The Church of Satan’s basic membership provides a crimson card of identification, and requires registration on their website. In addition to filling in your personal information, the church requires a fee of $225 in US dollars to become a member. Aside from this fee, you must also write a statement, signed and dated, requesting to join the Church of Satan. This material can be found on the Church of Satan website.  There are no local branches of the Church of Satan. All memberships are processed out of the New York office. No other requirements or fees are required after this registration period. Keep your membership card safe. It is how you will officially identify yourself to other members of the organization. Download the Active Membership application and fill out the information required. Active members in the Church of Satan take a more visible role in church activities, and may be asked to represent Satanism in various functions.  Several questions on the application refer to The Satanic Bible. Make sure to do your homework before applying. Read "The Satanic Scriptures" to gain more insight into what it means to be a Satanist, and the thought process behind the founders of the religion, to be better prepared for the application. You must first be a registered member to become an active member. Live like a Satanist and become a good reflection of the church to rise through the ranks. Though there is no official disclosed methodology for gaining rank, spreading good will regarding the church and representing its teachings in a positive light are advised for getting noticed and promoted by the higher ranking members of the church.  The Church of Satan has six ranks for its members: “Registered,” “Active Member,” “Witch/Warlock,” “Priestess/Priest,” “Magistra/Magister,” and “Maga/Magus.” Holding a Third, Fourth, or Fifth degree considers you a part of the Priesthood of Mendes, and grants the title “Reverend.”
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One-sentence summary -- Register with the Church of Satan. Apply to become an active member. Rise through the hierarchy.


The gold standard for determining the softness of a sheet is thread count. The higher the number, the softer it should be. That having been said, many manufactures artificially inflate thread count, meaning that this is no longer an entirely reliable measure. A thread count from 200-800 is often ideal. Manufacturers that advertise thread counts of over 1000 have often used tricks that might actually detract from the quality of the sheets. Denier measures how thick a fiber is. The thinner the fiber (and thus the the lower the denier) the better. For a fabric to be considered microfiber, it must have a denier lower than .9. The best microfibers currently in production are generally somewhere between .5 and .6 denier. Weave is the way that threads are interwoven together and it influences the feel and durability of sheets. Percale is standard and has a durable and crisp feeling, Sateen has a smoother, silkier feel, but is less durable. Jersey is soft and comfortable, but inclined to shrink. Because so many features of labeling are unreliable, test sheets wherever possible. Touch fabrics on display beds. Try holding the sheet up to a light. If too much light shines through, the fabric is probably light and flimsy. You can buy microfiber sheets in solid colors or in patterns. Think about what will work in your room. Buy microfiber sheets that will match your comforter or quilt. Sheet sets come with a flat sheet, a fitted sheet and depending on the size, 1 or 2 pillow cases. It is often cheaper to buy sets of sheets, rather than purchasing each piece individually. She might have more information to share. Ask for her recommendations and see what her opinion is of the sheets you are considering. Ask about care and durability. Each store has a different return policy, so make sure you know how to return or exchange your sheets if you change your mind after trying the sheets out at home Remember you might find that the sheets don’t fit as well as you thought, or that they don’t feel the way you would hope. Many sheets have also been known to fall apart rather quickly.
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One-sentence summary -- Consider thread count. Research the denier. Consider weave. Touch when possible. Choose a color and pattern. Buy sheets in a set. Talk to a sales associate or customer service representative. Find out if you can return your sheets.


Combine the hoisin sauce, honey, five-spice powder, minced garlic, and grated ginger in a small mixing bowl. Whisk together until evenly mixed.  This sauce does not need to be thickened with heat. If you'd rather not use freshly minced garlic or freshly grated ginger, you can use their powdered forms instead. Use only 1/8 tsp (0.6 ml) of each when opting for the ground and dried versions. Lightly brush this glaze over the ham immediately before baking it. Once the ham is halfway through its anticipated cooking time, apply the remainder of the glaze and continue baking the ham.  Note that you may need to quickly whisk the glaze together again prior to each application. The exact times will vary depending on the weight of the ham. You'll usually need to bake ham for 15 to 20 minutes per 1 lb (450 g) at a temperature of 325 degrees Fahrenheit (163 degrees Celsius). For an 8-lb (3.6-kg) ham, you'll need to cook it for about 1 hour before reapplying the second coat; cook it for another 60 to 90 minutes after that.
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One-sentence summary -- Whisk the ingredients together. Brush the glaze over the ham before and during baking.


See if it needs more sugar or water. Everyone likes their Kool-Aid to taste a little different. Kool-Aid is delicious poured over ice. Fill up a glass with ice and pour in the Kool-Aid. Store your leftover Kool-Aid in the refrigerator for later use.
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One-sentence summary --
Taste test your Kool-Aid. Enjoy over ice.