If you have a personal PayPal account, PayPal allows you to dispute a transaction with a seller if you have problems with the product you purchased.  You can find a link to the resolution center by clicking on the PayPal icon on the upper-left side of your screen. If you scroll down to the bottom of the page,  the link will be on the left-hand side, entitled “Resolve a problem in our resolution center.” PayPal has a different process if you have a business account rather than a personal account. PayPal's Resolution Center allows you to send a message directly to the seller to resolve any problems you have.  Click the button to “dispute a transaction.” You will be redirected to a page that lists all of your transactions. Select the transaction that you want to dispute by clicking on the open circle to the left of the transaction date, and then click the “continue” button. At this point, you will be redirected to a page that asks you to identify the type of problem that you want to address. There are two selections: “I have a problem with an item I purchased” or “I want to report a transaction that I didn't authorize or was transacted in error.” Click the circle to the left of the selection that most accurately describes your dispute, and then click the “continue” button. If you chose, “I have a problem with an item I purchased,” you will be redirected to a screen that asks you to select either “I didn’t receive my item,” or “I received my item but it is significantly not as described.” Click the circle to the left of the selection that most accurately describes your dispute, and then click the “continue” button. Once you choose your category, there is a message box that allows you to compose a message directly to the seller through PayPal’s Resolution Center. Once you have composed your message, click the “continue” button. PayPal will record your dispute and send it to the seller. PayPal gives you 180 days from the date your payment posted to dispute the transaction. If a transaction is more than 180 days old, you still can report the problem to PayPal. PayPal gives you and the seller the opportunity to exchange messages directly to attempt to resolve your problem.  While you're negotiating, PayPal places a hold on any funds related to the disputed transaction.  When you open your dispute, PayPal sends the seller an email notification. You should receive a response from the buyer within seven days. From the day you open your dispute, you have 20 days to negotiate. If you don't close or escalate your dispute within that time, PayPal will automatically close your dispute. If you're completely satisfied with the solution you've reached with the seller, you can close the dispute. Otherwise you can escalate the dispute to get PayPal involved.  Once you've closed a dispute, you can't reopen it, so make sure you're happy with the result. If you want to escalate a dispute that involves your payment for an item you didn't receive, you have to wait seven days for shipment of the item after you open your dispute before you can escalate it.
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One-sentence summary -- Log in to your PayPal account and go to the Resolution Center. Open your dispute. Specify a problem with the purchase or an unauthorized purchase. Select the “category of your purchase” from a drop down menu. Explain your dispute and set forth how you want the dispute resolved. Negotiate with the seller to resolve the situation. Close or escalate your dispute.


Take an ordinary metal spoon and position it vertically, with the bowl at the lower end. Grip the lower half of the spoon with your dominant hand. Use your other hand to cover the top half of the spoon handle completely. It should look like the upper hand is gripping the spoon, but the thumb should not wrap around the handle.  The audience must be straight in front of you for this trick. If you like, you can demonstrate the spoon is an ordinary spoon by rapping it against the table, or letting the audience handle it.
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One-sentence summary -- Hold the spoon with the bowl downward.


Comebacks are all about timing and confidence. Most people think comebacks have to be spontaneous, but you can improve yours by practicing.  Find a friend or a sympathetic adult and have her deliver the insults so you can practice your responses. If you don't feel comfortable with this, you can try it on your own in the mirror. Notice which style of comeback feels most natural to you. If you struggle to come up with a funny one-liner in the moment, then using this tactic will not be very successful for you. Use a different response — like a poker face and saying "Are you finished?" if that comes more naturally. Use what works best for you until you can practice and use the other methods effectively. Bullies are usually very socially intelligent and great people-readers. They can easily see which comments get under people's skin. You can benefit from building up this same skill, but using it for defense instead of for aggression (like the bully). Watch the bully's reaction when you deliver your comeback and the reaction of others around him. Did he respond with surprise? Become angry, quiet, walk away? Then the comeback style used was successful.   Watch for patterns and make not of what worked and what didn't. Notice, for instance, if humor seems to egg him on. If this is the case, switch to indifference or seriousness. Use the group dynamic to take control over the situation. Did the reactions of others watching tell you that you made an impact? Then what you said is working. Did they laugh at you and continue to support the bully? Then try a new tactic. When you are thinking about comebacks, try to come up with ideas that insult the bully's behavior, not characteristics she can't change. Your goal isn't to be as mean as the bully; your goal is to make the put-downs stop. Don't use stereotypes or attack a person based on her gender, ethnicity, sexuality, religion, or other characteristics such as these. This is just as bad as what the bully is doing to you, and possibly worse. You can also get in a lot of trouble for using these kinds of insults. Sometimes comebacks can lead to more insults. More concerning, however, is that some bullies might respond with violence, especially to insulting comebacks. Keep an eye out for signs that the person is becoming aggressive.  Think carefully about the comebacks you use, and if a violent reaction seems like a possibility, remove yourself from the situation. Do you know if this person has ever gotten in trouble for violence before? Have you heard about him hitting or fighting with others? Or is he a social bully who just uses words? If you know this person has gotten violent in the past, you will want to be very cautious. Watch for physical cues of violence. The person may touch his head or face (rubbing his face or scalp or almost touching his face) and clench his fists, wring his hands, or pop his knuckles. The bully may remove an article of clothing, like a hat or a jacket, and may crouch down slightly. In addition, the person may turn his non-dominant side toward you; so, a left-handed person may turn his right side toward you. If you notice any of these behaviors, do not try to make a comeback and back away from the person. Do not make comebacks to threats of violence. The bully may threaten to hit or beat you, so remain confident. Don't look like you're scared. Instead, get away from the bully and report the threat to a trusted adult. If someone is bullying you regularly get help from a teacher, manager, or coworker. Bullies are less likely to pick on you if you aren't isolated. If you can't solve the problem informally, get someone in a position of authority involved. You shouldn't have to deal with constant insults from a bully in any situation.
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One-sentence summary --
Practice your comebacks. Learn a little about your bully. Don't become the bully. Be careful not to provoke violence. Get help.