Summarize:

Self-esteem, or the way we feel about ourselves, is an important aspect of our emotional well-being. High self-esteem means that we love and accept ourselves for the way we are, and generally feel satisfied most of the time. Low self-esteem means that we are not happy with the way we are.  The Centre for Clinical Interventions describes people with low self-esteem as having “deep-seated, basic, negative beliefs about themselves and the kind of person they are. These beliefs are often taken as facts or truths about their identity.”  Untreated low-self esteem can often lead to lifelong problems, such as being the victim of abusive relationships, feeling constantly self-conscious, and being so afraid of failure that you don’t even try to set goals. Knowing that you have low self-esteem is the first step to improving and overcoming that mental habit. You may have low self-esteem if you have negative thoughts about yourself.  These thoughts can revolve around one specific trait, such as your weight or body image, or it can encompass many areas of your life, career, and relationships.  If your inner voice, or thoughts about yourself, are mostly critical, you likely have low self-esteem.  If your inner voice tends to be positive and comforting, you have higher self-esteem. When you have thoughts about yourself, determine whether they are positive or negative.  If you have trouble evaluating this or noticing a pattern, try writing down thoughts you have about yourself every day for a few days or a week.  Then look at the statements for patterns or tendencies.  The inner voice of someone with low self-esteem often manifests in one of the following personas: a nagger, a generalist, a comparer, a catastrophizer, or a mind-reader.  Each of these unique inner voices either insults you or assumes the worst about other people’s perception of you. Silencing the negative inner voice is a first step in building your confidence.  Replacing it with more positive thoughts will be the next goal. For example, your inner voice may say “I didn’t get the job I just applied for, so I will never have a job again and I am useless.”  You want to change that to “I am disappointed about not getting this job, but I have worked hard and the right job is out there waiting for me; I just have to find it.” No one has inherently low self-esteem from birth; it generally builds from childhood due to needs not being met, negative feedback from others, or due to a major negative life event.  Knowing the source of your self-esteem problems can help you overcome them.  If you noticed a particular pattern when evaluating your inner voice, try to trace those feelings back to your first memory about them. For example, if your negativity is about your weight or appearance, try to remember when you first started feeling uncomfortable with your weight; was it due to a particular comment or group of comments? The key to developing self-esteem is to turn your inner voice from a negative, critical voice to a positive, encouraging voice.  Ultimately, you will have to decide to put in the work of re-framing the way you think about yourself.  Setting an initial goal to be more positive about yourself will put you on the path to greater self-confidence and self-efficacy. For example, your goal may be “I will be more positive about myself and talk to myself like a friend rather than an enemy.”
Learn  self-esteem. Evaluate your self-esteem. Listen to your inner voice. Investigate the source of your lowered self-esteem. Set a goal to improve your self-esteem.