Summarize:

Not everyone who gambles has a problem with it. It is important to determine whether or not the other person has an addiction. There are many common symptoms of compulsive gambling that you can look for.  Many times, compulsive gamblers will not only spend a long time gambling but they may be desperate to find more and more money to gamble with. Lying, stealing, or engaging in illegal activities to get more money are clear signs that there is a problem. A compulsive gambler may constantly increase the stakes or money so that they can get a bigger thrill. A compulsive gambler may try to hide their habit from family and friends. This means that they may lie about how often or how much they gamble. They may also be in denial about the extent of their problem. If you want to help a compulsive gambler, you may need to discuss the problem. This may be when you start to see a pattern of behavior leading to compulsive gambling or after the person has gotten into trouble due to their gambling.  To decide if you should bring it up to the gambler, you should look at your relationship with the person. Are you close, or are you just casual acquaintances or colleagues? If you are not close to the person, you may want to discuss any problematic behavior you see with someone close to the gambler, like a spouse, family member, or close friend. Start by asking, “Do you think your gambling has become a problem?” After listening to their answer, you can say, “I care about you and I am worried. I’ve noticed that you are gambling more and using money in your savings. I’d like to talk about the possibility of a gambling problem.” You may also say, “I am concerned because you said you were only going to gamble $20, but you gambled hundreds.” The other person may become defensive when you begin the talk. Try to remain calm, and avoid being accusatory. Be sympathetic to their issues, and avoid judging them for their problem. Expressing anger or blame will inevitably lead to problems.  Avoid starting sentences with "you." Instead, use "I" statements. For example, instead of saying, "you're wasting all of your money," you can say, "I'm worried about how much money you're spending." Ask them about other parts of their life as well. Is there anything they're unhappy about? Are they struggling with depression or other issues? When you talk to the person about their gambling problem, calmly explain the consequences that can arise from their behavior. Don’t yell or get angry. Instead, remain logical as you present facts about the harm and damage compulsive gambling can lead to.  For example, you may want to talk about the depletion of savings and the legal problems if you gamble money you don’t have. You can mention how gambling can put the person and their family into debt and cause problems for their loved ones. Gambling may also lead to violence, stealing, and lying. You may want to say to the person, “Gambling can be fun when controlled. However, gambling can become a serious addiction. If you can’t control your gambling, you may end up in debt or losing the money you’ve worked so hard to save. Gambling may even end with jail time if you can’t pay your debts.” Some people may be glad that you brought up the issue because they didn’t know how to bring it up themselves. However, some people may get extremely angry or defensive when you mention they have a problem. They may think you are accusing them of something or become confrontational. Others may just refuse to talk about it. If the conversation doesn’t go well, let it go and broach the subject later. Avoid trying to push the subject when the other person is angry or unwilling to communicate.
Identify signs of a gambling problem. Talk to them about their problem. Avoid judging them. Explain the consequences. Prepare for any reaction.