Problem: Article: If you need some space from your friend and are not comfortable talking with them about it, you may decide to opt for setting some of your own limits on how you spend time with them. Determine your comfort level and stick with it.  For example, you may decide that you are only comfortable seeing your friend when around other friends, or you may only want to talk to them in school. You could decide you want to avoid answering their calls or reading their texts. If your friend asks you why you're being distant, you could say, “I just need some space,” or “I've got a lot on my mind” and leave it at that. If your friend invites you somewhere, and you don't want to go, you could make an excuse to get out of the invitation. You could say you have a family commitment, too much homework, or are not feeling well, for example. However, keep in mind that this can get complicated, especially if you have some mutual friends. You will need to keep all of your excuses straight and this can get confusing.  If your friend says, “Hey, want to hang out this weekend?” you could say, “I'm pretty busy all weekend with work and family stuff.” Keep in mind that if your friend doesn't know you want to stop being friends with them, you may need to keep making excuses for a long time to not see them, and that can be draining, not to mention dishonest. You will eventually need to be direct with your friend and stop making excuses. Making excuses will only lead to stress, so it's important to only use this as a very short-term solution if you feel that it is necessary. Don't make up an excuse to get out of hanging out with your friend and then do something else instead. If you are saying you're sick, stay home. Don't show up at a friend's house an hour later. This makes you look dishonest to everyone. Ask your parents to “make” you stop hanging out with your friend. Have your parents help you put some distance between you and the friend. This may be easy if your parents do not like this friend.  You could tell your friend that your parents want you to spend more time on your homework, or don't want you hanging out so late on weekends -- whatever excuse you need to employ to get out of the situation. Most parents are generally okay with being perceived as the “bad guy” in order to help their kid out of a difficult situation. Talk to your parents about having problems with a friend. Tell them why you no longer want to be friends with them, giving specific examples of their behavior. Ask your parents to help you manage the situation. You could say, “Lately Tara has been really mean. She's picking fights with me, and she's hanging around with a group of kids I'm not comfortable with. I really don't want to to hang out with her outside of school anymore, so I was hoping you guys could help me. The next time she asks me to do something with her, could you help me find a way to tell her no?” Consider writing a letter if you want your friend to know how you feel, but you don't want to confront them directly. Writing a letter allows you to spend as much time as you need to get the words just the way you want them, and it also helps you make sense of your own feelings. You could say, “Dear Juan, I know you are wondering why I haven't been talking to you much lately. I thought I would write this letter to explain why.” Then you could tell your friend how you are feeling and what you would like to see happen going forward. While you may no longer like or want to be around this person, take the high road and refuse to gossip about your friend or try to turn your other friends against them. If you are no longer friends with this person because they treated you badly, it may be only a matter of time before other friends begin to see this person's true colors on their own.  If a friend of yours asks, “Why aren't you talking to Bennett?” you could say, “I really don't want to talk about him behind his back,” or “I'd like to keep it private right now.” If you need to vent about your situation, talk to someone not at all connected to your social circle. For example, reach out to a friend at another school, or your cousin who lives far away and ask if you could talk. When there is unresolved tension in a relationship, it is usually fairly awkward to be around another person. This is why speaking to your friend in person is preferable to giving them the silent treatment if at all possible. You will likely feel less uncomfortable knowing where you stand with somebody. If you are uncomfortable being around your friend, you could try moving away from them and trying to get some physical distance between the two of you. If you are hanging out in a group, try starting a separate conversation with someone else. Having a group of friends who care about and value you is important. Feeling that you belong matters, particularly if you are a teenager. If you no longer feel that you fit in or belong with your group of friends, make some new friends or find a different group of people to hang out with.  If you are friendly with a group of people you normally don't hang out with outside of school, like fellow band members or teammates, see if they want to get together outside of class or practice. If you are involved in any activities outside of school, like a part-time job or a youth group, try spending time with people you know from those places.
Summary: Set some boundaries. Make excuses. Ask your parents to set limits. Write a letter. Don't talk bad about your friend to other friends. Be prepared to feel uncomfortable around them. Find a new circle of friends.

Problem: Article: Some schools have very structured policies regarding the consequences that a student should face for breaking the rules. Others have general guidelines, but give teachers more freedom to decide on the appropriate consequences. As you are establishing your classroom rules or contract, be sure to consider the policies that are already in place at your school, and make sure your classroom rules complement them.  Do not make exceptions to school-wide policies. For example, if your school prohibits all cell phone use, do not state in your contract that cell phone are allowed at certain times. In addition to outlining the expectations you have of your students, it is important to let them know what the consequences will be if they do not meet those expectations. There should never be any surprises when it comes to punishment. Make it clear if there will be a warning for the first offence. Keep in mind that this may be appropriate for some behaviors (like talking out of turn), but not for others (like hitting another student). Remind them that they signed the contract. Then have them identify which rule they broke. Ask them to articulate why this rule is important. Finally, have them identify what the consequence for breaking the rule is. When establishing rules and consequences in your classroom, it's important to be mindful about implementing them consistently. All undesirable behavior should be dealt with in the same way, whether it comes from the worst student in class or the best. Singling out "bad kids" will only make their behavior worse, so try to make them feel like they are the same as every other student in the class. Try not to focus so much on punishing students for bad behavior that you forget to reward them for meeting your expectations. Be sure to praise students for good behavior as well. Don't rely too heavily on external rewards, like stickers or pizza parties, as the students' interest in these rewards will eventually fade. The most motivating incentive for students to follow the classroom rules is the opportunity to be a part of a great classroom community.
Summary:
Consider the school's policies. Clearly outline the consequences. Refer students who break the rules back to their contract. Treat all students equally. Reward students for making good choices.