Article: Dealing with disrespectful behavior can be very upsetting. However, responding impulsively or saying the first thing that pops into your head can just escalate the situation and lead to unnecessary conflict. If you’re upset, take a moment to breathe and get your feelings under control. If you have to, excuse yourself and leave the room for a few minutes. You might try counting to 10 or doing a grounding exercise, like looking around and seeing how many blue things you can spot. If the disrespectful behavior was relatively mild or was just a one-time event, it’s usually best to ignore it and move on. Confronting the person may not help anything, and could even escalate the situation. However, if the behavior is part of a consistent pattern or if it is interfering with your daily life or your ability to work, a confrontation may be justified.  For example, if your partner or spouse regularly says rude things to you or refuses to take your feelings into account, it’s time to have a talk. On the other hand, if a stranger cuts ahead of you in line at the grocery store, it’s probably not worth your time and energy to confront them about it. If someone is being disrespectful or rude, responding with kindness can take them by surprise and encourage them to rethink their behavior. Instead of getting upset or retaliating, try deescalating the situation with a smile and a few kind words. For example, if a coworker snaps at you to get out of their way, step aside, smile, and say, “Of course, sorry. Would you like a hand carrying that stuff?” If you feel that someone is being disrespectful to you, it’s usually best to talk to them one-on-one. For example, if you’re dealing with a rude coworker, talk to them first before going directly to your boss. Going over the person’s head could ultimately lead to resentment and make the problem worse. If there’s a simple misunderstanding at the root of the problem, you could also hurt their feelings or get them into trouble unnecessarily. In extreme cases, however, bypassing the disrespectful person could be justified. For example, if someone is severely bullying you at school or at work, don’t hesitate to report the problem to someone in authority. You may be tempted to lash out at the rude person and give them a piece of your mind. However, doing so is unlikely to be helpful. Instead, make sure that whatever you plan to say is true, helpful, and necessary for getting your point across.  Insulting the other person or making unfair accusations won’t encourage them to rethink their behavior, and is usually unnecessarily hurtful. Speaking to the other person calmly and deliberately is also more likely to disarm them and break their cycle of rude behavior. When you do confront the other person, be clear and matter-of-fact about the issue. Calmly explain what the problem is and how their behavior is affecting you. Don’t be afraid to firmly but politely ask them to explain their behavior.  Use I-focused language so that the other person does not feel accused. For example, “I feel very disrespected when you speak to me in that tone of voice.” Try saying something like, “I find those kinds of jokes really upsetting. Please don’t joke like that in front of me anymore.” Being confronted is often upsetting. The other person may wish to respond and present their side of the story, especially if they feel you have misunderstood their words and actions. Give them a chance to speak without interrupting, and let them know that you hear and respect what they have to say. Try rephrasing what they say to make sure you understand them correctly. For example, “So you’re saying you weren’t trying to ignore me this morning, you were just distracted. Is that right?” if the disrespectful behavior is a pattern. Appropriate boundaries are an important part of any healthy relationship. It’s especially important to set and enforce clear boundaries with people who have a pattern of being disrespectful to you. Let the person know what you are and are not willing to tolerate, and establish clear consequences if they fail to respect your boundaries.  For example, you might say, “If you continue to play with your phone and ignore me whenever we hang out, I won’t be able to spend time with you anymore.” If the person continues to be disrespectful and regularly violates your boundaries, you may need to limit your time with them as much as possible or even cut ties altogether.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Take a moment to calm down if you’re upset. Determine whether it’s worthwhile to respond. Try disarming them with kindness. Speak to the other person directly if you decide to confront them. Stop and decide what to say before you speak. Be direct but polite. Give them a chance to respond. Set clear boundaries

Once the beans are drained, place them in a large pot. Use a stainless steel, enameled, or other non-reactive pot because reactive materials may alter the taste and color of the natto. Pour enough water into the pot to completely cover the beans. Place the pot on the stove, and bring it to a boil over high heat. Once it’s boiling, turn the heat down to medium and allow the beans to simmer for 9 hours. When the soybeans are finished cooking, place a colander or strainer in the sink. Pour the beans into the colander and shake well to remove all of the excess water.
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Transfer the beans to a large pot. Cover the beans with water and cook them until they’re soft. Strain the beans.