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Trauma causes psychological and physiological effects similar to anxiety and intense fear in present time – as if the trauma never ended. Bad memories bring up painful emotions such as sadness and guilt, but they do not alter your perceptions the way that acute trauma does.  Trauma must be dealt with in its own way and usually requires professional assistance. It can sometimes take years for the symptoms of trauma to surface. You may have nightmares, disturbing thoughts, depression, phobias, anxiety, or flashbacks because of a traumatic event. Healing from past trauma can be a slow process, and it may be difficult to stop thinking about it for a while. Just trust that if you keep working on it, things will get better. Look for a counselor or program that specializes in trauma. You are in charge of your recovery, and how and when it will take place. However you decide to pursue treatment, your program should offer these essential things:  Empowerment: Your recovery is an opportunity for you to take back control. While guidance is important, you must be in charge of your healing. If your counselor suggests something that feels wrong or you're just not ready to do, you don't have to do it. Validation: Your experience may have been minimized or dismissed over the years. Your group or counselor can validate what happened to you and how the trauma has shaped your life. Connection: Experiencing trauma can be extremely isolating. Talking with others and sharing your story with people who understand can help you start feeling connected again. Talking about what happened to you is an important part of healing. Choose someone patient, kind, and someone who knows that what happened to you is serious. Someone who responds with things like, "Just don't think about it anymore," "Forgive and forget," or "That's not so bad," is not an appropriate person to talk to.  You may need to talk about your trauma over and over – make sure the person you are talking to understands that this is important. Getting it off your chest one time is good, but you will need to keep re-visiting and talking about it. If there's no one in your life you feel close to or trust, reach out to someone in your life that you really like. Ask them to do something fun and, if that feels good, invite them to do something else in the future. Spending time with this person can help you begin to form a close relationship. Be aware that talking about trauma with someone can cause them vicarious trauma, in which they experience symptoms of trauma from listening to your story of trauma. Try not to be offended if your friend can not listen to your story everyday. Family and friends are a great place to start, but if you are needing more support, a trauma counselor is trained to avoid vicarious trauma. It can be hard to think of ways to comfort yourself when you're having a difficult time. Write a list of things that make you feel better and post it in a prominent place so you can reference it easily. Some possibilities include:  Do something creative, like painting, drawing, woodworking, needlepoint, or other crafts. Get some exercise. It doesn't have to be intense – you could just go for a walk around the neighborhood. Or try running, swimming, playing a sport, dancing, hiking, or anything else that gets your body moving. Play with children in your family or a pet. This can have a very calming effect, which can make you feel better. Sing quietly or sing at the top of your lungs. Fill your lungs with fresh air and belt out your favorite tunes. Wear something that makes you feel good. Put on your favorite shirt or some jewelry that you enjoy wearing.
Recognize that trauma is different from painful memories. Seek help from a group or mental health professional. Confide in someone you trust. Make a list of ways you can take care of yourself.