Problem: Article: Your patterns of thought may be making you to believe things about your cousin that are your own ideas and not truly who they are. These thoughts can be dangerous for your relationship because they will make you more bitter and angry with your cousin. Once you start to notice yourself dwelling on all of the things that your cousin does that you don't like, do something to distract yourself.  Listen to music, read something, talk to someone or do something. Making assumptions about someone elses reasons for doing something is dangerous. It is easy to think that you know what is going on because you are very familiar with that person. However, you may still need more information to understand a situation.  For example, you might think "I know he is being loud just to get on my nerves". But, there may be something else going on with them. Maybe they are being loud while they play video games because they had a bad day at school. The next time you find yourself assuming tat you know why your cousin is doing something, ask them about it instead. Say "Why do you say that?" Get to know your cousin better. The more that you know about your cousin the more you will be able to be sympathetic to the things that they do.   Ask them open ended questions. Ask them why they love the things that they do, or ask them about their relationships. Listen closely and do not interrupt. Show them that you are listening by nodding along, making noises, and keeping eye contact with them Ask good follow up questions. Show that you were listening and ask them more questions related to the topic they were talking about. Bring in the other information that you know about your cousin. You can say something you know about another friend, say  "So does your new friendship with Maria make your best friend Anna feel left out? Little cousins especially want to be a part of what you are doing. Most of them, even if they do not look like it, are curious about your world. Let them in on it. Take them to a baseball game, go somewhere you like to eat, or go on a walk in a part of town you are familiar with.  Tell your cousin stories about your life. They like to hear about what is going on with you, too. Laugh with your cousin. Make fun of each other or laugh at the things that happen to you. Having a sense of humor can help diffuse the situation in the future when you are getting on each others nerves.
Summary: Break your negative patterns of thought about your cousin. Do not make assumptions about why your cousin does certain things. Have real conversations with your cousin. Share the things you love with your cousin.

INPUT ARTICLE: Article: Make a fist with your left hand and push your knuckles into the right side of your stomach using gentle pressure. Then, roll your hand up toward your chest, across your abdomen, and then down the left side of your stomach.  This type of massage helps relax your abdominal muscles and stimulate activity in your bowels. Be sure not to use too much pressure when massaging your stomach, as this may cause even more discomfort than you started out with. Wrap the heat pack in a towel so that you don’t apply it directly to your skin. Placing a heat pack against bare skin can cause numbness and even minor injury.  Note that while applying a heat pack will help relieve your gas pain, it may also increase any swelling you’re experiencing after your surgery. You can apply a heat pack as often as necessary to stimulate your abdominal muscles. However, avoid applying heat for more than 20 minutes at a time and give yourself a break of at least 20 minutes between applications to allow your body to cool back down. Your healthcare provider may want you to take a particular prescription pain reliever, especially if you have post-surgery pain in your shoulders. Avoid taking any pain medications that your doctor doesn’t prescribe, as some pain relievers may cause additional constipation.  Some pain medications also cause nausea. If you experience any nausea, tell your doctor at once and see if you can be switched over to a different medication. To avoid potential constipation caused by medication, make sure you drink plenty of fluids and eat fiber-rich fruits and vegetables. Keep in mind that some pain medications can also worsen gas and increase the time it takes for your bowel habits to get back to normal. Stick to clothes that don’t have an elastic waistband for the first 1-2 weeks after surgery or until you no longer experience constipation and gas discomfort. If possible, wear clothes that are slightly larger than what you normally wear so that they don’t feel tight around your abdomen. Clothes like pullover dresses and pajamas are ideal for the first couple of weeks after surgery.

SUMMARY: Massage or rub your stomach to help get rid of gas discomfort. Apply a heat pack to your abdomen for 15 minutes to ease gas pain. Take pain medication as prescribed by your doctor. Wear loose, comfortable clothing that won’t push on your abdomen.

In one sentence, describe what the following article is about: In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to lose your cool and blurt out the first thing that pops into your head. But words really can hurt, and you don’t want to say anything that might make the fight worse or permanently damage the relationship. Force yourself to slow down and choose your words carefully.  Before you say something, ask yourself if you really mean it and if it’s really necessary to say it. For example, you may find yourself wanting to say, “You’re a terrible friend!” Do you really think that? Will saying it help resolve your fight? If the answer to either of those questions is “no,” don’t say it! Try mentally rephrasing what you want to say before you say it so you focus on their behavior. For example, instead of “You’re a terrible friend,” say, “I feel really frustrated with the way you’ve been acting lately.” This shows your friend you're concerned about how they're behaving but doesn't attack your friend. Staying calm during a fight is easier said than done. But if you can manage it, it will go a long way toward keeping the fight from escalating and getting out of hand. Take a few deep breaths or count to 10 in your head if you feel like you’re losing your cool.  You can also try grounding yourself by focusing on things in your environment. For example, take a second to spot 5 blue things in the room, or focus on the physical sensations inside and outside your body. If you have to, walk out of the room for a few minutes and come back when you feel calmer. You could even say to your friend, “I’m feeling really upset. I need a minute to myself.” If your friend feels like you are blaming or labeling them, they will probably react defensively. Using language that focuses on you and your feelings will help you feel more in control of your reactions, and will also feel less hostile to your friend. For example: Instead of saying, “You’re always standing me up! You’re unreliable!” say “I feel really disappointed and upset when we make plans and then you don’t show up. I have a hard time feeling like I can rely on you.” Your best friend probably knows how to get under your skin better than anyone, and you can probably give back just as good as you get. Don’t give in to the temptation to belittle your friend or call them names. Even if they’re not fighting fair, taking the high road and being the bigger person will help you feel better and may help your friend calm down, as well.  Never insult or threaten your friend during a fight. Even if you’re really mad at your friend about something, try to focus on their negative behaviors rather than who they are as a person. Try to be respectful of your friend by not interrupting them or shouting them down when they’re trying to speak. Avoid exaggerations and absolutes, such as “You never listen to me!” Not all fights are going to be resolved in a single argument. If things are getting out of hand and you just aren’t making any headway, it might be time to walk away from each other for a while—even if it’s for a few days or a few weeks. Try again when you’ve both had a chance to cool down. You might say to your friend, “Fighting like this isn’t getting us anywhere. Let’s take a break and talk about this later.”
Summary:
Think before you speak. Try to stay calm. Use “I” language. Keep it civil. Take a time out for a bit, if you have to.