Q: Wanting to know your origins isn’t a sign of disloyalty to your family, whether they’re your birth family or adoptive. It is very common for adoptees to want to understand their personal histories, and research suggests that this knowledge can improve a person’s well-being. Has some particular event or experience prompted to you ask these questions? Have you always felt a little different from the rest of your family? It’s natural as you grow up to feel somewhat disconnected from your parents, or to feel sometimes as though you have nothing in common with them. It’s also common to feel like you are different or an outsider during adolescence. While these feelings may be stronger for adoptive children, almost everyone experiences them at some point. Do you want simply to know whether or not you were adopted? Do you want the story of how you came to be adopted? Do you want to search for your biological parents? Do you want to contact your biological relatives, or do you just want to know who they are? Understanding what you want from the situation will help you as you talk with your family. While the number of “open” adoptions (adoptions with some level of contact between the biological and adoptive families) has risen dramatically over the past few years, many people still feel uncomfortable talking about adoption with their children or with other adults. Even if your family wants to talk to you about this issue, they may not know how. Stigma is particularly likely if the adoption occurred under certain circumstances, such as a teenaged mother giving up her child for adoption or an intra-family adoption. This is an obvious step, but it can be very difficult. Keep your parents’ feelings in mind as you ask questions, but be open with them about your feelings too. It’s probably a good idea to approach your parents first, if they are still living, rather than going to other family members. Many family members may wish to respect your parents’ wishes and could feel uncomfortable sharing information with you if you haven’t talked with your parents first. Once you’ve gathered your information, you may feel overwhelmed by the need to ask your questions, but wait for an appropriate time. Avoid bringing up this sensitive topic after a fight, for example, or when someone is sick or tired. Ideally, everyone should feel calm and relaxed. ” Adoption is a very sensitive subject and is likely to provoke emotional responses in everyone. Writing down some of your questions and ideas beforehand will help you determine what you want to say and how you want to say it, and it can help you avoid hurting anyone’s feelings. Some parents don’t discuss adoption with their child because they are afraid that their interest in their biological family will damage the family. Opening by affirming your love for your parents will help prevent them from feeling defensive or attacked. Explain to your parents what has led you to think that you may be adopted. Try to avoid using accusations or definitive statements such as “I know I’m adopted because my eyes are blue.” Understand that this discussion may be very difficult for your parents, especially if they have waited a long time to share this information with you. Pressing for too much information too quickly could overwhelm them. Try asking questions that prompt discussion, such as “What can you tell me about where I come from?” A question such as “Would you like to talk with me about where I come from?” may meet with a better reaction than “Why didn’t you tell me I was adopted?” Try to avoid using words like “real” when asking about your origins. Questions such as “Who were my real parents?” can make your adoptive parents feel devalued or hurt. It’s natural to feel confused or even hurt about discovering you were adopted, particularly if your parents have kept that information from you for a long time. However, it’s important that you avoid being judgmental or angry with them, as this will only hinder clear and honest communication between you. You don’t have to constantly reassure your family that you appreciate them, but offering an example or two of something that makes you feel connected to them can help let your family know that you aren’t looking to replace them. Many adoptees say that they feel that their personal values, sense of humor, and goals were shaped by their adoptive parents, so these could be a good place to start. The adoption conversation can be a very hard conversation to have, and you may not learn everything you want to know immediately. If your parents are visibly uncomfortable or become upset, try saying something like “I can see that this question may have upset you. Would you prefer to talk about this later?” Don’t assume that silence means that your family doesn’t want to talk about your adoption. They may just need a few minutes to figure out how to approach the subject. If your family kept information about your adoption from you, even for just a few years, it may be very difficult for them to overcome their fear and anxiety about discussing it. It may take several talks before you reach a point where you can learn what you want to know. Many therapists are specifically trained to help adoptive families overcome issues and challenges unique to adoption situations, and seeing one doesn’t mean your family is broken. A family therapist may be able to help your family talk about adoption in a helpful, healthy way. You can ask other people in your family about your adoption and your connection with them using similar techniques to those above. You may even discover a deeper emotional connection with them now that they know you know your whole story.
A: Understand that your feelings are normal. Explore why this has become an important issue for you. Ask yourself some questions about what you want. Understand that adoption is often still stigmatized. Approach your parents with your questions. Choose an appropriate time for your conversation. Create a “cheat sheet. Begin by telling your family that you love them but you have some questions. Be honest with your family. Start with general questions. Keep your questions and statements open-ended and non-judgmental. Avoid judgment as much as possible. Reiterate your connection with your adoptive family. Read the situation. Be patient. Consider seeing a family therapist. Talk with other family members.

Q: Once you're certain that your brackets can hold your rod, remove it to attach your curtains. Most rods have stops at the end to prevent the curtains from falling off. Screw off one stop so you can slide on the curtains and secure them to the rod. Some curtains are attached to the rod by curtain rings while others are threaded directly through the rod. Consult the instruction manual your curtains came with if you're unsure. After you've attached the curtains, screw the stop back onto the end of your rod. Hang your curtain rod back onto the brackets to assess how your curtains look. If your measurements were correct and the brackets installed at a level angle, your curtains should enhance the look of your window. If your curtains are too heavy for the brackets, you may need heavy-duty brackets or a rod with added support. Cut your fabric slightly longer than your desired length, then pin your fabric up with needles. Use a sewing machine to hem the curtain in a straight, even line. Make your hem 1 inch (2.5 cm) longer than you expect you'll need to avoid shortening your curtains too much. If the curtain rods are uneven, your curtains may appear crooked or uneven. Measure your curtain rod with a level again and re-adjust the brackets as needed until the rods are straight.
A:
Remove your rod to hang the curtains. Add the curtains onto the rod. Put the rod back into place. Hem your curtains if they remain too long.Take your curtains to a local seamstress or hem the fabric yourself. Check your curtains for crookedness.