Q: Reflective thinking requires you to slow down and process the information you’ve received in new ways.  Take a mental step back and examine your biases.  Are there certain beliefs you grew up with that led you to make a careless generalization about a group of people?  Are there gut-instinct bad feelings about a certain race that you can't explain?  Did you make a joke in bad taste that hedges on toxic stereotypes?  By thinking reflectively, you’ll be able to obtain a more three-dimensional view of the charge against you.  Relate the accusation against you to other accusations of racism you’ve heard before.  How is it similar or different? Think about what might prevent you from coming to a new understanding of your relationship to race.  Stay aware of your own ideas and thoughts as you reflect on your racist act. Try to think in more abstract terms.  Put yourself in the accuser’s position.  How would you see yourself?  How would what you said or did make others of another race feel? To better understand the lived experiences of those with marginal racial identities, you should make an effort to read about issues relating to their lives and talk to them with an empathetic ear.  You'll be surprised to hear the range of opinions relating to how they're perceived in the world. One of the blessings of online communication is that there is less pressure to think quickly. You're allowed to take some time to process your feelings and assemble your response. Maybe you were aiming to make people laugh by wearing a lion costume in blackface to a Halloween party, but it really annoyed a bunch of your friends. Ask yourself if your joke is really worth upsetting a whole group of people and potentially tainting your reputation forever.  After someone tells you what you did or said was racist, swallow your pride and apologize. Say, “I’m really sorry. What I said was pretty awful. Thank you for talking to me and helping me realize why. Can you forgive me for my insensitivity?” Don't blame it on the way you were raised, claim that it isn't a big deal, say racism isn't real because a black person was mean to you once, or say it's their fault for bringing it up. It's important to take responsibility for your actions, even when it's hard. Remember the difference between an explanation and an excuse.  The first step in doing so is admitting “I am not a bad person, but I do have negative racial biases which have a hurtful impact on those of another race.” Don’t attempt to justify your racism as acceptable given some special context.  For instance, if you were robbed and you describe the criminal who robbed you to the police using racist terminology, you’re still being racist. Just because you were robbed by someone of a certain ethnic or racial background, you do not have carte blanche to discard basic decency and respect.
A: Reflect on what you said or did which caused offense. Don't respond to online accusations immediately. Acknowledge and apologize for the offense you caused. Don’t try excuse your behavior.

Q: It can help stabilize crumbling wood. Ideally, you want to get at the sound pieces of wood and harden them. There shouldn’t be any oil or paint on the area you are treating, or it will prevent absorption. The surface needs to be completely dry for it to work. Place your wood on top. Wear gloves, a ventilation mask and safety glasses. Pour it on a disposable bristle brush in a size that will reach all parts of the wood that needs to be stabilized. Apply several coats in succession to improve the strength of the wood. The surface should be shiny. Fill any voids with wood filler before refinishing the product.
A: Purchase a product like Minwax wood hardener for small projects or refinishing projects. Sand the surface and remove as much of the decayed wood as you can. Dry the surface with a hair dryer if it has recently been wet. Set up a covered workspace. Shake the wood hardener can well. Saturate the area with the product. Allow it to dry for two to four hours.

Q: The easiest way to avoid an unwanted marriage proposal is to let your partner know where you stand in the relationship. Because people change over the course of relationships, it is important to have open and honest conversations with your partner regularly. If your feelings have changed or you find that you are not ready to get married, let them know how you feel. It is important that you talk with your partner about any misgivings that you may have about marrying them. If your attitudes have changed, you might say something like “I know that we said that we would get married someday, but I’m not sure I want that anymore.” If you are in a relationship with someone, letting them know how you feel may not be enough to deflect a proposal. You should also be asking your partner how they feel about marriage. You may find that they are more serious than you are, which is something that you should address. You should ask things like “where do you see this going?” or “do you want to get married someday?” If you and your partner are at odds about the direction your relationship is going, you may want to get some relationship counseling. A therapist who specializes in helping couples fix their relationships may be able to help you better understand your partner’s desire to get married and, conversely, your aversion to it. This may help you mend your differences and jump-start communication between you and your partner. If you have been unclear about where you stand in the relationship, your partner might give you an ultimatum. They may say that the two of you should get married or break up. If they give you an ultimatum you should decline and talk with them about why they offered it. You should avoid being coerced into any relationship, particularly marriage. Ideally, if you are honest and communicate your intentions with your partner, you should not have to face an ultimatum. If you and your partner are unable to resolve your differing opinions about marriage, the best solution may be to end the relationship. This may be difficult but moving on is likely the best option. Again, be sure that you are honest with your partner about why you are leaving the relationship.  It is unfair to your partner to continue in a relationship if you do not want to commit to them. Be sure you want to end the relationship. It is important that you are confident that leaving your partner is the best option for you.
A:
Talk honestly with your partner. Ask questions. Get help. Avoid any ultimatums. Break up.