Finding someone to confide in is essential when you’re dealing with the end of a relationship. You might have trouble finding other family members to talk to, since they might feel caught in the middle, so try talking to a close friend. It also may be a good idea to talk to a counselor, since toxic family relationships can have long-lasting effects on your self-esteem. Once you remove a toxic person from your life, you should seek to fill that space with positive activities that you love. Everyone’s self-care looks different, but it’s important for you to do the things that make you feel happy and self-confident. This might mean soaking in a hot tub, taking up a new hobby, or going back to school. Acknowledge your strengths, especially if your family member regularly put you down. If you need to, write down a list of the best things about yourself and put it somewhere you’ll see it every day. It can be hard sometimes to see other happy families, or to think back to what your family looked like before the negativity occurred. Just keep in mind that even a family that looks perfect from the outside can have its own problems, and focus on the good things you do have in your life. For instance, you might have a poor relationship with your children, but you might have an excellent support system in your church. You might not be able to choose your family, but you can choose who you spend time around, and you don’t have to put up with hurtful behavior. Use this experience to teach you what you will and will not accept from the people in your life, and be firm about those boundaries in the future.  For instance, if you finally decided you had enough of your brother calling you names your whole life, then you certainly don’t have to put up with a date doing it! Practice if/then statements in case you find yourself in a similar situation in the future. For examples, you might tell yourself, “If someone says something about me that isn’t true, then I will speak up immediately, because that’s not acceptable.” The decision of whether or not to mend your relationship with this person is up to you. If you do decide that eventually you would like to let this person back into your life, take your time. Let them prove to you that they can build a new, healthy relationship with you.  When you re-establish contact, have a conversation where you make your boundaries clear. Say something like, “I will not ever tolerate you making disrespectful comments about my weight. If you do that again, I will leave and not come back.” If you see the person falling back into old habits, back away again. If the person has been abusive to you, it may be best not to allow them back into your life.

Summary: Talk about what happened to someone you trust. Practice a routine of self-care. Don’t dwell on what you wish you had. Set healthy boundaries in future relationships. Let the person back into your life slowly if you choose to at all.


Start by lacing underneath the bottom eyelets on both sides of each boot. This will help you criss-cross the laces using moderate to high tension, depending on how snug you need to make your boots. To relieve any pressure at the base of the boots, start criss-crossing the laces from the top part of the bottom eyelet. All consecutive eyelets should be threaded from underneath. The criss-cross technique is common, but also the most comfortable to wear with boots. After you lace the first pair of eyelets, criss-cross each lace to the opposite side by threading underneath each eyelet. To put on your boots easily and not mess up all your hard work lacing them, loosen the laces from the top. Only loosen the top few laces at first. Check to see if your foot will fit and if it doesn’t, loosen up one or two more at the top. Cotton or polyester socks will make your feet smell to high heaven after you take off your boots. Wear wool socks or at least a wool blend. Steer clear of ones made entirely out of nylon, cotton or polyester. As your muscle flexes, it might allow you to push a tight boot all the way down. Remember to keep your laces snug at the bottom at least, so your boots don’t slip.

Summary: Lace underneath the bottom eyelet. Start lacing underneath the bottom eyelet. Criss-cross the laces. Loosen up the laces from the top down. Wear the correct sock material. Use your body weight.


If a $300 sweater has sleeves that hang past your hands, you're not going to look great in it. The best way to look great in any sweater is to find the brands that fit you best, then stick with them. Make sure the fabric fits close to your body without feeling restrictive. Aim on having the sleeves end at your wrists and the hem end at your waist.  Unfortunately, all manufacturers have different fits. It depends on the model they use when making the clothing. You might find that a sweater from a high-end designer fits you much more poorly than one from the general store around the corner. Larger manufacturers tend to make sweaters that fit as many people as possible. That means you often don't get a great fit. To get a better fit, consider going to higher-end department stores and trying on different brands. Sometimes you can purchase a sweater and get it altered to fit better. The work is difficult, so most tailors don't bother with it. If you really like a sweater, though, you might be able to find an expert tailor that can help. Bulky sweaters generally aren't a good choice when you're trying to look stylish. A big, puffy sweater doesn't pair well with most clothing. You end up needing bulkier pants in order to match it, which makes you look even bigger. For that reason, save your big sweaters for the most casual occasions, including times when you're out in the cold.  For example, a thick cable knit sweater is a fine choice when you're at home or when you're sitting around a campfire. It's not recommended for date night or office work. You can't really put a jacket over a bulky sweater since it makes you look like a ball of fabric. Thick sweaters are meant to be worn as is with little adornment. Put on a thick pair of jeans and some boots, then brave the cold. Fitted sweaters are far more versatile than bulkier sweaters and are a fashionable choice in most situations. Since these sweaters are thinner, they are a better choice for spring and autumn weather than harsh winters. However, there are a wide variety of fitted sweaters available, so you can always find something to customize into an outfit you're proud to wear in public. For instance, you might get a nice turtleneck to wear at semi-formal events. You could also put on a nice cardigan for a casual night out and then build upon it for a formal appointment.
Summary: Find a sweater that fits you comfortably without hanging off your body. Select a bulky sweater for warmth and outdoor use. Pick a fitted sweater when you need to look stylish.