Everyone experiences hardships at one time or another. This might include losing a job, coping with a medical issue, or suffering an injury. Don’t blame yourself when these things happen because they happen to everyone.  Let’s say someone crashed into your car while you were driving. This is an accident, and you didn't cause it. Don’t blame yourself! No one can have a perfect life without hardship, even while using a tool like the law of attraction. You can’t stop all bad things from happening, as this isn’t possible. However, you can choose to have a better reaction to them. Instead of getting upset, accept hardships as part of life. Then, reach out to people who care about you to get support. For example, let’s say you lost a job you really wanted. Instead of dwelling on the loss, accept that this time it wasn’t meant to be. Then, think about how you can use this experience to do better next time. This helps you see something good that the hardship brought into your life. When you’re ready, reflect on what happened to see how you grew as a person. Similarly, consider how your experience can enable you to help others.  Don’t push yourself to look for the lesson or silver lining before you’re ready. For instance, failing a class might have taught you how to be a better student, and going through a bad breakup might teach you what you want in a relationship. Facing an obstacle can shake your confidence and break your positive mindset, but regaining control give you back your power. Start by listing the actions you can take to move forward. Then, do one small thing to help you move in the right direction. For example, let’s say you lost your job. Instead of dwelling on it, update your resume and go through job listings. While you apply for new jobs, take a free online class to help boost your job skills.

Summary: Recognize you’re not to blame for accidents, illnesses, or events beyond your control. Focus on changing your response to hardships rather than avoiding them. Look for the lesson or silver lining in obstacles or hardships, when you’re ready. Take control after a setback or hardship to boost your confidence.


Your tone sets the stage for a story just as much as the words and images do. Be sure to add inflection to your voice when you sit down to read a book out loud. Perform the voices of the different characters, too. Reading with expression means that you're reflecting the tone of the story, and you should read slowly so that the child has time to think about what is happening.  Adding voices can grab the attention of a bored or distracted child. You can record yourself reading aloud and listen to the recording to see if you are reading in an engaging way. Have fun with reading! Your child will notice your enjoyment of the book. Your goal in reading aloud to a child is to help them understand the story and relate to it. Pausing until it looks like the child is done studying the pictures is one way to make sure that they are understanding that the words you read are describing these images.  If you're sitting with a child in your lap or beside you, they may want to turn the page themselves, which can also indicate that they have finished studying it. Pay attention to the child, and if they seem like they are trying to get you to move through the book faster without taking the time to study the images, ask them questions about the pictures or the story so far to help them connect with the story. As children grow, they become more and more cognitively aware. If they are old enough, pause in the middle of the book to ask the child if they think they know what happens next. Tell them to guess what happens, and then confirm or correct these predictions as you work your way through the book.  Don't shut down predictions if you know they aren't the “right” ones; encourage the child to think in terms of “possibilities,” affirming their guesses and referring to what actually happens in the book as “what the author had in mind.” Ask your child to put themselves in the character's shoes. Then, ask them why they think the character performed an action or behaved in a particular way. Pay attention to the way the child is behaving. If they are twisting in place and commenting on other things going on in the room, you know that they are bored or distracted. Adjust for such behavior by adding more inflection to your tone or asking questions to help the child engage.  You may also just need to shorten how long it takes to read a book next time. You can take a “picture walk” by flipping through the book and checking out the pictures. Ask your child to guess what happens in the story based on the pictures. This is a great way to introduce a new story. Being still long enough to understand what a book says can be difficult for a child who has not been read to very often. Children need time to develop an interest in books. To help with this, begin reading stories aloud that are short and have bright colors. Pay attention to what they like and make sure this element is included in each reading time.  For example, a child may like characters who are dogs; or they may like it when you read the mother character with a particular-sounding voice. For children who are active, you may find success with giving them something to fiddle with while you read, like a ball of playdough or a crayon and paper. When you finish the book, ask the child questions to help them remember what they just read. You can also ask them what they think happens after the story ends. Just try not to turn these questions into a quiz or drill, so that it doesn't feel like reading is a task they “have” to do.  Try asking, "What happened at the end of the story?" You could also ask, "What was your favorite part?" Even ask, "Who was your favorite character?"

Summary: Read expressively. Pause to let the child study the pictures. Pause to let the child predict. Adjust your reading based on the child's body language. Be patient with a child new to reading. Ask the child questions about what they read.


Deciding to come out to your friends and family is a big step forward, but it's not necessarily one you have to make right now. If you feel comfortable coming out, do it. You will find people who love and support you and it will also be a lot easier to find and enter into a queer relationship.  If you don't feel comfortable coming out yet, that's okay too! The most important thing is to come out when you feel ready. If you're looking for a compromise, come out, but only to your closest friends and family. If your school already has an LGBTQ club, getting involved is an easy way to meet and surround yourself with fellow queer teens. Not only will you find a support network within the group, you will have access to fellow students who are already out, and, like you, presumably looking for a relationship.  If your school does not have an LGBTQ club already in place, consider working with an advisor to start one. Even if you don’t click with anyone in your club, chances are your friends have their own gay friends. Try to meet as many as you can and see if you find someone you’re attracted to. Many theater and art programs value diversity, allow for creativity, and give people a chance to escape the problems in their everyday lives. By auditioning for plays, joining your school’s chorus or volunteering for stage crew, you put yourself in a position to potentially meet other gay teens, plus, you may avoid much of the homophobia that is traditionally found in more mainstream high school experiences.  As you continue to get involved in theater and the arts, look for programs outside your high school to extend your network. Keep in touch with your older friends after they graduate. Visit them at college and meet their friends – you may click with someone you meet on campus. Statistically speaking, there are other gay teens in your high school – they just might not know it or feel comfortable talking about it yet. Pursue the things you love in high school and chances are you’ll meet another gay teen who is similarly interested in the things you care about.  If you’re already out, you may find that closeted gay teens flock to you, simply because you’re approachable and represent something they desperately want. Be a good friend to them and it may turn into something more. If you’re not out, don’t worry. Come out when you’re comfortable and use this time to focus on your studies and developing your personality.
Summary: Decide whether or not you want to be out. Join your high school’s LGBTQ group. Get involved in your school’s music and art program. Do the things you like to do.