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Smiling is the easiest way to show someone you’re interested. If you see him looking at you, give him a quick smile. If he’s thinking about kissing you, this might encourage him to move closer to you. Eye contact is a great way to flirt, since it creates an instant connection between two people. Flirt with your eyes by looking at him then looking away, then looking back for a longer gaze. When people are feeling flirtatious, they often signal this unconsciously by playing with their hair or touching their face. Send this signal intentionally by resting your hand on your cheek, wrapping a piece of hair around your fingers, or lightly touching your throat. This is especially effective if you’re talking about something you’re passionate about, since it seems like a very natural movement. If he smiles or leans towards you, you can leave your hand where it is. If he seems uncomfortable with the touch, pull your hand away. Chances are that he’s just as nervous as you are, so boost his confidence by laughing at his jokes or listening intently to his stories. Be sincere, though, since he’ll be able to pick up on fake laughter.

Summary: Smile at him. Look into his eyes flirtatiously. Touch your face or twirl your hair around your fingers. Rest your hand on his arm while you’re talking to him. Laugh at his jokes.


Depression can cause uncharacteristic behaviors that sufferers try to cover up with excuses. If your friend or family member is always explaining something away, such as the scratches on their arms or the reason they didn’t show up to a meeting, they may be hiding depression. The person may become defensive when you challenge their excuses. If your friend or family member has been lashing out in annoyance more than usual lately, or if they start crying without much provocation, pay attention. Depression can cause someone to lose control over their negative emotions. However, depression can also cause a person to feel numb. If the person's emotions seem dulled and they do not react with emotion when the should — such as joy at a friend's success or their favorite football team qualifying for the playoffs — this could be a sign of depression as well.   Often, suppressed feelings re-surface in surprising or inappropriate ways. For instance, if your normally mild-mannered sibling starts cursing at a driver who took their parking spot, something may be wrong. Or if your normally animated friend seems subdued and doesn't get excited about the things they once loved, then they may be battling depression. Your friend or family member may say things that are a subtle cry for help, even if they’re too proud or ashamed to ask for support directly. They may also confess their feelings but try to take it back later, insisting they’re actually fine.  For instance, if your friend breaks down one night and says she can’t handle her life anymore, but the next day tells you she was just overreacting, don’t be so quick to believe her. Depression can come and go in waves. Someone may reach out for help at a low point but no longer take their condition seriously when they feel a little better. Depression may make your friend or family member act needier than usual. They might get very upset if someone cancels plans with them, or they might start texting you every day for reassurance that you still care about them.  Depression is isolating, and it lowers a person’s self-esteem. The combination of these factors can leave a depressed person feeling desperate for company or convinced that everyone secretly dislikes them. The insecurity and self-doubt can lead to anxiety about the person's abilities at work, as a friend and/or partner, or simply about their worth as a human being. They may attach to you as a way to try to feel whole or complete. If your friend or family member constantly finds the negative in a situation, it might be depression talking. Pay attention to whether they make more cynical jokes than usual, are unusually critical, or anticipate things going wrong. They may not laugh much or even smile.

Summary: Notice whether the person makes excuses. Notice any unusual changes in mood. Look for hints about their real feelings. Be alert for signs of abandonment issues. Notice whether the person is unusually pessimistic.


Every time you walk into that practice room, have a purpose in mind. And it shouldn't be "to practice violin," either. It needs to be something specific – a goal you can work toward. Whether it's fixing a problem spot, polishing a piece, or starting on a new one, have that lined out at the start. And then at the end you'll know if you accomplished it or not. You'll note that with every session, your purpose likely changes. One by one, each little goal will get crossed off, until you're working on more and more skilled issues. This will give you a sense of progress and accomplishment, too, aiding in your motivation to keep going. When we're in the heat of the moment, whether it's violin or otherwise, our brains are so focused on getting the job done that we often don't realize what we're doing wrong. Our foot went too far to the right on the dismount, we sang a note a third too high, or we didn't notice the music in front of us indicated a full rest, and not a half. But if you record yourself, you'll be able to look back and hear where you went wrong, even if you didn't notice it in the first place. If you keep flubbing up on a fast passage, break it down. Play the series of notes, only repeat each note three or four times before moving on (d-d-d-d-e-e-e-e-a-a-a-a), sort of like a bowed tremolo. As you get used to it, you'll have the pattern down and can take out the extra notes. Imagine handing a computer a piece of music and having it play it. Technically, it'd be correct, but it wouldn't be good. Your musicality is your ability to interpret and play the piece with feeling. If your notes are lacking something, this very well could be it. To get started finding this, experiment with different phrasings and variations in tone, style, and intensity. And once it's memorized, you'll be even freer to explore. Once it's ingrained, you'll be able to make it your own.
Summary: Determine today's purpose. Record yourself. Think of your musicality.