Old habits are hard to break, and emotional triggers can fall into that category. To avoid and change a trigger, you'll need to replace some old habits and activities with new ones.  You'll also need to avoid those circumstances that have proven to be triggers.  For instance, if you know someone who gets belligerent when drunk and pushes a multitude of your triggers, stay away from that person when they're consuming alcohol. If not having enough money to pay your bills creates a trigger, then look at what you can cut from your budget. Avoid alcohol and other drug use. When you're under the influence of either substance and encounter a trigger, you won't have as much control over your emotions and your outbursts. Sometimes a time-out can help you calm down before re-engaging with a situation. You can use this time to think about the emotions you're experiencing and how to address them effectively.   Try saying "I need some air" or "I'll get back to you on that." If someone tries to follow you, say "I really need to be alone right now." For example, if you are angry with your coworker and you don't want to harm your working relationship, you could say "we'll discuss this later" and walk away. You can write a note saying that you don't want to be disturbed, put it on your office door, and go inside. Then you can take the time to figure out whether and how to respond to her. Staying away from things that trigger you works in the short run, but it might not work in the long run. Avoiding triggers all the time can be stressful, and it may limit your life. Start small, and work your way up. Continue until you have successfully managed your emotions to the point that the experience is no longer a trigger.   Take baby steps towards your goal. For example, perhaps you are afraid of crowds. Your first step might to briefly spend time in a crowded cafe or mall, and then leave and do something that calms you. Don't try to jump in headfirst. For example, if you are afraid of cats, don't lock yourself in a room with a cat right away. Perhaps step 1 is watching someone else pet a cat, or watching cat videos and learning more about cat body language so that they seem less unpredictable to you. Habit and lifestyle changes don't typically have immediate results. It may take weeks or months before you start noticing a change. This is normal, and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong.   Set small goals. For example, if you tend to freeze up around a verbally abusive mother, step one might be learning how to say "I'll get back to you" and leaving the room. Don't punish yourself for not being able to ignore her yet. You have to master step 1 before you can handle step 5 or step 10. Reward yourself for making progress. Even if it's small progress, tell yourself that you did a great job, and be proud of yourself. Give yourself a physical reward (like a movie night or extra time to work on a hobby) if you'd like. Making progress is a big deal, so be proud of yourself!

Summary: Change your lifestyle. Take a time-out. Expand your window of tolerance gradually. Be patient with yourself.


Ask your guy questions about things he loves to do or his interests to show that you are interested in him. If he talks about things that he loves and are meaningful to him, he’ll subconsciously connect you with those feelings and like you even more. If you can weave these loves and interests into conversations with him, it shows not only that you care, but also that you are picking up on what’s important to him. Whenever the two of you talk, make sure to listen closely to what he is saying. You can then reference comments he’s made in later conversations, showing your interest in him.  Meaningful conversations are an important part to keeping his interest in you.  Compliment him on his interests instead of his looks. It further shows that you see what’s important to him. For example, if he volunteers for Habitat for Humanity, you can say something like “I really admire that you’re so kind and engaged with helping the underprivileged.” Any time you talk about something you love or are interested in, it will light up your face and eyes. This makes you more attractive to him and he will likely want to get to know you more deeply.  Let him know about your hobbies or interests. Just as it’s important for you to know what his loves and interests are, it’s important for him to know yours. This also lets your guy know that you are an interesting and dynamic person. Men don’t want women who are clingy and can’t hold their own. By showing that you are independent and have an opinion, you will help keep your conversations- and his interest- going.  Don’t dumb yourself down for a guy. Use your brain and show him you’re capable of forming opinions. It’s very attractive to a man that you know your feelings and can positively express them.  It’s also important to be independent and not make yourself too available to him. This way you show him you’re in demand with others. It also establishes some intrigue and draws him in to you even more.  Don’t let him make all the decisions or else he’ll get bored with you. Part of being independent and having an opinion is also showing that your confident in yourself. Guys want to be around a woman who is capable of holding her own in any situation. Show your personality. Most men can tell when a woman is fake and don’t generally like hanging around them for too long. Even as you get to know your guy more, take the time to look nice. He’ll appreciate that you’ve made the effort and this will also help keep him interested in you. As you continue to keep up your appearance, also make sure you’re not overdoing it with your look. Let your guy see you in action at something you love so that you don’t have to brag to him about it. This can be something as simple as cooking him your specialty dinner or showing him how far you can throw a football. Seeing you do something you love will make him like you more. You don’t have to make a huge gesture to highlight your special skills. As with everything else, keep it simple so that it’s fun for both of you. Even though it’s important to express your opinion to your guy, it’s also necessary to be open to him and his interests. This means that you should be flexible in what you do together and try activities that you may otherwise not be interested in at least once. This shows your guy that you care about his feelings and are genuinely interested in him. Everyone loves a person who is positive and fun to be around, and this is especially true of guys who are interested in you. He doesn’t want a reminder of how bad the world or life is. Keep things light and happy as much as possible. Everyone has the occasional bad day and it’s ok to talk about this with him, but don’t dwell on it or he might lose interest.
Summary: Talk to him about something he loves or his interests. Listen to him. Talk about things you love, too. Be independent and have an opinion. Be confident and yourself. Continue look nice, but don’t overdo it. Show off your talents. Be open to him and his interests. Be positive and fun.