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This doesn't mean that you're cramping your own style. You're being smart by letting a family member or friend know where - and when - to start looking for you and worrying, if it comes to that. You don't need to provide a GPS tracker, but it's smart to leave a MapQuest or Google map of your planned route for your friend or parent so they know where to look for you if you don't show up. Knowing you have taken these simple precautions can boost your confidence significantly.  Before you leave to meet your friends, call or text them to let them know you're on your way so they'll know something is up if you're not there. When you get there, tell your friend or parent that you've made it safely. If you're driving somewhere by yourself, you need to make sure that you have a spare tire in case you get a flat tire and that nothing on your dashboard is lit up before you go. You should also have a AAA or other roadside emergency service card with you as well as a charged cell phone. Fill your car up with gas before you leave. Just checking to make sure everything is cool before you get going is a great step to give you peace of mind before you head out. Before you get out of your car, think about where you have parked. Is it well-lit, easy to see from the street? This is the best place to park if alone. Avoid parking in dark alleys or very far away from the door of your destination. Remember where you parked - this is very important. Mentally map your path to the door of the place you're going, take note of anyone on the street, and gather your things quickly.  Upon leaving your car, check carefully that it is locked and you have left nothing enticing (like a laptop bag or an iPad) in plain view. Walk purposefully - do not meander - directly to the door and enter immediately. Lingering on the street is not a good idea, it allows potential attackers to see that you are alone. Keep anyone you noticed out on the street in your mind, and in the corner of your eye, if possible. Even if you're in a relatively safe neighborhood -- and especially if you're not -- you should find the most popular, well-lit street. If you're walking down a dark alley, or find yourself in the middle of a dim residential street, you're more likely to get robbed if there's no one around. A well-lit path will make it easier for you to see where you're going and it will keep criminals from coming your way. Here are some other things to do if you're on foot:  Don't listen to your head phones or keep checking your text messages. Stay alert. Walk in the opposite direction of the flow of traffic so an abductor is less likely to put you in his car. Know exactly where you're going to leave the house. If you check your phone's map app every few minutes, you'll be making yourself an easy target. If you're out alone in the dark, it's not a good time to stop at an ATM. It's important to remember that you do not have to suddenly earn a black belt in karate or carry a knife around with you - but if you're generally confident when you go out alone, knowing that you can take care of yourself can reassure you greatly. Train your senses so you will feel like you can look after yourself - be more observant, so that you will know if something is about to happen.  If you travel or live in risky or dangerous areas, learn how to block punches, or think of how to avoid harmful incidents. Developing a more street smart attitude may seem silly, or pointless, but the simple knowledge that you can protect yourself will increase your confidence.

summary: Tell someone where you are going and how long you plan to stay. Make sure your car is in good shape if you're driving. Park your car in a safe location. Walk down a well-lit path when you're on foot. Learn how to defend yourself.


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Don't be in a hurry to start dating once you have lost your spouse. You have spent many years with this person, and whether your relationship was happy or not, you should fully grieve before moving on. Remember, there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and there is no exact time when grieving ends. If you are unable to discuss your spouse without an extreme emotional display, you may need to wait longer before getting back in the dating game. In the meantime, take good care of yourself by eating well, getting physical activity, and avoiding behaviors that jeopardize health, such as drinking or using drugs. Join a grief support group or see a counselor. Yes, you will have to move on and live a life without your loved one. But, you don’t necessarily have to “get over” the loss. “Getting over” a death implies that you will somehow return to normal at some point. Considering how closely interconnected your life was with your spouse’s, returning to normal is impossible. What you want to strive for is acceptance. Learn how to integrate the loss into a new identity in which you plan for a future without your beloved. It can help to fill your social calendar with new and exciting activities, such as checking out books from the library, getting a part-time job if you are retired, taking up a new hobby, participating in group fitness classes, or adopting a pet. The object of dating is not to replace your spouse. You may long for someone just like your previous love, but having such a desire will only lead to disappointment. Think about what qualities you would like to find in a new partner. Be realistic – having a laundry list of desired traits will make it hard for you to find a match. For example, consider some things you would like to do, such as traveling, and look for a partner who shares that same passion. It’s common for widow(er)s to feel a sense of guilt for wanting get back out on the market. You believe it is a betrayal of your spouse to smile at a new man or enjoy coffee with a new woman. You must release these feelings and recognize that you are, indeed, single. Your spouse would want you to enjoy the remainder of your life as you see fit.
summary: Take your time. Don’t believe you have to let go. Figure out what you want. Release guilt.