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Some forms of violence are subtle, and you may not even realize that you are a victim of abuse if you have been dealing with it for a long time. If you suspect you might be a victim of family violence, but are unsure, see if any of  the following scenarios sound like your current situation at home:  Being called names that are meant to put you down and make you feel poorly about yourself. Being discouraged from participating in daily activities such as social events, school, or even work. Being blocked from seeing friends and family. Having a partner that acts highly jealous, verbally and even physically expressing their controlling feelings. Having a partner who tries to maintain high levels of control over your life. Having a partner who gets very angry or physical when drinking or using drugs. Being physically harmed. Being forced to have sexual interaction against your will. Being blamed for violent behavior, and told that you deserve it. Being threatened in any way, especially with a weapon. The first step to addressing family violence is accepting the fact that it exists, so that you can face it appropriately.  Violent abuse comes in many forms, so it's important to recognize the signs of abuse to stop them early on. Because abuse gets progressively worse over time, it can be essential to stop it as soon as possible. Although abuse may begin with something somewhat innocuous like name-calling, it can easily progress to a singular physical event, and then develop into full-blown violent abuse occurring on a regular basis. Breaking the cycle is the first step you can take towards dismantling an endless pattern of violence and trauma.  If you are currently suffering from family violence, you may recognize this cycle:  You abuser threatens you, saying that they'll be violent with you. They physically become violent. They apologize. The cycle repeats itself.   The cycle will get worse and worse, until your life or children's lives may be at risk. The longer you stay, the worse your emotional and psychological state will become. You may end up feeling helpless and depressed, so it's important that you stay strong, breaking the cycle before it escalates. The first step to breaking the cycle is telling someone about the violence that's occurring, to rally other people around you and gain reinforcement.  Seek help from someone you trust: a friend, family member, or healthcare professional. Although it can be challenging to speak about the violence and abuse, you will instantly feel a sense of relief. You now have someone on your side, looking out for your best interests. Building a support system is the best thing that you can do for you and your children. Once you decide to break the cycle, you will need a plan of action.  Make a call to a loved one when your abuser isn't around, so that you're safe. You can either make a call from a pay phone or a friends house. If you do not know where to go, call a shelter. They will provide you with the information and support you need. You will need to pack a bag that has some extra clothes, a bit of money, your medications, and anything else that you and your children may need. Keep this bag in a secure place or pack before you leave. You will need to know exactly where you're going before you do, because the last thing you want to do is leave without a plan. If you don't plan properly and make a definite exit, you may end up back where the violence occurs and find that it gets worse, since you took action without your abuser's knowledge. In order to make sure that you can leave safely and won't be tracked down by your abuser, protect your location and ensure that you travel undercover.  Use your home phone and mobile cautiously. Your abuser may look into your phone records to see who you have contacted. This may give clues about where you and your children are located. You want to avoid that violent environment and avoid being kidnapped or forced to come home. Be careful online. Be careful which sites you look up at your home before leaving. If your abuser sees that you're contacting shelters, violent behavior can turn deadly. Clear your viewing history if you need to look up information from home. Make sure there are no GPS devices in your car or attached to your phone. You do not want the abuser to track down your location. Don't tell too many people about your location. If your abuser reaches out to mutual friends, they may find out where you have gone. It can be frightening to press charges, because you might fear for your life, but it can be a surefire way to avoid future violence and make sure that your abuser faces justice.  If you call the police, they will help you move forward. If you want to press charges, you need to stay strong. Without your co-operation, there may be a lack of evidence. Some abusers will plead guilty, but others will continue onto court. In this case, you will more than likely be called as a witness. With the proper support, you can and will be able to go through with this process. Legal measures are generally a good idea when children are involved, because you should gain custody of your children to ensure that they do not live in a high-risk environment.
Identify signs of violence. Acknowledge the violence to begin addressing it. Break the cycle of violence to escape from harm. Tell someone that violence is occurring, to gather support. Create a plan of action to structure your response to the abuse. Protect your location. Take legal action.