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Everyone has different parenting styles and sometimes you’ll come across children who are used to an environment with fewer rules than you’re comfortable with. To help the difficult child adapt to the rules in your babysitting environment, it’s wise to thoroughly explain your rules, age permitting.  It’s a good idea to sit down with both the parents and the child when explaining the rules so the child knows you’re all on the same page. Depending on the age of the child, try sitting them down and saying something like “One rule is that you keep your hands to yourself at all times because I don’t want you to hurt anyone, or get hurt by anyone.” This works well if the child is old enough to understand cause and effect, typically adequate for children ages 5-10. A 2-year-old for example, may not understand why they aren't allowed to do something, but can understand the word "no" and be redirected to another activity. After you’ve explained your rules and the reasoning behind them, have the child assist you in making a rule chart that you can refer to when they start to act out. If the child is old enough to read, have them recite the rule they are breaking whenever they misbehave.  Grab some construction paper and markers and have them help you write out a numbered list of the rules. You can even let them decorate the chart. Bring the chart with you whenever you babysit and put it somewhere visible to the child. When they break one of the rules, stop them and say “Tommy, remember rule number 3? What does it say?” Point to the rule on your chart and have them recite why it is off limits. You could offer a reward if the child follows the rules and behaves well. After you’ve explained what is expected from them and why it’s expected, tell the child what kind of repercussion will occur if one of your rules is broken.  You can say something like “If you put your hands on someone else, you will be sent to time out.” Or "If you throw a tantrum, you will not be allowed to watch TV." Some sample punishments are taking away desserts, taking away a particular privilege (time with electronics), stopping whatever activity they are doing (don’t allow them to finish their craft), or taking away TV time or time playing outside. If the child is older, say 11-13, more effective punishments might include something like taking away their cell phone, tablet, or favorite video game. The first time you allow a rule to be broken without the consequence you promised would follow, the child learns they can get away with acting out. Handling difficult children is all about consistency. If your rule chart says that talking back to adults will result in not being able to watch TV; you MUST turn off the TV. Even if you were in the middle of a show that you actually liked, the consequence must be followed through, or the difficult child won’t take any of your rules seriously. You don’t want the child to only associate you with rules and consequences, or they could begin resenting your presence. Try bringing a toy, treat, or new activity with you to each babysitting session. This will create excitement for your time together and can be used as another tool for maintaining the rules. Explain to the child that you’re not obligated to bring gifts or fun things to do, and if they misbehave, you will stop. For example, bake some cookies to bring with you. Before letting Tommy have one, look him in the eyes and say “I like to bring goodies for you, but I don’t have to. These cookies are only for when you’re behaving nicely. If you break a rule, you won’t get any, and I won’t bring anything next time. Do you understand?”
Explain the rules and their reasoning. Make a rule chart. Explain the consequences of broken rules. Follow through with the consequences. Come bearing gifts.