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In some cases, a relative may have been unintentionally invited. Maybe you accidentally selected their name while setting up an event on Facebook. Or, maybe you talked about an event in their presence and they assumed they were invited. Whatever the case, you might be able to make up an excuse for having to disinvite them. Say, “Jessica, I clicked your name by accident when setting up the page for Samantha’s baby shower. It would have been nice for you to come, but we have to keep the guest list under 15 people. I’m sorry that this happened.” If an invitation was extended without your permission, do apologize for the miscommunication. You might say, “Hey, Derrick. Ronnie told me that he mentioned the party to you last week. He shouldn’t have done that. Our guest list is very exclusive. I’m sorry for this mix up.” Even better, you might suggest that the person who made the mistake deal with the situation. Tell them, “I saw Regina the other day and she’s under the impression that she’s invited to the party. She tends to drink too much, and I’m worried that she will make a scene. Can you please uninvite her?” Some family members automatically assume they are allowed at any event hosted by their relatives. Maybe they never got a formal invitation but have plans to attend. Let them down gently. For example, you overhear your cousin talking about what she will wear to your bridal shower. You might say, “Oh, Candice, I didn’t realize you were planning to come. The shower next weekend is going to be just for coworkers. But, I’d love to get together with you some other time, just the two of us.” The worst outcome of uninviting one guest is to have other guests refuse to come out of solidarity. Depending on how important their presence is to you, you may try to convince them to come. However, don’t allow yourself to be coerced into having an annoying guest in attendance. Stand firm in your decision, even if it means a few people not agreeing with you.
Explain that your guest list is limited. Apologize for someone who spoke on your behalf. Be firm with those who invite themselves. Anticipate having other guests boycott the event.