Keep in mind that being real is a constantly evolving process. Life changes, and so will your values. You're not the same person at 30 years old as you were at 15. Over the years, you'll likely suffer from cognitive dissonance, a psychological term that refers to the stress or discomfort experienced when you hold contradictory beliefs or your beliefs and actions do not match, at some point(s). So you will constantly need to be learning about yourself, sorting through your beliefs and discarding what is no longer relevant and embracing what matters in the moment. Being real is a constant process of redefinition of yourself and who you want to be.  Maybe, for instance, when you were 13 years old, you wanted to be married and have children by 26 years old so you could be a young mom. However, if you're now 30 and neither married nor a parent, you may need to reevaluate that goal and belief. Maybe you decided that your education and career are your top priorities, or maybe you just didn't find the right partner. Or maybe your beliefs changed and you no longer believe in the institution of marriage. Reflecting on your life and your interior self (those thoughts and feelings from within) can help you redefine what it is you believe and your identity at different stages in your life. Note that it’s hard to be real at any age if you don't know what your fundamental desires, wants, needs, and values are! You have to be willing to realize that things change and, most importantly, that YOU change over time. Be open and expose yourself to new ideas and multiple perspectives on things. Binary (e.g., good-bad thinking) can trap you in a cycle of judgement and really limit to your ability to be your true self. Embrace life as a constant cycle of learning; as your opinions, ideas, and values change, so will your interior and real self.  Being open can mean different things. Read a book or take a class on a subject you don't know much about or even a subject you think you already have mastered. This can help you answer questions you have about the world around you and develop your own set of beliefs. For example, a lot of university students undergo a transformation in their self-identity as they learn and are exposed to new things and are separated from their parents really for the first time. Learning is one way to open your eyes and discover what resonates with you. Maybe you have questions about religion, so you decide to take a university class on the different religions. Maybe you want to know about your position as a woman in the world and so you take an introductory class on women's studies.  Remember that maintaining a sense of curiosity about the world is one way in which to keep yourself excited and energized about life. It can be comforting to assume that life - and by extension our own selves - stays the same over time. Although there may be elements of your identity (such as being creative or an extrovert) that are consistent across time, there's also a lot that changes and that can be scary and unsettling. For example, maybe as a child you were taught not to support gay marriage, but now you feel conflicted because you've changed your perceptions as you matured. That's okay. Change is good. Change can be transformative. Let go of your past self and embrace your new self. Embrace who you are in the moment and what feels right to you NOW. It's scary, but that how you become your most real self. Being real means being courageous. Sometimes you make yourself vulnerable to the criticism of others if you go your own way and don't conform to who everyone expects you to be. Moreover, being more introspective may cause other shifts in your life that you need to be prepared for. For example, perhaps in the process of self-reflection, you realize that you are not happy in your current relationship and that you spend much of your time trying to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend who does all the expected and correct things. It takes strength and courage to fight against social pressures and the reactions of others.  Remember that you are always deserving of love and acceptance. You are who you are and if people can't love you for that, then perhaps they're not the right fit for your life. Avoid shaming yourself. Becoming more self-aware means also realizing that you are an imperfect human and that you have flaws. But no one is perfect. Perhaps you are a control freak or bossy. Instead of shaming yourself, accept those imperfections and try to find ways to cope with and alleviate them. Also consider how those flaws can be thought of as positives in some situations; your control freak nature, for example, means that you are never late with assignments or meetings. Moreover, because you have flaws, this makes you better able to empathize when other people make errors. All of the different parts of yourself - flaws and all - make you who you are.
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One-sentence summary -- Redefine your values. Foster an open mind. Let your past self go. Cultivate courage.


Many flowers are available in multiple hues, so choose flowers that match or complement your wedding colors or theme. You may want to choose wild flowers, like sunflowers or daisies, if your wedding will be a casual affair, or exotic flowers, like orchids or hibiscus, if your wedding will be a formal event. Look at wedding and floral magazines as well as websites like Pinterest to get ideas about the size and type of bouquet you like best. Choosing seasonal flowers for your bouquet will save you money because they are more readily available than exotic varieties. Check your local supermarket to see what beautiful blooms they have in stock. You can also order your flowers online, if you want.  Spring and summer flowers include cherry blossoms, orchids, peonies, chrysanthemum, dahlia, and gardenias.  Autumn and winter flowers include Gerbera daisies, roses, sunflowers, alstroemeria, lilies, pansies, and carnations. You’ll need flowers with sturdy, long stems, such as roses, irises, carnations, alstroemeria, peonies, tulips, and freesia. Other great choices include calla lilies, Singapore orchids, ranunculus, sweet peas, gardenias, and lisianthus. A mixed bouquet looks best when there are three or four varieties of flowers plus foliage. Adding greenery to your bouquet gives it a well-rounded, natural look. Select one kind of foliage, or pick a few to give your bouquet more variety. Suitable foliage includes camellia leaves, eucalyptus gum, box, ivy, nandina, and leather fern. You can also use Queen Anne’s Lace, cress, wheat, scented geraniums, Bells of Ireland, flax, and basil.
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One-sentence summary --
Choose flowers that tie into your theme or wedding colors. Select seasonal flowers. Choose flowers with long stems. Pick your foliage.