Denial is one phase of trauma. Sometimes an event is so unbelievable or so horrible that it is hard to process that it has happened to you. What is done cannot be undone, however, so cope with it by accepting that it happened. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you will be able to feel at peace again.  Write about it in your journal or share what happened in some other creative way so that you can come to terms with it. If it was a public event, don’t avoid talking about it with people that also went through it and those that didn’t. Stick with the facts. Refrain from going into what-if scenarios of how close a call it was, or dwelling on what might have been, if only… Focus on processing only what actually happened. You may feel a combination of emotions related to the traumatic event. In order to begin coping with the traumatic event, you’ve got to recognize what exactly you are feeling and accept that it is a normal response.  Common emotions include: anger, grief, fear, anxiety, depression, restlessness, fatigue, etc. Doodle emoji-style faces showing your different emotions. Make a list of your feelings about the event. Don’t judge any of the feelings as good or bad. Although every day is full of uncertainty and change, a traumatic event can make you even more aware (and fearful) of how quickly things can go from great to horrible. The best way to cope with the fear of uncertainty that a traumatic event can raise is to accept that change happens.  Recognize that uncertainty is a part of life. It may or may not rain, you may or may not miss the bus. Say to yourself, “I accept that life is uncertain and I will not be afraid of what might happen.” Keep a journal about the things you are uncertain about and why they scare you. Be sure to document how you begin to embrace uncertainty. Truly coping with and moving past a traumatic event will not happen overnight. It will take time, so be patient with yourself. Understand that you will have days where you are coping well, and other days that you aren’t.   Don’t set a time limit for when you need to be over the traumatic event. Don’t try to force yourself to hurry up and get over it. When you have a bad day, do not feel like you are starting back at square one. It is normal for the number of good days to slowly surpass the number of bad days until you feel mostly normal.

Summary: Accept what happened. Recognize your feelings. Acknowledge uncertainty. Give yourself time.


You can work on hydrating and protecting your hair even before you get out of the shower! Frizz-preventing shampoos help keep your hair smooth and tame before frizz strikes. When you wash your hair, apply shampoo directly to your roots, and massage the shampoo through your scalp. Then, work the shampoo down the ends of your hair. For best results, rinse your hair with cool water.  In addition, many beauty supply stores and drugstores sell shampoo particularly for dry or damaged hair. You can use this as well as frizz-preventing products. Rinsing your hair in cool water helps seal the cuticles of your hair, preventing frizz from popping up. It's okay to shampoo in warm water, as long as you rinse with cool water. Use shampoos with natural oils like Moroccan or argan oil for best results. Luckily, there are countless conditioners on the market to help repair damaged hair. Purchase one from a drugstore or beauty supply store, and apply it to your hair after you shampoo it. Apply your conditioner liberally to all of your hair. It is best to let the conditioner sit on your hair for 2-5 minutes while you shower. When shopping for conditioners, look for products advertised as moisturizing, strengthening, restorative, or made for dry or damaged hair. While your hair is still saturated in conditioner, comb your hair from root to tip. Your hair is more elastic when wet, and the conditioner helps the comb glide through your hair and untangle any knots. This also results in less hair breakage than brushing your hair when it is dry.  This is especially beneficial for curly or textured hair. In addition, brushing your hair in the shower helps prevent frizz. You can purchase a deep conditioner or reparative mask from a beauty supply store. After you rinse out your conditioner, you can apply deep conditioner generously from the roots of your hair to the tips. Be sure to thoroughly cover the ends of your hair to help repair any damages. Leave the conditioner on for 5-30 minutes, depending on the instructions on the label.  Each type of conditioner or mask has different time recommendations regarding how long to let the product sit on your hair. You can leave the product on your hair when you finish washing, or you can get out of the shower, let the product sit, then rinse it out in the sink. If you decide to let it sit, you can wear a shower cap over your head. Look for products using natural ingredients, like coconut oil or jojoba oil. These naturally replenish your hair’s nutrient level, while making your hair smooth and soft! Leave-in conditioner is helpful for all hair types, especially if your hair is damaged. Squeeze a hefty dollop of conditioner into your palm, and rub it in both hands. Then, run both of your hands through your hair so all of your hair is completely saturated. In particular, make sure the ends of your hair are well covered. Leave-in conditioner helps strengthen, soften, and detangle your hair. Alternatively, some leave-in conditioners come in spray varieties. To apply, simply spray it through your hair and run your fingers through your hair to check if you missed a spot. It is best to completely saturate your hair. Heat-protectant products have ingredients that reduce the damage caused from using styling tools requiring heat. To use, you can either spray the product directly onto your hair, or squeeze out a quarter-sized dollop onto your palms, rub it in both hands, and run your hands through all of your hair. Apply this product after you deep condition your hair when it is still wet.  Apply this before you use either a hair dryer or flat iron. Most heat-protectant products will work for temperatures up to 450 °F (232 °C). Diffusers are blow dryer attachments that disperse air flow evenly and dry large areas of your hair. They dry your hair without disturbing your curl or wave pattern, which prevents frizz. To use, clip the diffuser to the top of your blow dryer, lift up the top layer of your hair, and start drying from underneath. Hold the diffuser 2–3 in (5.1–7.6 cm) from your hair, and continue using the diffuser until all of your hair is dry. Alternatively, you can use a blow dryer without a diffuser on a low or cool heat setting. This will prevent any further damage from styling products using heat. Exposing your hair to the constant heat of a flat iron can damage your hair, so it is best to use a low heat setting. Most flat irons have adjustable heat settings. Select the lowest setting, and sit your iron on a heat-resistant surface, like a cooling rack or silicone mat.  If the lowest setting does not smooth out your hair, you can adjust it 1-2 settings hotter. The lowest heat setting should be about 300 °F (149 °C). Avoid going above 410 °F (210 °C).
Summary: Use a frizz-preventing shampoo to wash your hair. Apply a strengthening conditioner after you wash out the shampoo. Brush your hair with a wide-tooth comb after you apply conditioner. Use a deep conditioning treatment or reparative mask 1-3 times a week. Apply a leave-in conditioner while your hair is still damp. Run heat-protectant cream or spray through the ends of your hair. Dry your hair thoroughly using a diffuser. Select a low heat setting and let your flat iron heat up for 5-10 minutes.