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Plenty of shy people are very comfortable and happy with themselves, and have healthy levels of self-confidence. Don’t think that just because you’re shy, there’s something wrong with you. Your partner chose you because they liked your personality, and your shyness is part of that. Even if it’s something you want to work on for your own sake in the relationship, never forget that you can be confident and powerful even if you’re shy. Never apologize for being shy. Explain why you’re reacting the way you are, say that you’re working on it because you want to, but never give anyone the impression that you owe them extroversion. Studies have shown that discussing your shyness-related anxiety can lessen the effects of it, and experts suggest that showing vulnerability is actually a good way to increase trust and intimacy between partners. Especially in new relationships, it's very important to have a conversation about your shyness at the outset; this will pave the way for easier conversations down the road that will make your relationship a lasting one. There’s certainly nothing to be ashamed of, so be open and honest about how you’re feeling when you feel yourself tensing up.  Don’t bottle up your nervous feelings to deal with them later. Tell your partner how you’re feeling in real time. Don’t dwell on your shyness; get it out in the open, then move on to another subject when the feeling passes. Let your partner comfort you if they try. Because you know that you struggle with shyness, you might put extra pressure on yourself to make a relationship work immediately, but relationships don't work like that even for extroverted people. Instead of trying to connect with your boyfriend or girlfriend all the time, take enough time with yourself and with the friends and family you feel comfortable with to keep yourself happy. When you're happier, your relationship will have a better chance of working out. Many shy people find that it's face-to-face interactions that cause them the most anxiety, but that they can communicate by text or on the internet more comfortably. Most new couples don't spend all their time together anyway, so keep in touch through texting, Facebook, Twitter, and other methods of communication that will let you establish a relationship and get to know each other without all the anxiety of seeing the person in the flesh. If you find yourself seizing up with shyness when you’re out on dates with your new boyfriend or girlfriend, try going through the steps of a date without the pressure of being around someone who makes you nervous because of their newness.  Ask a platonic friend or relative who you're very comfortable with to go on a “date” with you. Go through all the steps: get dressed up, pick them up/have them pick you up, go to a restaurant and have a nice conversation. Familiarize yourself with the dating context, and try to remember that it’s all old hat when you’re on a real date with your partner. If your significant other wants to talk, then let them and just practice being a good listener. This will allow you to learn more about your significant other and it will help to deepen the connection between the two of you. It will also take some of the pressure to talk and come up with interesting things to say off of you. If you can’t ever think of anything to say to your partner, then do a little bit of work when you’re alone to fix that situation. Watch the news, read books and magazines, and keep up on pop culture that you have in common — whether music, movies, or graphic novels — to ensure that you always have something new to bring up when you’re together. Your initial response to proposed activities may be “no” — not because you don’t want to do something with your partner, but because you need a few moments to feel comfortable enough to say yes. These “activities” might be as simple as accepting a phone call immediately instead of waiting for it to go to voicemail and calling back.  Push yourself gently but surely into situations that put you outside of your comfort zone. Don’t rush yourself! Start small and work your way up to taking bigger steps, like spontaneous romantic vacations. If a romantic setting like a fancy dinner makes you nervous, then lower the bar. Go on a date where you won’t feel so much pressure to make a one-on-one connection, but can enjoy yourselves together in a more public setting. Depending on what your interests are, you might go to:  A sporting event where you can be among a crowd A museum, where you can discuss the exhibits rather than personal details A movie or theatrical production, where you can spend time together without speaking Shyness often comes with a lot of anxiety about being in social situations, and in a relationship, you’re expected to be very open and intimate with your partner. That can be very stressful for a shy person! If you feel yourself tensing up around your partner, do a simple relaxation exercise to calm yourself down and put you in a better frame of mind.  Take a deep breath and hold it for a count of four, then exhale, controlling your breath on the way out. Repeat until you’ve overcome your anxiety.
Understand the difference between shyness and low self-esteem. Be upfront about your shyness from the beginning. Relax, and don't rush a young relationship. Get to know your boyfriend or girlfriend through technology. Practice for a new relationship by going on practice dates. Allow your significant other to talk as much as they like. Have topics ready for regular small-talk. Make saying “yes” a habit. Go on low-pressure outings. Breathe deeply to relax.