Q: Intrapersonal or internal conflicts are those disputes you have with yourself; in other words, they are "me-conflicts," rather than "we-conflicts," because they don't involve another person.  Internal conflicts can be concerned with your own feelings, thoughts or decisions, but can also be related to someone or something else. For example, maybe you feel jealous of the new promotion your best friend received. You are proud of your friend and want the best for her, but you can’t seem to shake the jealousy. Therefore, the conflict isn’t with your friend, but with your own emotions and so the conflict is squarely your own. Intrapersonal conflicts, although difficult, can also be a powerful motivating force in our lives. It is often what drives us to change and discover new opportunities for growth. Ask yourself what emotions you are feeling and what might be causing you to have these emotional reactions. Consider keeping a journal in order to keep track of what you've been doing and feeling. A journal can be a resource when you feel unsettled with yourself because you can consult it as you try to uncover the reason for your internal conflict. Intrapersonal conflict can range from minor and mundane decisions about whether or not to eat organic lunches to major life decisions, such as quitting smoking, ending a relationship or changing careers. Many conflicts people have with themselves are related to something the psychology world refers to as cognitive dissonance, a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors. Cognitive dissonance theory suggests that we all have an inner drive to hold our attitudes and beliefs in harmony with our actions to avoid disharmony (or dissonance). For example, let's say you feel sad over a breakup, even thought you yourself did the breaking up. Your emotions thus don't align with your action. Or, to give another example, let's say you smoke even though you know it is bad for your health. Your action of smoking thus doesn't align with what you know about smoking. No one can “make” you feel anything. This isn’t to say you may not have emotions or feelings in reaction to someone else’s words or actions, but ultimately, your feelings are yours. Be aware of and "own" your feelings - even the negative emotions like sadness, loneliness, grief, and heartbreak. Acknowledging your emotions is the first step to resolving any internal conflicts. Embrace the struggle knowing you will eventually untie yourself from the knots of indecisiveness, insecurity, and/or denial. Surely you have been here before on other subjects, and you made it through. Allow yourself time. All too frequently, people don't like to give time its place because quick and easy decisions are so immediately gratifying. However, when it comes to personal changes and emotions, time is your best friend. Over time, we can examine the issue and ensure we are handling these emotions productively, which is the key to success. When dealing with cognitive dissonance, you have three possible solutions: change your beliefs, change your action or change your perception of the action by rationalizing it.  In the case of a breakup over which you feel sad, begin to think carefully about what led you to the breakup. Reflecting on the conflict can help resolve it; chances are that you'll realize that you did the right thing and that you're mourning the possibility of your relationship, not the actual person with whom you broke up who treated you so terribly. In the case of smoking while knowing it's bad for your health, many smokers have developed all kinds of way to rationalize and justify their behavior to ward off those feelings of internal conflict. For example, some smokers might say it helps calm their stress, keeps them from overeating (another bad habit) or that they smoke "light" cigarettes which are "healthier." Of course, there are also some smokers who effectively change their actions and quit smoking!  Be your own therapist while evaluating your options. Ask yourself the tough questions in order to put the conflict at rest (i.e., what's the worst thing that could happen if I continue smoking? Would I really be happier if I hadn't broken up with him? Am I jealous of my friend or am I struggling with the fact that my own work situation isn't advancing?, etc.). You may be wrestling with the issue, but most likely you know the right questions to ask yourself. If you were your own closest friend, what questions would you pose to help yourself sort through your conflict? Intrapersonal conflicts can be quite difficult to handle if you already struggle with deciphering your thoughts, feelings, and needs. It can also cause uneasiness, restlessness, and even depression. Consider communication with someone, such as a friend or family member, in order to help assuage your anxiety. If you feel unable to resolve your internal conflict or your feelings of self-doubt, anxiety, or sadness begin to hinder your daily functioning, consider talking to a mental health professional who can work with you to develop effective internal conflict management strategies.
A: Understand the nature of an intrapersonal conflict. Identify the conflict. Try to get to the root of the conflict. Acknowledge your own feelings. Give yourself time. Consider your options. Talk to someone about your intrapersonal conflict.

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Q: A good boyfriend will give you the respect you deserve. He is considerate of your feelings, he listens to you, he is supportive, and he trusts you. He should also have respect for himself. Having self-respect means that he thinks that he is worthy of your attention, he can accomplish things, and he is comfortable with himself. A strong relationship relies on good communication. Your boyfriend should be honest with you, and should be able to talk calmly about problems without yelling or insulting you.,  Good communication also requires listening. A good boyfriend will pay attention to what you're saying and take it to heart. A good boyfriend has goals of his own, such as certain career goals that he'd like to achieve. His path to achieving these goals will demonstrate how motivated he is. He will be proactive about pursuing these goals, rather than whining about how he can't do something.
A: Make sure he treats you with respect. See how well he communicates with you. Find out his own life goals.

Q: Renaissance people spend time balancing the needs of their mind with those of their body. Stay healthy by exercising regularly. If you’ve never exercised before, now’s a great time to start!   Try to exercise for at least 20-30 minutes each day. Make this workout hard enough to get your heart pumping. Jogging is great exercise. Try going for a 20-minute jog three-four times per week, and taking a walk or hike on your off days. You may want to join a gym. This membership gives you access to lots of classes, weight rooms, and machines that could motivate you to really commit to your plan. It’s not enough to exercise. If you want to keep up good health, it’s important to eat right. Use your diet to get all the essential nutrients you need, and try to limit the good-tasting (but not-so-good-for-you) sweets.  Stick with lean meats such as chicken and fish. Go heavy on the fruits and veggies, and make sure you’re also eating food from each food group. Make your own meals instead of eating out. This will help you control exactly what you’re eating. Try simple recipes like baked chicken and spinach salad. Drinking lots of water helps your body function better. It’ll keep you focused during the day. If you’re drinking water, you’re also probably avoiding unhealthy liquids like soda and sugar-filled energy drinks. Drink enough water so that you’re never thirsty, or about 8 glasses of water per day. Sleep keeps stress under control, and it’s critical for good health. If you don’t get enough sleep, you’re going to feel too tired to work out. You also won’t want to go grocery shopping or cook for yourself, which could lead to a few not-so-healthy meals. To get better sleep, avoid nicotine, caffeine, and heavy foods for the last few hours before you head to bed. You should also limit your daytime naps to about 20 or 30 minutes. Try to stick to the same sleep schedule each night.
A:
Commit to an exercise plan. Have a healthy, balanced diet. Drink plenty of water. Sleep for at least 8 hours each night.