Women are more likely than men to feel responsible for making their stepfamilies perfect. However, remember that most stepchildren will need time to adjust. Some may be open from the start, while others may be more reluctant to engage.  Recognize that the transition is hard for them. Be patient. It may take two years or longer for some children to feel comfortable.  Shy children and older children, especially teens, may take longer to open up to you. While your role may evolve into a “motherly” one as time goes on, do not expect this from the start. Sometimes, stepparents take on more of a mentorship role, particularly for teens. What matters is that the relationship is healthy and satisfying for stepparent and stepchild. Children need rules. While you might be tempted to forgo all rules in attempt to win over your stepchildren, this will only create more problems. Be firm, but kind, sort of like a camp counselor. You shouldn't be the primary disciplinarian, which could strain an already sensitive relationship. Let your partner take on that role.  Say something like, “In our house, we don't do that.” Speak calmly and avoid screaming. Let your stepchildren know that they can communicate honestly and openly with you without fear of judgement. This will help strengthen your relationship.  Say something like, “I care about you, and I want you to tell me how you feel.” Set an example by communicating openly as well. You might say, “When you don't listen to me, it makes me feel like you don't value my opinion, and that hurts.” Divorce can make children wary of trusting the adults in their lives. Your stepchildren will need to feel safe and secure. Keep your promises and always be supportive. Your stepchildren will likely have a hard time adjusting, and their loyalties may be divided. While you shouldn't put up with rudeness, don't expect gratitude or affection right away. All that may come later. In the meantime, continue doing your best and try to be patient.

Summary: Give your stepchildren time. Do not expect to occupy the role of mother. Set some boundaries. Create a judgement-free environment. Stick to your word. Don't take things too personally.


Place your clothes that are brand new in the washing machine.  If you’ve separated your brand new clothes into more than one load – for instance, whites and colors – remember not to throw them all in together.  Add detergent according to manufacturer recommendations. After all your temperature, load size, and other settings are appropriately selected, you’re ready to get started.  If you are unsure of how long the washing cycle will take, ask someone more familiar with the machine or consult your washing machine’s user guide.  If you’re washing your brand new clothes at the laundromat, look for an indicator on the machine that will tell you how long the washing cycle will last. Wet clothing is more likely to color bleed.  Therefore, take your brand new clothing out of the washer as soon as the cycle is completed (usually it will take about 20 minutes). Hang your clothes on the line or place them in the dryer per care label instructions. If the care label on your brand new clothes indicates that you must wash something by hand, do not attempt to wash it in the washing machine.  Instead, fill a sink basin with cool water and mix in a bit of dishwashing liquid until the water is sudsy.  Soak your clothes that are brand new in the water for 10 minutes.  Drain the sink and rinse your clothes in cold water.  Just as you did with brand new clothes that you washed in the machine, separate clothes you wash by hand according to their color. Lay hand-washed clothing flat on a clothing rack or towel to dry.

Summary: Load the washing machine. Turn the machine on. Take your clothes out as soon as possible. Hand wash anything that needs to be washed by hand.


Visit your local salon or purchase an at-home hair dye kit from a drug or beauty supply store. Follow the instructions on the box to dye your hair an all-over stark black or bright red. These noticeable, monochromatic hair colors are characteristic of the death metal and punk rockers who inspired this hairstyle, and will easily give you a quintessential deathrocker Goth look. to one section of your hair. Select a color and purchase a spray-on hair color for a temporary look, or a permanent or semi-permanent hair dye kit for a deathrocker Goth style that is longer-lasting. Start by sectioning of the part of your hair that you want to color. Cover the rest of your hair by cutting a small hole in a shower cap and pulling the section you want to color through the hole. Follow the directions on the box to apply the hair dye to the exposed section of hair. Wash and dry as directed. If you are going for a typical deathrocker Goth look, dye all your hair jet black before adding a streak of color. Try a statement-making mohawk or fauxhawk that pays homage to both a classic Goth style and the punk rocker style that partially inspired modern Goth subculture. You can add a strip of color to your mohawk or fauxhawk, or go all out and color the entire thing. Whether you have long hair or short hair, you can create a quick mohawk or fauxhawk using a brush, hairspray, mousse, and bobby pins.

Summary: Dye your hair a stark black or bright red. Add a streak of color Try a mohawk or fauxhawk for a punk-inspired Goth vibe.


Don't worry about work while you're at school, and vice versa. Focus on one thing at a time. Don’t bring your books or notes to work and don’t bring work stuff to school. The time you are at each place is dedicated to that endeavor. If you work hard at work, you shouldn’t feel guilty for focusing on school when you are at school. Give yourself time to collect yourself when you need it the most, so you can return to work/school with a clear head. Go for a walk. Read a newspaper. Make some tea. Try to take breaks every couple of hours, but limit them to 5 to 10 minutes. You don't want to turn them into time wasters. Avoid indulging in guilty pleasures too often during your breaks. Everybody has them, whether it's MTV, getting lost in idle chit-chat with your neighbor, or scanning Facebook for hours on end. If there's an activity that you tend to get caught up with, but that negatively affects your work-school-life balance, avoid it like the plague. And certainly don't turn to them during your brief breaks. . Stretch. Swim. Run. Lift. Maintaining a healthy lifestyle helps relieve stress and you'll find that the more you get out and exercise, the easier work and school will seem. Exercising is commonly known to reduce stress. Scientists have shown that regular participation in aerobic exercise leads to decreased stress, elevated and stabilized moods, improved sleeping habits, and increased self-esteem. Make time in your schedule to sleep. Studies have shown that sleep increases your memory capabilities, improves your overall mood, and helps you stay attentive. All three of these will positively affect your stress levels. Staying up all night studying may be necessary on occasion, but don’t make it a regular thing. If you become sleep-deprived, take a short nap (15 to 30 minutes) just to give your brain a little boost. . Eat high-fiber, carbohydrate rich foods. Scientists believe that carbohydrates cause the brain to produce elevated levels of serotonin, a hormone with relaxes us. Eat lots of fiber to regulate your system. Eat fruits and vegetables that are high in antioxidants to boost your immune system. Citrus fruits provide plenty of vitamin C. Acorn squash and carrots are great sources of the antioxidant beta-carotene. A balanced diet will lead to a healthier school-work-life balance. Avoid fatty foods, excessive caffeine usage, and sugary treats. Meats or cheeses contain light levels of fat, which thickens your blood and leaves you feeling lethargic. Caffeine probably seems like a necessity, but consume it responsibly and don’t let it affect your sleep schedule. Lastly, sugar is simple carbohydrate that will give you a momentary high, only to leave you with a “crash”. Choose complex carbohydrates instead like pasta, beans, and lentils.
Summary: Keep work and school separate. Take those much-needed breaks. Be active Get enough sleep. Eat healthy