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Assess the other person’s anger level. Tell the other person you care about them. Apologize to the other person. Ask the other person if you can both take a breather. Make a light-hearted joke. Walk away if the fight persists.
Look for visible signs of anger, like clenched fists, tense shoulders, and shaking. You want to know how angry they are so you can decide the best way to de-escalate the situation. If someone is visibly upset, they may lash out verbally or physically if you try to walk away. You may want to hear them out before you try to leave. Disarm them by sharing how you feel in a genuine way. Telling someone you love or care about them when you’re fighting can be hard, but it might help de-escalate the situation. For example, you could say “I love you and don’t want us to get angry at each other like this. Let’s not fight right now.” You don’t have to mean it or believe they’re in the right. Set aside your pride and say you’re sorry so you can avoid a bad situation from getting any worse. Sometimes, an apology is all they need to hear. For example, you could say to a stranger you got in a fight with “I’m so sorry. That was my fault and I didn’t mean for this to turn into a fight.” Put the fight on pause so you can both have a moment to calm down. You’ll probably find that you’re both thinking more rationally when you come back together.  For example, you could say to your friend that you’re fighting with “We’re not getting anywhere right now. Want to cool off and talk about this later?” If your friend is still persistent, explain that you want to resolve this flight, but you can't do it when you're not thinking clearly. This way, they won't feel attacked. Use humor to cut through the tension between you and the other person. They might be too angry to laugh, but a joke could stop the fight from escalating any further.  Don’t use sarcasm or make a joke at the other person’s expense. This will make them feel that you're not taking their feelings seriously. If you’re fighting with a friend or your significant other, try an inside joke that you can both laugh about. Don’t allow the other person to use insults and personal attacks to rile you up. If someone is insistent on fighting with you, and you’ve tried to defuse the situation, you should leave. Walk away calmly, but with confidence. Confidence is key. If you appear insecure, the person may try instigating a fight with you. Keep your back straight, your shoulders pulled back, and your head high.