Summarize the following:
Many people find it easier to lie by text or email, or over the phone, since they can avoid many of the problems with body language and other indicators of lying. If you suspect that someone is lying, try to meet them face-to-face. You’ll increase your chances of catching them if you can observe and interact with them directly. If they repeatedly refuse to meet in person, you’ll have even more reason to be suspicious. Unless you have overwhelming evidence right from the start, don’t make someone prove they’re telling you the truth. Especially if it’s someone you care about, give them the benefit of the doubt — but also don’t feel bad about looking for proof to the contrary. Instead of automatically assuming the worst, try to trust them until the evidence of a lie can’t be ignored.  Keep in mind that if someone is breaking bad or uncomfortable news, they may look like they are lying. Likewise, if they are under stress, their behaviors may be a little odd. For example, if someone tells you that they were in a car accident earlier that day while laughing, do not assume that they are lying.  The laughter may be an uncontrollable response to trauma. When someone is lying, their emotions may not match their words or actions. A child might say they’re sad about breaking the vase while holding back laughter, for example, and even adults can have trouble hiding their true emotions. Engage them in conversation to see if their emotions fit the circumstances. For instance, if they keep saying their new job is great but you suspect otherwise, keep asking about elements of the job and see if their happy words are betrayed by feelings of fear, sadness, or boredom. While talking about the thing they’re possibly lying about, give the person a way out by unexpectedly switching topics. If they are lying, they’ll probably be glad to change subjects. If they are not lying, they may act confused by the sudden change in conversation. A person telling the truth may also try to circle back and finish clarifying. For instance, jump straight from talking about how the person is doing in biology class to how lousy your favorite sports team is doing this season. See if they seem surprisingly eager to stop talking about how good their grades are. Instead of following their line of thinking, think of a question they may not have rehearsed. This can throw them off and make the lie obvious. If the answer is consistent with what they have been telling you, it may be the truth. For example, if someone is telling you they lost your purse and you think they are lying, you could ask them to give you a few names of some people who may have seen it recently, instead of asking where they saw it last. Making them accountable suddenly requires them to change their lie or come clean. If the person answers your question with another question, they are probably trying to change the conversation. Put them on the spot and hold them accountable to your question. This can further agitate them and make it harder to keep up with the lie. For example, if they’re not interested in answering your question about who may have seen your missing purse most recently, press them on it: “Can you please try to remember?  I want to know who I should call.” Even if you do give the person the benefit of the doubt and look rationally for evidence, you might not be able to shake a “gut feeling” that they’re lying. Such instincts alone wouldn’t hold up in court as evidence, but you may be picking up on subtle cues that you aren’t consciously aware of. These cues can manifest as a feeling of unease that tells you something is wrong. You’ll have to decide for yourself whether it’s worth pursuing your “gut instinct” when the evidence of a lie is shaky.  Falsely accusing someone of lying, or getting caught trying to prove a lie that isn’t there, can be very damaging to a relationship.
Talk to the person face-to-face. Try to trust the person. Connect with them emotionally. Change the subject. Ask a question that is unexpected. Insist on an answer to your question. Trust your instincts — to a degree.