every day and night, your sleep schedule should gradually become more regular. Some people like to sleep on their backs or stomachs and some people prefer sleeping on their left or right side. If you have a tendency to snore, you should avoid sleeping on your back or your stomach, as this can restrict your airways and lead to snoring. However, you should choose a sleep position that you find comfortable and natural, as this will likely allow you to get the best sleep. If your natural sleep position is on your back, you should use pillows to raise your head and ensure you have a comfortable, supportive mattress. If you are pregnant, you should sleep on your left side with a body pillow and several other pillows to make sure your sleep position is healthy for your child and comfortable for you.

Summary: Turn off all electronics. Make your bedroom cool, quiet, and comfy. Set your alarm. Find a comfortable sleep position.


Small chores each night, like tidying up your room, can reduce longer cleaning sessions during the weekend. Cleaning also helps to reduce clutter that can be distracting when you’re trying to do your homework or relax. Make sure you have enough time in the afternoon or at night to complete your homework so you don't feel rushed trying to get it done. The amount of time you set aside for homework each day depends on how much homework you have. Exercise is important in maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It also positively influences your mental health by releasing endorphins that improve your self-confidence and mood. Depending on what works best for your schedule, you can exercise in the morning or right after school. Working out can increase your energy level so try to finish your exercise routine at least three hours before bedtime so you have enough time to relax before bed. Exercise can be a good way for you to make time for yourself, but if you had P.E. or sports practice during the day, find another way to help you relax like reading a book, journaling, or socializing with friends and family. A good choice for a typical school day is a nice skirt or a pair of jeans, and a top that you know you will be comfy in and that you can dress up with jewelry and accessories. Look at the weather forecast for the next day and pick your outfit accordingly. If it's going to be cold the next day, make sure to have warm clothing like a coat or scarf set aside. Put the books and the homework you'll need for the next day in your bag. If you have extracurricular activities the next day, make sure what you need is ready to go for the next morning.  If you have band practice, make sure you have your instrument packed up and ready for school. If you have sports practice, make sure your athletic equipment is also packed up. Doing these things the night before will save you time in the morning. Look at your agenda or planner to see what you'll need to pack in terms of a sweater, an umbrella, homework, and permission slips. Keeping a good sleep schedule has positive effects on your health and can make you feel better. Don’t drink caffeine and make your room as dark as possible. Minimize blue light from electronic screens like your cellphone or computer screen.
Summary: Do your chores. Save time for homework each day. Get some exercise. Make time for yourself. Pick out an outfit the night before. Pack your bag for the next day. Get at least 8-10 hours of sleep.