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It may seem corny to you at first, but repeating self-affirmations to yourself will help you practice self-compassion. As you brush your teeth or get ready for work, repeat a mantra that is meaningful to you and expresses kindness to yourself.  For example, you might say something like, “I accept myself today for who I am” or “I love myself completely.” If you have particular areas of weakness, such as anxiety or body image issues, try focusing your self-affirmations on those. For example, if you experience frequent anxiety, a helpful self-affirmation might be “I will do the best that I can do today. I cannot do more than my best. I cannot control others’ actions.” If you experience body image issues, try finding something positive to focus on: “I will be kind to my body today, because I deserve kindness” or "I look happy and healthy today." Confidence is key when becoming emotionally stronger. Being confident in the fact that you are a unique and worthy individual will help you feel more in control of your emotions. When something bad happens, remind yourself that you have the ability to overcome this obstacle, whatever it may be.  Remind yourself that even the difficulties you have gone through are learning experiences. You can draw strength and courage from knowing that you have made it through tough times, and you can do it again.  Make a list of things you like about yourself. These could be skills, personal strengths, achievements...anything. Don't minimize your abilities and good qualities. If you're having trouble thinking of things, ask a friend to help you. They probably see many wonderful things about you that you might not even be aware of.  Set yourself a (reasonable) challenge to accomplish. For example, you could learn to cook a meal for your friends, or learn a few new poses in yoga, or learn to take artsy photographs. If you love to exercise, train for a 5k or 10k. Once you have accomplished this goal, celebrate it! Honor your successes, no matter how small they may seem to you. Don't compare yourself to others. This is a surefire way to damage anyone's self-confidence. Only you are the unique person who is you. The only person whose approval you need to seek is yours. Set goals that matter to you, and don't worry if they're not the same as everyone else's. Your physical health can directly affect your emotional health, and vice versa. Caring for your physical health can help you feel less stressed. It can also increase your feelings of well-being and make it easier for you to handle your emotions. Exercising is an important part of staying emotionally healthy. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that make you happy. Next time you find yourself getting upset, go on a walk, run, or to the gym. Studies have shown that regular, moderate exercise makes you feel calmer and happier. ” You can develop emotional strength by focusing on positive emotions such as compassion and gratitude. Maintaining a compassionate, grateful attitude will help you understand that many of your fears and anxieties are shared by others. This will allow you to be kind to yourself and to others.  Research has shown that people who regularly practice active gratitude are more resilient in handling trauma. It can also help you interpret even the suffering and negative things in life as learning and survival experiences that have contributed to the self you are now. Gratitude can help keep you from judging others.  Gratitude is more than feeling grateful. We often cannot control what feelings appear. Trying to control those feelings can overwhelm us. Instead, gratitude is an active exercise in recognizing and savoring the positive. Keeping a gratitude journal, learning prayers of gratitude in your spiritual tradition, and stopping to savor a beautiful or positive experience can all help you practice gratitude. Exercising empathy for others can help you build stronger, healthier relationships. It can also help you develop healthier ways of dealing with your own emotions and feelings.  Studies have shown that “loving-kindness” or “compassion” meditation can be a good way to exercise your empathy muscles.Compassion meditation not only enhances your feelings towards others, it has also been shown to decrease depressive symptoms. There are many ways to practice compassion meditation, although several methods stem from Buddhist traditions.  Read novels. Fiction can encourage you to imagine what it would be like to experience emotions and situations unlike you own. Some studies suggest that reading novels can increase your ability to empathize with others.  Avoid jumping to conclusions. Studies have shown that when we think about what others “deserve,” we feel less empathy for them. Try not to assume that others “deserve” or are responsible for their suffering. Extend that same compassion to yourself, too. We’re all human. Uncertainty can be scary, and it can be the cause of a lot of emotional trouble. Being unable to live with uncertainty can cause you to constantly worry, avoid uncertain situations, and become overly reliant on others’ reassurance. Uncertainty is also an unavoidable fact of human life. You can develop your emotional strength by practicing accepting uncertainty.  “Intolerance of uncertainty” plays a large role in anxiety. When you have a low tolerance for uncertainty, you find it difficult to accept that it is not impossible for something negative to happen. You may ask “What if” questions or overestimate the risks and consequences of a negative situation or event. You may find yourself consumed with worry. Keep a journal throughout the day of times when you feel uncertain or anxious. Write down, as specifically as possible, what triggered these feelings. How did you respond to them?  Rank your uncertainties. Try to place things that make you feel uncomfortable or anxious on a scale from 0-10. For example, “going shopping without a list” might rank as a 2, but “delegating a project to someone else at work” might be an 8 or 9.  Practice tolerating uncertainty. Start safe and small. Learn to manage your fear of uncertainty by exposing yourself to it in safe, manageable situations. For example, if you only ever go to one restaurant because you’re worried you wouldn’t like the food somewhere else, try to pick a new place and eat something you have never tried before. You may or may not enjoy the food. However, you will have shown yourself that you can handle uncertainty and come out okay on the other side. Work up to bigger uncertainties gradually.  Record your responses. When you try out something uncertain, record what happened when you did this. What did you do? How did you feel while you were doing it? How did it turn out? If things didn’t go as planned (and this will happen), how did you respond? Were you able to handle the unexpected outcome? Ruminating is a common response to many emotions, especially feelings of sadness or anger. When you ruminate, you obsess about things. You think about a particular situation, thought, or feeling over and over again. It’s like a broken record that keeps playing the same 5 seconds of a song. Ruminating can keep you from coming up with a helpful solution to a problem. It can also trap you in a cycle of negative thinking that can lead to depression and stress. Perfectionism can foster ruminating. So can an “excessive relational focus,” where you overvalue your relationships so much that you will do anything to keep them, even when that is costly or unhealthy. Part of a ruminating loop is getting stuck on the same negative thought. Rather than allowing yourself to think the same thoughts over and over, challenge those negative thoughts! Reframe the negative thoughts in positive terms.  For example, if you have recently broken up with a romantic partner, it can be easy to focus on everything that went wrong. These thoughts can become exaggerated, to where you might feel like the situation was all your fault. You might rehearse “what if” thoughts. You might feel like you’re a failure and you can’t do anything right. Instead, try to focus on a productive, realistic thought. For example: “My relationship with that person ended. I didn’t want that to happen, but I can form another healthy relationship. I can use all I've learned from this one to have a stronger relationship with the next person.” Ruminating often focuses on abstract, unanswerable questions such as “Why does this always happen to me?” or “What’s wrong with me?” Rather than focus on huge, vague ideas that may not even be accurate, try to think about specifics you can do to address your problem.  For example, if you’re worried that your work isn’t going well, make a list of specific actions you can take to address that situation. Call a friend or someone you trust for help, if you can’t think of anything on your own. As another example, perhaps you are frustrated because your romantic relationships always seem to end up the same way. Think specifically about what traits you look for in a romantic partner. What sorts of people are you attracted to? What do you tend to do in relationships with them? What do they tend to do? Are any of these elements related to how your relationships end up? Feeling emotionally weak might make it more difficult for you express your feelings, thoughts, and needs to others. Practicing assertive communication will help you make sure that you are clearly communicating your needs and desires. It may also help you feel more confident in yourself.  Being assertive is very different from being arrogant. Being assertive about your emotions doesn’t mean that you don’t consider others’ feelings. In fact, you respect others’ emotions and needs. You also respect your own emotions and needs. By establishing communication based on mutual respect and openness, you will become a stronger communicator. Arrogant people often base their strength and confidence on external factors, such as how others think of them. This can cause arrogant individuals to prioritize their own feelings over others’. Being assertive means that you know that you have self-worth on your own. You can communicate your feelings openly, honestly, and respectfully because you are not worried how others will judge you.  Use “I”-statements. This will help you own your emotions without “mind-reading” or making others feel blamed. For example, if your partner forgot your birthday, don’t assume that it is because s/he doesn’t care about you and react based on that. Instead, use an “I”-statement to state how you feel: “I felt hurt when you forgot my birthday. I’d like to talk about what happened.” Rather than assigning blame and making the other person defensive, you’ve expressed your feelings and invited the other person to share their experience. If you wait until you feel like making a change in your emotional life, you may wait a long time. Practice behaving as if you already have made progress. Learning to tolerate the discomfort and uncertainty from new ways of thinking and behaving is a great way to become stronger emotionally. For example, if you feel isolated and sad because you tend to be shy and not approach new people, choose to behave differently. You may not “feel like” going out or striking up a conversation at first, but you will become more comfortable with practice. Even more importantly, you will know that you are taking steps to become stronger and healthier. It’s a common myth that therapy is only for people whose issues are so "serious" that they have no other option. This isn’t true. A therapist or counselor can help you learn to understand and process your emotions. They can help you learn coping techniques and how to become a stronger, healthier person.  There are many types of health professionals. Psychiatrists and Psychiatric Nurse Practitioners are usually the only ones who prescribe medication. They may also offer counseling. Clinical Psychologists, Licensed Clinical Social Workers, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists, and Licensed Professional Counselors can all offer counseling services. Many services offer counseling and therapy. Talk with your doctor or insurance company to find someone in your location.
Start each day with self-affirmations.  Develop your confidence.  Take care of your physical health. Enhance your emotional “stamina. Exercise empathy. Learn to embrace uncertainty. Avoid ruminating. Replace negative thoughts with productive ones. Work on solving problems. Learn to communicate assertively. Fake it till you make it. Seek professional assistance.