INPUT ARTICLE: Article: A lot of stress caused by the fear of speaking in public, whether for a presentation or at a social gathering can be derived from not knowing who you’re speaking to. You wonder if you’re saying the right thing. If your point is getting across. If you sound intelligent enough.  Before engaging in any form of public speaking, learn about your audience. If you are giving a presentation you should be able to do this easily. Think about why you are speaking and where you are speaking. Then go through a checklist. Try to be able to answer as to the size of the audience, age, gender, education (experience and socioeconomic level), religion, friendliness, and if the audience knows about you. You can remember this as an acronym, SAGE RFK.   Being able to fill in those blanks will help you form a speech that you will feel comfortable giving. The type of audience will affect how you speak. If you have the chance, interview 3-7 people from the audience. Find out their challenges so you can create teaching points. Ask about their successes so you can highlight them. Doing so will help you build support and trust from the audience during your speech. Negative thoughts associated with the task of public speaking can hinder your ability to present the amazing speech and knowledge you have inside you. Instead of letting negative thoughts prevail, turn those thoughts into positive ones.  Visualize yourself speaking confidently and the audience responding positively to your speech. Imagine audience members benefiting from your speech, and tell yourself that you are in the right place at the right time. If you feel nervous or scared you probably also have nervous thoughts about what might go wrong. Having such thoughts will alter your voice and your body language negatively. Instead of harboring bad feelings and letting negative thoughts fester, remember to think positively. Positive thoughts will make you excited, allow you to relax, and give you confidence. Instead of thinking about how you wish you didn’t have to speak, reframe your thoughts and give yourself a pep talk. You might say to yourself, “Wow! I get to share my knowledge on a subject I’m passionate about with all these wonderful people who want to hear what I have to say!” View the chance to speak as a compliment. And know, that in most cases, the people who are listening to you are there for you. These people want to hear what you have to say. Silences can feel awkward, especially when you’re standing in front of a lot of people who are staring at you and waiting for you to say something. But silences are a chance to breathe and collect your thoughts.   Make speaking a choice. It’s not something you have to do because you’re standing in front of a bunch of people. It’s something you choose to do when you’re ready. Learning to feel ok with silence will help you take your time when speaking publicly. You don’t want to rush your speech. Silences will always feel longer to you than to those not speaking. Just smile and gather yourself but never take too long. If what you speak is good enough, the audience will not mind some silence. Use silence to notice your breathing and stay calm. You can also use silence to let a particular point sink in. If you are speaking and want something you just said to really sink into your audience, silence is a great way to allow that to happen before you move on. Silence is your friend, not your enemy. Understanding how you speak when you’re just having a casual conversation will allow you to improve your public speaking skills. Practice pausing and giving yourself time to collect your thoughts, rather than using filler words to avoid silence.  Pay attention to all the filler words you say in any given conversation. These words are the noises and words you say when you are processing your thoughts and don’t know what to say next. Words and sounds like “Ah,” “Um,” “Like,” “Er.” Getting more comfortable with silence can help you reduce filler words. We also have default speech settings which have become automatic to us over the course of our lives. For example, if someone sneezes, you might say “Bless you.” These behaviors exist in public speaking as well. Identify what behaviors you have, both verbal and nonverbal. Which ones make you look nervous or not authoritative? Once you identify what your behaviors are you can begin to correct these habits. Perhaps you adjust your glasses when you’re nervous. Or pick your fingernails. Maybe you use more filler words. To help you change these habits, learn to be aware of what you’re doing in all settings. Even if you’re talking to a friend on the phone, be cognizant of what you are doing. When you realize you are doing something, make an effort to stop.

SUMMARY: Learn who your audience is. Alter your outlook. Learn to be comfortable with silence. Identify your speech patterns.

INPUT ARTICLE: Article: The first thing you should do before you discuss something important with your parents is figure out what you hope the gain from the conversation. Deciding on a goal you hope to achieve with the conversation can help guide the way you approach it with your parents.  For example, the way you approach an important conversation is different if you’re asking permission to do something than it would be if you needed advice or help with something. Write out what you want to say before you talk to your parents. You can bring your notes with you to make sure you don’t forget anything when you’re talking to your parents. Try to act out the conversation with a close friend or family member that can play the role of your parents and provide helpful input. It can be helpful to have someone provide feedback, and it can calm your nerves to know that you’ve prepared for the conversation as best as you can. Choose a friend, sibling, or family member that you know will be honest and give you feedback that can help you shape the conversation to be the most effective it can be. You may feel like approaching a certain parent could help you get what you want or make the conversation easier, but if it’s really important, you should include both parents. Your parents will recognize that you wanted to get input from both of them and will appreciate it, which could help the conversation go easier.  If your parents aren’t together, try to include one of them on a phone or video call. Choose a time where both parents are more likely to be in a better mood or open to a conversation, like in the evening after work, or at dinner. Pick a place that is appropriate for an important conversation, like the dinner table, or living room. The car or at school isn’t a great idea because there will be other distractions that could derail your conversation.

SUMMARY:
Plan out what you want to say before you talk to your parents. Rehearse the conversation with a friend that you trust. Choose a time and place to talk to both parents at the same time.