Problem: Article: Ask yourself if you want to know whether it’s the right time to have sex because you’re really ready to be sexually active with your partner or because you feel pressured to do so because you’ve been together for a while, because your partner keeps asking about it, or even because everyone you know is asking if you’ve done it yet. You should have sex because you want to, not because anyone else wants you to.  Of course, if your partner really wants to have sex with you, then this has probably come up. But if you feel inappropriate pressure to do something you’re not ready for, then you should ask yourself if your partner really cares for and respects you. Just because all of your friends might have had sex already or might have slept with their partners much sooner than you’re considering does not mean this is the right path for you. You have to follow your own ideas of what is appropriate. Now, if you’ve never had sex before, then you may be especially nervous about knowing when it’s the right time to take the plunge. Yes, having sex for the first time is likely something you’ll remember forever and you probably won’t ever fully forget the first person you had sex with. That said, you shouldn’t put so much pressure on yourself to find the perfect moment and expect it to be magical; instead, you should do it when you feel the time is right, not after you’ve been led to a bed with rose petals on it.  If it’s your first time, then you should let your partner know, even if you’re embarrassed about it. Your partner will see that this is a big deal to you and will understand that you need to be on the same page. If you want losing your virginity to mean that you really care for the person you have sex with, then you have to make sure the person cares for you. That said, if you feel like your virginity is an albatross around your neck and are ready to get frisky without it meaning you’ve found your soulmate, then that’s fine, too. You don’t have to want the first time to be absolutely meaningful. If you have that attitude, you may wait forever to have sex for the first time. This one may seem obvious for men—if your penis is erect, then you can start to have intercourse. But for girls who are inexperienced with sex, they need to make sure that their bodies are ready to move forward before they have sex. If you’re a girl, you may be so nervous or scared that you aren’t paying enough attention to your body; make sure you feel relaxed and wet enough to have sex without it being too painful or forcing it.  If you’re a girl who isn’t ready for penetration, let your partner know, and he can help you get to that point. If you’re a girl who is having sex for the first time, it may hurt, even if you’re ready, so be prepared for that, and be prepared to ask your partner to stop if it’s hurting too much. If your instincts are telling you that it’s time to have sex and all of the other things are in place, then chances are that you’re ready. However, if you feel like it’s about time you should be having sex but get a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach or just feel that something is off when you think about getting intimate with your partner, or get close to being intimate, then you have to trust that feeling. Your instincts are more important than any timeline, anything your partner says, or any ideas you may have about what you “should” do, and if you have the feeling that something is wrong, then it probably is. You may not realize that you don’t feel good about it until you get close to being intimate with your partner. When you start moving forward sexually, you may start to just feel like backing away, and you have the right to go with those feelings. It goes without saying that you should be sober when you and your partner have sex for the first time. Whether it’s your first time having sex, or just your first time having sex with your partner, it’s important to be sober so you can have a clear head and, more importantly, give legal consent to have sex. Though each state has different rules about what it means to be able to give consent, it’s important to be sober so you can make the decision with a clear head and enjoy this intimate moment with your partner. Though you may feel that getting drunk can help you ease your nervousness about having sex for the first time, this will actually impair your judgment and make the experience much less pleasant and memorable. You may be feeling that physical urge to have sex with your partner and may feel like you can’t fight it anymore. However, if your body is screaming “yes!” but your mind is whispering, “maybe…” then you should hold off until you feel like you have really thought it through. Though getting caught up in the moment can lead to a passionate experience, you don’t want to feel upset or disappointed when it’s over because you listened to your body and ignored your mind. To truly listen to your mind, make sure you think about having sex with your partner when he’s not around. That way, your judgment won’t be as affected by your physical longings, and you can think about the situation more objectively.
Summary: Make sure you don’t feel pressured to have sex. Make sure you’re ready if it’s your first time. Make sure your body is ready. Make sure you’re following your gut. Make sure you’re both sober. Make sure your brain and body are telling you the same thing.

Problem: Article: with a smile and a “thank you.” When someone praises your work, accept the recognition rather than brushing it away. You don't need to elaborate on how much work you did, but there is nothing wrong with graciously letting others recognize your work. Try saying something like this the next time someone compliments your work:  “I appreciate your noticing my work; thanks for telling me.” “I'm really pleased everything went well with the project.” “Thank you. It was hard work, but I'm glad I was able to do it.” When people pay attention to your work, you may be tempted to say that it was nothing, it wasn't hard work, or someone else could have done it better. If you feel tempted to say things like this, simply say “thank you,” and smile. It takes practice to accept compliments and to not feel uncomfortable from the attention. Remember, you did good work and there is nothing wrong with admitting you worked hard! While it's important to graciously accept praise, it's just as important to recognize and name the people who were instrumental in your success. Maybe you worked on a team or got a lot of helpful information from a senior coworker. Try saying something like:  “Thank you. It was definitely a team effort and my coworkers and I worked hard on the project.” “Thanks so much. Robert from the underwriting department really helped me understand the processes so much better.” “Mary definitely helped encourage me to keep going when I got stuck." After you've accepted a compliment, move the conversation along so that it doesn't seem like you just want to talk more about yourself. For example, you could say something like, “Thank you so much, Mark. It was a hard project but it feels good to have done it. By the way, I heard you were working on a new proposal. How is that going?” Depending on the kind of work you do, you may not ever have someone give you a lot of praise for it. You can definitely still feel proud of your work, and you can even mention that you're proud when telling other people about what you do. For example, if someone asks you how work is going, you could say something like, “It's going well. I actually just completed a month-long research project and feel really good about what I did.”
Summary:
Accept compliments Avoid downplaying your work or being self-deprecating. Give recognition to people who helped you. Ask a question to keep the conversation moving. Remember that you can take pride in your work even if no one sees it.