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Be respectful Never talk down to someone with a disability. Don’t use labels or offensive terms, especially in a casual way. Speak directly to the person, not to an aide or translator. Be patient and ask questions, if necessary. Don't be afraid of asking about a person’s disability. Recognize that some disabilities are not visible.
, above all else. Someone who has a disability should be afforded the same amount of respect as anyone else. View others as people, not impairments. Focus on the person at hand and their individual personality. If you must put a "label" on the disability, it's best to ask what terminology they prefer and stick with the terms they choose. In general, you should follow the “golden rule”: treat others as you would like to be treated.  Many, but not all, people with disabilities prefer "people first" language, which puts the name or person before the disability. For example, you would say “his sister, who has Down syndrome” rather than “his Down's sister". More examples of appropriate people-first language include, "Robert has cerebral palsy," "Leslie is partially sighted," or "Sarah uses a wheelchair," rather than saying someone "is mentally/physically challenged/handicapped" (both of which are often seen as patronizing terms) or referring to "the blind girl" or "the girl in the wheelchair." If possible, avoid these blanket terms when referring to people. While some people find the word "disabled" unpleasant, others use it to describe themselves because they feel erased by treating it like a "bad word", and their disability is part of who they are. Take your lead from the person you are interacting with. If they refer to themselves as "disabled", ask if they are comfortable being described that way or why they choose to describe themselves like this. It will help you gain insight into their perspective. It's worth noting that labeling norms vary a great deal between people and groups. In particular, many deaf, blind, and autistic individuals have rejected people-first language and prefer "identify-first" language (for example, "Anisha is autistic"). As another example, it's common within the deaf world to see the terms deaf or hard of hearing used to describe their disability, but the term Deaf (with an uppercase D) to refer to their culture or someone who is part of it. If in doubt, just politely ask the individual you're talking to what they prefer. Regardless of being their abilities, no one wants to be treated like a child or patronized.  When you’re speaking to someone with a disability, don’t use childlike vocabulary, pet names, or a louder-than-average talking voice. Do not use patronizing gestures such as patting them on the back or head. These habits communicate that you don’t think the person with a disability is capable of understanding you and that you equate them to a child. Use a regular speaking voice and vocabulary, and talk to them just like you would talk to someone without a disability.  It is appropriate to slow down your speech for someone who is hard of hearing or has a cognitive disability. Equally, it may be acceptable to talk to people who have hearing loss in a louder than average voice, so that they are able to hear you. Usually, someone will mention it to you if you are speaking too quietly.  You may also ask whether you are speaking too quickly, or ask them to tell you if you need to slow down or speak more clearly if necessary. Don’t feel like you have to reduce your vocabulary to the most basic words. The only time you may be asked to simplify your language, is if you are talking to someone who has a severe intellectual or communication difficulty. Baffling your conversational partner is unlikely to be viewed as good mannered and neither is talking at somebody who is unable to follow what you are talking about. However, if in doubt, speak casually and ask about their language needs. Labels and derogatory names are not appropriate and should be avoided in conversation with someone who has a disability. Identifying someone by their disability or assigning a label that is offensive (such as crippled or handicapped) is both hurtful and disrespectful. Always be careful of the things you say, censoring your language if necessary. Avoid names like moron, retard, cripple, spastic, midget, etc., at all times. Be careful not to identify someone by their disability instead of their name or role.  If you introduce someone with a disability, you don’t need to introduce the disability as well. You can say “this is my co-worker, Susan” without saying “this is my co-worker, Susan, who is deaf.” If you use a common phrase like “I gotta run!” to someone in a wheelchair, don’t apologize. These types of phrases are not intended to be hurtful, and by apologizing you’ll simply be drawing attention to your awareness of their disability. It’s frustrating for someone with a disability to have to deal with people never talking directly to them if they have an assistant or a translator present. Equally, talk to a person in a wheelchair, rather than the person standing next to them. Their body may not be working fully, but it doesn't mean their brains aren't!  If you’re speaking with someone who has a nurse to help or someone who is deaf and has a sign language interpreter, you should still always speak directly to the person who is disabled. Even if the person doesn't have typical listening body language (e.g. an autistic person who doesn't look at you), don't assume that they can't hear you. Speak to them. It can be tempting to speed along a conversation or to finish the sentences of someone with a disability, but doing so can be disrespectful. Always let them speak and work at their own pace, without you egging them to talk, think, or move faster. Additionally, if you don’t understand something someone says because they’re speaking too slowly or too quickly, don’t be afraid to ask questions. Assuming you know what someone said can be detrimental and embarrassing if you mishear them, so always double-check.  Someone with a speech impediment might be particularly difficult to understand, so don’t rush them to talk faster and ask them to repeat themselves if necessary. Some people need extra time to process speech or turn their thoughts into spoken words (regardless of intellectual ability). It's okay if there are long pauses in the conversation. It may not be appropriate to ask about someone’s disability out of curiosity, but if you feel this might help you make a situation easier for them (like asking a person if they would prefer to take the elevator with you instead of the stairs if you see they have trouble walking), it is appropriate to ask questions. Chances are, they have been asked about their disability repeatedly over their life and know how to explain it in a few sentences. If the disability resulted from an accident or the person finds the information too personal, they will most likely answer that they prefer not to discuss it. Assuming you know what their disability is can be offensive; it is better to ask than to presume knowledge. If you see someone who appears able-bodied parking in a handicapped spot, don't confront them and accuse them of lacking a disability; they may have a disability you cannot see.  Sometimes called "invisible disabilities," disabilities that cannot be immediately seen are still disabilities.  A good habit to be in is to act kindly and considerately towards everyone; you can't know someone's situation by just looking at them. Some disabilities vary from day to day: someone who needed a wheelchair yesterday might only need a cane today. This doesn't mean they're faking it or "getting better," just that they have good days and bad days like everyone else.