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Sit down with your parents at a time when you're both calm and set ground rules for interacting during conflicts. These rules will help you handle conflicts fairly and set expectations for how certain situations will be addressed. For example, you might set a rule that distinguishes between "tattling" and "telling" -- "tattling" is done just to get someone in trouble ("Jane tracked mud in the house!"), while "telling" is done to keep someone out of bigger trouble ("Ann is standing on the counter and I'm worried she'll fall off!"). Your sister shouldn't feel like she's a detached part the family because she's younger. When planning a party or vacation make sure to include her. Even though it may not always seem like it, your little sister looks to you as an example of how she should act. If you blow up over small things, pinch her, or raise your voice, she will copy that behavior.  When you interact with your little sister, ask yourself, “How would I feel or react if she treated me this way?” If you mess up and raise your voice in a moment of anger, apologize to her later, when you’ve calmed down. She will learn from your example, and may start to return the favor when she messes up. When you are angry it can be tempting to lash out physically at your little sister, but it is never okay to hurt her on purpose, even if she hurts you first. Remember, you are bigger and stronger than her, and it is unfair to take advantage of that. Hitting her won’t change much, either; she is more likely to resent you than to regret her actions, and if she’s mad at you she’s more likely to be annoying. Explain what you want, what will happen if she doesn’t do it, and what will happen if she does. If you don’t want your sister to come into your room, for example, say something like, “This is my space, and you need to respect that. If you come in here without asking, I’m going to tell Mom, and I won’t play with you that night. If you respect my privacy for a whole week, though, you can come sit on my bed this weekend, and we’ll play any board game you want.” If you tell your sister a certain behavior will earn her a certain reward, make sure she gets that reward if she behaves. On the other hand, if you tell her a certain behavior will have a negative consequence, make sure that consequence happens if she doesn’t behave. If she expects you to lie to her or trick her, she probably won’t listen to what you say. This also means that you should avoid saying things like, “If you don’t leave me alone, I’m never talking to you again!” You sister knows that you will have to talk to her again at some point, so your threat will be meaningless, and she will have no reason to listen to you. This is especially important when your sister is behaving well without being told to. If your sister goes a whole evening without pestering you, tell her, “I really appreciated how well you kept yourself entertained while I was doing my homework tonight. That was awesome.” Give her a high-five, or better yet, spend a little time hanging out with her. It will mean the world to her that you noticed that she was being good, and she will want to impress you again in the future. Saying, “If you need to be upset for a while, that’s okay, but I can’t talk to you while you’re like this,” and then calmly disengaging yourself, can be far more powerful than yelling and screaming at your little sister to leave you alone. It may lead to a tantrum at first—your sister is desperate for your attention, and being annoying is one of the easiest ways to get it.  Don’t leave your sister alone and unsupervised if she is very small, but don’t try to calm her down or reason with her while she is kicking and screaming. Negative attention is still attention, and if you respond to her tantrums by engaging with her she will learn that throwing tantrums is a good way to get you to interact with her. Once she's calmed down, be ready to re-engage. As an older sibling, you are a valuable role model and even a teacher. Establishing strong expectations and following through on what you've said are important ways to exercise these responsibilities. Avoid, however, the temptation to "parent" your sibling. Ultimately your parent or guardian is responsible for guiding your sibling's behavior. If you're a firstborn sibling, in particular, you may feel that everyone depends upon you. Younger siblings, on the other hand, can feel like they're being given less attention or are treated like babies. Let your parent or guardian be the head of the household.
Establish family rules. Include your sister in important things. Be a good role model. Be kind. Be clear about your expectations. Follow through. Reward good behavior. Walk away from bad behavior. Remember that in the end, you aren't your sister's parent.