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Identify your feelings and reasons for wanting to end the friendship. Write down your reasons on a sheet of paper. When you are writing down your reasons, make sure to use “I” statements, instead of “you” statements.  Changing or wanting to move in a new direction with your life could be legitimate reasons for breaking up the friendship. Feeling like you have been taken advantage of for a very long time is another legitimate reason to end the friendship. Not being able to trust your friend because they have lied to you on numerous occasions could also be a reason to end the friendship. Having incompatible or conflicting interests, morals, or ideals could also be reasons for ending a lifelong friendship. Having outgrown one another. You don’t have anything in common anymore. Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Your friend may be totally surprised by the conversation, or feel saddened and start to cry.  Or perhaps they will become frustrated, defensive, or hostile. Understanding how your friend will react will help you frame the conversation.  For example, try to start the conversation on a positive note or start with cheery small talk if you think your friend may cry or become defensive. If you think your friend may get angry, then start out by telling them how much you respect them as a person. But only tell them this if you mean it. If they have broken your trust or taken advantage of you, then you may not respect them anymore. Write down a paragraph or two of what you would like to say and how you would like to say it. Rehearse what you want to say in front of a mirror. Practicing in front of the mirror will help you feel and sound confident about your reasons for ending the friendship. If you have a trusted partner or family member, use them as a sounding board. Pretend as if they are your friend and rehearse what you will say. They will be able to tell you how you sound and if your message is coming across the way you want it to.
Identify and write down your reasons. Anticipate your friend’s reaction. Rehearse the conversation.