Ask yourself honestly how you feel about the prospect of going out. Do you feel excited and invigorated about getting out of the house? Do you feel anxious and a little exhausted with the idea? Tune in to your feelings and try to listen to them. If going out does not sound appealing, stay in. In some cases, alone time can increase productivity and boost mood. However, if you're spending time alone when you want to connect with others, being alone can have negative effects. You may end up feeling lonely, stressed, and unhappy. Think about whether you genuinely want to spend time alone.  Think about your interactions with people lately. Have you been craving human connection? Have interactions been sparse or negative? If you're craving interactions with others, spending time alone could make you unhappy. It may be best to go out and see others. However, if you've been spending a lot of time with people lately, you may benefit from a night alone. If you're not strongly craving companionship, going out may just stress you out more. In this case, you may want to stay in and do something on your own, like reading a book or watching a movie. If you've had a long week, you may be feeling tired. If you're already exhausted, you may not last long at an outing. If you're just going to end up turning in early, going out may not be worth it. However, if you're relatively energetic, you may enjoy spending an evening outside of your home. For example, if you've been working overtime you may not have the energy to get dressed and go out. If it's a been a normal week, however, it may not take too much motivation to throw on some clothes and head out the door. Going out can be a wonderful opportunity to make new friends. Meeting people is one of the major draws of leaving your apartment. Think about whether you're in the mood to mingle.  Have you been stuck in a rut lately in regards to your social circle? If you've been craving new friends and new experiences, try going out and chatting with new people. However, you may not be looking to make new friends right now. You may also simply not be in a very social mood. If you're not feeling social, you're unlikely to interact with new people even if you want to. In this case, it may be best to stay in for the night. Going out requires getting dressed. Depending on the type of event, you may have to spend a lot of time getting ready. A formal event, for example, may require you to dress up. Think about what it will take to get ready and whether you feel like putting in that effort.  You may be inclined to stay in if an event is very formal and you're not in the mood to dress up. If you don't feel like doing your hair and makeup and putting on your best clothes, stay in. However, if you're feeling in a dressy mood, you may relish the excuse to dress up. If an event is more casual, it may be easier to motivate yourself to throw on jeans and a t-shirt. However, if you prefer to stay in your pajamas for the night, it's okay to stay in even for a casual event.
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One-sentence summary -- Think about how you feel about going. Evaluate your feelings about spending time alone. Note your energy level. Contemplate whether you're in the mood to meet new people. Think about whether you want to get dressed.


Once you have spent some time thinking about your personal values, it's time to figure out how to integrate them with the rest of your family. In order to do that, you all need to effectively communicate with each other. Begin the process by asking questions.  Ask your family to join you for a discussion about values. Begin by asking open ended questions such as, "What is most important to our family?" You can also try, "What brings you happiness? How does that affect our family?" Other good questions to ask include, "What makes you most proud about our family?" or "What do you look forward to when you come home?" You could also try "What embarrasses you about our family?" and "What does our family provide for you that you don't get from friends?" Consider having each family member answer these questions individually. Then you can openly and honestly compare answers. Encourage your family members to ask questions, too. During your family discussion, it is important that you all practice good listening skills. To indicate that you are listening, ask follow up questions. For example, if your partner says he values honesty, ask him how that can become more of a focus for the family.  You can also use non-verbal cues to indicate that you are listening. Nod your head when someone is speaking, and smile to indicate you appreciate what is being said. Try to limit interruptions. Ask everyone to put away their cell phones and turn off the tv while you are having this important conversation. Once you have spent some time discussing your family values and enjoying quality time together, you can begin the process of more clearly defining your family values. Take some time to sit down together and make a list of the values that are most important. You can think of these values as firm guidelines that your family is agreeing to live by.  Writing things down can help your family gain mental clarity about shared values. Try writing down items such as "help society" or "religion/spirituality" or "honest communication with family members". Try having each family member choose 3-4 values that they feel are most important. Combined, this will give you a manageable number of values to put on your permanent list. For example, you could choose "Safety" as one of the primary values for your family. Each family member could then indicate how they will stick to this value. You could pledge to always drive the speed limit. Your daughter could promise to always wear a helmet when riding her bike. Treat defining your family values as a family decision. If your children are a little older, such as teenagers, make sure they feel like they are an important part of the process. Say things such as, "We value your input. How do you feel about including education as one of our primary family values?"  You can also encourage your kids to explain their opinions. Try saying, "What do you like about this choice? Why do you think adding humor as a family value is the best option?"  If your children are still pretty young, you can find other ways to get them involved. Try having them draw a picture of the things they love about your family. Once you have reflected on your values and discussed them with your family, you should have a good idea of how to define your family values. One way to solidify them is to write a mission statement. This is a document that indicates what your family values and can also include goals. The mission statement is a formal declaration of the values you share as a family.  Write down what the purpose of your family is and a strategy for making sure that you remain focused on that purpose. Try writing an introduction that states why your family is choosing these particular values. You can talk about how your family is committed to these values in order to help promote good life choices. The introduction doesn't have to be long, just a paragraph will do. List the values. You can organize them by categories such as Health, Happiness, Balance, and Stability. Then, you can indicate your family strategy for sticking to each of these values.  You can print the mission statement and have it framed. Having it hang in your home is a good way to remind each of you of what is truly important to your family.
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One-sentence summary --
Ask questions. Be a good listener. Solidify your family values. Make sure your children are involved. Write a mission statement.