Article: Trying to change someone else’s actions usually ends in frustration, because you cannot control another person’s behavior. However, you can change your own behavior.  For example, if a friend is having trouble with alcohol, you can avoid drinking alcohol around her. Offer other options for socializing, such as going to the movies instead of the bar. Remember that you are not responsible for the person’s behavior, or its consequences. For example, if the person’s substance abuse is interfering with their ability to hold down a job, it is not your responsibility to pick up the slack. Doing so may actually enable the other person to continue abusing the substance. You do not have to make excuses for the other person, or cover up their substance use. You do not have to give the other person money to buy substances. Boundaries are meant to protect both of you. They can help protect you from feeling abused, manipulated, or endangered. They can help the person you love know what is and what isn’t acceptable behavior.  Consider what behaviors you are willing to be flexible with, and which are “hard lines.” For example, the person may be hostile or rude to you, especially when s/he is using the substance. This is unacceptable behavior, but depending on your relationship, you may be willing to tolerate some level of it. However, physical abuse or prolonged psychological abuse cause substantial damage. This is particularly true if young children are involved in the environment. As hard as it may seem, setting hard boundaries that absolutely prohibit this type of behavior is important to protect you and the other people affected by the user’s behavior. There is a fine line between keeping yourself healthy and safe, and confronting your own prejudices and assumptions regarding substance use. It is important that the person with the substance issue know that you will not be bullied or manipulated into supporting their addiction. However, it’s also important that the person knows you are a source of the support they need, rather than the behaviors they might want from you.  Enforce consequences, especially for hard line boundaries. These could be very small, such as not rescheduling plans to accommodate the other person. Or, they could be more significant, such as leaving the house or setting up a separate bank account.  There is a difference between being flexible and putting yourself in danger. If you believe that you are in danger from the person using drugs or alcohol, call for help and leave the situation. 911, emergency services, and numerous hotlines are available. Alcohol and drugs can cause violent and unpredictable behaviors even in those who don’t have a history of such actions. Caring for or even interacting with someone who is having problems with drugs or alcohol can be emotionally, mentally, and physically taxing. You may find it helpful to find your own sources of support, such as a support group or counseling.  Nar-Anon and Al-Anon are support networks for family and friends of those struggling with drugs or alcohol. Nar-Anon offers support meetings for family and friends of drug abusers. Al-Anon offers support meetings for family and friends of alcohol abusers.  You may also find meeting with a therapist helpful, particularly if you have feelings of guilt or responsibility for the other person. In some cases, the person may choose drugs or alcohol over you, and a therapist can help you work through that. It’s important to take care of your body, as well as your emotions. Caring for others is a very stressful experience, and can put you at increased risk of becoming ill. Taking proper care of yourself also sets a good example of self-care for your loved one.  Get enough sleep. Try to avoid stimulants in the evening. Don’t use screens for a few hours before going to bed. Establish a regular “routine” for before bed.  Eat well. Eat plenty of fruits, vegetables, and high-fiber complex carbohydrates. Stress can wreak havoc on your immune system, and the antioxidants in fruits and vegetables can help boost your body’s ability to fight off illness. Complex carbohydrates, like sweet potatoes, brown rice, and legumes, may cause your brain to produce serotonin, a relaxing hormone.  Exercise. Exercise will not only keep you fit, it can reduce the effect of stress. Exercises that focus on your breath and mindfulness, such as Yoga and Tai Chi, may be particularly helpful.   Reduce stress. You may find  meditation helpful. Listening to quiet, slow music may relax you. Breathing exercises, such as deep breathing, can help you feel calm and can even reduce your blood pressure. Caring for and supporting someone struggling with drugs or alcohol abuse can be exhausting. Don’t stretch yourself too thin, or put yourself in dangerous situations. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for the other person either. There is no shame in respecting your own limitations and caring for yourself.  People using alcohol and/or drugs may blame you for their problems. They may attempt to manipulate you by threatening to use or self-harm if you do not give them what you want. You will need to remind yourself that you are not responsible for anyone’s actions but your own.  Alcohol and drugs can cause people to be in denial about the severity of their issues. They may lie to you about their behavior. They may steal or even use threats or violence to get more of the substance. Detaching from this situation may be your best option.
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Determine what you can change. Set boundaries. Stand firm with your boundaries. Get some support for yourself. Practice self-care. Admit your limits.
Article: It can be tough to find vegan alternatives that accurately mimic the taste of the non-vegan counterparts. It’s important to choose a vegan margarine that you enjoy, so taste a bit before you begin this recipe. If you hate the taste of your vegan margarine, you will not like the taste of your finished frosting! Vegans know there are plenty of variations of non-dairy milk on the market. The kind of milk you use can certainly affect the finished taste of your buttercream frosting. You can use soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, cashew milk, and so on – just make sure you can imagine it’s flavor in a frosting. For example, soy milk’s aftertaste might not work as well as vanilla cashew milk’s. Choosing your milk is a matter of personal preference. The great thing about this vegan buttercream frosting recipe is that it can be used as a base for a variety of different flavors. For example, adding a bit of fruit juice can transform it in both taste and color. If you are using it to decorate, you can add a few drops of food coloring to create any color you like. Don't be afraid to get creative with your flavors. Add a few drops of peppermint oil for peppermint frosting. A little bit of strawberry jelly will make fruity, pink frosting. If you want, you can even chop up your favorite vegan candy and put it in your frosting for a little bit of crunch. Experiment!
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Find a vegan margarine you enjoy. Choose your non-dairy milk. Experiment with optional mix-ins.
Article: A game night is always a great way to have fun. Gather a few of your favorite games, get some snacks and drinks, and settle in for a night of laughter. Here are some 2-player board and card games you could try: Exploding Kittens Jenga Connect 4 Uno Scattergories Yahtzee Battleship Checkers Chess
Question: What is a summary of what this article is about?
Have a couple's game night with your favorite board or card games.