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Commit to treatment. Interact in small groups. Listen to others. Establish boundaries with your friends. Give your friend space.

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One way you can pursue and maintain friendships is to commit to your treatment. When you take your medication and make the lifestyle changes as your doctor instructed, you should be able to manage your bipolar depression well. Skipping your medication or ignoring your treatment can cause unstable moods, which can hurt your friendships. Following your doctor’s prescribed treatment helps you maintain your quality of life and enables you to have positive relationships with others. Make sure to talk to you doctor first if you are considering going off of your medication(s). Sometimes, large groups can be overwhelming and cause your moods to become unstable. This may especially be true if you are with a bunch of people you don’t know. To help with this, interact in small groups.  Meet with a few friends at a time, or choose to go to places with smaller amounts of people, like coffee shops or movie theaters. You can find people who share your interests on sites like Meetup.com. When you are meeting people for the first time, or when you are talking to people you’ve known for a while, you should listen to the other person more than you talk. Bipolar disorder can sometimes make your focus only on yourself, so try to put the focus on the other person. For example, you can ask questions, such as, “Why did you choose to be a teacher” or “How did you get into knitting?” Due to your bipolar disorder, you may find yourself reacting certain ways due to your mood disorder. You may get angry and yell at your friend, you may try to push them away, or you may just stop calling them. You should set boundaries for your friendship so that both of you can be fulfilled by the friendship.  For example, you may tell your friend, “If I cancel on you, try to reach out to me during the next week. I will meet you halfway by answering the phone or returning your call within a few days. If I do not return your call, I realize that is my fault and not yours. If I continue to ignore you, I understand that you may not want to be friends with.” If you have mood swings, you may tell your friends, “I understand that my mental illness is no reason to take it out on you. If I get angry, upset, or emotional, you should leave. We can try to talk a few days afterwards when my mood has balanced back out.” Whether you have just become friends with someone or have been friends with them for a long time, you should refrain from being needy and give them space. Your bipolar depression may make you feel abandoned or like you want to be around your friend all the time to believe they like you. Remember that your friend has a life and other friends. That doesn’t mean they don’t like you. Give them the space they deserve.  Avoid calling too many times or writing e-mails when you feel needy. Things you say or do may be your bipolar and not you. Remind yourself that your friends like you, but that doesn’t mean they have to be around you all the time.