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Depending on how tall the child is, get down onto your knees or sit on the floor to talk with them. Eye contact is super important for communication, and if you are towering over them, they probably can’t see your eyes or facial expressions very well.   If it’s hard for you to kneel or sit on the hard floor, try bringing a chair over to where they are. If you’re trying to talk about something serious that the child might be avoiding, ask them to make eye contact with you. If after you ask them to make eye contact and they still won’t, consider coming back to the conversation later or have the conversation while they are looking away from you. If they use a doll or stuffed animal to talk through, talk back to that toy. If they start telling you about how they went to the moon recently, ask them to tell you more about what they did there. Imagination and playing make-believe is a big part of creativity, so play along! Don’t correct them if they tell you something you know isn’t true, like that the middle of the earth is made of cheese. Just go with it—you might even have more fun than you imagined! “Would You Rather” is a fun game to play with kids, as is “I Spy.” You could even build something with them out of LEGOs or do a puzzle with them. Doing an activity together provides a backdrop for communication and connection.  Make sure to keep questions and games kid-friendly! For older children, you may want to learn (or ask them to teach you) how to play their favorite video games or games on the phone. They also might like to learn more advanced board games, like Monopoly or Clue. It’s okay to tell a child that you don’t like a particular activity (chances are they would tell you if they were bored or didn’t want to do something). Ask if there is something else they would like to do, or make a suggestion for a different activity you could do together. In the end, be open to making compromises, and perhaps set a time limit for how long you will do a certain activity.  Be honest and say something like, “I don’t enjoy playing with Play-Doh because it makes my hands smell funny. Could we color together instead?” For older children, ask them to explain to you why they like an activity so much. It might just spark an interest in you, too! Even if it’s not a new toy from the store, just bringing something that they don’t normally play with is a fun and exciting thing! Younger children might like colored pencils, construction paper, stuffed animals, puppets, or small puzzles—things you may already have around the house that you could toss into a bag to bring with you. For older children, bring new books or puzzles.  If this is a child you see regularly, like a niece or nephew, try to always have something new in your bag. That way, every time you show up, they will be excited to see what new kinds of activities you brought along! If you are a babysitter, consider creating a babysitting bag. Pretend like you are going to take a nap but want a “bed-time story” first. Lay down on the floor with a pillow and ask them to tell you a story. They can read to you from a book if they are old enough, or they could re-tell one of their favorite stories, or make up a new one of their own! Or, tell them a story—either one you have made up or you could let them pick out a book for you to read to them. Another fun option is to have them tell you a story and you write it down for them. Then, you can talk about it and even draw pictures about it together later.
Get on your knees or sit down so you are level with them. Play along with younger children when they say weird things. Learn a few games you can play with them. Find compromises on activities to do together. Bring along gifts. Tell stories to each other.