Every morning, take a shower. Wash your hair, brush it out, and keep it styled the way you like. Put on deodorant. Even if you’re already friends with the boy you desire, poor hygiene will hurt your chances by showing him you don’t care about yourself. A little makeup, perfume, or cologne can help. If you choose to use these, put on just enough to accentuate your features, such as a suitable lipstick and eyeliner. Don’t let makeup appear thick or perfume smell overwhelming. When you know you’ll be around him, dress to impress. Pick out your best clothes or buy some that fit your figure. The clothes you wear should not be tight, but they should fit you well. Good clothing also helps increase your confidence, which makes you appear more desirable to him. Even after you start spending time with him, make yourself look presentable as much as possible. Wearing stained sweatpants is easy but it shows you aren’t trying to look good for him. Practice walking around your room. Keep your head up and your back straight. Take small steps, neither too fast nor too slow. When you sit, maintain your posture, never slouching or hunching. Also, don’t cross your arms, or else you’ll appear closed off. Once you can do all of this in your room, go ahead and try to maintain good posture in public. Practice speaking out loud at home and to a mirror. Your voice should be loud and clear. Eliminate unnecessary pauses, as these will make you sound timid or uncertain. Know what you want to say and say it.  If you speak too fast, slow down. Add breaths between sentences and give time for others to listen and speak. Once you feel comfortable at home, try speaking confidently to friends and strangers.  Add in humor to emphasize your confidence. Don’t overdo it, but every once in awhile it’s okay to joke with the boy or someone else around you. Start out by speaking into a mirror, then move on to practicing this on friends, acquaintances, and strangers. Approaching someone is difficult, but it’s even more intimidating when you’re interested romantically. Start out by asking for or offering help, commenting on a shared experience such as a school class, by complementing, or by making an observation, such as about what the person’s eating for lunch. Examples include “I found that class really difficult. What did you think of it?” or “I see you like the sandwiches here. I’m not much of a turkey type.”.  As you get him to become more comfortable with you, progress the conversation. Learn more about him, such as his interests. Return the trust, but don’t go overboard. If you already know him, you’ll have some familiarity with him, but you’ll still need to talk and build more of a connection. By talking to him, you should be able to find out what he likes. Now connect the two of you by finding activities you can share. If you both like bowling, for instance, you’ll be able to talk about bowling and then go bowl. Don’t think of this as a date. Instead, focus on having fun together.  Being willing to try the things he likes is a good idea, but pretending to share his interests makes you look false and like you have less individuality. Go out as friends. You need to create moments that help you grow closer, which won’t happen if you come on too strong or overanalyze your interactions. Even if hiding your personality seems to be working, it’ll hurt you in the end. At some point you’ll have to show him who you are in order to work towards a relationship. Now is the best time to reveal yourself and judge whether he will get along with you. If you like pop music, clothes, romantic comedies, and video games, for example, allow this to come out naturally. Don’t hide your true self. Physical contact is a great way to make him associate the pleasant feeling of touch with you. Choose opportune times, but let your contact appear unintentional. When talking to him, touch his hand or wrist. Stand close to him in crowds. Brush against his shoulders while passing. When you’re first starting out with him, keep touch brief and not too intimate. You want to build his interest and coming on strong can make your affections seem less valuable in the long run. At opportune times, lock onto his eyes. Eye contact is difficult since it will often make you feel vulnerable, but it is powerful. At a party, pick him out of the room and meet his eyes for at least a moment. When you’re talking or doing something fun, meet his eyes and linger for a moment. The eye contact in these moments should feel intense. If it doesn’t, that’s a sign that you still have to work at getting closer to him.
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One-sentence summary -- Clean yourself. Dress well. Correct your posture. Speak with confidence. Start conversations. Find common interests. Be yourself. Gently touch him. Make eye contact.


Bullies, whether at school, work, or the playground, can make you feel like crying. Fortunately, there are people you can turn to for help if you're being bullied. These are all signs of bullying:  Someone uses his or her power over you to control or hurt you. For example, a much larger kid at school pushes you around, or someone uses personal information about you to get you to do things you don't want to do. A bully might also isolate you from friends or keep you from getting to do things at school. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or social. Physical bullying includes things like hitting, pushing, and tripping. Verbal bullying includes things like teasing and name-calling. Social bullying includes things like leaving you out of things, telling other kids not to be friends with you, and intentionally embarrassing you.  If these things happen to you on a regular basis, you may be being bullied. Talk to a trusted parent, teacher, or counselor for help. Don't try to confront the bully yourself; you could put yourself in danger. Even your "friends" can bully you. Good friends will be kind and supportive. Teasing will be playful, not malicious, and real friends will stop teasing if you ask them to. If you generally feel bad when hanging out with your friends, it may be a sign that they aren't really your friends. Sometimes, your surface emotions are covering up something much deeper. Push to see if some other emotion is below, and what is causing that emotion. Maybe you're crying at school when someone criticizes you, but what's really bothering you is something to do with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you can figure out what's really bothering you, you can take steps to improve the situation, such as having a serious discussion with the person. Being stressed can cause you to feel more emotions and act out on them more. For instance, you may find yourself feeling more anxious or irritable, and you may find yourself crying more often.  You might also be more anxious in general and find yourself getting angry at people more easily.  You could also have physical symptoms, such as not being able to sleep well, having headaches, feeling extra tired, and being more susceptible to sickness. If you're a woman, your tears could be related to your menstrual cycle. Some women experience premenstrual syndrome, which can start a week or two before your period. It's most likely related to hormones. This syndrome can cause you to feel emotionally unbalanced while it is going on, including inducing more tears. Uncontrollable emotions, especially if they are constant, could be a sign of something a little more serious. For instance, it's possible you could be clinically depressed or have an anxiety disorder. If you feel like you cry too much and you have other symptoms for long periods of time, talk to a doctor about it. Symptoms that could be more serious include pervasive anxiety, constantly feeling afraid or like something bad is going to happen, feeling detached from life, feeling continually sad, or always feeling bad about yourself.
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One-sentence summary --
Determine whether you are being bullied. Push deeper. Look for signs of stress. Pay attention to your cycle. Watch for deeper causes.