Article: On the flip-side of negative self-talk, is the one surefire way to combat berating yourself, positive self-talk. First, notice and catch yourself - when you have a negative thought change that thought in that very moment to something more positive. Think of your negative thoughts as a parrot that keeps repeating unhelpful things over and over to you. You can choose to listen to the parrot, or tell the parrot that he’s wrong! You can use affirmations such as, “I can do this. This will pass. I can be angry and still deal with this. Right now I am safe. I will learn from this and it will be easier next time.”  Now that you have a list of negative self-talk patterns, you can identify ways to turn those negative thoughts into positive or more realistic ones. For example, if you think, “I’m so stupid,” when you drop something or make a mistake, you can immediately tell yourself, “That’s not a nice thought about myself. I’m not stupid. It’s okay that I made a mistake and I will focus on doing better next time.” In this way, you are having a conversation with yourself. The more you do this, the better you will become at correcting your negative thoughts. You can use a self-compassion thought record sheet to organize your ideas. With this, you can identify your: triggering events, feelings or images, unhelpful thoughts and images, feelings, self-compassionate alternatives to unhelpful thoughts and images (i.e. what would you say to a friend in this situation?), understanding of your change in feelings and what you did that helped. Anxiety influences and increases negative self-talk. The more anxious you are, the more critical you may be about yourself. One of the best ways to stay calm is to use relaxation or deep-breathing techniques. Sit in a comfortable position with your eyes closed. Breathe slowly and deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth. Focus solely on your breathing and how it feels throughout your body, especially the movement of your diaphragm/stomach in and out as you breathe. Do this for a few minutes or until you feel more relaxed. Sometimes, you may berate yourself through your interpretation of how others think of you. This practice is a common thought pattern called mind-reading. This means you believe you know what others are thinking. The problem is, you can’t mind-read so you don’t really know what they are thinking. Make a conscious decision to stop trying to live up to how you think others expect you to act. It can be quite liberating. If you find yourself thinking that others have negative thoughts about you, ask yourself, “Am I assuming that I know how others are thinking? What’s the evidence? Those are my own thoughts. Is there another, more balanced way of looking at it?
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Use positive self-talk to quiet your inner critic. List alternative positive thoughts. Practice deep-breathing to reduce anxiety. Worry less about what others think.

You can continue dating your girlfriend, even when you are in a relationship. Regularly go one dates with her to the movies, park, or dinner. A date doesn’t have to cost anything to be enjoyed. It’s the thought that matters. You can also plan a special date for her. It can be just because or for an occasion. Keep in mind her interests and things you enjoy doing together when planning a date.  Going on a hike to someplace beautiful is a great way to spend time together without spending too much money. Cook her dinner and plan to watch her favorite movie. The effort will mean more than taking her out to a fancy restaurant. You do not have to constantly give her gifts, but it is thoughtful to give her a surprise gift or a gift for a special occasion. You can make her a gift, like a painting or scrapbook with photos and memories of your relationship. It is also an option to make the gift something that you can do together, like attending a ballet or sports game she has dreamed of going to.  Keep in mind things that she points or mentions that she would like to have. Write them down to remember them. A great gift can be something like writing a poem or song to her. The small, mundane things are important too because they occur far more often than special occasions. If she is having a busy day, help her clean her room, kitchen, or bathroom. Offer to clean or do laundry for her, or make it something you can do together. Run a simple errand for her, like picking up milk if she ran out of it. You can also make a day of running errands together. Spend a free day during the weekend catching up on each other’s errands, like getting groceries, paying bills, and shopping. Exploring new places and parts of life is a great bonding experience that will strengthen your relationship. It can be something neither of you have done, or something only one of you haven’t experienced before. You can get ideas for what to do by listening to her talk about things she would like to experience, or you can do something that is meaningful to you or her.  Take a road trip to a place neither of you have visited before. Taking trips together is a good way of getting to know your girlfriend or boyfriend better, even if you have been together for a while. Maybe seeing The Nutcracker is a cherished part of her childhood, but you have never been. That is something you can do together. If going to see a baseball team is something you love but she has never gone to a game, invite her to go with you. Show up to events that she takes part in. It might be a work event, wedding, game, or show. Supporting her in whatever she does will show how much you care for her. You can also invite her to events in her life. Letting her know that you want her there for support is a good way of showing that she is a part of your life.  Ask her before attending a game or show she is performing in if she is shy. Surprise her by showing up if you think it will make her happy. Accept her invitation if possible if she invites you to an event. If you can’t go, tell her that you wish you could and express your disappointment. Send her flowers or a note the day of the event to show encouragement from afar.
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One-sentence summary --
Plan a date. Choose a thoughtful gift. Help her with chores. Do something new with her. Attend her events.