Summarize:

A person who is truly emotionally intelligent will be an adept listener.  Rather than dominating the conversation, cutting people off, or constantly interjecting, you will note that they are thoughtfully engaged in listening to the other person.  Often times, they will summarize what the person has just said to them to signal that they understand and hear them.  You might hear them say things like “so what I’m hearing is that it’s not the job that you don’t like, it’s the miscommunication from the staff that bothers you.” They will also be able to manage any intense emotions that they might feel so that they can communicate clearly. Emotionally intelligent people are typically also highly empathetic.  Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.  A person who is empathetic is likely to ask a lot of questions and display curiosity and genuine concern when someone is upset or having an issue.  You will likely see them consoling others when they are crying. People often go to them when they are having an issue and want support.  Notice the people in your circle whom others tend to flock to. Another testament of those with EI is being gracious and thoughtful.  This can be evidenced through both physical actions and verbal responses.  For instance, the person who regularly leaves their trash for others to clean up is likely not emotionally intelligent.  Likewise, the person who constantly talks about how great their significant other is with a coworker who is undergoing a divorce is likely not EI. Someone who is EI will also have good boundaries. They will not try to impose themselves emotionally on other people and they will not take advantage of other people. A person with EI will steer away from gossip and speaking negatively about others, unless necessary.  If you regularly hear them bashing others or notice that they tend to be in the middle of drama, then this person is likely not emotionally intelligent.  EI people tend to be very honest but not unnecessarily blunt. Though they will not bash someone, they are also not ignorant to the shortcomings or negative qualities of others. If you work with this person, you can easily assess how much of a team player they are.  Reflect on the times that you have had to complete projects with them and whether or not it was a smooth process.  Note also how well they kept their promises related to deadlines. Note whether they bicker with others or manage to keep the peace. Note how they deal with change. People who are EI are also more adaptable to change. They will not complain, balk, or refuse to adapt. They will recognize other people’s perspectives and reasons for change.
Pay attention to their listening skills. Notice empathy. Pay attention to courtesy and conscientiousness. Assess how they talk about others. Notice how they work and get along with others.