Q: If you want to write a song about a specific subject, sit in a quiet place and clear your mind. Think about your subject matter, or look at it if it’s an object, image, or environment. Allow it to fill your emotions, and try to put your experience into words.  Suppose you just had a great first date and feel like writing a song about it. Clear your mind, replay the night in your head, and let your thoughts and feelings percolate. Don’t filter your thoughts or try to force yourself to write down words. Just focus on putting yourself in the moment and letting it fuel your emotions. If you get inspired and words do come to mind, write them freely without making any edits. Let your creative juices flow when you’re washing the dishes, taking a shower, driving, or going for a walk. Think about a memory, person, or emotion, or just clear your thoughts and be open to any ideas that float to the surface. If an idea for a song, melody, or lyric comes to you, write it down or record yourself using a cell phone app. Read song lyrics from a variety of genres and time periods. Take note of how artists structured verses and choruses, rhyme schemes, and rhythmic patterns. Identify the tone, notice devices like similes and metaphors, and ask yourself who the artist’s words are addressing.  Look for similarities and differences across genres and periods. Use your insights to inform your own tastes, set your musical goals, and decide the type of song you want to write. For instance, contemporary pop tracks are typically catchy, simple, and make use of repetition. Many alternative hip hop lyrics are rhythmically and thematically complex, while country lyrics often aim to tell a story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. Immerse yourself in a classic album, riveting novel, striking painting, or brilliant film. Put yourself within the work of art’s story or moment. Let it play out in your mind and trigger your emotions. If you have a particular theme in mind, look to works of art with similar tones. For instance, listening to love songs or watching a romantic drama can help you get inspired if you want to write a love song of your own. If you think better in images than words, make quick doodles or sketch a scene or feeling. Look back at your drawings and think about what’s going on in the images in front of you. Even nonsense doodles can add colorful details to song lyrics. Suppose you drew a stick figure trying to balance an elephant, piano, and sofa on top of each other. You could use that image as a metaphor or simile in a song about dealing with tons of pressure.
A: Visualize the message, theme, or moment that you want to capture. Allow your mind to wander while you’re doing routine tasks. Analyze other artist’s lyrics and song structures. Look for inspiration in music, literature, film, and other art forms. Draw pictures and imagine stories about your sketches.

Q: Sex is an important part of a healthy relationship.  With the possibility of divorce close at hand, it may be difficult to have a good sex life.  But physical and emotional intimacy go hand in hand, and both are equally important if you hope to stave off divorce.  Make time for romance.  Everyone is busy, but scheduling date nights will give you time to set the mood.  Try a romantic candle-lit dinner (either at a restaurant or at home), see a movie, or just go bowling.  Before you head to the bedroom, though, it is important to give your spouse the love and attention they have been missing.  Tell them you love them and enjoy spending time with them. Place scented candles and flowers around the bedroom.  Massage your partner’s hands, feet, and shoulders prior to intercourse.  Arousing the senses can be an important first step toward reigniting your partner’s libido. If you feel your sex life is stale, try new positions or try wearing lingerie.  You could try reading erotica to one another, or watching porn.  Take turns leading the session on alternate nights to ensure maximum variety. In addition to communicating about everyday needs and situations (“We need to do the laundry”), it is important to share your deepest fears, hopes, and dreams with your partner to build emotional intimacy.  Use phrases like “I believe...” or “I hope...” when presenting your vision of your and your spouse’s future.  Thinking about and sharing these thoughts and feelings can help you both realize that there are possibilities for your marriage beyond divorce.  Ask questions of both yourself and your spouse such as:  What great things do I think my spouse is capable of?  How can I empower them to achieve their best? Where would I like to travel to with my spouse? What am I looking forward to doing with my spouse when I retire?   Invite your spouse to share his or her dreams and desires as well.  Thinking and talking about your future together helps rectify it. Do not use these conversations to complain or engage in negative thinking. If you’re considering divorce, it’s likely there are real problems for which both of you are partially to blame.  Don’t blame your partner for all the problems in your marriage.  Have a dialogue with your spouse so you can come to a mutual understanding of what has gone wrong, and how it can be fixed.  Express the problems you perceive with “I” statements, as in “I wish we spent more time together,” as opposed to “You never want to spend time with me.”  These are less likely to be perceived as critical and will produce more positive results. When blamed unfairly, defend yourself, but don’t counterattack when criticized.  Try to see the conflict from your spouse’s point of view. Be generous with your partner in your affections and compliments.  This will help rekindle the love you once had together.  Fulfill their emotional needs first as well as their material ones.  Love your partner the way you want to be loved.  Tell your spouse you love them every day. Surprise your spouse with little gifts that they’ll enjoy.  Make dinner for them, buy them flowers, or take them shopping. It may take time to rebuild trust and affection for your partner.  Be patient and continue to work at it. Talk with your partner about occasions when they hurt or upset you.  If you wish, write the list down.  This should not be a complete list, but it should include the most painful memories or experiences that you and your partner have held onto, and which have inspired mutual resentment.  You and your partner will likely have different lists.  Talk about each incident in turn.  Each of you should acknowledge how you contributed to the misunderstanding and apologize.  Practice forgiveness even if your partner will not. Agree to make changes in your routines or interaction if you feel it will help. Make it clear that you will try your best, but it might take you some time to get used to them. Then, really try your best in implementing the promised changes and show that you are sincere.  Ask the same in return. Couples counselling with a therapist will help you work through the problems with a neutral mediator.  The therapist provides an objective point of view and can offer advice on communication strategies, conflict resolution, and general guidance on improving a problematic marriage.  Couples counselling usually lasts one hour, once a week.  Working more often with the counselor might yield more results. Group therapy is another useful type of counselling, and introduces couples going through similar periods of stress to each other for an extended discussion about how they are working through their issues.  Group therapy provides the opportunity to gain new understandings and ideas about your own relationship.
A:
Reinvigorate your sex life. Talk about your dreams and desires. Identify what needs to change. Strengthen your connection with your spouse. Let go of the past. Be open to change. Seek counselling.