Your gifts and talents will help you succeed, but they can only do so if you know what they are. You need to be self-aware enough to use and hone the gifts you already have.  Start by thinking about the areas in which you excel. What comes easiest to you? In which subjects did you always do well in school? What do you breeze through at work? Ask your friends, family, and co-workers for feedback. Often, they can see talents that you're blind to. For instance, maybe you have a natural ability to talk anyone into anything. You may not even notice that ability, yet it's a skill that comes in handy in many fields. You could ask your friends, "I'm trying to become more self-aware. Can you tell me what you think my strengths and weaknesses are?" It's also equally important to know your challenges, so you can work on those areas. Listen when you do receive feedback from others, either solicited or unsolicited, as that will help you learn where you can grow. For example, if a friend says, "You're starting another new project? What happened to the last one?" you may realize that you aren't following through on your projects. Studies have shown that kids who are praised for their effort rather than for the result are more likely to develop a growth mindset. That's because they become focused on the process rather than the the end result. You can use that to your own benefit by rewarding yourself for your hard work, rather than just the end result.  For every designated length of time that you work on something, reward yourself with a fun break or treat. This can help keep your focus on the effort. Or if you tried a new recipe at home, something you find difficult, you probably would normally tell yourself, "That's so delicious!" While that's not bad necessarily, you should also think about the process, telling yourself, "I'm proud of myself for trying out a new recipe and working so hard on it." A qualified counselor or therapist can help you identify negative thinking patterns and other roadblocks toward developing a growth mindset. A therapist can make an assessment of your personal relationships, your professional development, and personal experiences. They can also give you "tools" to combat negative thoughts, improve your self esteem, and offer support when you experience setbacks.

Summary: Figure out what your gifts and talents are. Know your challenges. Give yourself credit for effort. Speak with a therapist.


Your cat will always want to scratch on things, and if it doesn't know how to use a scratching post, it will use your furniture instead. Before bringing your cat inside, place a scratching post in a dry spot, near your cat's food. Give your cat at least a week to become accustomed to using a scratching post before bringing it inside. Before bringing your cat indoors, place a little box outside in a dry location. Fill the litter box with fine-grain, clumping litter. Give your cat approximately a week to get accustomed to the litter box before bringing it inside.  Make sure to clean the litter box every day. Outdoor cats tend to like to use clean areas to eliminate waste. If the litter box is not clean, they are likely not to use it. Put the litter box in a safe and quiet area. Otherwise, the cat might be too scared or hesitant to use it. Before bringing your cat indoors, you should be sure that it won't be bringing disease with it. If your cat hasn't already been microchipped, a process that allows it to be identified, your veterinarian should perform this procedure as well. A wild cat will also need to be vaccinated and neutered.  Before the cat is spayed or neutered, the vet should perform a test for Feline Leukemia Virus (FeLV). FeLV is highly infectious between cats and can be deadly if untreated. The vet will do two blood tests to see if your cat has this disease.  The vet should do a complete check-up of the cat. This includes checking for ear mites, fleas, lice, and other parasites. The cat should also be dewormed.

Summary: Train your cat to use the scratching post outside. Train your cat to use a litter box outside. Take your cat to a veterinarian.


Your crush might linger if you daydream about what could be, but holding onto your fantasies will only lead to more pain. Accept the reality of the situation and your feelings of attraction equally. Gradually avoid thinking about what your relationship would be like if it could only work out.  Don't dwell on the past or worry about the future. Instead, ground yourself in the present.  Instead of building up a fantasy life, work on yourself. Set goals in your work or hobbies, spend time with loved ones, and work on self-improvement to love the life you have. Your friendship with this person can still be meaningful, even if you can't pursue a romantic relationship with them. Think about all the good times you've had with this person and the positive qualities they have. Have gratitude that this person is in your life and that you've had the opportunity to know them. You don't have to stop being friends, but spending time with just this person can cause you to dwell more on your feelings. You might need some time away from this person to work through your feelings. Tell your friend that you need space for a while. While you're spending time away from them, focus on other things, like trying a new hobby or meeting new people.  Rebuilding a friendship can take weeks or months. You may not feel "over" your crush until you find someone new. Take as much time as you need to process your emotions. Let your friend know why you need space so that they don't feel hurt or confused. Let them know that it isn't their fault and that you still care about them. If you want to fall out of love with your crush, set boundaries for yourself and your friend to avoid sparking old flames. You might avoid extended physical contact with your friend, stop flirting with them, or steer away from intimate conversations for a while. Share the boundaries with your friend (if you're comfortable) so they know to avoid those situations.  For example, you might tell your friend to hold off on the cuddling or hugging, even if they just mean it in a platonic way. On the flip side, you may have to hold yourself back from hugging or holding them. Let them know why you are doing this so they don't feel hurt or abandoned.
Summary: Separate fantasy from what actually is. Appreciate your friendship for what you have. Spend some time apart for a while. Set boundaries.