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The two of you should decide together who will be best to take on guardianship of your children and handle finances. You should choose someone to be the physical guardian of your children as well as someone to handle your children’s finances until they turn 18. This can be the same person, but does not have to be.  You and the other parent should be on the same page about who should be selected as guardian. However, if you are divorced or not on good terms with your child’s other parent, you may not get them to agree with you about who should be the guardian. Generally, if possible, parents select a relative or close friend to be the guardian of their children. If parents die unexpectedly, it is likely that children will be most comfortable living with someone with whom they already have a close relationship, such as a grandparent, aunt, or uncle. Keep in mind that whoever you appoint as guardian must be someone who can properly care for your children. Consider the age, health and location of the potential guardian. For example, if the guardian lives out of state, keep in mind that the child will have to relocate and make new friends after the child has experienced the loss of a parent.  Additionally, consider the guardian’s religion and lifestyle preferences. You want to make sure that you choose someone who will raise your children how you want them to be raised.  Generally, you should choose a guardian that you see as “responsible,” whatever that means to you personally. If the other parent does not help you with raising your children, you can act without them. However, be aware that if the other parent is alive, it is possible that they may want to be named as guardian of your children should anything happen to you. In most circumstances, it is best for children to be raised by a parent, but if you have reasons that you do not want the other parent to have custody of your children if something happens to you, you need to name a different guardian. If you name a guardian without the input of your child’s other parent, it is possible that the other parent could challenge the guardianship should something happen to you. If this happens, the court will rely, at least in part, on your documentation regarding why you do not want the other parent to be the guardian. Therefore, you should make sure that you provide detailed information about why you do not want the other parent to be named guardian. Reasons that the other parent should not be guardian include: lack of a stable home for your children, mental or physical problems that could impede your children’s care, alcohol or other substance abuse, and physical abuse. The person who will have physical custody of your children is called the “guardian of the person.” After weighing all of the options, you will have to choose who you think would do the best job of raising your child or children.  Even if you appoint a guardian in your will, the court will not appoint the guardian unless doing so is in “the best interests of the child,” so choose someone who is up to the task.  Although the court might appoint someone different than the person named in your will, the court will give your choice great consideration, and will not go against that choice unless the guardian will be unable to properly take care of the child, such that awarding guardianship would not be in the child’s best interest. If the person to whom you want to leave guardianship is your same-sex partner, include a letter to the court explaining how he or she is a better choice than a blood relation. Make sure that you speak with person that you want to name as the guardian of your child before you put them in your will. The court will not force someone to serve as a guardian, so make sure that the guardian is willing to serve before you formally name them.  If possible, speak with the potential guardian in person, and explain to them why you want them to raise your child in the event that something happens to you. Explain that they will have to provide certain information to the court, including a criminal history, before the court will appoint them formally as guardian. The court may also require the guardian to go through an investigation. Usually, an investigation doesn’t mean that the guardianship is more likely to be denied or that the judge has seen red flags. In some jurisdictions, it is just the court’s policy to investigate everyone. Because the judge is entrusting the guardian with raising the child, he or she usually wants to check and make absolutely sure that the guardian is able to take the responsibility.
Speak with your child’s other parent. Consider the age, health, and location of potential guardians. Act alone only if necessary. Document everything if deciding alone. Select the guardian. Talk to the guardian before naming them in your will.