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Do not get overly emotional when your child has a conflict with another child. If you react rashly, you will be teaching your child to do the same. Instead, ask questions or make statements about the situation that allow your child to see the conflict from both sides. You might say something like “I’m sorry that your friend took the ball from you. He must have felt like it was his turn to have the ball, but you felt like it was still your turn.” While you do not want to give your child the impression that they are always right or that they have no fault in conflicts, you should show that you care how they feel. Do not dismiss your child’s feelings. Instead, relate to their feelings and help them relate those feelings to how others might feel. Children are often confused and frustrated by their emotions. This can lead to hitting, yelling at, or blaming someone else for their frustration. Teach your child techniques like taking a deep breath and counting to ten, then saying what they need to say politely. If your child comes crying to you because a friend wouldn’t play the game they want, you could say something like “I know it’s hard when other people don’t want to do the things you want to do. That makes me upset sometimes, too. Do you think your friends feel upset when you don’t play their games?” Part of teaching your child to cooperate with others is to teach them how to express their wants and needs. Whether in the classroom, at home, or on the playground, children will need to voice their wants and opinions. You must teach them to do this effectively and respectfully so that they may advocate for their own needs. This could be something like reassuring your child that it is okay to raise their hand and ask to go to the restroom in class, if that’s what the need to do.
Listen to your child’s conflicts objectively. Empathize with your child. Help your child express how they feel without attacking someone else. Teach self advocacy to your child.