Q: Research has shown that people have a more difficult time blocking unwanted thoughts when they believe that they should be able to do so easily. When it was explained to them that blocking any though, even positive ones, is difficult, it was much easier for them to block out the thoughts they wanted to ignore. So relax, and don't put so much pressure on yourself. The pressure will only bring bad thoughts back to you! Research has shown that if we try too hard to distract ourselves from otherwise normal unpleasant thoughts, our minds can focus on them so much that they become destructively bad, obsessive thoughts. Another study showed that subjects who distracted themselves from bad thoughts with music were eventually soured on the experience of music itself.  A normal unpleasant thought might be a "what if" scenario about something undesirable happening, like a burglary. This is, in fact, a very natural, and useful thought, as it can remind us to lock our doors and windows at night and not take risks with our safety or the safety of those we love. It's when this thought becomes irrational – you never leave your house, buy two pitbulls, and install a security system even though you live in a quiet, low-crime neighborhood – that it reduces your quality of life. Instead of trying to distract yourself every single time you have a bad thought, let them run their course. If it is a normal unpleasant thought, you can acknowledge it and, if necessary, take action (your thought about being burglarized reminds you that you didn't lock the back door, so you go and lock it.) You can also try thanking your brain for trying to protect you, and move on. If the thought does not go away, then you can practice the process outlined in methods one and two to help you resolve them. We all have undesirable or counter-productive thoughts from time to time. It will be easier to deal with bad thoughts if you have a plan in place for how you'll react if they pop into your mind unbidden. Your strategy should follow the formula: “If X thought pops into my mind, I will do Y action.”  The action might be as simple as, "I will acknowledge it and not engage with it at the moment." You might get up and do a physical activity that occupies your mind every time you have a bad thought — 50 jumping jacks, for example. Use coping strategies to deal with undesirable or counter-productive thoughts and emotions such as: getting out in nature, creating art, writing, exercising, or praying. Mindfulness-based meditation is a great way to deal with bad thoughts. It will not "clear your mind" or stop the bad thoughts – it's impossible to control what might pop up in your mind, but it teaches you to examine those thoughts in a calm, objective manner. With practice, you will learn to dismiss the bad thoughts as they arise.  Find someplace with as few distractions as possible. Sit in a chair with your back straight, with your hands resting on your thighs. Close your eyes and focus on the blackness. If you see colors in the darkness, you can focus on those. Try to simply be aware of the present moment: how your body feels, the thoughts that come and go. The idea is to be in that moment with whatever thoughts may arise. When negative thoughts come, acknowledge them and try to examine them with detached curiosity. Where did this thought come from? Why do you believe this particular thought? Remind yourself that thoughts and feelings are impermanent, and your bad thoughts are not who you are. Do this for 20 minutes every day. Again, it will take some time to be able to observe your negative thoughts with detachment. Sometimes, writing an idea down and fleshing it out on the page helps your mind work through its problems. If a bad thought keeps coming back to you, journal about it. Keep journaling every day until the idea no longer takes up so much space in your mind. Don't make bad thoughts more important than they are. This is called cognitive diffusion. Everyone has thoughts that they don't want — it's nothing special. In fact, the simple act of not wanting a thought makes it take center stage in your mind, even if it's not a particularly bad thought. For example, try not to think of a cute puppy right now!  Do your best not to make a mountain out of a molehill. Accept that having a bad thought says nothing about you as a person, and it will leave your mind more quickly.
A: Accept that it's a challenge to block unwanted thoughts. Let them run their course. Create coping strategies. Practice meditation and mindfulness. Keep a journal. View your thoughts as hypotheses.

Q: Pinching refers to the pinching off of the top of the stems of a plant to encourage bushy growth and blossoming. Pinching can be done alongside the removal of dead blooms in late spring to early summer, as doing it before winter can also cause the mum to be vulnerable to the cold weather. Pinching is not strictly necessary but is a good addition to your deadheading routine, as it can make your plant fuller and healthier while keeping the shape of the plant compact and bushy. Because pinching is best done on tall stalks that you want bushier and more fruitful, take a good look during the late spring and early summer for stalks that you want shorter. It’s best to pinch your mums once the new shoots that emerge in the spring are 3 to 4 inches (7.62- 10.16 cm) high. Also look for any tips that look dead or browned. Once you have identified some stalks that should be pinched, grasp the tip of a shoot right under the first set of leaves, about ½ to 1 inch (1.27 to 2.54 cm) down the stem from the tip. Use your fingernails to pinch off this tip and discard the pinched off tip of the plant. Repeat the process of pinching on all unhealthy or overly-tall stems. Pinching not only shortens the height of a tall plant, it also allows encourages rapid growth of leaves and blooms right below the pinched off area. The optimal time to stop pinching for most mums is in mid July so that the plant has time to blossom and grow before blooming season. If your mum plant is an early cultivator then you should stop around mid-June, and if it is a late cultivator like a “Minnyellow” or a “Minngopher” mum, you can get away stopping pinching around early August. Look up your type of mum to see whether it is an early or a late cultivator.
A:
Pinch mums during late spring and early summer. Identify leggy stalks to be pinched. Grasp the tip under the first set of leaves. Pinch the tip off with your fingernails. Stop pinching in mid June to early August.