In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to lose your cool and blurt out the first thing that pops into your head. But words really can hurt, and you don’t want to say anything that might make the fight worse or permanently damage the relationship. Force yourself to slow down and choose your words carefully.  Before you say something, ask yourself if you really mean it and if it’s really necessary to say it. For example, you may find yourself wanting to say, “You’re a terrible friend!” Do you really think that? Will saying it help resolve your fight? If the answer to either of those questions is “no,” don’t say it! Try mentally rephrasing what you want to say before you say it so you focus on their behavior. For example, instead of “You’re a terrible friend,” say, “I feel really frustrated with the way you’ve been acting lately.” This shows your friend you're concerned about how they're behaving but doesn't attack your friend. Staying calm during a fight is easier said than done. But if you can manage it, it will go a long way toward keeping the fight from escalating and getting out of hand. Take a few deep breaths or count to 10 in your head if you feel like you’re losing your cool.  You can also try grounding yourself by focusing on things in your environment. For example, take a second to spot 5 blue things in the room, or focus on the physical sensations inside and outside your body. If you have to, walk out of the room for a few minutes and come back when you feel calmer. You could even say to your friend, “I’m feeling really upset. I need a minute to myself.” If your friend feels like you are blaming or labeling them, they will probably react defensively. Using language that focuses on you and your feelings will help you feel more in control of your reactions, and will also feel less hostile to your friend. For example: Instead of saying, “You’re always standing me up! You’re unreliable!” say “I feel really disappointed and upset when we make plans and then you don’t show up. I have a hard time feeling like I can rely on you.” Your best friend probably knows how to get under your skin better than anyone, and you can probably give back just as good as you get. Don’t give in to the temptation to belittle your friend or call them names. Even if they’re not fighting fair, taking the high road and being the bigger person will help you feel better and may help your friend calm down, as well.  Never insult or threaten your friend during a fight. Even if you’re really mad at your friend about something, try to focus on their negative behaviors rather than who they are as a person. Try to be respectful of your friend by not interrupting them or shouting them down when they’re trying to speak. Avoid exaggerations and absolutes, such as “You never listen to me!” Not all fights are going to be resolved in a single argument. If things are getting out of hand and you just aren’t making any headway, it might be time to walk away from each other for a while—even if it’s for a few days or a few weeks. Try again when you’ve both had a chance to cool down. You might say to your friend, “Fighting like this isn’t getting us anywhere. Let’s take a break and talk about this later.”

Summary: Think before you speak. Try to stay calm. Use “I” language. Keep it civil. Take a time out for a bit, if you have to.


Since you’re going to be sending sawdust everywhere, work outside where you have plenty of space and ventilation. Set up your sawhorses in a spacious area of your garden or yard. Put on a dust mask and protective eyewear. Lay your 1 in × 4 in (2.5 cm × 10.2 cm) fence boards flat on your sawhorses. Use a measuring tape to measure the board into 6 different pieces of equal lengths. Use a straight edge or angle square to mark a straight line where you want to cut with a carpentry pencil.  4 of these pieces will make the longer sides of your box, while 2 of them will serve as the base. The size of your sides will determine how long the length of your box will be. A length of 3 feet (0.91 m) is good for a medium-sized box that will fit 3-5 smaller plants. You can use pine, spruce, or fir, but cedar is generally more durable and is better at handling intense weather over long periods of time. Use pressure-treated wood if you don’t plan on eating anything that comes out of your planter box, since it will hold up better over time. You don’t want the chemicals used to pressure-treat wood seeping into any fruits, vegetables, or spices that you’re growing, so don’t use pressure-treated wood if you’re growing any vegetables, fruits, or spices. Press the edge of your circular saw’s base plate up against the line you want to cut and pull the trigger to fire the saw. Wait 2-3 seconds until your saw is spinning at maximum speed and move the saw forward to start your cut. Use the guide line on the front of the base plate to guide your cutting line. Repeat this process for each cut until you have 6 pieces of equal length.  Set 2 of the lengths aside. These will be the bed of your planter box and will come in handy later. You can use a miter saw instead of a circular saw if you prefer. You can use the first length as a straight edge to cut your other pieces so that they’re uniform. Don’t push forward too hard as you cut. Let the traction from the saw blade pull you through the cut. Use a measuring tape to measure out 4 lengths of equal size on 2 in × 2 in (5.1 cm × 5.1 cm) cedar posts. Use a straight edge or angle square and a carpentry pencil to indicate the location of each cut.  The longer you make your pieces, the higher off of the ground your box will sit. 14 in (36 cm) pieces will make your box sit relatively low to the ground while still keeping it elevated off of the floor. You can also mark off one cut and then use a single piece as a straight edge for each additional portion. Rub a file against the edges where you cut to remove any splinters and even out any rough edges. Place each section of your 2 in × 2 in (5.1 cm × 5.1 cm) board flat on your sawhorse and put the edge of your circular saw’s base plate against the line that you marked. Pull the trigger on the saw and carefully run it through your guiding line. Repeat this process for each section until you have 4 separate pieces. These 4 pieces will serve as the individual legs for your planter box. You will install them inside your box to keep the frame together. You’re going to join your 2 sides together with 4 smaller pieces. You’re going to stack 2 of these smaller pieces on top of one another for each side, so you need 4 pieces total. Measure and mark your lengths on the fence board with a measuring tape and straight edge and cut them the same way you cut your other pieces.  These 4 pieces will be used to form the sides on the 2 shorter ends of your box. 12 in (30 cm) is a good length for your fence board pieces if you want a medium-sized planter box. The ends will determine the horizontal depth of your planter box, so you can use larger pieces to make a bigger box, or smaller pieces to make a shallow planter.
Summary: Set up your work station outside and wear protective gear. Set up fence boards on your sawhorses and measure 6 pieces. Cut your 6 lengths with a circular saw. Measure 4 pieces of cedar to make your legs. Cut your cedar boards into 4 pieces of equal length. Measure and cut 4 pieces of fence board for the shorter sides of your box.