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Use “I” statements instead of “you” statements. Remain calm if you disagree. Negotiate a rule if you disagree with it. Avoid putting your parents' beliefs and ideas down.
“You” statements sound accusatory and argumentative. Sounding accusatory will put your parents on guard. Your parents will be much more open to what you are saying if you use “I” statements to get your point across. For example, instead of saying, “Since I came home, you keep telling me to do my chores, but I have a lot of homework to do. Calm down!” Say, “I’m feeling pressured because I have a lot of homework to do. Once I finish my homework, I will do my chores.” Try to avoid screaming and yelling at your parents if you disagree with a rule or something they have said. If you find yourself becoming angry, count to three in your head and take a deep breath Then respond as calmly as possible. Keep in mind that your parents just want to protect and care for you. Yelling and screaming is a sign of disrespect that will only create a wall between you and your parents. It is also hard to listen to someone who is yelling and screaming. Instead of arguing over a rule you disagree with, try to explain to your parents why you think it is unfair or out of date. Tell your parents that you are open to negotiating the rule if they are. Say, for example, “I think that limiting my hang out time with my friends to one night during the weekend is unfair if I have all of my chores and homework done. If I finish all of my chores and homework for the week, may I go out with my friends more than once during the weekend?” Your parents no doubt have a lot of opinions on a lot of topics, often based on their own life experiences. While you may not agree with everything they say, putting down their ideas will only create hostility between you and your parents. If you disagree with something, then explain why you disagree instead of putting them down. For example, instead of saying, “That’s a dumb idea,” say, “I disagree with what you are saying because you are not seeing my side of the story. Can I tell you my side before you make any decisions?”