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Own your anger. Tell your mom you need some time. Think about why you are mad at your mom. Remind yourself of all the things your mom does for you. Write it down.
Acknowledge to yourself that you are angry. You should do this alone before you try to confront your mom about your feelings. This will help you begin to see things more rationally. If your mom has noticed that you seem upset, but you don’t feel ready to talk yet, tell her that. Explain that you are angry about something that happened, but you need a bit of time to go over it in your head, and that you would like a bit of space until you are ready to talk. Understand that your mom may become very worried when you say this, especially if you she doesn’t realize that she has made you mad. Try to reassure her that everything will be fine, and that you only need a bit of space. What exactly did your mom do or say that made you feel angry? Taking the time to reflect on what she did to anger you will help you to explain to her what happened that upset you. Remember that anger is a secondary emotion. This means that when we feel anger, we are likely protecting ourselves from a more vulnerable, primary emotion such as fear, sadness, or anxiety. Think about how what your mom said or did really made you feel? Did it make you fear that you will always have to work very hard for her approval? That is actually fear that you were feeling. It is easy to get angry with loved ones, especially someone like your mom, because you know she won’t leave you no matter how many time you fight. When you get mad, try to take a second and remember all the things she does for you. Without her, you probably wouldn’t exist, you wouldn’t have food to eat, or a place to live. Think about a time where she really went out of her way to make you happy. Maybe she threw you a nice birthday party, or took you and your friends out for ice cream. Remember that she did those things only to see you happy. Writing down everything you are feeling (whether you are upset or not) can be a really great way to let off some steam. This is especially true if you feel that you are very upset, and can’t yet talk to anyone without losing your temper. If you are upset, write down what happened on a piece of paper. You don’t have to do anything with this paper, just write it down and then throw it away if you want to.  This will also give you an outlet if what you really want to do is say something mean to your mom. If this is the case, write down all of the mean things you want to say, then tear it up and throw it away. This may help keep you from saying something that will really hurt your mom. Remember to tear up the paper into unreadable bits though! You don’t want your mom to find it, as she might feel really hurt by what you’ve written.