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Effective communication is key to preventing and dealing with the inevitable disagreements that surface during a marriage. Learning how to communicate in a productive matter is important to getting along with your spouse.  When expressing frustration, avoid statements that place an external judgment on a situation. Statements should start with "I" instead of "you." For example, say you want your spouse to give you more alone time once in awhile. Instead of saying, "You expect me to do everything with you and I never have time to myself," rephrase it in a way that emphasizes your personal feelings on the situation and not objective fact. Try something like, "I feel like I don't get enough time to myself and that makes me feel stressed."  Listen to your partner's side of the argument. Oftentimes, fights over a small issue are driven by underlying circumstances. When the two of you disagree, try to listen actively and repeat back anything you don't understand for clarification.  Do not expect your partner to read your mind. If something he or she does bothers you, you cannot expect your spouse to simply figure this out. The sooner you say something, the sooner the issue can be addressed and dealt with effectively. No two people have the the same opinions and values 100% of the time. You need to accept your partner's values even when you do not agree.  Couples are generally able to get along fine with different political or religious values. However, it's when someone feels their values are not respected that problems arise. Even if you radically disagree with your partner on a given subject, try to understand where he or she is coming from and respect his or her opinion.  If you really radically disagree with your spouse about an issue, it's okay to agree not to discuss it. Sometimes, it's hard to give up your desire to change a person's mind, especially if it's a subject you care about deeply. People tend to communicate in different ways. You should pay attention to how your partner conveys his or her feelings. This will allow you read your spouse better and smooth over arguments more effectively.  Some people are more visual communicators. They do not necessarily talk out their feelings but visual clues, such as how they carry themselves and eye movements, convey feelings. If this is the case with your partner, make sure you two communicate face-to-face.  If your partner tends to get very emotional during communication, try to speak softly and provide reassurance by holding hands, touching, and other warm gestures.  When talking, always paraphrase what you two have said. This way, you'll be sure you understand each other. People have different "languages of love." That is, people use different means to show that they care. If you or your partner feels under-appreciated, the two of you might just use different "languages of love."  Words of Affirmation means your partner expresses how he or she feels directly. You might hear "I love you" a lot and get a lot of compliments on small matters. This is perhaps the most direct and easy-to-read language of love.  Acts of Service means someone feels actions are louder than words and shows affection via completing small tasks for their significant other. Your partner may, for example, take the garbage out for you or do the dishes if you've had a long day. These people are sometimes less verbal with their affection and their acts of love are easy to overlook if you don't realize they're meant to convey affection.  Receiving Gifts means people feel loved via sharing and giving. Your partner might bring your flowers or a small treat from the store to show he or she cares. Like Acts of Service, your partner may be less verbally affectionate if this is how he or she expresses love.  Quality Time means love is expressed by giving the other person undivided attention. Your partner may want to spend time with you alone and treasure small moments you might not think much of. Nightly dinners, for example, may be very important to your partner if this is how he or she expresses love.  Physical Touch means your partner shows affection via touching. He or she might want to hold hands, cuddle, and kiss. Your partner might be less verbally affectionate, but will strive to make up for it through contact. If an argument is getting nowhere, it's okay to pause. If neither side is listening anymore, and you're repeating the same information, simply stop the argument, give each other some space, and revisit the issue later.
Communicate effectively. Accept your partner's values. Learn your spouse's communication style. Understand how your partner expresses love. Pause during arguments.