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Remember that you’re an adult, too. Dealing with older family members, such as your partner’s parents, can make you feel like a child again, but it shouldn’t. If you feel like you’re being harassed or judged negatively, it’s your right to stand up for yourself.  Being assertive doesn’t have to mean being disrespectful. You can stand up for yourself while still being respectful and kind. For instance, you can assertively say, "I know you don't understand my culture, but it's important for me and Henry to celebrate this holiday. I respect your beliefs, and I'd appreciate it if you did the same for me." If you’re having trouble with a particular person, try bringing up the issue with them yourself. Taking the initiative to solve the problem will show your maturity, and they may respect you more for speaking up. It’s much better to talk through problems when they happen than to let them go unaddressed for years. Say, "When you talk over me like that Josie, it makes me feel like I don't have a voice. I'd really appreciate it if you let me finish talking before sharing your opinion." If your partner’s family frequently offers you unsolicited advice or criticism, prepare a few noncommittal responses to redirect the conversation. Practice these responses before you need to use them. This will help you stay calm and collected in the moment.  If you’re talking to someone older, a good way to handle unsolicited advice is to respond politely with something like, “How interesting!” or “What a neat story!” For instance, if your partner’s mother tells you that you should feed your kids differently, ask her how she fed her children when they were growing up. Other good go-to responses include “That’s interesting, I’ll have to try it sometime” and “Thanks for the advice, but we’ve decided to do it this way.” If you really can’t resolve your conflicts with your partner’s family, the best course of action might be to limit your contact with them. Skipping family events may be the best way to maintain peace and avoid straining your relationship with your partner. However, if you don’t want to skip family events, then you can also set a time limit for how long you will be there.  Limiting contact is probably a good idea if your partner’s family is outright abusive or disrespectful to you. People who act like this are unlikely to change their behavior.
Be confident and assertive. Talk with your partner’s family. Deflect unwanted advice or comments. Consider limiting your contact with your partner’s family.