Summarize the following:
If you’re feeling nervous about talking to someone, you can choose another method of delivery. You could try writing a letter or e-mail instead. This can take a lot of the pressure off of you. Just make sure to start your letter by saying something like, “Please make sure you have some time to carefully read this before starting. I have something really important to tell you.”  If you feel confident that you can have a constructive face to face conversation, go for it. One of the benefits of an in person talk is that you will be able to read the person’s reaction. Keep in mind that if you put your thoughts in writing, then you will not have control over it after you send it. This is an important thing to tell someone, and it’s possible that it might become emotional. Choose a time when both of you will be able to have a thorough talk. Don’t approach someone when they are clearly busy or distracted. For example, don’t try to grab your mom as she is rushing out the door to work.  Choose a place that feels right to you. If you feel more comfortable in a private place, try your living room or kitchen. If you have concerns that the talk might not go well, think about choosing a more public spot, like a coffee shop. If you present the topic as potentially negative, the listener is more likely to feel that it is bad news. Try starting your talk by saying something positive. This way you can set the tone for the type of conversation that you want to have.  Say, “I have something important that I want to share with you. I’m feeling great about it, and I’m happy I can be honest with you.” Don’t say, “I have to tell you something that you might not want to hear.” This will make your parents feel upset and stressed. Don’t take too long to get to your main point. Make sure that you clearly state your news at the beginning of the conversation. You could try saying, “Thanks for sitting down with me to talk. I wanted to let you know that I am bisexual.”  Don’t hedge by saying, “I’m wondering if I’m bisexual,” or “I was wondering what you would think if I told you I was bisexual.” Make sure to let them know why it is important for you to tell them as well. For example, you might want them to know because you don’t want them to be surprised if they notice you dating someone of the same sex. The immediate response may be positive and supportive, but  this is not always the case. The other person will likely need some time to process the news. If they’re quiet, don’t press them to have an immediate reaction.  You could say, “I understand that you’re taken off guard. Do you want to take a few minutes to think about this?” You may need to tell some people more than one time before they fully understand. For example, if you tell your parents or friends, then they may experience some shock at first and need some time to process what you have told them. You may need to bring up it up again later and see if they have any questions. Some people aren’t exactly sure what it means to be bisexual. The person you’re telling might have some questions to ask you. If you feel comfortable doing so, give them honest answers. If you can explain a little bit about what it means to be bisexual, they might be more willing to listen.  Questions such as “Are you sure?” and “Don’t you think this is a phase?” are very common. Explain that you are attracted to people who are male, female, and gender non-conforming. Tell them how this may affect them and their relationship with you. It’s a good idea to arm yourself with as much information as you can. That way, you can offer resources to the person you’re telling. You could recommend checking out the website of your local LGBTQ center. You could also recommend the student support center at a university. For example, The University of Southern California has some great material online.

summary: Decide whether or not to have a face to face talk. Find the right time and place. Start with the positives. Be clear and direct. Allow time for them to process. Be prepared to answer questions. Provide resources.


Summarize the following:
Avoiding things you dread doing never makes it easier to do them. Force yourself to tackle the hard stuff early in the day while you are somewhat fresh. You’ll rarely stop dreading something if you put it off longer. Once the dreaded task is completed, you’ll feel a burden lifted and it will spur you on for the rest of the day.  Dreaded tasks may not always be things that are prioritized highest, but it’s an exception to the priority rule. If you are dreading something that also happens to be a time-consuming task, weigh this in mind. Maybe you can tackle a significant chunk of the process in the morning one day and finish it in the morning the next day. You’ll have times when you are working on something important, but you just hit a wall and stop making progress. Staring at the wall and beating yourself up are not helpful, so make a smooth transition on to other work. You may need to come back quickly, but taking a break will help keep you productive.  Switching off to another task may not always be an option, especially if you are under a tight time crunch. Consider your situation and act accordingly. Maybe you don’t have time to switch completely to a different project, but you can take a five minute breather and refocus. If you have the time to switch off to a different project, give that one your full attention. It’s no use changing projects if your mind is stuck on the first one. You may have habits while working on projects, but you realize those things are not directly contributing to the work at hand. Don’t make extra work for yourself. Evaluate your processes and look for things that you can stop doing. This will free up time for important things and will streamline your efforts.  For example, maybe you always make a themed bulletin board for new projects, which is really only a tactic to put off getting started. Or maybe you come up with funny code names for team members, but you never actually use them during the project. You don’t want to start cutting things out that are worthwhile practices, but try to be honest about what things contribute and what things don’t.
summary: Pick something you dread and get to work on it first thing in the morning. Make course corrections when you hit a wall. Eliminate unnecessary aspects of the work.