Summarize:

To deal with drama effectively, you’re going to have to remember to breathe—and deeply. When you breathe deeply, your body works to calm you down physiologically. Take several deep breaths before continuing the confrontation, and keep reminding your self to breathe slowly in the midst of the confrontation. This will help you keep a cool head as you attempt to defuse the drama. When you’re in the midst of drama, you might be tempted to use a plethora of “you” statements. Avoid saying something like, “You did this! What were you thinking? You were the one who made this mess. You’re making me very angry.” Instead say, “I feel like you contributed to this situation. I feel angry that you weren’t there when I needed you.” This means not acting impulsively on every emotion you feel in the moment. Instead, name the emotions to your self and ask yourself, “Are these feelings representative of reality?” If they aren’t, then let them go. If they are, ask yourself what they best way to convey them is, and what you hope to gain by conveying them. This way, you understand what role your emotions are playing in the drama, and whether they are likely to escalate or defuse the drama. The tone you use can defuse drama. By keeping your volume at a normal level, you are showing that you are calm even as they try to stoke the flames of the drama. Yelling is a sign that our bodies are physiologically aroused. It can also be damaging to others’ health and wellbeing. So, not only will yelling increase the drama, it hurts people and relationships. Keep your posture open. This means uncrossing your arms and relaxing the shoulders. This will help to defuse the drama as it sends subtle cues to the other person that you are calm, but assertive. It can unnerve some people who are loud and aggressive on the outside but insecure and fearful on the inside. To avoid being aggressive in your posture, don’t invade other people’s space. You’ll also want to refrain from being rigid in your stance.
Breathe. Use “I” statements rather than “you” statements. Be mindful of your own emotions. Don’t yell or raise your voice. Keep an open and assertive but not aggressive posture.