Q: You are the keeper of your own mind.  Don't let one person's opinion get you down. It's just one person saying something silly! Say to yourself: "I'm confident."  It's hard work, but changing the voices in your head is a big step in feeling good. Think about what you think. Try to purposefully change the train of thought so you don't validate the attacker's ideas. Practice reciting positive statements like "I am successful" or "I am happy." Tell yourself you are ok how you are! Tell the attacker he or she is being rude. Sometimes keeping it straight is the best approach. Some people make comments without realizing how inappropriate hey are. An objective comment on the person's hurtful words might even open the other person's eyes. You will feel like the better person when you stand up for yourself. For example, you may want to say "That wasn't a very nice thing to say." It doesn't take a lot to come up with nasty words. Just remember you are being the mature person. Stand tall. Adults shouldn't be making insults to their friends, family or co-workers.
A: Control your thoughts and self-talk. Share your confidence (even if it's not there yet). Remember your attacker is intellectually inferior to you because they had to resort to rude insults.

Q: There are a couple of different ways to write and deliver jokes including the traditional set up and punchline, one-liners, or short stories.   One liners can be an extremely effective format. Comedian BJ Novak made the simple and effective, if tasteless, one-liner: “Battered women: sounds delicious.” Novak's joke plays on two elements you can incorporate into your material: surprise and twisting word meanings. It's also a traditional set up and punchline type of joke. Jokes as a short story are another effective method. However, remember to keep them short! A good example of a joke wrapped in a short story is: “There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed a desire to become a "great" writer. When asked to define "great" he said "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.” Every joke, no matter what structure you use, has a set up and a punchline. The set up and punchline will sometimes contain elements of surprise based on assumptions, twisting words, or playing on ironies.   Remember "less is more." As you prepare your set up and punchline, remember that you will want to tell your joke in as few words as possible. Avoid unnecessary details and phrases. BJ Novak's joke “Battered women: sounds delicious” and the joke “What did the cake say to the knife? You wanna piece of me?” are examples of jokes that demonstrate the “less is more” strategy. Any other details would have caused the jokes to fall flat.  Your set up should be one or two lines, or a few lines for a story. It prepares your audience by creating an expectation and giving them the details they need to understand the punchline. The joke about the dead cactus is a good example of this. The comedian sets up the joke with the lines “I bought a cactus. A week later it died.”  The punchline is the “funny” part of your joke that will make people laugh. It builds on the set up and is only one word or one sentence. It often reveals the surprise, irony, or word play to your audience. Again, the dead cactus joke is a good example of a short and funny punchline. After setting up the audience with the details of his plant cactus, the comedian tells us: And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.” .” Elements such as familiarity, exaggeration, and irony will enhance your joke. A good example of exaggeration and irony is the story about the young man with great aspirations. Most listeners will expect that he fulfilled his wish to write “stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, wail, howl in pain, desperation, and anger!" through novels or short stories. Instead, the surprise is that “He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.” Tags and toppers are additional punchlines that build upon your first punchline. You can use tags and toppers as a way to get extra laughs without writing a new joke or needing to set up any material. For example, you could add a topper to the short story by saying “In fact, he's the one screaming, crying, wailing, and howling in pain the most.” Before you tell your joke to friends or any audience, practice delivering it. You'll need to find the joke funny for your audience to feel the same! If you don't find the joke funny or somehow off, revise it until it works for you.
A:
Consider your joke structure. Write the set up and punchline. Heighten the joke's surprise factor. Add tags or toppers. Practice your joke.