Summarize the following:
Boundaries are important in any type of relationship. Enforcing boundaries with a friend can be challenging, but it will ultimately benefit you and help you build stronger friendships. If your friend can’t respect your boundaries, it may be time to distance yourself from them. A few ways you can set boundaries include: Letting your friend know that you will not tolerate gossip or belittling speech about you to others. Saying “no” if your friend insists on talking about something personal or gossiping about others in front of you. Setting consequences for when your friend violates your boundaries (e.g., “If you keep talking about me behind my back, I will not spend time with you anymore.”). If you’ve talked to your friend and they’re making an effort to change their ways, give them a few weeks or months before making any big decisions about the friendship. Your friend may be trying to change a lifelong habit of blurting things out when they don’t mean to, for example. If your friend does slip up, remind them that they agreed not to gossip to or about you. If they apologize and immediately correct their behavior, that’s a good sign that they are trying to improve. Make sure your friend knows that what you are telling them is private and for no one else to know, if you are intent on sharing personal information with them. You may find out that you can’t trust them, but at least they won’t be able to claim that they “didn’t know it was a secret.” If your friend can’t stop gossiping and it’s causing you significant stress, then it might be best to go your separate ways. Try keeping them as an acquaintance at first, to see if spending less time around them alleviates the problem. If things don’t improve, tell them that you cannot be friends with someone that you cannot trust.
Create and maintain healthy friendship boundaries. Give them time to improve. Be explicit when you want your friend to keep something a secret. Consider ending the friendship.