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Someone enduring emotional hardship may struggle to be decisive, or may simply not know how to behave or what to do.  This is an indication of vulnerability, and is an entirely natural reaction to distress.  They may not even want to talk about whatever happened, and you shouldn’t push them to do so unless someone else’s safety or well-being depends on it. If someone insists they need space, give it to them.  Tell them you’ll check back with them in a few days.  Let them know they can contact you whenever they wish to do so and that you’re there for them whenever they want to spend time together. Don’t be incessant, but make sure you behave in a way that lets them know you’re still thinking about them, and that their wellbeing matters to you.  Call or send a card if a week goes by without hearing from them.  Avoid texting, emailing, or using social media to convey condolences, as these communication tools are informal and impersonal. Don’t avoid or ignore someone because you’re uncomfortable with what they’re going through or don’t know how to talk to them.  If you’re uncertain about what to do or say, convey your condolences and ask if there is anything you can do. If they seem to want you around but aren’t saying much, don’t let their silence bother you.  Don’t allow your own nervousness to lead you to talk nonstop.  Remind yourself that they may simply want your company.  Feel free to ask questions about how they’re feeling, or what they’re thinking about.  If they are persistently thinking about whatever happened, they likely need to talk about to it release any pent-up emotions. Avoid asking someone how they feel if you run into them at a social function.  While you should encourage them to talk about how they’re feeling, do so in an environment where you have privacy and can give them your full attention. Following a traumatic incident, some people will be physically exhausted or depressed.  They may sleep more than usual, and may let struggle to complete everyday chores. Help out by doing a load of laundry or cleaning the dishes.  Take care not to do everything though, as this may impede their recovery or make them feel pitied. People need to feel capable of taking care of themselves, even when they need a bit of help doing so. When the person seems ready, ask them what they plan to do.  Don’t be surprised if they do not know or are not excited to talk about it. Provide some potential routes that they might take while offering to help them do so. Even when making recommendations, try to do more listening than talking, and only offer actionable advice.  Any suggestions you make should be based on things they’ve said themselves. Asking them who and what they think might help is a good place to start. Stay alert for any signs of worsening emotional distress. If you ever have the inclination that they need professional help, encourage them to get it. Be prepared to do so by having the contact information to relevant people and organizations available.
Don’t rush to establish the next move. Maintain contact. Accept their silence. Help with basic needs. Help them make plans to move forward.