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Once you've confronted your present hurt, you need to give yourself permission to move forward.  The grieving/healing stage lasts longer for some than it does for others, so there is no way to predict how much time will pass before you are able to grow past it. Once the urge to move forward becomes natural instead of forced, however, you may want to consider acting on it. You don't need to forget the past, but you do need to reach a point where it is no longer your focus. You need to forgive both yourself and your lost love.  Your anger and bitterness has no effect on your lost love. Instead of making him or her miserable, you will only make yourself miserable. Admit to any mistakes you made. Instead of regretting those errors, commit yourself to correcting them in the present and avoiding them in the future. Even though this experience brought you pain, it may have benefitted you in some way, too. Consider the positive things you gained from the relationship and the split.  For instance, your lost love may have introduced you to a hobby you're passionate about or taught you a skill you're glad to have. In general, people are often improved by the process of loving someone. Nurturing your ability to love with one person can make it easier to love yourself and those around you. Losing your old love can open the door for a healthier relationship or new path in life. Indulge in old interests but try to find a few new ones, as well.  Old interests and passions can be comforting, so they can give you the strength to keep moving forward on otherwise dark days. New interests shake up your routine and encourage growth as a whole person. By developing a side of you that your lost love never knew, you may begin to feel as though you really have changed from who you were in the past. Don't abandon your old friends, but don't undervalue the importance of making new friends, either.  New friends never knew who you were while you were in your old relationship, so their presence won't remind you of your past hurt. As you meet new people, do your best to be trusting, open, and honest with them. Doing so might be difficult after you were hurt so badly, but remember that the new people you meet were not responsible for your past pain and deserve an opportunity to earn your trust. Learn to love yourself when you're alone. You should love who you currently are, but working toward some positive self-improvements can reinvigorate your self-esteem and make the process easier.  Quit a bad habit, like smoking, or start on a healthy diet and exercise program (if you need it). If there's an aspect of your personality that frustrates you, take steps to improve it. For instance, consider a class on public speaking if you want to be more comfortable talking in front of strangers. Work on one self-improvement at a time to avoid overwhelming yourself. If you overwhelm yourself, you're more likely to fail, and failure may cause a setback in your growth. When you have a hard time loving yourself or begin feeling sorry for yourself, a good way to combat the feeling is to focus on doing something kind for someone else.  Be there for your friends and relatives when they need your support. Take time to volunteer. Mow your neighbor's lawn or spend a few hours at a local soup kitchen. Walk dogs at a nearby animal shelter or visit an acquaintance in the hospital.
Focus on forward motion. Forgive. Consider the good. Pursue your interests. Meet new people. Love yourself. Let yourself love others.