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Before you can forgive yourself completely, you first need to acknowledge your actions. It may help to write down your actions that you have strong feelings about. This will help pinpoint concrete examples of why you have negative feelings about yourself. One way to be honest to yourself is to accept the consequences of your actions. If you have done or said something wrong, you need to own the action before forgiving yourself for it.  One way to achieve this is by letting go of stress. The more stress you hold inside of you, the more damage you do to yourself. Stress can sometimes lead you to releasing your anger out and harm yourself and others around you, but if you forgive yourself the anger will be gone and the bad stuff will be gone. The result is that you are more concentrated and better about the positive instead of the negative. Accepting responsibility is one thing, but understanding the emotions behind is another thing. Feeling strong emotions like guilt is not only common, but also good. Feeling guilt will encourage you to take action for yourself and others. .  You may be feeling guilty over your own thoughts. You may have thoughts of wishing pain or misfortune on others. You may feel things like lust or greed. If you are overwhelmed by these guilty feelings, know that they are common. Your guilt may stem from these strong emotions; it is best to confront them and acknowledge why you are feeling this way. Only by doing this may you move on to forgiving yourself. You may be judging yourself (or others) too harshly out of guilt. You may be taking out your feelings on yourself and others, making you feel guilty for your actions. You may blame others out of insecurities and increase the feeling of guilt. If you find yourself blaming others, take a step back and acknowledge why you say these things. It may help you on the path to self-forgiveness. You may be taking on guilt because of another’s action. It is not uncommon for a couple to feel guilt over his/her significant other’s actions. You might feel guilty over a spouse’s actions or insecurities. You should identify why you feel this way to realize if you should forgive yourself or another person. Before you can forgive yourself, you must identify what it is you value and what it is you believe.  Take a moment to think about how you might atone for what you feel guilty for. Think about how you might make an actual difference. These actions may be based on a spiritual belief system, or based on societal demands. One way to forgive yourself for feelings of inadequacies to is to identify what you need in your life versus what you want. Identify both concrete needs - such as shelter, food, and social needs - and compare them with concrete wants - nicer car, bigger house, nicer body. Identifying these needs vs. wants may help you realize that perhaps you were too hard on yourself or perhaps things are out of your control.
Be honest with yourself about your actions. Stop rationalizing, and start taking responsibility for what you say and do. Accept the guilt that you are feeling. Identify self-values and self-beliefs. Analyze your needs versus your wants.