Summarize the following:
No matter what your age is compared to hers, most girls don’t respond well to being asked out by someone they don’t know. Allowing her the chance to even know you exist will make asking her out much easier.  It’s as simple as walking up and saying hello. Most girls respond well to confidence. Although it’s completely natural to be nervous, try your best to be calm and confident. After all, you’re just saying hi. If you have a mutual friend, ask that person to introduce you. This may lessen that awkward factor. Hopefully, you are planning on asking this girl out because there’s something you like about her. Use this as a conversation topic. For example, talk about your mutual friend, the football game, or how you enjoyed watching her play soccer.  "I saw you at the football game on Saturday. Did you see that cat run across the field in the middle of the play?" "Have you seen that new movie yet? I hear it's supposed to be hilarious." If she hasn't seen it, this would be a great opportunity to suggest you see it together. "I saw a picture of you from homecoming on Facebook. Did you really get a limo?" "Sara told me that you are in drama club. I was thinking about joining too. Do you like the advisor?" This may be difficult if your circle of friends doesn’t intersect with hers, which is likely if she is much older than you. Becoming friends with someone is an easy first step in getting to know someone and letting them get to know you.  Ask her to go to a group movie date or other group event. For example, "A bunch of us are going out to the lake on Saturday. You should join us if you're not busy." Ask her if she’s planning on being at the football game. If so, casually mention that you’ll see her there. This is a simple way to get to know someone better, while giving you the time and space to respond. This is especially helpful if you get nervous easily and aren’t quite sure what to say. This is also a great opportunity to gauge her interest.  If her responses are short or if she only responds after you've sent her several messages, she may not be that interested. If she gives you full responses and furthers the conversation, this is a good sign. For example, if you ask her what she thought about the new Superman movie, and she replies with something short and nondescript, like "good" or "I liked it," she may not be that interested. If however, she replies more in depth or asks your thoughts, she may be more interested in chatting with you.

summary: Introduce yourself. Strike up a conversation. Engage in group activities with her. Chat with her on Facebook or by texting.


Summarize the following:
Just because there is a pause in the conversation doesn’t mean it has to be awkward. Perhaps the person is thinking before responding or maybe there is simply a natural pause. Take this opportunity to connect in other ways such as by making eye contact or just being present with the person. Silence doesn’t have to be awkward. It can be filled in other ways besides words.  For example, if someone has shared something difficult with you, perhaps a family member is ill, instead of trying to find the right words, give them a hug. This shows that you care and can say even more than words. Sharing silence with someone when they don’t have anything else to say, is also a good way to allow them space for an emotional response. There is generally something that caused the awkward silence. If you recognize the cause, you can more easily fill the silence. Maybe someone said something that made the other party uncomfortable. Maybe you have vastly different views about something and are avoiding conflict. Maybe you just don’t have that much in common to talk about. Depending on the situation, you can respond accordingly and move forward.  If you said something that made the other person uncomfortable, you can simply apologize by saying something like, “I’m sorry, that was out of place.” Then move the conversation in a new direction. If you don’t have much in common with the other person and have exhausted your shared interests, the silence might be telling you that it’s time to leave. Excuse yourself gracefully by saying something such as, “I have to go drive Donny to football now. Take care.” This works best when the conversation has been halted by somebody saying something embarrassing, rude, or untimely. For example, if you are going on and on about how much you hate chess and the other person then says, “Oh, it’s my favorite game. I’m actually a grandmaster.” You could say something like, “Well I guess we won’t be chess partners anytime soon!” Then change the subject to an area of common ground. You could ask what other games they like. Or if you're talking with a friend and telling them about your great date last night, and they respond with the date they're having tonight, and you discover that you're both dating the same person, the silence will be so thick you could cut it with a knife. Simply say "Awkward!" in a funny voice to diffuse the tension. If you decide you enjoy the person you're talking with, but for whatever reason the conversation has stalled, suggest something you can do together. For example, if you're at a party it could be as simple as becoming the ad hoc greeting committee for new arrivals, or you could volunteer to be the bartenders for a little while. Maybe even create a signature cocktail and name it after the two of you! If you are on a date or one-on-one with someone, suggest a walk, or a snowball fight, or some other activity you can both do at the moment. Focusing on something other than your conversation partner is a sure way to make them uncomfortable and add to the awkwardness. For example, don't take out your phone and start checking for messages. Not only will they feel unimportant, but they might even leave! Find productive ways to deal with silence that involve both of you. If you really feel the need to look at your phone, you can involve the other person by showing them a short video clip or sharing a song with them. This can spark a new conversation. If conversation is not happening for whatever reason and you're in a situation that permits, smile and say "Please excuse me," and walk away. Find a friend to talk to or simply walk outside and get some fresh air. If you're on a date and simply aren’t connecting with the person, call it a night. Say something like, "Well, I really should get going. I have a lot I need to get done tonight, but thanks for dinner."
summary: Accept the silence. Identify the source. Acknowledge the moment. Find an activity. Avoid awkward behaviors. Know when to quit.