Summarize:

Typically if a guy is playing you, he will become very affectionate or physical when he wants to have sex with you. At that point, he probably goes from 0-60 pretty quickly. But up to that point, he was probably not very affectionate. He would not have seemed interested in holding your hand. He didn’t put his arm around because he wanted to. And he didn’t gaze into your eyes when you were just hanging out the two of you without the possibility of sex. Also, he isn’t affectionate with you around his friends or family.  Some exceptions to this could be on the first dates or if you are somewhere exciting or new or out of town. These guys might have been very affectionate at the beginning or might become affectionate occasionally when they are having a lot of fun. Some guys will use affection at every chance they get because that is their personality. These guys typically have upbeat personalities and are extroverted. If he often seems to be absorbed in something else like his phone, games, or his friends while you hang out, he might not be truly interested in you. Or if he seems to be slightly bored or uninterested in the things you say, he is probably not invested in the relationship. Or it could also be the opposite. He might pay you a ton of attention while you are together but this only happens when it is convenient for him to see you. Also, something might feel weird or unnatural to you about the attention that he gives you. Does he seem to remember the things that you say? If he likes you, he probably recalls the things you have told him easily. If he isn’t into you, he may not remember the things you tell him. It can be helpful to think about guys in the past who have been really into you and compare his behavior to the guy you think might be playing with your feelings. Some examples of what guys are like if they really like you are if a guy is clearly excited to be around you, or he might be shy when you talk. He would make a lot of eye contact or less eye contact than normal, and he would hang around you longer than necessary. If a guy likes you, he seems interested in talking to you more than other people, and he asks about what you are doing and tries to see you again. He might seem nervous and forget things around you. For example, if you are talking about music and he forgets the name of his favorite band, this is a guy who is interested in you. If the guy you are seeing now doesn’t seem very into you, you might be with someone who is using you. If you are being played, the guy may seem really excited about texting you one day and pretty aloof for the next few days after that. He will seem to be able to turn his feelings for you off and on without a problem. On the other hand, if you are seeing someone who is interested in you, his emotions are in the game. He will care about what is going on with you and will become upset when you are upset. He will want you to like him, and he will seem excited when you show your feelings for him and upset if he doesn’t think you like him. Other people are great indicators of what is going on because they can give you a fresh and outside perspective of the situation. Tell your friends what is going on and ask them if it seems like he is into you. You can analyze a lot of parts of your relationship, but what you should mainly ask is: “Does he seem into me?”. That is the heart of the situation. If they don’t seem to think he is into you, he probably isn’t you the way you are into him. Tell your friends the stripped down, bullet point version of what has happened and use concrete examples of things he has said or done. For example, you could say “We have hung out for the past 5 weeks, and he usually hangs out with me about every 10 days. We have never hung out on a weekend, and I have not met his friends. He seems to hang out with them all of the time but never says exactly what they are doing and doesn’t invite me. When we do go out, he doesn’t hold my hand or seem affectionate until the end of the night.” There may be guys who are not interested in you the same way you are interested in them, and that is okay- it happens to everyone. Unrequited love is hard to deal with, but that isn’t playing with your feelings, necessarily, even if your feelings get hurt. The difference between someone who just isn’t interested in you and someone who is playing you is whether he is transparent about his feelings and intentions. If you feel like he has been honest about who he is, about his motivations, and the about other people he is seeing, then you should treat him well, but distance yourself from him if you feel more for him than he feels for you.  On the other hand, a guy who is playing you is secretive, purposefully vague and tries to keep your attention by playing games. These guys don’t want you to be a real part of their lives, but might hint at having you become a bigger part of his life in the future to string you along. However, he has never comes through and invites you to meet his friends or family. If it seems like he is seeing other people and he has never told you that but seems to hint (or say) that you are the only girl he sees, he is probably playing you. You might notice that he is on dating websites or that he gets really ambiguous when talking about the things he does or the people he sees.
Pay attention to how he is affectionate with you. Notice how much he pays attention to you. Compare this guy to a guy who has really liked you in the past. Think about whether he seems emotionally attached to you. Talk to other people about the situation. Think about whether he is honest with you.