Summarize:

While some guys can deal with a clingy girlfriend, this strategy will usually end in a breakup.  Call him every hour, on the hour, “just to check up.” Every time he answers, tell him how much you missed hearing his voice, that you can’t wait to see him again, that you’ve told everything and everyone all about him. Get mad if he takes too long to answer you. This can be anything from answering a text to answering the phone to answering a question you ask him in person. Make sure you’re dramatic enough to be obnoxious, but not so much that he knows you’re putting on a show Hang on him. Never stop touching him. Wrap your arms around him while you’re walking, and pout slightly if he asks you if you can just hold hands instead. Say things like “I’ll miss you pookie!” when he gets up at dinner to go to the bathroom. Be possessive. Get jealous if he ditches you to spend the evening with his sister, if he tells you he’s going to spend a night with his friends, tell him you’ll come too. If he has a really close friend that’s a girl, tell him you don’t feel comfortable with their friendship and that he has to choose between you and her. Interrupt Boys’ Night, if he has one. Call him in the middle in the throes of an emotional crisis, or, better yet, go over to “surprise” him.  When he comes home or does anything remotely cute, coo in a high pitched voice and saw “Awww my widdle biddy pooh bear, I love you so much” Pretend as if his actual name doesn’t exist. Mr. Pookie Bear, Coochikins, and Cupcake are all good choices. If he mentions it, get offended and say that you thought he loved you for your personality, not just your appearance. Stop wearing deodorant. Burp a lot and then laugh about it. If you have to fart, let ‘er rip. Hide ‘’nothing’’ about your life. If you had a disgusting surgery, tell it in all its gory details. Tell him explicit stories about your exes, family life, and friendship troubles. Nothing will frustrate him more than having to stop sex to deal with something you said.  Stop in the middle of sex and say “I don’t feel like you appreciate me for my personality, I feel like you only appreciate me for my body.” Laugh or cry while you are having sex. Call him by another guy’s name, preferably one that he used to be jealous of. Randomly bring up something you did years ago that you’re ashamed of. “I can’t believe I cut Lucy’s hair in 5th grade. GOD that was mean of me! Do you think I should apologize again?” Start a serious discussion. Ask him things like, “Do you think I’m a bitch?” or,  “What would you do if I told you I was pregnant?” The second one has the added bonus of scaring him, as well. If he takes you to a restaurant, say something like, “Oh, Rick took me here! It was such a romantic evening.  After dinner we went stargazing and he told me he loved me. It was so romantic.” If he does something you don’t like, say something along the lines of “Rick ‘’never’’ would have done that!"
Be clingy. Say “I love you” too soon. Talk in a baby voice. Give him annoying nicknames. Stop making an effort in your appearance. Tell him too much information. Interrupt sex and make-out sessions. Constantly compare him to your ex.