Summarize:

Boundaries are important to help you build a relationship with your parents that's manageable for you. Emotionally distant parents may play mind games or duck in and out of your life. Let your parents know what behaviors are not acceptable.  Set boundaries in the moment when your parents do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. For example, if your parents invite you to a holiday event at the last minute, let them know you can't make it and that late invitations don't work for you. Say something like, "I appreciate you inviting me to Christmas, but I need you to send me these invitations sooner. I'm sorry, but I've already made other plans." Emotionally distant people are prone to manipulating others. Try to catch moments when your parents are being manipulative. If you catch your parents playing games with you, disengage immediately.  Your parents may guilt you, make accusations, compare you to others, or engage in other behaviors to make you feel like their distance is your fault. Watch out for these kinds of behaviors. For example, say your parent suddenly starts calling you every day after ignoring you for months. When you're unable to take all their calls, they accuse you of not valuing the relationship. Refuse to respond to these accusations as they're a form of manipulation. It can be easy to get over-involved in drama caused by emotionally distant parents. If you find yourself exhausted by your parents, focus on what you have going on. Spend time with your friends, pursue your hobbies, and focus on your career and other relationships. Your parents do not have to define your happiness. While it's important to try to disengage from emotionally distant parents, remember it's okay to feel sad, frustrated, or angry. Do not always try to push away emotions. If your parents hurt your feelings, do something like vent to a friend, journal about how you're feeling, or take a long walk to help yourself process. While acknowledging emotions is important, you do not have to linger on them. Let yourself feel what you're feeling, but try to focus on other things after letting out your emotions. You will never completely stop caring about your relationship with your parents. However, you can learn to gradually care less over time. Focus on building relationships with people who support you in return rather than seeking your parents' approval.
Set boundaries. Recognize games and manipulation. Stay present in your own life. Do not ignore your emotions. Take steps to care less.