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Use your phone’s settings to help you avoid contact with your ex. For example, you can change your ex’s name in your address book to “DO NOT ANSWER” to remind you what you must do. Some phones or services will also allow you to block a particular number entirely. If you must talk to your ex, keep the communication brief but friendly. Never flirt, however tempting it may seem. If you start to repeat old arguments or bad patterns, end the conversation immediately: say, “I’m sorry, this conversation isn’t going well. I need to end it.” Working together closely in class, being assigned to the same project, or getting put at the same work table could derail your effort to avoid your ex. You may need to ask others at school or work for help to avoid these situations. For example, you might explain to a teacher that you would prefer not to do a group project with your ex. Or, you could ask your guidance counselor for help in arranging your schedule so that you are not in class with your ex. If you don’t run into your ex, you won’t accidentally start speaking with him. And you won’t see him flirting with someone else, either.  If you are in school together, use your knowledge of his schedule to avoid crossing paths in the hallway or by the lockers. Avoid visiting his workplace. For example, if he works for a café, get your hot drinks somewhere else now. Don’t go to his favorite hangouts or to his events. If your ex plays basketball, don’t go to those games. If he always took you bowling, don’t go bowling for a while. Don’t keep socializing with your ex just because you have mutual friends.  Respect that your friends might want to remain friends with both of you. While it can be tempting to try to convince everyone to side with you, it’s not healthy. It may be helpful to talk through different scenarios with your friends. For example, you might say: “I don’t feel comfortable continuing our movie nights as a small group right now. But, if you throw a big party, it’s ok to invite both of us.” Recognize that your needs will change over time. Keep your friends up to date: if it’s ok to invite you both to a dinner party now, say so. Leave his friends to him. Just as you need the support of your friends and family as you navigate the break-up, so does your ex. Let your ex rely on his own network of friends and family.
Don’t call or text. Keep any contact short and sweet. Ask teachers, bosses, or coworkers for help in limiting your exposure to your ex. Plan your schedule to avoid awkward encounters. Keep in contact with mutual friends, but make your boundaries clear.