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Prioritize a person's needs (sensory needs, need to eat, need to sleep, etc.) over the wants of other family members. It's hard to have a good time if someone's needs aren't being met. Meet all needs first, and then everyone will be ready to have fun. This applies to both autistic and non-autistic family members. It's okay to split into groups if that's what will make everyone's needs be met, and keep people happy. Keep cell phones with both groups, and designate a meeting place that is easy to see.  For example, if your son is overwhelmed and needs a break, while your daughter wants to ride a roller coaster, maybe your wife could take your son for a break and meet up in half in hour. For example, if your husband is very tired and needs rest, and your daughter is eager to get out and do things, maybe you can take her swimming while your husband takes a nap. Whether you're flying or driving, delays may happen. Therefore, it is important to pack distractions such as an MP3 player, their favorite snacks, or even an eraser or another favorite object that will keep them busy. Before leaving the hotel, have your autistic child pick out a stim toy or favorite object to take with them in a purse or bag. This can help them stay calm. If your child can tell you what they need (using speech or AAC), then you can often meet their needs before it turns into a meltdown. When any of your children communicate a need, take time to listen and talk about how to meet that need. The stress of travel and the confusion of a new environment may make your child prone to becoming overwhelmed. Therefore, be prepared for them, and do as close what you would normally do as possible in the event that one does occur.  Your child will likely start displaying signs of stress before a meltdown - such as agitated stimming, looking upset, becoming passive, or regressing. Recognize these signs and help your child to leave or manage what's upsetting them.  Have an exit plan. Maybe one person can take the child out for a walk around the parking lot, or to sit somewhere quiet, so they can have time to calm down.  All parents have moments when their children scream and cry in public. It's okay. This happens to everyone. When planning your trip, consider each family member's favorite activities. Keep in mind your autistic child's preferences, their siblings' preferences, and the preferences of the adults in the family. This vacation is for all of you. It's okay if you don't have an amazing beach vacation just like the Sanchez family, or if you didn't spend as much money as Leslie in the corner office did. This vacation is for your family, not anyone else's. It might look a little different, and that's okay. Accept what you have, define your own fun, and make your own memories.
Put the family members' needs first. Don't be afraid to split up. Be prepared for anything. Encourage children to communicate their needs. Recognize that meltdowns or shutdowns will most likely occur. Choose activities that the whole family will enjoy. Enjoy vacationing in your family's own unique way.