Fear can paralyze you and keep you from taking an active part in your life. Some of us will do anything to not challenge our negative view of ourselves.  This happens because for some reason we’re afraid to act against those thoughts.  It could be that we are invested in staying stuck.  Growth is painful.  Even though a life without growth is stagnant, it is something the individual has become familiar with.  It’s like wearing a pair of old, beat up shoes. They’re not very pretty, but they are something you feel comfortable with.  And believe it or not, even a negative self-concept can be comfortable for some of us because it doesn’t involve change. Perhaps the best example of fear paralyzing people is found when we ask why battered women stay in abusive relationships.   The fear actually keeps them from acting in the own best interests.  The emotional dependence they have on their batterer is what prevents them from leaving a situation where their very lives may be at risk. . There may be things in your past that you’re not proud of. Some of these things may actually make you dislike yourself. Once you acknowledge that you were doing the best you could under the circumstances, even some of the most harmful behavior and heinous acts can be forgiven.  By holding on to the negative thoughts revolving around bad behaviors, you are not allowing yourself to grow and move past these events. .  Think about how you’d speak to a friend who had difficulty liking herself.  Would you reinforce the negative thoughts? Or would you focus on some of her strengths?  Point out to yourself the reasons why you are a likeable and lovable person. .  Believe what others are saying about you.  They’re not just trying to make you feel good.  They genuinely like you.  Start looking at yourself through their eyes.  This may quiet the inner critic so that you can begin liking yourself as others do. Know that you can start small. Another reason some are afraid to change is that they think of they change one thing about themselves they will have to change everything.  They are afraid that the floodgates will open and they will not be able to continue in the life they’ve been living because they must make monumental changes in order to be happy.  Start with small changes like smiling at one stranger every day, or repeating a positive mantra to yourself, or getting more sleep every night. Making small steps one at a time can be less overwhelming than trying to make drastic and massive changes all at once. With these small steps, you might be taking yourself out of your comfort zone. Getting outside your comfort zone is something that will happen to you a lot in your life. If you can control certain instances of it, for practice, you'll find that you're better able to feel confident in yourself and your own abilities when life throws you a curveball. Remember that you are trying to undo a lifetime of negative thinking.  It’s not going to happen overnight, but with the right approach you can begin to like yourself.  You must be willing to confront the inner critic that has been preventing you from liking yourself. You must be able to forgive all the wrongdoing you believe you’ve committed in the past.  You must begin to look for your lovable qualities and remind yourself that others see the value in you.  This will lead to your accepting yourself as a lovable and likeable person. Have trust in yourself. You are a survivor and you will do whatever it is that you need to do to improve your quality of life. If nothing else, you survived your difficult past. That takes a certain amount of strength and perseverance that not everybody has. Build on the strengths you have shown to get this far in your life.
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One-sentence summary -- Don’t allow fear to overcome you. Forgive yourself Become your own best friend Start accepting yourself Start small with one change at a time. Be patient.


More experienced players often pick and choose the materials that go into building their paddles to fine-tune their performance. Customize your paddle by deciding what type of wood you’d like to use for the construction, narrowing down a rubber that gives you the right balance of speed and control and incorporating other materials that alter the paddle’s specs. Built your ideal paddle by selecting and assembling each part individually.  Other materials used in ping pong paddles include carbon fibers, which increase the strength of the paddle and gives it extra snap, and compressed paper, which reduces the paddle’s weight. After you’ve been playing long enough, you’ll start to form an idea of exactly what kind of paddle you need to be at your best. All ping pong paddles have the same basic shape, but certain types vary the width of the blade or the length and design of the handle to be better for specific play styles. For a classic shake hands grip, find a paddle with a thick, sturdy handle to give your stroke some authority. If you play with the penhold hand position, choose a lighter weight paddle with a longer, more narrow handle that permits quick brushing motions of the wrist. Some paddles are designed specially for players who favor a penhold grip. These paddles are longer and more ergonomic, and sometimes even include an extra fin of wood around the handle for added security. You’ve found a wooden blade you like, but do you rubberize just one side of the paddle or both? This is mostly a matter of preference. An additional rubber and sponge will add to the overall weight of the paddle, but you’ll have more control when alternating between forehand and backhand strokes. You might also choose to rubberize both sides of the paddle, but use a different texture and thickness for each side. That way, you’ll be able to switch between both sides of the paddle when you need to make different shots. Competitive players often use two different rubbers on their paddles, each with slightly different properties for more versatile strategies. Ping pong paddles are available in lots of sizes, shapes and styles. It can be worth trying out a few different types before settling on one you really like. Heavier paddles are better for offensive players who use quickness to win games, while lighter, more flexible paddles allow defensive players to regulate the speed and direction of the ball. Play with paddles of various weights and dimensions whenever you get the chance until you find out what works best for you.  The weight of a paddle is determined by its thickness. Thicker paddles let you drive the ball with greater speed but sacrifice control. Thinner paddles offer the most control over the ball but tend to return a little slower.  Each type of paddle has its own unique advantages and disadvantages. Again, it's about learning your strengths and weakness as a player and finding a paddle that is suitable for you.
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One-sentence summary --
Select your own custom materials. Choose a paddle that’s designed for your preferred grip. Decide whether you want rubber on one or both sides of the paddle. Experiment with different sizes and weights.