Summarize:

An authoritative style is high in acceptance and freedom, while still having clearly defined rules and expectations. This type of parenting is correlated with high academic achievement.  An authoritative style involves being warm, caring, and flexible with the child. Focus on setting boundaries and rules, but be willing to negotiate or be flexible if necessary. Accept the teen for who he is, and let him know that you accept him. Encourage him to work toward his dreams, whatever they may be.   Authoritative parents are involved. Teens experience involvement when their parents are available to help them with homework and other challenges, as well as when their parents spend quality time with the family.  Avoid authoritarian parenting. Authoritarian parenting is associated with strict and inflexible rules and an, "I'm right and you're wrong" mentality. An example of authoritarian style parenting would be if the teen said, "My father tells me that he is right and I should just obey him and never question his authority." Instead of being authoritarian, allow your teen to be involved in the boundary-setting process. Explain the reason for the rules that are made, and give the teen a chance to voice his opinion. Negotiate and compromise in order to come to a decision. For example, if you think your teen should have straight A's, while the teen believes this is too high an expectation, be willing to adjust this standard to meet the teens needs. Perhaps you could come to an agreement for him to get at least a B in each class. This type of communication is associated with conveying your message in a respectful and appropriate manner. Assertiveness comes from an, "I'm okay. You're okay" thought process.  Use an appropriate tone that is calm and comforting. Say, “no” when necessary. Explain your reasoning for rules and why they are in place. Be honest and open about your thoughts and feelings (while also being respectful and tactful). Use I statements such as, "I feel angry when you stay out past curfew." Avoid aggressive communication. Aggressive communication comes from an, "I'm okay, you're not okay," mentality. Do not threaten or yell at your child, this models inappropriate behaviors for the teen and can make him feel fearful. Limit passive communication. Passivity in communication is not expressing your needs and feelings. Passiveness comes from a, "You're okay. I'm not okay" perspective. A passive parent might be afraid of his teenager and instead of communicating with him, he would avoid him. Teens need structure in order to feel safe and secure and to reduce the likelihood of engagement in risky behaviors.  Set limits that are realistic and fair. Make house rules. Tell your teen what behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not. For example, give your adolescent a curfew, and explain the specific consequences of staying out past the curfew. Assign chores. Having chores can give the youth a sense of responsibility. Explain that everyone in the home needs to contribute. You can make a chore chart and provide rewards when your children complete their chores without being asked. Set specific consequences for undesirable behaviors. Be very specific about what your teenager is not allowed to do (i.e. stay out past curfew, cut school, use drugs, etc.), as well as what will happen if the youth breaks the rule (i.e. grounding, taking away car or other privileges). Make sure your teen knows that he has a choice of whether or not to follow the rules. Rewarding desired behaviors can result in an increase in those behaviors and a reduction in associated negative behaviors. One study showed that youth who were rewarded for wearing their seat belts increased their overall seat belt use.  Reward good behavior. When your child does something positive such as getting a good grade on a test, offer a reward such as a new piece of clothing that he wants. Draw attention to positive qualities. High self-esteem in teenagers is a factor that helps guard against the development of negative feelings and behaviors. Tell your child that you are proud of him. Give specific examples of his accomplishments such as getting a good grade on a test or paper, being honest, or doing his chores. Allow the youth to earn freedom. A youth that believes he is in control is associated with lower levels of aggressive behavior.
Use authoritative parenting. Use assertive communication. Set boundaries. Use positive reinforcement.