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Place your baby in their crib after their bedtime routine. Leave the room and allow them to cry for 5 minutes. Return to the room after 5 minutes and give your baby a reassuring pat. Leave for 10 minutes and then come back to reassure your baby again. Continue to increase the time by 5 minutes each time you leave the room.
The Ferber Method is compatible with any bedtime routine, so you won't have to change what has been working for your baby. The only difference is in how you respond to your baby after they are in bed. Go through your usual routine with your baby. Then, once your baby is drowsy and ready for sleep, place them into their crib. After you have placed your baby on their back, exit the room. Your baby may cry, but this is normal. Allow your baby to cry for up to 5 minutes before returning to the room again. You can listen just outside the door or use a baby monitor. After 5 minutes have passed, come back into your baby’s room and give your baby a reassuring pat and tell them everything is okay. Try saying something like, “You’re okay! Mommy loves you!” or “Go back to sleep, sweetie. I love you!” After reassuring your baby, leave the room again and this time do not return for 10 minutes. Your baby may continue crying for the full 10 minutes or they may tire themself out and fall asleep. Either way, wait for 10 minutes before you return to the room, and then reassure your baby in the same way as before. This can be difficult for many parents to do since listening to your baby cry can be heartbreaking. However, it is a necessary part of the process. The goal is to gradually increase the time by 5 minutes after each visit to your baby’s room to reassure them. At a certain point, your baby should fall asleep on their own. Repeat the process every night and your baby should fall asleep faster after a few nights of using this technique. Keep in mind that this method is controversial. Some parents think it is too extreme and prefer variations where they stay in the room while their baby cries or where they wait until the baby’s natural bedtime—no matter how late it is—and then put the baby to bed when they seem truly sleepy. If this technique does not work for you and your baby, then try something else.