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Sooner or later, all children will find themselves in a world where they need to obey the rules or suffer harsh consequences. By making your children obey the rules at home, you're actually doing them a favor in the long run. Don't ever punish your children unless they're disrespectful, but when they are, don't hesitate to show them that they've done something wrong. Your rules should be reasonable, simple, and consistent. Be clear with your children about what the rules in your house early on. Don't get upset if your children break a rule that they weren't even aware of. When your child is disrespectful to you, you have two choices: you can lash out in the same way, or you can fight to stay calm. The former option teaches your child that it is acceptable to be rude when someone starts frustrating you. The latter, which is the better choice, teaches that it's important to stay respectful even in the face of people who won't do the same for you. If you can manage to stay respectful, your children will thank you when they eventually have to deal with an annoying boss or an unpleasant teacher. This is vital. Consistent enforcement of your rules shows your children that it's not possible to weasel out of their responsibilities. On the other hand, if you fail to teach your children respect when you're tired or when it's inconvenient, they'll quickly learn that they can get away with bad behavior sometimes. Children are smarter than they're often given credit for. If there's a way for them to get out of learning a valuable lesson, they'll often find it. It's also important to make sure your partner is on the same page as you here. Having one caretaker who is "hard" and another who is "soft" will just teach your children to go to the soft one when they've misbehaved. Whenever you can, have the punishment for disrespect be the natural consequences of your child's actions. In other words, if their disrespect causes something bad to happen to them, let this happen (as long as it is not a serious, physical danger, obviously). The earlier children learn that being disrespectful only creates problems for themselves, the better. For example, if your child is repeatedly rude to her friend when they are playing together, a good natural consequence might be to send the friend home, have your child hand-write an apology letter, and hand-deliver it.
Be strict, but fair. Meet disrespect with respect. Be consistent. Make your punishments fit the crime.