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In other words, do the things you want your children to do.  If you direct your children to be on time for appointments or be at home at a certain time, you should also arrive when you say you are going to.  If you don’t want your child to use foul language, don’t curse.  If you want your children to tell the truth, don’t lie to them or others.  Even if you advise your children to do the right thing, they will not admire you if you are hypocritical. .   Children will not admire an inflexible tyrant.  Including your child in discussions which affect them will gain their admiration and help them develop a sense of personal autonomy and agency.  You can include your child in both small and large decisions.  For instance, a few nights a week you could ask your child what he or she wants for dinner.  (Naturally, if they answer something unacceptable like ice cream, you should tell them that is not an option.) Including your child in family decisions doesn’t mean relinquishing all responsibility for those decisions.  You’re still the parent and ultimately, authority still rests with you. Go for walks, go to the movies, and go to get ice cream together.  Enjoy the time you spend with them.  Tell your child regularly that you love them.  When they come home after school, ask “How was your day?”  Ask about their dreams, ideas, and feelings.  For instance, your child says, “I want to be a dancer when I grow up,” you could ask, “Why do you want to be a dancer?”  Listen to their answers and don’t belittle what they have to say.  If you need more information, ask follow-up questions. Take time to seriously answer any questions your child asks. Show your child know that you will always be there for them.  If they need help with homework or if they are sick, take time out of your schedule to care for them. Recognize that nobody is perfect.  If you make a mistake, you should acknowledge that you did so and apologize for hurting anyone’s feelings.  Find ways to amend the situation and think about what you can do next time to prevent a similar situation from occurring.  Use these situations to illustrate to your child how to admit when you’re wrong and ask for forgiveness.  For instance, if you mistook your child’s drawing a of a bird for a butterfly, your child might feel distraught.  Admit that you made a mistake by identifying it wrongly and reassure them that it is a great drawing.  Say, “I’m sorry, can you forgive me?” When your children make mistakes, you should always expect them to acknowledge the mistake.  Your child should apologize and correct the situation as needed.  For instance, if they spilled milk on the floor while you were out of the room, ensure that they admit to doing so and then help you clean it up (assuming they are of an appropriate age to do so). Tell your child you love them even when they make mistakes. If you always have something interesting to teach or explain to your child, they will be much impressed and admire you for your depth of knowledge.  Having a well-rounded education will not only equip you for a richer life, but it will also demonstrate to your child that education should be an important part of their life, as well.  If you did not graduate high school, consider getting your GED. If you did graduate high school, consider going to college.  You could get a two-year associate’s degree or a four-year bachelor’s degree. You don’t need a college education to be well-educated or interested in learning, though it does help.  Keep up with current events by reading the newspaper regularly.  Visit your local library to check out some books.  Read a mix of both fiction and nonfiction.  Watch documentaries as well as feature films. Expand your mind by diving deeper into topics you know little about.  By challenging yourself, you will be able to think about things in a different way. By taking your child to local art museums, you can learn together. If you lose your job, fall ill, or suffer another misfortune, do not mope about it.  Instead, take proactive action to correct the situation.  For instance, if you lose your job, seek new work in the classifieds of your local paper or online.  Use labor networking sites like LinkedIn and Monster.com to make your resume available for potential employers and browse available jobs.  Develop patience and control your anger when you feel it rising within you. Do not take your frustration about a difficult situation out on your child or anyone else.  Find positive ways to deal with your frustration through deep breathing, yoga, mediation, or engaging yourself with a fun hobby. While it is natural to feel depressed when confronted with loss of a family member or other hardship, stay strong and positive for your child.  Talk to a trained therapist if your feelings persist.
Practice what you preach. Be inclusive when making family decisions. Be a friend to your child. Be forgiving and ask for forgiveness. Develop an interest in education and learning. Persevere in the face of adversity.