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Write down how you feel when you think about your spouse. Try to consider if you feel angry, frustrated, hopeless, or disinterested in your marriage. If you answer yes to the following questions, you may need counseling:  Do you feel as though your partner consistently takes you for granted? Do you feel as though you are often or consistently neglected or ignored by your partner? Does your partner make you feel angry or annoyed on a daily basis? Do you feel jealous of your partner's friends or career? Do you feel sad, hopeless, or "stuck" in your marriage? Trust is essential for a relationship to succeed. If you and your spouse cannot trust each other, it is time for you to get professional help. Some signs of trust issues include:  Monitoring the phone calls, text messages, emails, and social media of your partner. Refusing to allow each other to go out or socialize with friends. Accusing each other of cheating without adequate evidence. Keeping secrets from each other. All couples may go through periods of reduced sexual activity, but these should be temporary. If you or your partner has lost interest in sex for a prolonged period of time, seek advice from a counselor.  Try to keep track of how often you have had sex in the last 2-3 months. While every couple's expectation is different, ask yourself if you're satisfied with this pattern. If not, seek counseling. Alternatively, if your spouse seems dissatisfied with your sex life, don't ignore their complaints. Even if you're happy with it, you should address their concerns. Some problems in the bedroom can be solved through communication and compromise. That said, if talking to your spouse about the problem doesn't work, see a counselor. Contempt means that 1 or both partners see themselves as better than the other partner. Ideally, in a relationship, both partners respect each other and see each other equal footing. If you answer yes to the following questions, consider seeing a marriage counselor:  Do you often get mad at your partner for doing things "wrong"? Does your partner yell at you for doing things a certain way? Do you or your partner believe that you are smarter than the other person? Do you often forget why you are married to your spouse? Is it difficult for you to think of your spouse's positive qualities? Do you or your partner refuse to take responsibility for your actions in the relationship? If the answer is yes, marriage counseling can help strengthen your relationship, no matter how rough it may be at this moment. If you're uncertain, marriage counseling may help you figure out your feelings. If the answer is no, you must seriously consider whether or not counseling will help you love your partner again. If counseling is to help, you must be willing to put in the effort to save your marriage.
Reflect on your feelings regarding the marriage. Identify any trust issues in your relationship. Monitor the frequency and satisfaction of your sex life. Assess if your relationship is defined by contempt. Ask yourself if you still love your spouse.