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Your girlfriend may have several options for handling a pregnancy. Before making a decision about what to do, make sure that she has good information about them.  Your girlfriend may want to have the baby and parent it. This may or may not mean marriage or a long-term relationship. The two of you should discuss your long-term relationship plans in addition to the pregnancy. Your girlfriend may want to have the baby and offer it for adoption. Your girlfriend may also decide to terminate the pregnancy (have an abortion). Laws regulating when and how a woman may elect an abortion vary by state. In some states, for example, a minor can make an abortion decision on her own, while parental consent must be provided in other states. Emergency contraception (“the morning after pill”) will not work if your girlfriend is already pregnant. These medications will decrease the likelihood of pregnancy only if taken within 5 days (depending on the specific medication) after unprotected sex. Deciding how to handle a pregnancy, or share the news of it, can be very stressful. Give your girlfriend time to think, and don’t force her to make a rushed decision. In the meantime, help her out with whatever she needs: sleep, food, relaxation, chores, etc. Maybe your girlfriend knows exactly what she wants to do about the pregnancy. On the other hand, she might be confused, unsure, or just not ready to make a decision. If she’s not sure, the two of you can start talking about your options and how to handle things.  Common options for handling a pregnancy including having the baby and parenting it (as a single parent or a couple), offering it for adoption, or terminating it (having an abortion). Each of these options brings unique concerns, so your girlfriend shouldn’t rush to make a decision without getting information and thinking things through. The decision is ultimately up to your girlfriend, so you should support her without being demanding. Don’t push your girlfriend one way or another. Avoid making statements like “You need to…” or “You have to…” If your girlfriend is considering multiple options, let her know you care by saying something like “I’ll support you whatever your decision is.” If your girlfriend asks what you want to do, be honest. If the two of you don’t agree, tell her something like “I know this is a really hard decision to make. I wanted to be honest with you, but I’m willing to talk about it and change my mind if we think another option is better.” You can also offer to support her decision even if it is different from what you would have chosen. If your girlfriend wants to tell other people about the pregnancy, like her parents or your own, be there with her for the conversation. It can be very stressful to tell others about the pregnancy, especially if you are young, and your girlfriend will probably appreciate the support.  Make a plan to tell her parents and/or your own before you meet.  Tell the parents something direct like: “I (or we) have some big news to tell you. [Name] is pregnant.”  Give parents time to speak and react, and be prepared for them to have a range of responses. Parents might be angry, happy, shocked, upset, hurt, disappointed, concerned, excited, or feel a combination of emotions. Remember that parents’ feelings can change over time, just like your own. Most parents want to be supportive, even if they are upset at first. There are many family planning centers, with varying philosophies, that can counsel your girlfriend about handling a pregnancy, and about how you can help. Family, friends, spiritual advisors, and others you are close to can also provide support. If your girlfriend wants you to go with her to get help and advice, you should do so if at all possible. Becoming a parent, or the possibility of becoming a parent, involves a wide range of personal, emotional, physical, medical, and legal concerns. Even an option that seems like an obvious choice will come along with its own issues and things to deal with.  If your girlfriend wants to have and keep the baby, help her decide how to plan for it, considering finances, education, work, living situations, etc.  If your girlfriend wants to have the baby and offer it for adoption, help her through the adoption process and the decisions that must be made (for instance, whether or not the biological mother and father will be revealed to the child, whether or not there will be contact between the biological and adoptive parents, etc.). If your girlfriend wants to have an abortion, make sure she understands the medical and emotional risks of the procedure, and that she will be cared for afterwards. Remember that any decision the two of you make will have lasting repercussions--just different ones. If you and your girlfriend don’t agree on what to do, you will have to realize that in almost all cases the decision about a pregnancy is ultimately up to the woman. You can try to compromise, or work with a counselor or lawyer to find a way to agree or understand each other.  If your girlfriend wants to have to the baby and the two of you do not marry, you may be required to pay child support. The two of you will also have to work out arrangements regarding custody, visitation, etc. If your girlfriend wants to have the baby and offer it for adoption, and you do not, you may or may not be able to get custody of the child (laws vary by state). If your girlfriend chooses to have an abortion, it is her decision (though she may need parental consent if she is a minor, in some states). If you oppose, however, you may be able to work with a counselor to reach an agreement.
Learn about your options. Be patient. Talk about it. Help your girlfriend tell others. Ask for help. Get the information you need to make an informed decision. Talk it out or compromise if you don’t agree.