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If you want to enjoy heartfelt, philosophical talks with the people around you, you’ve got to be willing to strike out. If you’re afraid to risk starting a conversation with the wrong person at the wrong time or about the wrong topic, then you might not find the person with whom you have crazy chemistry. Anticipate that, sometimes, people will be uninterested in your conversation starters. Sometimes, they won’t. If you come across someone who is lackluster, simply move along to the next best candidate. Remember, nothing ventured, nothing gained. Self-disclosure shows vulnerability and opens the door to a deeper conversation. When you share a personal story with someone, you put yourself out there in a courageous way. Hopefully, the person will follow suit and be receptive to your sharing. Keep in mind that you should use discretion when sharing personal stories. For example, you might not feel bothered about sharing the story of your adoption with a casual acquaintance, but you may not want to discuss a romantic relationship. Share what you feel comfortable sharing and make sure that your disclosure is appropriate for the level of relationship you have with the other person. If it’s an appropriate time for you to share or respond, do so honestly and sincerely. You don’t have to pretend you agree, if you don’t. In fact, you may not have that deep of a conversation if you and the other person share the exact same views on every topic. Don’t be afraid to disagree, as long as you’re not doing it offensively. The conversation can grow deeper when you have varying opinions that you are able to share respectfully and without trying to make the other person agree with your perspective.
Be ready to take a risk. Share personal stories. Respond genuinely.