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One of the best things you can do to help your loved one is to stay calm. A person with Histrionic Personality Disorder thrives on chaos and drama. If they get dramatic or have a fit, reacting to them in a negative way will play into what they want and encourage the behavior. Instead, remain calm during these fits.  By not responding to your loved one’s dramatic actions, you help them realize that they will not get the attention they want by acting out. You may need to engage in deep breathing exercises or step away from your loved one for a few moments to collect yourself. Your loved one may engage in dramatic, attention-seeking behavior on a regular basis. One of the best ways to deal with this is to ignore it. Refrain from engaging with the behavior or reinforcing the negative behavior with attention. Your loved one has a chemical imbalance, which means they may not be able to help their behavior. Instead of getting into an argument or encouraging behavior, just ignore it and let it pass. People with HPD form intimate attachments very easily, which means they may cross physical boundaries. They may not be able to understand or respect the boundaries you have set for yourself. You may find your loved one hugs you, touches you, or invades your space more than you wish. Your loved one may interpret your actions as threatening or inappropriate. To help with this, keep physical distance between you and them.  For example, you may want to sit in a chair if your loved one is on the couch, or sit on the other end of the couch. When standing, keep a few feet between you and your loved ones. You should be mindful not to do anything that might be suggestive or interpreted as inappropriate. You don’t want your loved one to misinterpret what you are doing. Always be mindful of your boundaries. One of the main symptoms of HPD is wearing provocative clothing to get attention. This type of attire is not suitable for all situations, such as work. You can help your loved one by suggesting they dress differently for certain situations.  Make sure to start any suggestion with a compliment. Those with HPD respond extremely negatively to any criticism. By complimenting them, you can help yourself get a positive response. For example, you may say, “I really love that outfit. You should wear that tomorrow night when you go out with your friends! Why don’t you wear this to work instead today? It looks great on you, and everyone will think you look classy." Oftentimes, people with HPD will just talk or argue with people because they like the attention and drama. They may offer strong opinions while offering no support. When this happens, ask your loved one to back up his or her opinion.  For example, you may say, "What are you basing that opinion on?" or "Do you have any examples to support your opinion?" You may also say, "That doesn't sound like a correct statement. Can you give me some evidence to support your position?" If your loved one cannot support their opinion, tell them they need to only provide opinions based on facts or details. Encourage them to research issues so they can make informed opinions. Some people who have HPD are highly suggestible and will just go along with what other people say. If you notice that your loved one is blindly agreeing with people or doing what other people tell him or her to do, then try to encourage your loved one to think for him or herself.   If you notice that your loved one is agreeing with someone without evaluating the statement, then you could try asking some questions to help you loved one evaluate what the person said. For example, your loved one might repeat a political opinion as a fact because they heard someone else say it. You could then ask your loved one questions like, what is the evidence for that? How did they come to that conclusion? Why do you agree with them? If your loved one is doing something because someone has suggested it, then you can also use questioning to help. For example, your loved one might start dressing differently because someone suggested it. You might ask your loved one questions like, do you really want to do that? Would you be doing that if he or she had not suggested it? What might you be doing if he or she had not suggested that? When your loved one has HPD, you may find yourself wanting to make excuses for their behavior, cover up their behavior, or clean up any messes they have made. This is not your job, and can take a toll on you. Try not to make excuses or mediate any messes your loved one has made. This may just enable your loved one’s behavior. Your loved one’s behavior may be humiliating for you. However, learning to walk away or detach yourself may be the best way to take care of yourself. Often, people with HPD ignore solutions in favor of focusing on the drama of the problem. One way you can try to help your loved one is by encouraging them to come up with solutions and focus on problem-solving techniques instead of the problem. For example, when your loved one gets dramatic about a problem, listen to what they say about the problem. Then say, “I understand you have a problem, but dwelling on it will not help you or anyone else. Let’s work together to find a solution.” To help keep your loved one’s attention-seeking or manipulative behavior at a minimum, you should talk about or do other things with them. Don’t let your loved one dwell on problems or dominate the spotlight. Talk about yourself or suggest that the two of you do an activity together.  For example, you may want to say, “We have been talking about you for a long time now. I would like to share with you things about my life.” You can try to distract your loved one if they are in a middle of an attention-seeking or manipulative episode. You can change the subject, start watching television, or suggest that you go for a walk or to a movie. Sometimes, loved ones of those with HPD abandon the person to teach them some sort of lesson. This can arise when the person with HPD manipulates you too much or you feel nothing that you do is working. This kind of punitive behavior does not work with people with HPD, so you should avoid the temptation.  If you do this, your loved one may feel abandoned and throw a dramatic fit since you abandoned them. You may end up feeling helpless and manipulated if you try to use this kind of manipulation on your loved one. Avoid using games with your loved one. Stay direct and open with them instead.
Remain calm. Don't reward attention-seeking behavior. Put physical distance between you and your loved one. Suggest alternatives for your loved one. Ask for support when your loved one states an opinion. Encourage your loved one to evaluate what other people say. Refrain from making excuses. Help your loved one come up with solutions. Explore other things. Avoid trying to teach your loved one a lesson.