Q: Pessimism is the orientation toward life of expecting that things will go poorly. Usually, people become pessimistic because things in their lives actually did go badly. Pessimistic people often seem negative because they are quick to shoot down ideas and possibilities. Just remember that these people most likely have a history of bad things happening in their lives, so from their perspective, pessimism might seem totally reasonable.  People who have pessimistic views may see positive thinking as "sticking your head in the sand" or refusing to acknowledge life's problems. You can help encourage your friend learn to think more positively by modeling healthy positive thinking in your interactions.  For example, a friend with a pessimistic view may say, "I shouldn't even try for that interview, because I'll never get the job." Someone who is refusing to acknowledge reality might respond, "Oh, you'll definitely get the job! There's no way you're not the best!" While this may sound positive, it isn't helpful because it's clearly unrealistic and doesn't acknowledge your friend's genuine concerns. Instead, be positive but realistic: "Okay, maybe you might not be the most qualified person in the world for that job...but you won't know if you can get it unless you apply. You do have a lot of the qualities they're looking for. What would it hurt to apply?" Depression is a mood disorder marked by symptoms such as feeling hopeless, an inability to feel pleasure, and extended fatigue. Depression is the source of a lot of negativity; understanding it will help you understand negative friends who may be depressed. Depression is caused by a lot of different factors outside the control of the person, such as genes, family environment, and peer environment. People who feel depressed have difficulty mustering the energy to do things. Because of how tired and “low down” depressed people feel, they may seem really negative and unhappy.  People with major depression can't just "snap out" of feeling bad. However, depression is very treatable with therapy and medication. Other symptoms of depression include: frequent feelings of sadness or teariness, angry outbursts, lack of interest in things you used to enjoy, changes to weight, sleep, or appetite, feelings of worthlessness or guilt, and frequent thoughts of harm to self or death. Depression is a serious condition that makes it hard for people to connect emotionally and live a happy, healthy life. You can't "fix" your friend's depression, but if you've noticed signs that worry you, talking to her can be a good way to show you care and encourage her to get help.  Frame your talk with "I"-statements, such as "Lately I've noticed you don't want to hang out as much. I'm worried about you. Would you like to talk?" Ask questions. Don't assume you know what's going on. Instead, ask your friend some questions, such as "Have you been feeling this way for awhile? Did something happen to make you feel this way?" Offer support. You should let your friend know that you care about her and are there to support her. Often, people with depression feel very bad or worthless about themselves. Let her know that you care for her and are there for her by saying something like, "I really value our friendship. Even if you don't want to talk right now, I'm always here for a chat if you want." People with depression may respond with anger or irritation to your attempt to help. Don't take it personally, and don't try to force the issue. Anxiety can cause frustration and irritability. People with anxiety may feel powerless in their own lives, or terrified of things that don't seem scary to others. They may spend so much time worrying about the fear that they have trouble thinking or concentrating on anything else. People who experience a lot of anxiety may be snappy and lash out more than people who don’t, creating a lot of negative emotional energy in their lives.  If your friend constantly seems to worry about things or feel "out of control" of her own life, she may be experiencing anxiety issues. Like depression, anxiety is a mental disorder that is serious but can be treated. You can't "fix" your friend's anxiety, but you can show her that you care about her and want to support her. Many people with anxiety feel bad about their inability to control their worrying, which paradoxically leads to more worry. They may feel that seeking treatment is a sign of weakness or that they're "broken." Encourage your friend by reminding her that seeking treatment is actually a sign of strength and self-care. Use "I"-statements when you talk to your friend about her anxiety. Don't make her feel worse about herself by saying things like "You need to work on your anxiety." Instead, say something reassuring and kind, like "I feel like you've been really worried and stressed out the last several times we've spent time together. Are you okay?" Many times, people who feel insecure or inadequate have a difficult time being positive and responding well to positive events. This can feel like an act of self-protection, since they are suspicious of being rejected or hurt more. As misguided as it may be, understanding the logic behind it can be useful in dealing with it. You can help build your friend's self-esteem in several ways:  Give her positive feedback. Overcoming that self-protective instinct takes time. Whenever you see even the slightest hint of growth, tell your friend something positive about it. For example, "I'm so glad you decided to come out to the bowling alley with us today! I've really missed you." Encourage her. Overcoming negativity is hard work, and she will have relapses. Keep encouraging her to try new tactics. Listen to her. Many people may feel low self-esteem because they feel others don't listen or care about them. Take the time to listen to your friend, acknowledge her concerns, and share your ideas with her. This will make her feel involved in your life, and let her know that she's important to you. We tend to think of negative behavior as a choice, but it’s more complicated than that. Negativity, whether it’s coming from depression, pessimism, anxiety, insecurity, or something else, is something that no one has complete control over. There are steps people can take to reduce negativity in their lives, but judging someone for being negative can sometimes just make things worse. Remember that you can't "fix" your friend's problems. However, you can be there to support her. Just remember to take care of yourself, too.
A: Recognize pessimism. Look for signs of depression. Talk to your friend about depression. Watch for signs of anxiety. Encourage your friend to seek treatment for anxiety. Get a grasp on insecurity and self-esteem. Realize that negativity is partly unconscious.

Q: Beating procrastination takes a lot of work, and it's best to start with a small goal. Look through your planner for an assignment that's due in a few weeks. Set a personal goal to get that assignment completely finished at least three days before it's due. Write down the days you plan to work on the assignment in your planner, and stick to them. Once you've achieved the goal of getting one assignment done early, do it again! Keep setting new goals until all or of your assignments are scheduled to be done before they're due. Getting distracted with your phone, video games, or friends is a big part of why people procrastinate. If this is you, set a goal of being distracted as little as possible. Put your phone on silent and move it to another room, shut down any computer programs or apps you aren't using for work, and don't keep the TV on in the background. If you can, shut the door to the room you're in to prevent further distractions. Very few people can actually work effectively with music playing. If you like to listen to music while you work but find you aren't getting anything done, try going without it for an hour to see if your concentration improves. It's hard to get over procrastination, so make sure you reward yourself for a job well done! Rewards can be big or small. You can get yourself a cookie for working for an hour without looking at your phone, or you can splurge on a new outfit for handing in all of your assignments at least a day early.
A:
Set a goal of getting one assignment done before the due date. Set goals for your other assignments. Limit distractions until you're finished working. Reward yourself for meeting your goals.