Summarize the following:
When you're used to being in a leadership role, it can be excruciating to step aside and wait for someone else to step up, and even more torturous to watch them fumble at a task that you can accomplish so quickly and easily. But what's the rush? Will it really be the end of the world if things don't go as smoothly as planned? Relax. Take a deep breath. Wait. You'll find that if you just have patience, everything will get done without you having to fight for it.  If others sense that you're being impatient, they'll be much more likely to rush and not to get the job done as well as you'd like. There's a difference between applying gentle pressure and stressing people out. Give people manageable deadlines that they can work with instead of asking for everything to be done in a ridiculously short time frame. Sometimes we're bossy because we want things done right, and there's nothing wrong with striving for a job well done. However, there's more than one way to achieve a good result, and just because your way is the most efficient to get from Point A to Point B doesn't mean it's the best way. By assuming your way is the best way, you lock out the creativity of others, and you also chip away at morale. Perfectionism can actually impede excellence, because it creates a fear of making mistakes, and the possibility of making mistakes is essential for good work.  If you're really having a hard time doing this, tell yourself that being a perfectionist is actually imperfect. Perfectionism is a paradox that prevents you from doing your best work. Say to yourself "Life isn't perfect and that's okay." Many bossy people focus their attention on incompetence, and they fail to notice potential and progress. Try to be more alert to people's individual talents. Give positive feedback. Positive feedback is psychologically fulfilling and will motivate people far more than nitpicking about their performance.  If you notice that a person is doing well and are impressed with the work that person is putting in, then you should praise that person for a job well done. Letting a person know that you're not only looking out for the negatives can help you build a strong relationship and will also help you be less bossy. Be specific about what they've done well so they know you're paying attention. For example, if you work in retail you can say "I saw how you handled that conflict with the customer. That was really well done!" Many times it's not what you say that comes off as bossy, it's how you say it. Your tone, phrasing, and body language can make a person feel like an incompetent cog in a machine, or it can make them feel like you're inviting them to reach a worthwhile goal with you. It's important to pay attention to your timing, your wording, and the examples you use when you try to ask a person to get something done or to offer feedback. The smoother your communication, the more easily you'll be able to get things done without breathing down anyone's neck. Here are a few suggestions for good communication:  Focus completely on the person talking. Avoid roaming attention like playing on your phone or staring at the ground. Be consistent with body language. Nonverbal communication says a lot. If you've got your arms crossed and you're frowning, nothing you say will be taken very positively. Take your audience into account. For instance, if you're talking to a child, you probably want your tone of voice to be different than if you're talking at a board room meeting. Keep your approach consistent with who you're talking to. Nothing fosters team-building like consensus-building. You can be a facilitator, ensuring that everyone's opinion is heard, and that a decision is made that is satisfactory to everyone involved. If it's just your way or the highway, then people are much less likely to feel like they are in a supportive, beneficial environment. This kind of collaboration will help people feel included and increase trust in the group.  If you're in a group of people, go around in a circle asking each person "Do you have any ideas for the best way we could do this?" Tell people that it's okay to chime in if they have a question or comment. Create an open floor. Before moving on from an issue, make sure everyone is on the same page. If someone doesn't agree, let them know that you appreciate their feedback and hope to hear from them again in the future. You may think that laying down the law is the best way to get things done, but it will actually make people much less happy to work with you. Besides, hearing what everyone has to say can help you find new approaches for getting work done. If you feel like your way of doing things is the only way to get things done, then you'll have a hard time incorporating creative ideas from other people. Ask for it honestly, not simply because it is a good idea or makes a good impression. Explain to people that you know you can come off as bossy or domineering sometimes, and you'd like to change your style. Ask them to let you know when you're coming off as bossy, whether by pulling you aside, or even by sending you an anonymous note or e-mail. Be humble and request their help. This shows that you are eager to grow and that you aren't wedded to your idea of doing things.  Use the "SKS" method for getting feedback. Ask these three questions to the people around you: "What should I stop doing?" "What should I keep doing?" "What should I start doing?"

summary: Be patient. Let go of perfectionism. Encourage people. Improve your communication skills. Strive for consensus. Ask for honest feedback.


Summarize the following:
Perhaps you just walked in the door from a stressful day at school and your mom starts pestering you to clean your room. Instead of yelling at your mom or getting upset, remove yourself from the situation and give yourself a chance to calm down.  For example, you could go to your room and listen to music to help yourself relax. Avoid just walking away from your mom without saying anything because this is likely to make her angrier. Try saying something like, “Okay, I just need to put my things down first and I will come back and talk in a few minutes.” You can burn off some of your steam and negativity by writing in a daily journal. Rather than taking out your negativity on your mom, try writing down your feelings. This may help to control your attitude and will improve your relationship with your mom.  You can write down your feelings rather than say hurtful things to your mom. For example, you could write "I am so mad at my mom. She wouldn't let me hang out with my friends after school today. I think she just likes to punish me for no reason." Try burning off negative emotions through exercise. If you find that you are in a bad mood and are worried that your mom might be able to set off your temper, go for a walk or a light jog. Exercising can help you relax and will allow you control your temper.
summary: Remove yourself from the situation. Write in a journal. Exercise to let off steam.