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A therapist, counselor, rabbi, minister or another professional will have had experience in helping people cope with unhappy experiences of love. It can be helpful to talk to someone who doesn’t have a personal investment in the situation, who can talk to you without being concerned about taking sides. Self-pity can be due to a long history of bad relationships, starting from childhood. You may need to work through these issues to start improving your relationships. You should not attempt to do this on your own. Seek help from a mental health professional who can guide you through this process.  You may want to check with the therapist to see if examining your past relationships is something that he or she can help you to do. Some therapists prefer to focus on the present rather than digging up problems from your past. Keep in mind that this process can be quite painful and it will take time to complete. You can trust a professional not to share your personal information with others. Seeing a professional can be expensive, but often insurance coverage can help defray the costs. There are also clinics which offer counseling services for free or lower-cost for low income people. . When you've been involved in an unhappy love situation, you might conclude that no one wants you. However, this is a result of rejection and/or being in a bad relationship. Instead, take this opportunity to remind yourself of your positive qualities.  Practicing self-love will aid the healing process of a broken heart, as it affirms your self-worth and self-esteem. If you find yourself engaging in negative self-talk, check yourself. Are these words that you would say to a loved one? If not, consider what you might say to someone whom you loved. There are lots of good reasons to share your feelings with another person. Talking about your frustration will help you see your relationship in a new way, which may offer solutions you hadn’t thought about before.  Talking with a trusted friend is a great way to release pent-up feelings, and will help you feel better. You’ll likely find out that your friend has had similar experiences, which will help if you’re feeling alone. Low self-esteem is an unrealistically negative evaluation of yourself. People with low self-esteem are more likely to find themselves in unhappy love situations. As you develop your ability to care about yourself, you’ll be less likely to feel sorry for yourself.  Perhaps this is a good time to try new activities, join self-help groups, or volunteer to help someone less fortunate than yourself. Paying attention to your own feelings can help you develop self-esteem. When you don’t respect your own feelings, you’re left to believe whatever other people tell you you should feel. Moving your body is an excellent way to stop feeling sorry for yourself. When you force yourself to exercise and get your heart pumping, you’ll start to feel better about yourself. The endorphins that come from exercise will kick in, elevating your mood.   Remember the old expression, “Move a muscle, change a thought.” Exercise helps everything about your life: you’ll sleep better, you’ll become healthier and more fit, and you’ll feel less stressed. When you notice your internal dialogue (or self-talk) repeating negativity, find a way to see things in a new light. For example, if you find yourself telling yourself, “You’re so stupid!” remind yourself that, “That’s okay, it was just a little mistake.” If it was a big mistake, remind yourself that you’ll learn from the experience. You can say, “It’s human to make mistakes. I love myself anyway, and I don’t have to be perfect.”  Being understanding towards yourself when you make a mistake will help you heal as you cope with unreturned feelings of love. When you’re in love with the wrong person, it’s especially important to practice kindness to yourself. This means prioritizing what you want, feel and think. People who fall in love with the wrong person often have spent more time relying on what other people want for them, rather than on what they want for themselves. If you’re trying to cope with an unhappy experience of love, restore your balance by paying attention to yourself.  Consider what really makes you feel happy. When do you feel most “like yourself”? Do more of these things.  When you find yourself doing things that make you feel awkward, silly, or unimportant, it’s okay to try to minimize these things in your life.
Consider talking to a professional. Learn to love yourself Talk to someone you trust. Start to build your self-esteem. Get active. Practice kindness to yourself. Live intentionally.