Q: Certain delivery issues that require a C-section, such as a baby being breech or in fetal distress, aren't likely to happen again in a second birth. If you needed a C-section during your first birth because of one of these issues, a VBAC may be an option for you.  On the other hand, other delivery issues, such as arrest of labor or a ruptured uterus, are likely to happen again. In that case, it may be a good idea to avoid trying a VBAC.  Arrest of labor is a condition where labor will not progress because the baby gets stuck. Having a previous successful vaginal birth makes it more likely to have another one. Therefore, your doctor is more likely to go through with a VBAC if you've already had a vaginal birth. Make sure your doctor knows you've had a successful vaginal birth previously if they don't already. This type of incision reduces the risk of your uterus rupturing when giving birth after a C-section. This incision is more common today, but the traditional method was a vertical cut. The vertical cut makes it more likely that your uterus will rupture.  While a ruptured uterus is rare, it can result in complications like infection for you and brain damage for your child. Your uterus may also need to be removed.  Usually, a doctor will only recommend a VBAC if you have had 1 or 2 previous C-sections, not more. A vaginal birth usually means you recover faster than when you have a C-section. You'll be back on your feet more quickly and better able to care for your new baby. It may also help reduce the financial burden on your family, as you can return to work more quickly. Having multiple C-sections can be risky, so if you're planning to have another baby after this one, a VBAC may be a good option for you. That way, you can have multiple vaginal births instead of multiple C-sections, which is generally safer. In fact, having a VBAC can be safer than having repeated C-sections. A previous uterine rupture makes you susceptible to another rupture. For that reason, most doctors will not allow a VBAC in these cases. A uterine rupture puts you at higher risk for infection. You may also need to have your uterus removed. Make sure your doctor knows you've had a uterine rupture if you haven't already told them.
A: Ask about a VBAC if your delivery issue isn't likely to recur. Request a VBAC if you've had a vaginal birth at any time in the past. Ask for a VBAC if you had a low transverse uterine incision. Discuss a VBAC if you want a shorter recovery time. Consider a VBAC if you want to have more babies. Avoid a VBAC if you had a uterine rupture.

Q: People often talk about having a “feeling” or “gut instinct.” It is hard to define. Think about it as a way of knowing that takes into account different things than your normal, rational thinking. The heart may be based on thing things like the past (your experiences), personal needs (how you feel), and the present (other people around you, choices, etc.). All of this can lead to a different calculation than reasoning alone.  Try to tell distinguish what comes from your heart. Did a thought just pop into your head, for example? Reason usually relies on analysis – step by step thought: i.e., “Well, if I don’t do X, Y will happen. Therefore I should do X.” The heart does not always follow this pattern. What about that “feeling”? Sometimes intuition comes to us as vague sense. It’s hard to describe. It’s hard to even know what the feeling means. You may feel uncertain about changing jobs and not know why, for example. Outwardly, everything about the new job is great, but you still feel a nagging sense that something will go wrong. This is intuition. Your inner voice may not always be clear, but it’s trying to tell you something. Learn how to listen to it. To start, you’ll need to temporarily drown out our rational thought processes and focus on the voice. There are some ways that you can do this.  Keep a journal. Writing your thoughts on paper may help open up the unconscious mind. Write what comes to you; be spontaneous. Begin sentences with phrases like, “I have a feeling that...” or “My heart tells me that...” The point is to follow emotional responses rather than rational ones. Temporarily drown out your inner critic. It may take some effort, but be watchful over your rational processes. Listening to the heart is hard because we try to rationalize it away. Allow yourself to write or think without letting in the doubting voice that says, “This is silly.”  Find a quiet place. One of the best things for opening your heart is quiet contemplation. This could be meditation. Or, it could just be taking a walk by yourself in a park or woods. Find a place where you can let your thoughts and emotions flow freely. Intuition is only one way of knowing. But it is not necessarily better than your sense of reason or the best way to make decisions. While you should try to listen to your heart, don’t trust it automatically. Sometimes it’s wrong.   Say that you are on a jury. The accused insists very persuasively that he is innocent – he stirs your confidence. However, all the physical evidence says that he committed the crime. Do you listen to your reason or your intuition? In this case, your intuition is probably false. Think too about the possible consequences of relying only on the heart. Would you bet your life savings on a gut instinct, for instance? Say that your financial planner advises you to invest in secure mutual funds, but you have a really good feeling about an up-and-coming company called Enron. It is probably better to listen to the rational advice of an expert than to trust your instinct.
A: Learn to discern your heart from your rational mind. Listen to your heart. Don’t overrate the heart.

Q: Those who are abuse victims often continue the cycle by abusing others. Their behavior likely has little to do with you and is mostly caused by their past. They may not know any other way than what they are doing. Suggest that the person abusing you seek professional help. You likely know how helpful talking to someone can be, as you may do it yourself because of your depression. Therapy may help this person heal from their past and stop the abuse. People who feel overlooked or weak in certain areas of their lives may feel the need to seek power and control in others. The feelings that are created during the abuse may give this person the ego boost they need in order to handle feeling unrecognized in other aspects of their life. For example, if the abuser is talked down to by their friends, never gets a promotion at work, or is treated poorly by their family, they may look to you as their source of power. Abusing and having control over you may be compensation for not receiving the treatment they feel they deserve. You likely understand how having poor mental health can take complete control over your life, as a person with mental illness yourself. Someone who has a mental illness may not realize that what they are doing is inappropriate or may not be able to handle their emotions. By no means does this mean what they are doing is right, but it may not be something they can help. Those with anger management issues are often unable to control their explosive emotions and can take it out on others in the form of abuse. Additionally, people who have drug or alcohol problems may resort to abuse because they aren’t capable of handling how they feel. Abusers are often insecure. They may feel jealous of the person they abuse and exhibit the horrible behavior to make that person feel just as bad as they do. They may also do it because they feel it’s the only way to keep the person near them.  For instance, in domestic relationships, the abuser may feel so badly about themselves they fear their partner is going to leave them. They exhibit mental and emotional abuse as a way to control the partner and ultimately stop them from seeing other people and potentially leaving them. Try having friends and family who witness the abuse mention to the abuser that what they are doing is not okay. This will help to make them more aware of how they are behaving.
A:
Find out if abuser was a victim of abuse. Determine if they crave power. Take note of any mental illness the abuser might have. Examine the abuser’s self-esteem.