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Now that your child is old enough, they should have a big say in their party. Do they want it at home or out? What do they want to do? Do they want it during the day or at night?  If they have a bunch of ideas, narrow it down for them to 3 or so that you've preapproved – they can then pick which one they want from there. Talk about a budget and scheduling constraints. You'll have to be the voice of reason in this conversation. Be honest and let them know what's doable and what's not. Ask your teen to come up with "the short list" – 8 or so people they want at their party. Ultimately the party should be determined by where it is (if it's somewhere else, that's less work for you) and how long it's going to last. 8 people out for pizza is manageable, but you'll only want to take 3 or 4 to the amusement park.  You're finally at an age where it matters who gets invited – some people may not get along or not want to do certain things. Talk to your teen about what the people they're inviting are like, if they know each other, and any problems they foresee. Consider doing it elsewhere, like at a restaurant, trampoline park, bowling alley or arcade. Your teen likely wants freedom, and it's easier on you, too. Teens are at an age where feelings can get hurt. If your teen is inviting some kids at school and not others, find a way to make it so the invites are sent out discreetly. If they're not, it might start unnecessary drama that could dampen the event. If possible, send them via email. Ask for RSVPs so you know who is coming and can have a head count. Have your teen send reminder texts or phone calls, too, before the big day. Theme parties are fun for 4-year-olds, 40-year-olds, and everyone in between (though the themes change over time). Talk to your teen about having a theme – the kids can then dress up, you'll have fun planning out themed food, and it'll make it easier to decorate and find matching additions. This should be your teen's decision. As long as it's appropriate and doable, it should be a go. If you don't like it, give your teen a good reason why and offer alternatives. This is especially important if you're having the party at home: plan and arrange all the food and decorate till the cows come home. With a theme it'll be easier to pick out; if you don't have one, it's up to you. Here's a few things to keep in mind:  Keep the snacks coming; worry less about the main food. You can always whip up spaghetti or order pizza, depending on what the party-goers feel like. But don't forget the cake! To keep the mess better for you, buy plastic plates, forks, knives, and cups to keep the after-party clean-up to a minimum. Don't be nervous to ask other parents to bring along a few dishes if the party is at your house. A few bags of chips or some liters of soda is an easy way they can chip in. You need to be there to problem-solve and diffuse any tension, but when things are going well, allow them their space and their fun. They're at an age where they can take care of themselves. Be as far away as you feel is appropriate. Odds are your teen will need you to order the pizza or take care of any mess they create. While it may not be in the way you want, you'll likely be needed to stay relatively near.
Talk your teen about what they’d like, where, and when. Plan out the guest list. Make sure the invites get sent out appropriately. Consider having a theme. Provide all the fixin’s for your party. Keep a watchful eye, but allow them their fun.