Summarize:

You may think that people who are self-confident are never fearful. This simply is not true. Fear means you are at your growing edge.  Perhaps your fear is speaking in front of a group, introducing yourself to someone you don't know, or asking your boss for a raise.  When you are able to confront what you fear, you will gain self-confidence and you will feel the boost immediately! Imagine a baby as she learns to walk. So much possibility awaits her. But she is fearful that she will fall as she takes those first steps. When she conquers her fear, and begins walking, a huge smile covers her face! This is you, pushing past your fears too. Sometimes you go backwards to go forwards. Gaining self-confidence does not happen overnight.  You might try something new and not meet your goal. If possible, see what lessons are there. Not meeting your goal the first time around is an opportunity to learn more about yourself. Self-confidence needs to be nurtured and grown, a bit at a time.  For example, perhaps you ask your boss for a raise, and she says no. What can you learn from this? Reflect upon how you went about it. Was there something different you might have done? Like everything else in life, building self-confidence is about maintaining balance. Too little self-confidence can keep you from achieving your goals and feeling good about yourself.  On the other hand, it's important to be realistic -- you don't want to underestimate the time and effort needed to achieve your goals. If you want to build your self-confidence, then you have to focus on improving your own life for the better, not on making your life more like your best friend's, your older brother's, or like those of the celebrities you see on television. If you want to build up your confidence, then you need to know that there will always be someone who is prettier, smarter, and richer than you, just like there will always be someone who is less attractive, less intelligent, and less wealthy than you are; all of this is irrelevant, and what is relevant is caring about advancing your own goals and dreams.  You may lack confidence because you're convinced that everyone else has it better than you do. However, at the end of the day, it only matters if you're happy by your own standards. If you have no idea what those are, then it's time to do some soul searching before you move forward. Additionally, studies have found that spending time on social media often encourages people to compare themselves with others.  Because people tend to post only their triumphs and not their realities of daily life, it can seem as though the lives of others are more wonderful than your own. This is likely not true! Everyone has ups and downs in their lives. . What does that voice in the back of your mind say? What makes you uncomfortable or ashamed of yourself? This could be anything from acne, to regrets, friends at school, or a past traumatic or negative experience. Whatever is making you feel unworthy, ashamed, or inferior, identify it, give it a name, and write it down. You can then tear or burn these written pieces to start feeling positive on those points. This exercise isn't meant to bring you down. It's meant to make you aware of the problems you're dealing with, and empower you to move past them. Remember that no one is perfect. Even the most confident people have insecurities. At some point in any of our lives, we may feel we lack something. That is reality. Learn that life is full of bumps down the road. And that often these insecure feelings come and go, depending on where we are, who we are with, the mood we're in, or how we are feeling. In other words, they are not constant. If you've made a mistake, the best thing you can do is to recognize it, apologize, and make a game plan for avoiding it in the future. Don't let one wrong turn make you think you don't have what it takes to achieve your dreams. Maybe you weren't a great boyfriend and your last relationship ended as a result. This doesn't mean you're not capable of turning your act around and finding love in the future. . Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals. If you feel like everything has to be done perfectly, then you'll never be truly happy with yourself or your circumstances. Instead, work on learning to be proud of a job well done instead of wanting everything to be absolutely perfect. If you're in the mindset of a perfectionist, then you'll only be getting in the way of a more confident version of yourself. . Often at the root of insecurity and lack of confidence is a feeling of not having enough of something, whether it's emotional validation, material items, good luck, or money. By acknowledging and appreciating what you do have, you can combat the feeling of being incomplete and dissatisfied. Finding the inner peace that accompanies true gratitude will do wonders for your confidence. Take some time to sit and think about all of the things you have going for you, from your wonderful friends to your health. Sit down and make a gratitude list, writing down all of the things you are thankful for. Read it over and add to it at least once a week, and it will put you in a more positive, empowering frame of mind.
Be comfortable with fear. Be patient with yourself. Strive for balance. Stop comparing yourself to others. Recognize your insecurities Bounce back from your mistakes. Avoid perfectionism Practice gratitude