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Moving to a new place and having no friends or family might mean you have a lot of free time on your hands. Use this time to settle into your new home. Unpack, decorate, and purge, making your home a place you truly love and feel comfortable in.  Your home should be your place to retreat to. This is especially true if you have no sense of community or support where you live. Take time to fill your home with the things you love and give yourself permission to remove anything you don’t. Part of getting settled in is getting everything changed over to your new address. Get your driver license changed, get your new library card, fill out change of address forms with the postal service, and register any vehicles with the DMV. Moving without community can mean having a lot of free time. This can be a wonderful advantage or a great difficulty. If you find yourself with a lot of extra time on your hands, try to avoid filling your time with TV and eating comfort foods, taking that time to instead get out and try something new, to exercise and explore outdoors, to study for school, or to get a leg up on any housework that needs to be done. Although there is nothing wrong with watching TV, doing nothing else may result in lower self-esteem or a rapid loss of free time. If you must watch TV, try to do something productive during the inactive time, such as cleaning, cooking, or using a new skill such as knitting. If you are finding it difficult to make new friends, despite having tried to get involved in your community, take time to cultivate a new skill. You can work on your skill at home, or a take a class--either way, opening yourself up to new experiences makes it far more likely that you’ll find people who share your interests. Learning a new skill can be expensive, or entirely free, depending on where you go. You can join a local class, or you can use online tutorials for free (or at a reduced cost). Choose the option that best fits your financial needs and time constraints. If a neighbor invites you to a party, try to find the time to go. If you receive a mailed invitation to visit an open house for a new business, stop by and give it a glance. This can even be said of things you might not normally attend, like a holiday pageant at a local church, or a play at the community center. Each of these has the potential to connect you with people who can eventually become friends. Try to step out of your comfort zone and start a conversation with the people around you. At a play, you might talk to the people in the seats on either side of you, or at a business opening, you might take a few minutes to talk to the new business owner. Take the opportunity to say a quick hello whenever possible. Pamper yourself during this time. Soak your feet at the end of a long work day, get a massage, or take some time to meditate. While it might seem like a trial to be lonely, it can give you the benefit of some time to reflect and slow down.  Set aside some time to evaluate your priorities. What is it that you’re seeking in a community? What types of qualities are you looking for in a friend? A partner? Determine exactly how you’d like your life to look, and start working toward that goal. Don’t be afraid to seek the help of a mental health professional. Loneliness can lead to depression and other mental health concerns, so learn to recognize the difference between being sad that you don’t have a support system in the immediate area, and feeling hopeless and unable to break free from your sadness. Although a therapist or counselor is not going to be able to cure your loneliness, they might have some tools to minimize the effects of loneliness. They might also help you with peripheral concerns, such as low self esteem, that might make it difficult to reach out to others and build up a network of friends. Although you don’t want to rely entirely upon your family and friends from your old home, you still need the support of your loved ones. Take a few minutes each week to check in with a quick call or text. Skype and Facetime are excellent ways to stay in touch with friends and family. Set up a monthly date with your loved ones. Although you might not be able to see and speak to them in person, video chats are the next best thing.
Get settled in. Fill your time wisely. Cultivate a new skill. Say “yes” to invitations. Take time for yourself. Speak with a therapist. Keep in touch.