Summarize the following:
A lot of the time, when people accuse you of being a “nice guy” like it’s a negative thing, they’re really trying to say that you are a pushover. The problem, in this case, isn’t being nice, but being unassertive. Think about the times that you’ve been accused of being a nice guy and reflect on what the subtext of the occasion was. It is possible that your issue is actually a lack of confidence or an inability to assert yourself. If potential partners turn you down when you ask them out, take “nice guy” to mean exactly what it is. When someone says, “I’m sorry, I’m not interested in dating right now. You’re a really nice guy though!” they mean what they’re saying. There’s no code to crack with these comments. In a private setting, ask one of your close friends or family members for some input. Say, “Do you think I’m too nice? I’ve been accused of being a nice guy.” Emphasize that you really want some brutal honesty to get their feedback. This is the best way to get an impartial perspective on whether you need to change something or not. You may simply be overthinking things. Being a nice guy isn’t really a detriment, and you may just be taking things too personally. “Nice” doesn’t always mean “boring,” “soft,” or “weak.” It can also mean that you’re kind, honest, and pleasant to be around. If you get called a nice guy all the time, consider the fact that it’s actually a compliment, not an insult. Even if it doesn’t feel like a positive right now, nice guys don’t finish last in life. Pleasant people tend to have successful relationships, tons of hobbies, and plenty of friends. Look at being a nice guy as a good thing and don’t be too hard on yourself. If a friend or partner accuses you of being “too nice” like it’s a bad thing, recognize that it has more to do with them than you. Ignore it and move on.
Consider whether niceness is really the problem. Ask your friends and family for some honest feedback. Recognize that being nice isn’t actually a bad thing.