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Whether your teen is struggling with feeling anxious or has an anxiety disorder, establishing a safe place for your teen to confide in you will help you help your teen cope with anxiety. Your teen should know you're there for him or her at all times. Let your teen know that you're always available to talk and will support him or her unconditionally.  Teenage years are a time when many children seek independence. Teens may feel alienated and pressured if you ask a lot of questions about their mood or social life. Try to provide support without pressuring your teen to share information with you he or she wants to keep private. Refrain from interrogating your teen. Instead of asking about what is bothering him or her, say something like, "If you need to talk to me about anything, I'm always here to listen." Allow your teen to open up to you at his or her own will. Your teen may shut you out at first. Anxiety and feelings of sadness and stress are hard to talk about at any age. However, be persistent and let your teen know that you love him or her and that you really want to help.  For example, you might say something like, "I understand that this is difficult to talk about, but I love you and I want to help." Having a process for making decisions may help your teen to deal with anxiety by making tough decisions seem more manageable. Work through problems with your tee to help him or her develop and improve problem solving skills.  Help your teen work through problems by teaching them about the problem-solving process. There are different versions of the process, but they generally boil down to the following six steps:  Identify the problem. List the options and possible outcomes of each. (Both positive and negative outcomes, including potential effects on others.) Compare the options. Choose the best option. Make a plan to follow through with the option. Reflect on the problem and its solution. What worked? What would you change?    For example, your teen might identify a poor test grade as the problem, then list options such as “ask for extra credit” and “study harder for the next test.” Your teen might decide that studying harder for the next test is the better option since it will be more likely to bring up his or her overall grade. Your teen might decide to study harder and set up a study schedule to stay on track. Then, your teen might reflect on how she prepared for the previous test and make connections between her poor grade and lack of preparation. Teens will also need to learn the difference between things that are within their control and things that are out of their control. If something is not within your teen's control, help your teen refocus onto something else that will be more productive. For example, if your teen is upset because she did not get accepted to her first choice for college, then you might encourage her to focus on the colleges that did accept her. Anxiety and stress can be sources of embarrassment. There is a lot of stigma surrounding mental health issues, and many people are afraid to address how much they struggle with managing emotions. If your teen talks you about his or her anxiety, listen without judging.  The most important thing is that your teen feels comfortable communicating with you. You do not need to offer advice or feedback. You simply need to listen and understand. Show your teen you hear what he or she is saying. Say something like, "I understand you're worried about your social life" or "A lot of teenagers stress about college." Do not try to talk your teen out of a bad mood. Tell your teen it's normal to be sad or anxious sometimes. Do not try to talk your teen out of how he or she is feeling. Even if you know the anxiety is irrational, it's not always helpful to point this out. Your teen probably knows a lot of his or her anxiety is baseless, but may be unable to shake the feeling. Do not criticize or pick apart your teen's line of thinking. This can alienate your teen, making him or her less likely to communicate in the future. While anxiety can reach a point where it's harmful, it is a normal part of life. Let your teen know that it's okay to feel sad, anxious, and stressed sometimes. Even if your teen's worries are irrational, acknowledge them. Do not try to talk your teen out of a bad mood, as this can make your teen feel that you're dismissing how he or she feels.  If you're unsure of what to say, it can help to reiterate what your teen has just said. This can show your teen he or she has been heard, and encourage him or her to explain more if you don't fully understand. For example, you can say something like, "I'm hearing you're feeling stressed because of going to college in a few years." Emphasize that feelings of anxiety are, to an extent, normal. Life has ups and downs, and your teen should know it's okay for him or her to be sad or unhappy some of the time. Reassure your teen it's okay to feel anxious. Oftentimes, teen anxiety is labeled in a way that feels dismissive or demeaning. Avoid referring to your teen as "shy" or "nervous." Instead, try to phrase things in a positive way. Your teen is trying to overcome emotional difficulty. Try referring to your teen as "brave" or "a fighter" instead. This can reduce feelings of shame your teen may be experiencing due to his or her struggles with anxiety. If your teen is struggling with an anxiety disorder, then he or she may occasionally have panic attacks. Panic attacks are moments of extreme and sometimes sudden panic, in which a person may sweat, hyperventilate, and show other signs of distress. If your teen is having a panic attack, takes steps to help.  Reassure your teen things will be okay. Say things like, "We'll get through this" and "You're going to be okay." Panic attacks are scary, but they're rarely dangerous. Some people who experience panic attacks feel like they're going to have a heart attack or faint due to the fight or flight response in the body triggered during a panic attack. Let your teen know that the physical response can be alarm, but it will not cause him harm. If you have ice or something cold on hand, have your teen press this into his or her hand. The sensation can distract from the panic. Have your teen engage in deep breathing. Deep breaths can help ground someone during a panic attack. You can also try distracting your teen by stimulating his or her mind. Have your teen engage in a simple day-to-day activity, like taking a shower or grabbing something from the car. Benzodiazepines are a type of fast acting anti-anxiety medication that you use as needed throughout the day. These pills tend to take effect within 30 minutes to an hour. If your teen has been prescribed any medication of this kind, you may want to offer your teen his or her medication to help quell a panic attack. Keep in mind that benzodiazepines can be highly addictive. You may want to keep them locked in a cabinet to prevent your teen from taking them too often.
Encourage your teen to talk to you any time. Teach problem solving skills to your teen. Listen without judgement. Validate your teen's feelings. Avoid negative labeling. Help your teen during a panic attack.