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You may be eager to find out everything that's happened to them since you last saw them, but don't ask too many questions. Similarly, don't bombard them with information about yourself or brag about your current life. Instead, keep the conversation balanced, with each of you sharing information about yourselves.  Don't feel pressured to share sensitive information. Balance questions with details about yourself. If you didn't part with your old friend on the best of terms, you'll probably want to address this fairly soon — ideally, the very first time you reconnect. Pretending that your painful memories don't exist is a bad choice. Doing this can give the impression that you don't care about your friend's hurt feelings, or, worse, that you're deliberately ignoring them, so swallow your pride and openly acknowledge any tension early on. If, after your time apart, you've decided that you were partially or completely to blame for your painful split, offer your sincere apology. If you don't believe you were at fault, simply acknowledge your desire to move on with a few words like this: "Hey, I know the last time we saw each other we weren't on the best of terms. I was hoping we could put all that behind us and start fresh." Be wary of immediately returning to your previous level of intimacy with your old friend. Keep in mind that your friend may not have the same plans in mind for your reunion as you do — he, for instance, may only be interested in a brief, one-time meal together while you're seriously trying to restart your friendship. It's best not to get too invested in your reunion before it happens. Instead, approach it with an optimistic but calm attitude. This way, no matter how your reunion goes, you won't end up feeling hurt and disappointed. To avoid an embarrassing faux pas, be careful not to bring up controversial topics until you have an idea of where your friend stands on them. Keep in mind that even if these topics were at one point the topic of frequent conversation between you two, they may not be today. People — even people close to you — can have their opinions shaped and molded by their experiences until they barely resemble what they once were. Below are just a few topics you'll want to avoid until you get a chance to "feel out" your friend:  Religion Politics Hot-button news topics Money Negative gossip about mutual friends The opposite sex Finding it difficult to come up with things to say to your old friend? Just try asking him about what he's been up to since you've last seen him. When he answers, ask questions about his answers. As a general rule, most people like to talk about themselves — psychological studies have shown that people spend the majority of the time they spend communicating talking about themselves, rather than others. Below are just a few sample questions you may want to try asking:  Where have you been working or attending school recently? How are things with the guys/ladies? How is the family? Can you help me with this problem I've been thinking about? Read any good books lately? A responsible amount of alcohol can usually take the edge out of awkward social situations. Thus, if you and your old friend are of age, consider having an alcoholic beverage or two to calm the jitters that can come with making a connection with an old buddy. With luck, after a drink or two, you'll feel loose, friendly, and ready to have a great time! Whenever alcohol is involved, it's important to drink responsibly. See our responsible drinking guide for more information and remember to never, ever drink and drive.
Keep the conversation balanced. Address any old conflicts directly but politely. Keep your expectations in check. Don't make assumptions about your friends' opinions. When in doubt, ask questions. If you're old enough, ease tensions with a drink.