Put one story or joke setup on one side of the card. On the other side, write down the punchline(s), including different directions you could take the joke (less insulting, more insulting, totally different direction). That way, it makes it easier for you to adjust your jokes based on audience response.  For instance: "Just look at him over there, slouched in that chair. Let me tell you, my brother is so lazy …”  “... he can’t even summon the energy to laugh at these hilarious jokes.” “... that when his ex-wife said ‘That’s it — I’m leaving,’ he said ‘Could you grab me a beer on your way out?’” “... that no one even bothers to ask him to do anything anymore — oh, wait — i just realized — my brother is a genius!” The element of surprise can often help you create the punchline of the joke. That is, people often expect a story to go one way. If it goes a different way, that can often produce a laugh. Use the person's quirks to create the element of surprise. Alternatively, use a line of your own to surprise your audience.  For example, say the person has an obsession with tea. You could tell a little story this way: “One time, I saw Charlie lugging a box of like 200 tea bags into the office. I said, ‘Charlie, how can any person drink that much tea?’ He said ‘I’ll tell you a secret — I soak my feet in it under my desk to help with foot odor.’ And when I asked ‘Then why are your teeth stained brown?’ he answered ‘Well, I’m not going to waste it — this is expensive tea!’" Part of being funny is pacing yourself. If you rush through a story and the punchline, you're probably going to leave people in the dust. Instead, include pauses so that your audience can keep up, especially when you're delivering the punchline. What will really make your roast funny is putting what you have to say in perspective by using stories to drive the point home. If you just say, "Haha, isn't Fred a joke? He's always running late," that's not very funny. However, if you put the same point in a story, people will find it more amusing.  For example, you could say, “Fred has never been on time for a staff meeting.  In fact, when it came time for him to lead one, he thought he was supposed to start it with ‘OK, any questions before we finish?’ And for the ‘continental breakfast’ he brought lukewarm decaf and half an onion bagel for everyone to share.” While providing detail is good, make sure you don’t waste excessive time getting to the point of the joke. If you're not confident in your jokes, the people around you won't be either. The jokes will fall flat. You've got to believe in your jokes--or at least act like you believe in them--for people to actually come along for the ride.  Look around the room, and catch people's eyes. Also, stand up straight, and try not to fidget. Speak in a clear, engaging tone. Practice in the mirror a few times. And remember that you’re putting on an act.
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One-sentence summary -- Create note cards that give you multiple punchline options. Use the element of surprise. Get the timing right. Focus on detail. Say it with confidence.

Article: You can go about selecting a church in a number of different ways, depending on your history with religion and what's available in your area, but it's important to find a church that's close and convenient so you can feel like part of the community. Most people have some sense of their beliefs, but many people are also interested in exploring what's available locally. You shouldn't have to travel far to go to church.  Start local. If you're an Episcopalian, find out what Episcopal churches there are in your community and attend all of them to pick which one fits you best. If you weren't raised with any belief system and want to explore your options, find out the variety of different churches and religions practiced in your town and make a few visits. Do some reading about them to find out if they line up with your personal beliefs, then explore them at a service as a visitor. If you live around the corner from an Apostolic church, it may be convenient to attend, but it may also be very different from what you're used to at other Christian churches. On the other hand, it may fit in perfectly with your personal beliefs and needs for a religious practice. Do some reading on the beliefs and practices of the religions before you attend to help you narrow your search for a church community. You don't need to be an expert about religion to go to church. Most church-goers are excited and friendly, happy to welcome new potential members and visitors to their service. Church is supposed to be a learning experience, so don't let your ignorance of a particular religion keep you from attending. Keep an open mind and open heart. In larger towns and increasingly in rural communities, mega-churches with large memberships and parking structures are increasingly common. While these appeal to lots of believers because they are easy to attend, it can also be somewhat difficult to get to know anyone at your church if you're attending a service in a sports arena. Try out smaller churches to see what works. Give both a shot. If you're a member of a small community church with a broken-down organ, you might try exploring a larger church with bigger production values to see if it helps you engage more. Alternatively, you might be able to get in touch more profoundly at a simple, humble, country church. Even if you're fairly settled on your religious preferences and your desires for a church community, try exploring your options as a learning experience. There might be something better out there for you, something that feels right and comforts. If you know definitively that you’re a Christian, or a Muslim, or a Sufi, it’s still important to explore the different churches within that religion in your area to find one that feels comfortable. Fellowship is just as important a part of worshiping at a church as the tenants of the religion itself.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Find local churches in your area. Do a little research beforehand to find out what to expect. Don’t be afraid of the smaller church communities in your area. Try out a few before you settle on one.