Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Don't wait around for change to happen. Pick your battles. Have empathy. Forgive your mom for past hurts. Tell her how you feel. Seek counseling for major issues.

Answer: If you want to change the relationship you have with your mom, don't be afraid to take the first step. IF both of you are waiting for the other one to initiate change, nothing will ever happen.  Sometimes changing the relationship requires changing yourself. For example, if your relationship with your mother is strained because you have betrayed her trust, work on becoming more responsible and earning that trust back. The longer you wait to resolve conflicts, the worse they will become, so deal with your issues as soon as possible. Some things just aren't worth arguing over, so don't let these small things get in the way of the healthy relationship you are trying to build. If you are tempted to start arguing with your mom about something, take a moment to consider whether you would be better off just letting it go.  This is usually the best strategy for small, inconsequential things. For example, if you and your mom disagree about what kind of party you should throw for your dad's birthday, you may want to just let it slide. Don't just brush aside issues that are really important to you. For example, if you and your mom disagree about what you should study at college, you should not disregard your own opinions just to avoid a conflict. No matter what the problems between you and your mom may be, try to look at the situation from her perspective and understand how she must feel. Being empathetic will help you get past quarrels that you have had with your mom and move on.  Always take a moment to think about why your mom might feel the way she does. Keep in mind that her various life experiences will influence her opinions. Doing your best to understand where she is coming from is a great way to start having more empathy for your mom. It's important to keep in mind that your mom is a human being who makes mistakes, just like you. Don't expect her to be perfect. No matter what has happened between you and your mom in the past, you have the power to forgive her. Forgiving does not mean that you are condoning your mother's actions, but merely that you are willing to move past these actions and not let them interfere with your present-day relationship.  If you want to let your mom know that you forgive her for something, be straightforward about it. For example, you might say something like, "I want to let you know that I was really hurt when you said negative things about my boyfriend, but I forgive you and I'd like to move on." Try to avoid bringing up conflicts from the past in present arguments. You can encourage your mother to forgive you as well. If your mother says or does something that hurts you, it's important to let her know how it made you feel. This will allow you to talk it out and resolve the issue before it turns into a big conflict.   When you do this, avoid insulting your mother or accusing her of anything. Using "I" statements can help you focus on your feelings instead of her actions. For example, consider saying, "I feel like you are disappointed in me when you say things like that" instead of, "You never appreciate anything I do for you." If your mom lets you know that something you did or said hurt her, it's important to be understanding and try to work with her to correct the issue. If you and your mom aren't able to repair your relationship on your own, you may want to consider seeing a counselor together. A neutral party may be able to help you understand the obstacles that are keeping you from having the kind of relationship you want with your mom.


Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Give your partner time and space to respond. Accept rejection if it occurs. Accept support if it is offered. Keep talking or keep trying.

Answer: Few people will immediately reject you and walk away when informed that you have a mental illness, and, if so, good riddance.  Many people will offer immediate support and a strong desire to continue the relationship, but that enthusiasm may wane before long.  Don’t discount your prospective partner’s immediate reaction to your revelation, but also allow some time for the fuller picture to be revealed. Offer the other person time to think as you are making your revelation:  “I know this is a lot to take in, and I don’t expect you to make any decisions about our relationship right this second.  Take some time to think about what we’ve discussed, and take a look at these materials on my condition if you’d like.” Even if the odds are low that your prospective partner will break things off with you on the spot, it is possible that your mental illness revelation will trigger the end of the relationship.  If this happens, don’t regret that you told the other person; regret that this person was too scared, selfish, or uninformed to see that your mental illness does not wholly define you and that a meaningful relationship was possible.  You should actually be relieved that you found out your prospective partner couldn’t handle your truth before things got more serious.  That doesn’t mean being rejected won’t hurt, though.  Seek out the solace of your “mental health team” of friends, loved ones, and professionals. The end of a budding relationship doesn’t prove that your mental illness makes you undateable.  Instead, it shows just how much you are like everyone else trying to find a lasting, healthy, romantic partnership. It is difficult to handle being dumped because you have a mental illness.  It can also be difficult to accept the help and support of your new romantic partner.  You don’t have to feel like you are becoming a burden or asking too much of a new significant other.  Accept this display of generosity graciously and take it as a sign of growth in your relationship.  The other person will probably make a general offer like “I want to be there for you.  Let me know what I can do to help.”  If so, don’t be afraid to specify what you do need and want.  If it was a false offer, you’ll find out soon enough. If the other person starts saying things like “I know this doctor you have to see” or “You need to try this herbal supplement I’ve heard about,” you don’t need to feel obligated to accept this type of help.  You need to remain in control of how you address your mental illness. If the other person is genuinely supportive of your status and eager to continue the relationship, you should be eager to make your revelation an ongoing discussion.  Your mental illness will continue to be with you, and you will go through ups and downs, so keep your new partner informed with regular chats about your condition and your feelings. If things don’t turn out so well and the relationship ends, get back out there and give it another try with someone else (and someone better).  It will never be easy to reveal your mental illness to a new romantic interest, but you will become more comfortable doing so over time.


Problem: Write an article based on this summary: Distract yourself. Keep a diary. Avoid ineffective short-term strategies. Face your fears. Manage stress. Reflect on the likelihood of bad things happening. Practice meditation. Try progressive muscle relaxation (PMR). Schedule a set time to worry.

Answer:
Doodle, play Solitaire, listen to music, dance, watch a movie, or play video games. By engaging in these sorts of tasks, your mind will focus elsewhere and you may stop thinking about your obsession. Keep in mind, however, that this is a temporary way to lessen your obsessive thoughts, but it is not a long-term or meaningful solution. Writing down how you feel is also a healthy method to express an emotion. It's also important in keeping track of your thoughts. Whenever you have a day when you haven't thought about that something so much, note this in your diary. It reminds you that you can defeat your obsession. Make sure you note the situation that gives rise to the thought. You can put a separate heading for this in your journal so you don't forget.  A diary is also a good way to get a sense of what triggers your mental preoccupation. This is important for when it comes time to deal with overcoming your obsessive thoughts.  Keep in mind, however, that simply writing down your thoughts can encourage rumination, or that negative "broken record loop" of repeating the same thought. It's important to reflect on your thoughts by asking what caused them, what you were doing when they happened, and how you think you can make changes.  If you find yourself ruminating in your journal, too, try to catch yourself. Instead of repeating the same thoughts, start reflecting on where they came from and why you keep circling the same idea or thought.  Challenge negative thoughts when you catch them. If you are preoccupied with the thought that no one likes you, examine the evidence for an against this thought. Evidence "for" might be "I asked out that cute guy at the coffee shop and he said no." Evidence against might be, "I know my friends and family like me and think I'm great. Last week a stranger asked me for my number at the bus stop. I dated my last boyfriend for two years and he really cared about me." There are methods people often use to combat intrusive and obsessive thoughts that are ineffective in the long-term. Say, for example, you have a thought about strangling your pet with rope, and you are afraid that this strange thought that is popping into your head means you are a bad person. You may be tempted to engage in certain behaviors that provide you with temporary relief from the thought. These kinds of behaviors, which should be avoided because they only provide very temporary relief and won't get to the root of the problem, include:  Checking. For example, checking to make sure that all your rope is locked away in the garage so that you can't act out your intrusive unwanted thought. Avoidance. For example, avoiding your pet entirely so you have no chance of acting out your unwanted thought. Seeking reassurance. For example, you might take your pet to the vet more often than necessary to make sure that it's okay and you haven't accidentally harmed it. A strategy that works well in the long-term is something called exposure and response prevention (ERP). ERP is a method where you expose yourself to scenarios that typically bring about your obsessive thoughts while refraining from any engagement with ineffective short-term strategies such as checking or avoidance.  You must first identify the triggers that bring about your obsessive thoughts. Continuing with the pet example, is it seeing your pet? Hearing your pet? Being in a certain room? If you find yourself having difficulty refraining from using short-term strategies such as checking or avoidance, tell yourself you will just delay using them for thirty seconds. You might find that after thirty seconds, you're willing to tell yourself you can delay another thirty seconds and so on until you are actually refraining from their usage. Obsessive thoughts can be brought on or made worse by stress. Do your best to reduce your stress levels by trying out the following:   Eat healthy foods, such as lean means, fruits, veggies, and above all, consume things in moderation and have a balanced diet.  Get a good night's sleep. Get a sense of how many hours a night of sleep you need to feel fully rested the next day, and aim to get that amount every night. Seek social support and reach out to them often. Reduce your intake of caffeine and other stimulants, as they can cause or worsen anxiety. Avoid alcohol and drugs as a coping response to deal with anxiety or your obsessive thoughts. This will more often than not backfire. At the very least it won't help you solve your problems in any meaningful, long-lasting way. Try stress-relieving exercise, such as yoga or aerobic exercise like running. Sometimes negative thoughts arise from things that are actually really unlikely to happen. Maybe you're obsessed with the thought that the plane you're about to go on is going to crash. To combat such thinking, remind yourself about the thousands of planes that take flight and land successfully every day. This will remind you just how rare such events are. Keep in mind that you only hear in the news about planes that crash, you don't hear about planes that land successfully. This can throw off how probable you view crashes to be. Instead of working to avoid your obsessive thoughts, meditative techniques can emphasize embracing your thoughts. The key is to let any thoughts come to mind and to view them neutrally, without passing judgment on them. Try to observe them as if you are someone else watching you think. Another important aspect of mindfulness meditation involves paying attention to your breathing. Take a deep breath in and hold for a few seconds and then exhale over a few seconds. Gently observe your breath going in and out while remaining calm. Sometimes anxiety is fueled by the tenseness of the body. You can reduce this tension, and thereby reduce your anxiety and obsessive thoughts, by learning to relax your body. PMR involves removing the tension from one muscle group at a time. To practice PMR:  As you take a deep breath in, apply tension to a specific muscle group or part of your body by flexing or tightening the area. As you exhale, slowly reduce the tension by reducing how hard you are squeezing/flexing the muscles. The muscles will become looser at this point if done correctly. Repeat the process with different muscle groups until you feel more relaxed and your obsessive thinking has subsided. Set aside 20 or so minutes a day where you allow yourself to be alone with your thoughts. Ruminate away and worry all you want during this period. This can work so long as you have an agreement with yourself that outside those scheduled 20 minutes, you will not worry! Try experimenting by changing the time of day you schedule worry-time for yourself. You may find that this technique is most effective at a particular time of day, for example, either at night or in the morning.