Don't say, "Well, I've run out of questions for you" or "I guess that's it..." This will make things feel awkward and like you couldn't hold up a stimulating conversation. Instead, say, "We've covered quite a bit in this conversation. Before we wrap up, is there anything else you'd like to chat about?" This makes the person feel like you were in the conversation together, instead of just in a question-and-answer situation. You should sincerely thank the person for taking the time to chat with you and for being so patient and answering your questions. Make sure your words and body language indicate that you really mean it and are truly grateful for the person's time and efforts. Don't become withdrawn the second the interview is over. Instead, continue to be warm and welcoming even after you've put your recorder or notebook away. You can also send the person a thank-you card or email depending on your relationship with the person. This will make the person feel that his efforts were truly appreciated.

Summary: Wrap up the interview professionally. Thank the person. Follow up with a thank-you note (optional).


The word “divorce” can feel very heavy, especially in a dating situation. You can think to yourself, why is he divorced? Is he a cheater? A con-artist? Abusive? A master manipulator?  Refrain from painting your date as a villain in your head. Remember that marriage is a natural next step in adult relationships and that a divorce is a break up. Sometimes the reason for divorce is a lot less dramatic. Don’t make his ex-wife a villain either. Again, people get divorced for simple reasons like falling out of love or just realizing they aren’t as compatible as they once thought. Give her the benefit of the doubt by not judging the relationship because the truth has three sides – his version, her version, and the actual truth. Anyone who has been through the relationship wringer will have baggage. A man who is divorced has more baggage than a man who never married does.  He might have baggage if he has finances that might stem from his previous marriage (spousal support, child support), potential trust issues, potential children from that marriage, etc.  Know what you’re walking into and be accepting of that baggage, but also welcome the trade-off of maturity and less head games. Depending on how long ago the divorce happened and how he heals, pacing might be automatic on your guy’s end.  Don’t be in a rush to leave a toothbrush at his place or to say “I love you.” Take the relationship day by day. Be wary of divorced guys who jump right into a new relationship with you after their divorce has ended. You don’t want to be rebound girl. While he says he’s ready, notice whether his actions and his words match what readiness looks like to you.  Does he know what he wants? Does he say he’s single? Does he bad mouth his ex? Is he happy and successful at being single?  Does he have effective dating skills? He should be able to maintain emotional and physical boundaries and disengaging from things that do not match that. Does he have effective relationship skills? He should be comfortable communicating assertively and authentically, maintaining intimacy and closeness, giving and receiving love freely, and being vulnerable. Find out for certain that your fiancé has worked through his feelings about the previous marriage before he makes a commitment to you. This can include addressing any grief, self-doubt or other negative feelings that came about from the divorce.  Discuss what things about the previous marriage he liked. Talk about similarities between your relationship and the past one, but don't mold yourself into something that you are not. Be open about what made the previous marriage fail so that you can work around the issue or avoid making the same mistakes as were made in the previous relationship. Being married once before probably hasn’t killed your chances of reaching the next level in your relationship, but it does mean that he may be hesitant getting married a second time.  Bear in mind that his reluctance to get engaged or married again so quickly is not a reflection of his feelings about you. Establish a timeframe for the progression of your relationship. Give him a year, two years, or 3. Do what works for you. If marriage is important to you, have a timeframe that supports your self-respect. If he proposes by then, you got what you wanted, but if he doesn’t propose, don’t wait years for him to make his move. Don’t sacrifice your needs to appease to your partner’s.

Summary: Date him without the negative connotations of divorce in mind. Accept that he has baggage. Pace the relationship and go slowly. Notice whether his words match his actions. Speak openly and honestly with your potential mate about questions that you might have. Be patient.


Except in some hot climates, pepper seeds won’t grow properly if you plant them directly into the garden soil. They need to grow for a while indoors in a controlled environment.  The timeline of this varies, because the end of winter can be tricky to predict. Expect to start the seeds around the end of January or the beginning of February. If your area has especially mild winters, or you live in a warm climate, you have more freedom when it comes to when you must start the plants. Fold 2 paper towels separately into small squares. Wet the paper towels with room temperature water. Place the seed on 1 paper towel and lay the other towel on top of that. Grab a zipper bag and slide the wet towels with the seed into it. Store the bag inside at a temperature around 70 to 80 °F (21 to 27 °C), and the seeds should sprout in about 1 week’s time.  This provides an incubator-like environment for the seed to start growing. If your house is not quite warm enough, consider keeping a heat lamp on the seed bag. Keep the soil consistently moist but not over saturated. Use a seedling mat to keep the soil warm and encourage faster germination and growth. Transplant the peppers into a larger pot or outdoors when your pepper is at least 6 to 8 inches (15 to 20 cm) tall. If you started the seeds in a paper towel, you can transfer the seed to a pot with good drainage when they have sprouted. Put the seedling about 1⁄8 to 1⁄4 inch (3.2 to 6.4 mm) under the soil. Use organic soil, or soil that’s meant for seed-starting. Also make sure the bottom of the pot has drainage holes. Keep the plant in the pot until it grows about 8 to 12 inches (20 to 30 cm) tall. Peppers soak up a lot of water, but they don’t like soaking wet soil. Check the soil daily to make sure that it’s moist. If the top of the soil has crusted over, the plant needs water. Water it lightly and check it again later to see how moist the soil is. A soil moisture meter is a great help in keeping the soil moisture regulated. Continue to nurture the baby pepper plant until it reaches late spring or summer in your area. Peppers only grow in warm weather, so if there is a chance of cold or frost, keep it inside a little longer. When it seems like spring and it’s been two weeks since the last frost, it’s probably safe to move the plants outside.
Summary: Begin the process 8-10 weeks before the final frost of the season. Start the seeds with wet paper towels and a zipper bag. Place seeds directly into 2 or 4 in (5.1 or 10.2 cm) pots as an alternative. Plant the sprout in a 4 in (10 cm) pot if you used the bag method. Water the plant as needed. Keep the plant indoors until you are sure the winter is over.