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While television sometimes portrays ideal families that don't have issues, that is not a normal representation of life. Many normal families have issues involving stress, misunderstanding, frustration, hurt, anger, and disconnection. Having an argument with a family member is a normal part of life that is bound to happen even in the healthiest of families. Even though it's normal, you may still experience negative feelings such as sadness, hurt, anger, and frustration.  Arguments may arise due to someone's poor treatment of a family member, because of a longstanding unresolved issue, or due to other family dynamics. Because you learn how to handle stress and conflict from your family, unhealthy behaviors can persist through generations. You all must work together to overcome conflicts and to change poor coping strategies. If your family has issues with mental illness, substance abuse, or other chronic issues, consider entering therapy to discuss how you can make changes for yourself. If your family members are willing, consider going to therapy together. Leaning on an unbiased third party can help you cope with fighting in your family. Make sure the person you confide in will listen to you without taking sides or breaking your confidence. Vent to them when something goes wrong, and let them help you sort out your feelings. Talking to someone who is not involved in an argument can help you vent your frustrations. However, another advantage of confiding in a friend is the ability to get some perspective. That person may be able to spot when you are being unreasonable and advise you on how to make amends when you have taken an argument to far. When there is turmoil in your family, you must attend to your own mental and emotional needs to cope. You may not even notice how tense and stressed you feel after fighting with your family, but your mind and body are certainly experiencing the effects. Stress can cause you to make rash decisions and even become physically ill. Counteract this stress by treating your mind and body good. Do something that relaxes and soothes you. This can include going for a run, taking a warm bubble bath, playing with your dog, watching a movie with friends, or getting a mani-pedi. Someone with professional training might be able to find the source of the problem and help you and your family solve these issues. Going into therapy together can help you all communicate and work together to come up with solutions to your issues. Family therapy is usually mediated by a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) who will have specialized training in family dynamics as well as awareness of how different cultural, spiritual, and religious beliefs affect how people approach family conflicts. Family therapy is usually done over a brief period of time and focuses on helping your family communicate better. It can also help identify and resolve disruptions to your family cohesiveness. Learning better ways to share your thoughts, feelings, and opinions without hurting your loved ones is a skill that takes time to develop. Try not to be upset when things don’t change overnight. In the meantime, look for small indicators that you and your family are learning to resolve conflict in a more healthy manner.
Recognize that all families have problems. Find someone outside of the conflict to confide in. Perform regular self-care. Consider going to family therapy. Have patience.