Since friends should accept you as you are, it’s always a red flag if someone is trying to mold you into someone you’re not. You aren’t someone’s project, so don’t let them turn you into one. If you recognize the following signs your friends are trying to change you, take a break from the relationship and look for new friends:  They try to get you to dress like they do. They make fun of your interests. They compare you to other people. They make you do things you don't like. They try to make decisions for you. They hide or throw away your things. They make you feel insecure. While it’s okay for friends to offer constructive criticism to help each other do better, it’s not okay for them to constantly criticize you. Pay attention to how your friends talk to you. Make sure they’re offering you support instead of dragging you down. For instance, let’s say you made a mistake in a presentation and feel embarrassed about it. A good friend will say something like, “You did great overall,” or “You’ll do better next time.” A toxic friend might say something like, “You should have practiced more,” or “Yeah, you were terrible.” A good friend will prioritize you, so they’ll put a lot of effort into spending time with you. Consider if it feels like you’re always the one texting them, you make all the plans, and you have to pursue them to get them to hang out with you. If you’re doing all the work, it might be time to find new friends. For instance, there should be a balance between you texting them to start a conversation and them texting you. Similarly, they should invite you to do things sometimes instead of you always reaching out to them. Friends want the best for each other, so your friends should celebrate your successes. However, toxic friends will get jealous and competitive. Consider how your friends react when things are going well for you. As an example, let’s say you have a great new partner. Your friends should be happy for you instead of jealous that they don’t have what you have. Friends want the best for each other, so your friends should support your self-improvement goals. That means they won’t try to get you to engage in bad habits that you’re quitting and won’t undermine your goals. Consider if your friends help you improve or hamper your progress. If they’re holding you back, it might be time to find new friends. For example, let’s say you’re trying to eat healthy. If your friends are actively trying to sabotage you, they’re not being good friends. Similarly, if you’re trying to stop drinking, good friends won’t try to get you to go bar hopping with them. Unfortunately, your friends can sometimes try to control your emotions, which isn’t fair to you. They might try to make you feel bad for them or guilty when you didn’t do anything wrong. This can leave you feeling confused. If your friends make you feel emotionally manipulated, it’s probably best for you to start looking for new friends. As an example, a manipulative friend might say something like, “You don’t care about me anyway,” to make you feel bad for them.

Summary: Watch for signs they’re trying to change you. Notice if they criticize you instead of offering support. Recognize if you're putting in all the effort. Pay attention to if they always seem jealous of you. Be cautious if they hold you back from making healthy choices. Look for signs that they’re manipulating you.


A large bag is essential for any pool party, as it will hold everything that you might need.  Fortunately, your bag doesn’t have to match a theme or even your outfit.  Aim for any cute patterns or colors that you like. Just make sure the bag is big enough to hold everything you need – don’t make it too big though.  Try getting a beach bag that has hidden pockets, that way you can hide any personal items, such as sanitary napkins, or valuables, such as your phone. The material isn’t important, although you should consider that your bag may get wet.  If you have a leather or suede bag, this might damage the material.  Choose what makes you feel great. Just because this is a pool party doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t wear jewelry.  Part of being fashionable is wearing the perfect jewelry for the occasion.  You want to accessorize, not decorate, so practice moderation.  Consider simple earrings and a thin, chain necklace. Or, go bold and wear a chunky necklace or even a long, beaded necklace with accompanying earrings. You can also stack bracelets for a cute look. Don’t wear your best pieces to a pool party, as you run the risk of losing them or getting them wet. If you’re going to swim, consider putting your jewelry in the secret pocket of your large bag while you’re in the water. A simple and always-appropriate accessory for any pool party is a hot pair of sunglasses.  You need to protect your eyes from UV rays, and sunglasses scream fashionable.  Try to wear some designer sunglasses if you have the money. If not, there are some cheaper imitations of the real deal at most box stores. Get a pair that you feel compliment your face shape. A sun hat is another great way to protect your eyes and will also keep the sun off of your face. Sandals or flip flops are the most fashionable and practical choices for any pool party.  You don’t want to wear expensive footwear to a pool party, as they will surely get wet.  Instead, choose less expensive, comfortable shoes that complement your outfit. Big, box stores and even discount shoe retailers are a great source of cute summer shoes. Your beach towel should be fun or brightly colored, and most importantly, it should be big.  Your colorful towel will not only attract attention, but it will be big enough for others to sit on while they talk with you. Big, fun towels are inviting, attention getting, and perfect for drying off and soaking up the sun.
Summary: Carry a cute, large bag. Wear great jewelry. Protect your eyes. Wear cute summer shoes. Have a funky beach towel.