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While the content of your retort matters, so too does the style with which you deliver it. Avoid condescension or superiority in tone of voice. Also avoid sounding hurt or insulted, as if your comeback has been forged in the fire of your burning rage. Speak your witty comeback clearly, quickly, and with confidence. Include a slight smile in your voice and eyes, because you need to veer to the funnier, humorous side of what is happening to be a successful wit. (or at least minimize it). Swearing isn't typically considered witty, but rather a visceral expression of emotions. It might make you feel better as tension is released, but mostly it makes you seem immature. It's also not going to hit the target of undoing their argument or statements. However, your opponent's swearing can definitely be used as a target of your wit, such as making a biting comment or saying in a monotone: "Oh, you're swearing now? How mature," and leaving it at that. Closely related to swearing, name-calling simply makes you look envious, lost, and overly emotional. Name-calling might again seem like a great outlet for your anger and frustration, but it works to your opponent's advantage all too easily and isn't that witty. If you must name-call, stick to their argument rather than them. For example, say "That's a very odd way to see the situation," rather than "You're an idiot." Or try "Well, I'm now thoroughly convinced of your ignorance in the matter" instead of “You’re so ignorant.” A witty comeback that seeks to assert your superiority or greater status will usually backfire, because it will turn into a matter of the other person insisting that "you think you're too good for me," and so forth. Once you're in this type of argument, things usually spiral ever more out of control.  Responding along the lines of "Yes, I used to have that same problem in school ... preschool, that is" can take on more or less of a snobbish air depending upon the context and your delivery. It is hard to walk the fine line between being witty and snobbish, but the key factor is to retain your sense of humor and see the triviality of the situation. of people who take things personally. Sure, they shouldn't keep playing victim and acting as if their whole world will fall apart if you so much as poke them, but you have to take people as you find them. In some cases, it's plain unfair, unkind, and uncaring to provoke a weak arguer with witty comebacks.  Perhaps it's your intent to teach such a person a lesson. But at least do consider the consequences of demolishing a verbal opponent who is likely to fly into a sulk, funk, or rage as a result. On the other hand, if they're being a complete jerk, then perhaps it is the lesson they need regardless of their weak armor. Be aware that dismissing someone verbally removes your validation from them. Don't do it too often, as putting them down is direct and alienating; be sure there is a real need for it. Once done, it's done, and if you wish to open dialog with someone you've put down, be the first to offer the olive branch and to make it clear that you bear no grudges. Say something like "I really like the way you kicked the ball the other day, but I didn't appreciate your attitude following the game. I felt I had no choice but to put your bad mood in its place. I hope you'll forgive my direct approach." Despite the whole “sticks and stones” saying, words have the ability to hurt. So, be sure that your words are still considerate of the dignity of the other person. In turn, don't let their words get to you; if you choose to be wounded, then you will find yourself struggling to overcome the verbal barbs. Refuse to permit their words to become any more than just words, and get on with your day in the knowledge that you have maintained your dignity, spoken with integrity and intelligence, and respected yourself and the other person.
Retort in a composed, serene, and confident manner. Avoid swearing Tone down the name-calling. Steer clear of being snobby. Be considerate Don't hold grudges. Respect yourself and the other person.