Q: Many people don't know how to react when someone they care about goes through a great loss like this. It is common to feel like maybe you shouldn't say anything: either because acknowledging it is too painful or because you're afraid that you'll say something hurtful. However, saying nothing can be even more hurtful than saying the wrong thing. Do acknowledge this terrible loss, even if only briefly. It will help and even this small gesture can make them feel less alone. All you have to say is something like, "I heard that you lost your child. I want to extend my deepest sympathy to you and your whole family. Please, let me know if there's anything at all that I can do to help you." Many people just don't know what to say in deeply serious situations like this. Admitting that you don't know how to react in a helpful way can actually, in itself, be helpful to your friend. When you do this, you show your humanity and communicate that you aren't avoiding them because they feel tainted or because you think they did something wrong. It also shows that you honestly do care about their feelings and don't want them to be hurt further. Say something like, "I don't really know what to say to make this better. I'm not very good at this kind of thing. But I hope you know that I am very sorry for your loss." The best place to start when consoling your friend is to simply ask her if there's anything that you can do. She might not want consoling, but there might be someone other way in which she could use your help. She'll know best what she needs from you right now. It is important that if you tell her you would like to do something for her, that you do what she asks. Going back on your word at this point can leave an incredibly powerful negative impact on your relationship. You may find that your friend does not seem that upset by her loss. You may also find that your friend grieves very openly and loudly. Your friend might start acting very differently, such as always wanting to go out. On the other hand, she might want to just hide herself away and cut off most contact. These are all normal reactions to grief. Even if you went through a miscarriage yourself, you can't expect your friend to grieve in the same way. For example, you have another friend that's gone through the same experience and commemorates every anniversary of their terrible loss. This doesn't mean that your friend who has just lost their child will want to do the same and you shouldn't push them with phrases like "this is the best way" or "you'll feel better". You might feel like your friend is grieving for too long over what may have been a short pregnancy. No matter how short the pregnancy was, the sense of grief can still be overwhelming, especially if the woman was particularly hopeful or excited for this baby. Everyone grieves in different ways and even if you feel that you would have been over it by now, it's important not to judge your friend for taking a long time getting back to normality. Even having another child will not always remove the sense of loss of this child. They may always feel a slight sense of grief. This is normal and should not be looked down upon. Most of the things that people usually say in this situation are exactly the wrong things to say to someone who is grieving. This is most common when the person saying these things has not experienced real grief before. Your best bet is to avoid any comment which minimizes the sense of loss that your friend and her partner are feeling right now. Don't say things that downplay the situation or make it sound like a bump in the road. Even if it's true, those kind of comments don't help. Avoid these common phrases:  "Don't worry. You can try for another baby again later." "Maybe you should have...", "Maybe you shouldn't have...", "Did the doctor say what happened?" and other statements which shift blame onto the mother. "It's for the best", "This happened for a reason", or "This is all in God's plan." "At least you miscarried early in your pregnancy" or other, similar "be grateful for" statements.
A: Do acknowledge their loss. Do admit when you don't know how to respond. Do ask her what she needs. Don't expect everyone to react the same. Don't put a time limit on grief. Don't minimize her loss.

Q: If you and your dog have already established a trusting relationship, then you are well on your way to rubbing your dog’s tummy with ease. However, if your dog doesn’t fully trust you yet, there are a few things that you can do to gain his trust.  Be calm when you approach him. If your dog hasn’t quite warmed up to you, staying calm as you approach him will help him see that you are not threatening and that he can trust you. Approach him from the side, rather walking towards him from the front; approaching him from the front could be intimidating for him. When you reach his side, kneel down or sit in the same direction that he is facing. Do not make eye contact, since direct eye contact can be perceived as a threat.  When he is more comfortable with you being close to him, you can sit by his side and gently pet him. Talking to him in quiet and soothing tones will reduce anxiety that he may have with you touching him. If your dog does not roll over on his own, he probably does not want to have his tummy rubbed. It is very important that you  never force your dog  to lie on his side; this can make him anxious and upset with you. Be respectful of his wish not to have his tummy rubbed. Before rubbing your dog’s his tummy, start by petting his chest. If he growls or snarls when you start petting him, stop petting him right away. He’s giving you a very strong indication that he does not want to be petted.  The growls and snarls can also be signs of aggression. A number of things, such as pain or behavioral disorders, could cause the aggression. Your veterinarian can conduct various medical and behavior tests to determine the cause of the aggression.  If your dog is not showing signs of displeasure when you start petting him, continue to pet his chest. You can even weave your fingers through his fur to get him to be more comfortable. When your dog has become comfortable with you petting his chest, move your hand down his body to start rubbing his tummy. By now, he should be very relaxed. Use slow and sweeping movements. Talking to him in quiet and soothing tones will help to keep him relaxed.  Your dog may start kicking his back leg when you rub his tummy. Contrary to what many people think, this is not a sign that you hit your dog’s ticklish spot. His leg-kicking is actually an involuntary response called the scratch reflex.  The scratch reflex occurs when nerves that are connected to your dog’s spinal cord are activated under the skin. Your dog will kick his leg automatically because his body perceives the nerve activation as an irritant on the skin. If you see your dog’s leg start to kick automatically, stop rubbing him in that area of his tummy and move to another area.  If your dog seems to be enjoying the tummy rub, but then gets up and walks away, he is letting you know that he no longer wants his tummy to be rubbed. This is completely normal behavior, so there is no need to be concerned.  If you feel his body tensing up when you rub his tummy, but then relaxes after you stop, he is giving you another indication that now is not the right time for a tummy rub.
A:
Gain your dog’s trust. Observe if your dog rolls over. Pet your dog’s chest. Rub your dog's tummy.