Write an article based on this "Release the fart slowly. Cough loudly or make a loud noise. Walk as you fart. Leave the room or area. Spray air freshener."
Rather than release the fart quickly, which will likely cause a loud fart noise, take your time and release the fart slowly. Do this by squeezing your abdominal muscles and taking long inhales and exhales as you release the fart. Releasing the fart slowly should cut down on the noise it makes as it comes out of your butt. Or spread your buttcheeks as far as you can from each other to make a smooth, wavy fart that can sometimes have no scent at all. You can distract from your fart by coughing loudly or sneezing as you fart. This can help to cover up the noise as you fart. You could also make a loud noise by pretending to talk on your cell phone or turning up the music in the room before you release the gas. This could muffle the noise that inevitably comes with farting. Another option is to fart while you are on the move so that the sound and smell do not linger in your general vicinity. Doing this will allow you to be absent when someone smells the fart or hears it and not have to assume any guilt when the smell of your fart is discovered. Try to walk towards an empty room or area so that you can finish farting when no one else is around you. That way, you will not need to feel embarrassed about releasing uncomfortable gas. Before you fart, get up and try to vacate the area so you are not in a crowd or around a lot of people. That way, you can go into another room or area and fart to your heart's content. If you are on a crowded train, for example, try to get over to an empty car before you release gas. If you are in a busy office, head to an empty meeting room or common area and fart there so no one can be offended by the sound or smell. You can mask the smell of your farts by spraying air freshener in the area or by using the scent of hand cream to ward off the smell. Rub scented hand cream on your hands after you have farted so the scent overpowers any stinky smells that may be lingering in the air.