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Slowly inhale and exhale to signal your body to relax, and to restore equilibrium if you are feeling out of sorts and tense. This also gives you a few extra moments to evaluate the situation and how you will choose to respond.  Practice regular meditation to learn how to control your emotions and calm yourself down when you need to. Try inhaling for 5 seconds, holding it for 5 seconds, and then exhaling over 5 seconds. This is a general standard rhythm, but experiment to see what timing works best for you. Taking a step away from the situation allows you to remove yourself from the situation if you are worried that your immediate reaction won’t be one of patience. This will help you to feel more level-headed to face the next few moments.  When you step away, try slowly counting to 10 or taking deep breaths to help you to be able to return more quickly. You could also try yelling your frustrations into a pillow when you have stepped away. Maintain supervision of the children even when you need to step away. Use a baby monitor or ask another adult to look over them. Singing can make losing your patience or temper much more difficult, as it can easily diffuse the situation into laughter instead. You can still say what you need to, however it will be much better received, and you won’t feel as though you have lost your patience as much. The singing may come as a surprise to the kids, which will make them more likely to pay attention to what you are saying. Try to keep having a connection and understanding at the forefront of your mind. Avoid lecturing them, and be reflective rather than reactive.  Listen to the children before you speak, and talk with them rather than at them. Simply saying “kids, I’m losing my patience,” can also help, as it openly communicates with the kids how you are feeling and lets them respond to it. The cycling nature of mantras is soothing and serene, which can definitely help in situations where you feel that you might lose your patience. Mantras can also help for you to put the situation in perspective.  For a patience boost, try “This too will pass, and I can stand it.”  To add perspective, try “I love my kids more than I love my . . .” and include whatever the situation is about such as plates, a wall, or the garden. Take a moment to evaluate the situation from the child’s point of view. This will help you to work out what their intentions are, and how to react in a way that they will understand. The more you practice this, the easier it will become to understand the child’s perspective in the future. This means that you will lose your patience less in future situations.
Take a few deep breaths. Step away for a moment if possible. Sing what you want to say. Talk it out with the kids. Repeat a mantra. Put yourself in the kid’s shoes.