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Pay attention if your wife starts to complain about you or your relationship. Watch for changes in her desire for sex. Notice if you share less emotional intimacy. Notice if your wife suddenly wants more privacy. Pay attention if she’s spending more time on her phone.

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Your wife may start pointing out your flaws or sharing concerns about your relationship. This may be because she’s genuinely unhappy, or she could be trying to look for a reason to justify her affair. Either way, it’s important for you to take notice and talk to her about it. Ask her what’s bothering her and discuss ways you can improve your relationship going forward. For example, your wife might say things like, “I’m sick and tired of coming home to a dump,” “You never listen to me,” or “We never have fun together anymore.” Ask her follow up questions like, “How can we work together to keep things clean?” “What can I do to show you I’m listening?” or “How does date night this Saturday sound?” This way you can address her concerns to hopefully improve your relationship. Your wife may desire more sex, less sex, or different sex. Consider if she starts offering you sex more often but doesn’t seem to be engaging with you. Similarly, notice if the heat suddenly leaves your relationship and she starts turning down sex. Additionally, pay attention to a sudden interest in role playing or sex games.  Your wife may want more sex if she feels bad about cheating or is having an emotional affair that leaves her wanting sexual fulfillment. She may want less sex if a new lover is meeting her needs. Your wife may want different sex if she’s wanting to pretend she’s with a new person. Your wife may stop sharing the details of her life with you, which is a sign that something is wrong. If she’s not coming to talk to you about her daily activities, her problems, her emotions, or things she’s excited about, then she may be sharing these things with someone else. Talk to her to find out what’s going on. For example, let’s say your wife seems to be shutting you out. Go to her and say, “Hey, I’ve noticed you’ve been really quiet lately. I’d really like to talk to you about how you’ve been feeling.” If your wife is having an affair, she’ll need to keep secrets from you. This requires her to keep her phone, bag, computer, and bills away from you. If she’s suddenly hiding things from you or getting defensive when you ask questions, then she could be hiding an affair. For example, you might notice that all of her electronic devices have new passwords. Additionally, she may start hiding her credit card or phone bills, and she may even get a new, secret credit card. She could be calling or texting a new partner. Notice if she seems to be texting someone more often, especially if she won’t tell you who it is. Additionally, take note if she often leaves the room when taking a call.  Watch her reaction to calls and texts. For instance, if she smiles really big or gets really excited, she may be texting a new partner. If you share a phone plan, review your bill to see if anything looks off. For instance, she might be calling or texting the same person daily.