Recognize that different people react to life situations differently. Even if you have been through a similar situation as your friend, avoid saying something like “Oh, it won’t feel so bad after a while. When I went through this, I ___” Your friend wants her feelings acknowledged not minimized.  Show empathy instead. Empathy involves acknowledging the other person’s painful feelings by trying to put yourself in her shoes. Even if you think you know what it’s like, refrain from generalizing what the experience is like To your friend, this is new, raw, and painful. To offer support and empathy, say “I can see that you are hurting. I wish there was something I could do.” When we see people we love hurting, a common reaction is to rush to find a solution. However, in some cases, the only factors that can lessen the pain are time or hope. Yes, you may feel powerless about not being able to offer some practical help to your friend, but she will appreciate your presence much more than your advice. During hard times, people resort to unhelpful platitudes that offer no comfort, but only make the circumstances worst. Avoid these unsupportive, straight-from-greeting-cards comments:  Everything happens for a reason Time heals all wounds It was meant to be It could be worse What’s done is done The more things change, the more they stay the same Offering to pray for your friend or telling her to pray, may seem like a harmless gesture. However, if your friend is an atheist or agnostic, she may not be soothed by religious practices. Try to meet your friend where she is and offer your presence and comfort in a way that is comfortable to her.
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One-sentence summary -- Don’t pretend you understand. Keep your advice to yourself. Swallow your empty clichés. Question how spiritual consolation will be received by your friend.


Build trust by sharing your thoughts and feelings freely with him. Ask the same of him. Your relationship will grow in strength and health if you are honest with one another.  Communicate your expectations with your spouse. Tell him what you need from him, and ask him to tell you the same. Understand that men and women have been created to be different, physically and emotionally, and each has a distinct role within a Muslim marriage. Study the Qur'an and Sunnah to better understand your and your husband's rights and responsibilities to each other. You don't both have to do all the same work, but make sure that you both take on the responsibility of making your home a clean and pleasant place. The Prophet ﷺ used to help with chores. Some partners may need to be reminded to help around the house. If your husband does not notice when things are messy, consider asking him to be in charge of particular chores. Get out and enjoy life! A good friendship makes for a happy partnership. Share what you like with your spouse, and explore what he enjoys as well. Find things you both like, and make regular dates to do those activities.  Try new things together. You probably both have games, trips, sports or adventures you've wanted to do but haven't yet done. Take turns leading expeditions and organizing new activities. Have fun at home. If you have kids, play with them together. Think up new ways to entertain them with your husband. Encourage your kids to learn about Islam and teach them to pray. All couples have occasional arguments. Try not to let them escalate into yelling or name-calling. Take deep breaths, stay calm, and use "I" statements when you are in an argument.  For instance, if you are angry, say "I feel upset that…" instead of saying "You're mean and you make me angry!" The Prophet ﷺ said to his wife Hazrat Ayesha, "Show gentleness, for if gentleness is found in anything, it beautifies it and when it is taken out from anything it damages it.”  Break rising tension by reminding yourself (and your husband) to avoid the influence of the Shaytan. Say something like, "Love, let's not give in to the Shaytan. Can we discuss this when we are both calm?" Pick your battles. Not everything that annoys you is worth a confrontation. Develop a shared understanding with your partner about the desired size of your family. Procreation is encouraged in order to build the Muslim population, but if you do not want children, you are not required by Allah to have them.  If you decide to have children, discuss with your spouse how best to raise your children in the love and service of Allah. Use birth control if you do not want to get pregnant. You may be interested in using an IUD, Dep-Provera, an implant, or condoms.
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One-sentence summary --
Be open with your husband. Share responsibilities around the house. Have fun together. Argue gently. Discuss children.