If you’re upset when he and his mates ignore you or goof off, let him know. Wait until you’re alone to avoid embarrassing him. Say exactly what’s on your mind in a calm, rational manner. Keep the conversation in the first person as much as possible. Use sentences that start with “I feel…,” “I think…,” or “I wanted…” This will make him fell less under the gun. For example, you could say, “I don’t mean to sound whiney, but it makes me feel left out when you and your mates ignore me. I wanted to talk to you about it now before it comes a regular thing.” Don’t bad-mouth his mates or say anything he could interpret as an insult. He might not even realize he’s offended you. If you leap right into verbal abuse, you could end up making an awkward situation much worse. Verbal communication is only half of the equation. During your conversation, maintain eye contact and lean forward to show your undivided attention. If you normally gesture when you talk, don’t change your habit. When he talks, nod to signal your understanding. Compromise is key in a healthy relationship. Each of you needs to give something to get something. Agree that you won’t nag about his behavior if he stands up for you or includes you in conversations with his mates.

Summary: Voice your concerns. Choose your words carefully. Watch your body language. Come to an understanding.


Commercially grown anthurium are typically propagated using cuttings and grafts. It is possible to grow anthurium from seeds, but the resulting plant may have unpredictable characteristics if it was produced by a hybrid mother plant, and may be more difficult to grow. Outside of tropical areas, it may be difficult to even locate fresh anthurium seeds. If you are growing an anthurium cutting or an adult plant, skip to the start of another section. Anthurium seeds must be fresh and moist when planted. If you do not have an anthurium plant yourself, ask another gardener or garden store whether you can collect some of their plants' fruits, which are rarely used. If you live in a tropical New World region, you may be able to harvest wild anthurium plants. There are hundreds if not thousands of anthurium species, so you may wish to refer to a local plant identification booklet.  Warning: The fruit, along with all other parts of the anthurium plant, are toxic and should not be eaten. The pulp of the fruit, surrounding the seed, may prevent the seed from growing or cause mold. Rub off as much pulp as you can with your fingers, then drop the seed into a cup of water. Leave it in there for a day or two while the pulp material detaches and floats to the top.  Warning: Some species of anthurium may irritate the skin. Using gloves is recommended. Prepare a potting mix with equal parts sphagnum peat moss, pearlite and pine bark. The soil needs of anthurium seeds are similar to the needs of adult plants. Anthurium plants are native to the tropics, and require warm, humid environments. There are a couple different ways you can recreate this environment:  Place the potting mix in 4 inch (10 centimeter) flowerpots. Place a seed on the surface of the soil, one per flowerpot, and place a glass canning jar upside down over each pot.   Or layer the bottom of a shallow, earthenware tray with your prepared potting mix. Scatter the seeds evenly over this, and cover with a flat sheet of glass or plastic over the tray, leaving a gap of air between the sheet and the soil. Wet the potting mix slightly, then cover with the clear barrier as described above to keep the environment moist. Wetting the mossy mixture may also help prevent the seed from sinking beneath the surface, which reduces the likelihood of germination. If tap water in your area is hard, use bottled water instead. Keep the potting mix at a temperature of about 80ºF (27ºC), in an area of indirect sun or partial shade. Keep the soil moist while you wait for the seeds to germinate, as they are very vulnerable to drying out at this stage. Within about 20–30 days, the seeds should sprout and grow their first root and leaves, after which they can be moved to a larger container and cared for, as described above. Move the young plant carefully, as the roots may be fragile. Ideally, use a scoop to pick up the mossy material surrounding the plant, and drop this gently onto the new pot after preparing it as described below.

Summary: Start with seeds for an added challenge. Harvest ripe anthurium fruit. Remove the pulp. Prepare a potting mix for the seeds. Plant the seeds and potting mix in a flowerpot or tray, with a clear covering. Lightly moisten the potting mix. Keep in a warm environment, away from direct sunlight.


About 1/2 to 3/4 inches (approx. 13mm to 19mm) from the top and bottom, draw a line across the can. It should go about halfway around the can and then finish with another down the middle of the two lines drawn on  the can, to form an "I" (see the image). Make sure that the lines match up on their ends. You will want to open these 'doors' when you use the light.
Summary: Create a 'door' cut. Cut a hole in the plastic lid to match the size of your light source.