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These may be minor things, like cleanliness, or major issues, like jealousy, infidelity, or commitment. Be aware, though, that arguments are often about something below the surface, such as resentment and disappointment. The things we argue about can be simply an excuse to vent our deeper frustrations. These include alcohol, physical or emotional fatigue, and stress from work or school. Dealing with these may significantly improve things. While you may feel that your boyfriend is to blame for everything, step back and ask whether you've contributed to your arguments. In some cases, admitting that you did something wrong to your partner may dramatically reduce the intensity of the argument. It's important to admit when you are wrong. Additionally, be open to accepting that you can have differing perspectives about something. Many arguments continue because people refuse to see things from the other person's viewpoint. You may or may not know how you would like the problem to be resolved. Take time to think about what your ideal outcome is, and then ask yourself what other possible outcomes you could accept. This will help put the argument in the larger context of your needs and the relationship as a whole. If it helps, write down the things you want to say to your boyfriend.

summary: Decide what you most commonly fight over. Identify other factors that may contribute to your fights. Consider your involvement in the problem. Find solutions that you can live with.


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While not all personality tests are created equal, some personality tests can tell you more about who you are. For instance, the Myers-Briggs is a common test that will divide you among two options in four categories. You can also try the Big Five personality test.  Use your results. Once you get your results, it will help you understand more about how you make decisions and who you are as person. It will also help you understand how you interact with other people and why you may respond in certain ways to specific situations.  For instance, if you're an introvert, knowing that will help you understand why you may feel drained after parties and how you can take steps to manage your energy Write down the three things you consider your biggest accomplishments. What do these times have in common? In turn, consider what believe to be your biggest failures. What do those have in common? That is, given your accomplishments and failures, consider how you acted to get there or how you would act differently now. If one of your biggest accomplishments was getting a degree, that means you consider hard work and dedication important. If one of your biggest failures was getting drunk and cheating on a girlfriend, that means you believe you have had problems with overindulging and not keeping promises and want to do those things differently. Consider the people you admire most. What do you admire about them? What qualities do they have that you wish you did? What values do they have? Those values are likely ones you wish you had, too. To figure out your values, you need to consider what's most important in your life. Maybe it's your family, or maybe it's your friendships. One way to figure out what you value is to ask yourself some questions. For instance, what would you carry out of your house if it were on fire (besides your family and pets)? What would you do to change the world, if you could? What makes you passionate? The recurring themes that you find help make up your values. For instance, you may have realized that hard work is important to you. That means it's one of your values. You have also noticed that moderation and fidelity are also important to you and part of your values. It's easy to have values in a vacuum. However, what defines you as a person is how you put those values in action. People are said to have integrity when they follow through on their values, so if you want to be a person of integrity, you must follow through on what you believe. Who you are personality-wise and what values you have define your actions. That is, say you value your family over anyone else. That means that you will chose your family over, say, your job or other obligations. However, if you value your work, you may choose not to have a family at all, which is also a valid choice. What you do becomes who you are. Once you realize how your values have defined you as a person, you can put that into words. For instance, if you value your family above all else, maybe you consider yourself a "family person," while if you value you work, you might say "I'm passionate about my work."

summary: Try online personality tests. Consider your biggest accomplishments. Identify what you've learned. Look at people you admire. Ask yourself what's most important to you. Incorporate what you've learned into value statements. Use your values to guide your decisions. Let your values define you.


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To understand electronegativity, it's important first to understand what a "bond" is. Any two atoms in a molecule that are "connected" to each other on a molecular diagram are said to have a bond between them. This means that they share a set of two electrons with each atom contributing  one electron to the bond. The exact reasons for why atoms share electrons and bond are a little beyond the scope of this article. If you want to learn more, try this article on the bond basics or WikiHow's own How to Study the Nature of the Chemical Bond (Chemistry). When two atoms share a set of two electrons in a bond, they don't always share them equally. When one atom has higher electronegativity than the atom it's bonded to, it pulls the two electrons in the bond closer to itself. An atom with very high electronegativity may pull the electrons all the way to its side of the bond, barely sharing them at all with the other atom. For example, in the molecule NaCl (sodium chloride), the chloride atom has a fairly high electronegativity and the sodium has a fairly low one. Thus, the electrons will get pulled towards the chloride and away from the sodium. An electronegativity table of the elements has the elements arranged exactly like in a periodic table, except that each atom is labeled with its electronegativity. These can be found in a variety of chemical textbooks and technical articles as well as online.  Here is a link to an excellent electronegativity table. Note that this uses the Pauling electronegativity scale, which is most common. However, there are other ways to measure electronegativity, one of which will be shown below. If you don't have an electronegativity table handy, you can still estimate the strength of an atom's electronegativity compared to the strength of another element's atom based on where it is located on a normal periodic table. Although you will not be able to calculate a number value, you can evaluate the difference between the electronegativities of 2 different elements. As a general rule:  An atom's electronegativity gets higher as you move to the right in the periodic table. An atom's electronegativity gets higher as you move up in the periodic table. Thus, the atoms in the top right have the highest electronegativities and the atoms in the bottom left have the lowest ones. For example, in the NaCl example from above, you can tell that chlorine has a higher electronegativity than sodium because it's almost all the way in the top right. On the other hand, sodium is far to the left, making it one of the lower-ranking atoms.
summary: Understand that chemical bonds occur when atoms share electrons. Understand how electronegativity affects the electrons in the bond. Use an electronegativity table as a reference. Remember electronegativity trends for easy estimations.