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If you have been drinking heavily in a bar or club, you might be tempted to urinate on the nearest sidewalk or on the side wall of the bar. But you can be arrested and charged with a misdemeanor for doing this in all 50 states..That is why it is imperative you pick a quiet, isolated space to pee in which you won't be seen. If you are a girl, there is no quick and convenient way to urinate outside, especially if you are wearing pants. If you are wearing a skirt, you can try taking off your underwear before you squat. You can also try pulling your underwear to the side of your urethra, although it still might get soiled. If you are out at night, you might be tempted to pee against a street lamp, but this will only make it easier for a police officer to spot you. Instead, pick a dark, shadowy alley or an unlit park. If you are out with friends, make sure they know you are going into a dark spot to pee. They can make sure you are safe from a distance. Peeing against a brick wall or on a concrete sidewalk will sound louder than if you pee onto dirt or grass. If you are near a local park or a dirt road, then you should try to pee here as it is less likely that someone will hear you. If you are stuck in a traffic jam, try to find a wooded area near the highway where you can relieve yourself away from the sight of other drivers.  Please note that peeing in the woods does not harm the environment and can be condoned in certain circumstances as long as common sense is used.  In rare cases (particularly for males), you may actually be instructed to do this and that is not automatically a bad thing. If you are hiking or camping, select a spot that is within an easy walk of your tent or fellow hikers, but that is not within easy sight.  Pee behind a tree, away from anyone else on the path or at the site. If you are stuck on the road and there are no trees to conceal you, get out of the car and open the driver's door and the passenger door behind it. This will block the view of the other cars from you while you pee. If there are cars in the lane next to you, turn away from them and pee toward your car. If you have to squat, try to get a fellow passenger to hold up a blanket or towel to hide you. If you are alone and/or do not have anything to hide you, find a secluded area. Do not pee near a school, playground or other location with children. This can have serious legal consequences (as discussed below). You could also face the wrath of an irate parent, who will not hesitate to call the police on you.  Understand the consequences of being a sex offender. In 12 states, public urination could require you to register on a public sex offender list.  Registering on a sex offender list could cost you everything from your job to your ability to live in a city (most sex offenders cannot live between 500 and 2,500 feet of schools, parks, day cares of school bus stops). You may also be prohibited from attending any events with children, such as Little League games or school performances. While you might not care about this as a drunken undergrad, you will probably deeply regret never being able to attend your future child's football games or Christmas concerts. In many states, peeing in public is labelled as "public indecency." Under this categorization, offenders are labelled as flashers. These spaces are technically "public," and you could get arrested and fined for any damage you may cause to a train, bus, or subway. Other people are also highly likely to see you here and possibly turn you in. Most of these locations also have video surveillance; while you might think no one can see you, you are probably being monitored from a distance. After you pee, apply a hand sanitizer (you can find travel sizes in most drug stores) or an antibacterial wipe to clean your hands. Wash your hands in the nearest washroom you come across.
Select an empty location. Pee in the dark. Pee on grass. Pee in the woods. Avoid peeing anywhere near children. Do not pee on public transportation. Keep antibacterial hand sanitizer with you.