Q: When you’re in the heat of the fight or the stinging aftermath of a disagreement, it’s difficult to see things as they are. You may start to see the person as “all bad” and that every action he or she takes is somehow an act of defiance against you. However, with some distance, you can start to see the situation (and the person) more clearly. Take a couple steps back and allow yourself to gain some perspective. You may realize you are being critical or harsh, or not taking responsibility for what you contribute. Reflect more on yourself than the other person. Are there things within you that you’re unable to examine, such as guilt, shame, or fear?  How do your shadows or demons contribute to your relationship? Without jumping back into the fight, talk about what feelings, situations, and other factors led to the poor communication. Specifically, talk about your feelings. What were you feeling before the fight? What about during the fight? Ask these questions to this person and discuss your feelings clearly and openly.  You may have felt tired, lonely, hungry, or overwhelmed before the fight. Perhaps you were feeling stressed from work or school and carried the stress home with you. During the fight, you may have felt ignored, defensive, criticized, misunderstood, fearful, overwhelmed, ashamed, or unloved. Together with the person, ask what went missing in the fight. Was there a misunderstanding? Misperception? Poor communication? How did a discussion turn into a fight, or how did it stay a fight? Identify what set things off course. Think about how to communicate more clearly in the future, or not to jump to conclusions so quickly. What can you learn from the misdirection of this fight? Take a moment away from the specific subject of the fight and focus on validating each other’s feelings. Listen intently when the person speaks. Avoid interrupting or jumping in with your opinion or perspective and instead, allow the person to complete each thought. Lower your defenses and open your heart. Talk about each of your perspectives of the situation, keeping in mind that there is no “wrong” perspective. For instance, the fight may have been about finances, but this person may have been triggered by a fear of not having enough money and lashed out. Instead of fighting about money, acknowledge your partner’s fear and validate those feelings. Take ownership for what you contributed to the fight. Admit that you accused your partner, said something mean, or spoke before having all of the information. Admit if you’ve been emotionally closed off, running on empty, taking your stress out on this person, or taking the person for granted. Take responsibility for your words and actions without blaming. Say, “I know I contributed heavily to this fight. I’ve been working overtime at work which has caused me a lot of stress, and I’ve been taking out this stress on you. I haven’t slept well in weeks, so I feel overly sensitive and irritable, and these feelings definitely contributed to the fight.” Forgiveness is about freeing yourself and letting go of any resentments or hard feelings. When you hold onto resentment, it can have physical and emotional impacts that negatively impact your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or pretending that the situation didn’t happen, it just means you’re willing to let it go and move on.
A: Take some distance. Talk about the feelings involved. Identify the missing pieces. Validate each other. Accept responsibility. Forgive.

Q: These sheets absorb odors from fabric and they can do so for books, too. Again, the oils in dryer sheets can damage books, so be mindful when using this method. Cut a bunch of sheets into thirds, and put one between every 20 pages or so in the smelly book. Keep the book in a zipper bag a few days, then the musty smell should be gone. Try the following: This method is good for preventing the musty smell of books as well––just put a piece of a fabric softener sheet in every fifth book, or so, on your bookshelf. Place it inside a book. Use 2-3 pieces, depending on the size of the book. Then, place the book inside a resealable plastic bag. Let it sit in a dry spot for a week or two.  Check to see if the fresh odor has been transferred to the book. Continue until the book smells better. Add drops of an essential oil like lavender, eucalyptus, or tea-tree oil to cotton balls to a sealable plastic bag. Add the book to the plastic bag and seal. Remove your book after a few days. Due to the risk of oil spots, only do this with less valuable books that you want to read, such as textbooks.
A: Use fabric softener sheets. Cut a small square of fresh, fragrant drawer liner. Use strong essential oils.

Q: In order to understand the scoring system, you will need to know the value of the cards. The values don’t change throughout the game. Playing the cards in a “meld” during your turn nets you points, but holding onto the cards at the end of the round costs you points.  Jokers are worth 50 points. Aces and deuces are worth 20 points. Any card from an 8 to a King is worth 10 points. Cards ranked from 4 to 7 are worth only 5 points. Black 3s are also worth 5 points if you are able to use them. Red 3s are different from the other cards and are kept separate on the table. Each red 3 is worth 100 points. As soon as you get one, lay it face up in front of you. Collect as many of the red 3s as you can for bigger bonuses.  If you get all of the red 3s during a round, they are worth 200 points each. There are 4 of them in total, adding up to 800 points. It is rare, but it will put you way ahead of the competition. Failing to play a red 3 by the end of a round nets you a 500 point penalty, so be careful! That gives your partner a chance to pick up the discard pile on his turn. Black 3s also have some additional scoring quirks for you to be aware of. Black 3s can only be melded for points when they are the last cards in your hand. For that reason, they tend to be more useful for throwing off your opponents than scoring points. Think of these cards as replacements for ones you’re missing in your hand. When you score points by matching at least 3 cards of the same rank, use a wildcard to replace another missing card. These cards also allow you to freeze the discard pile to prevent your opponent from taking it. If you do this, turn the card sideways on the discard pile to indicate it is frozen.  For example, if you have 2 jacks, you could complete a meld by playing a 2 with it. Place the set of cards face up in front of you. You need to have 2 natural, matching cards to begin a meld. You can't start a meld with 2 wildcards, but you can use up to 3 of them to finish a meld. Normally, you freeze the discard pile with a wildcard when you are desperate. When the pile is frozen this way, nobody can take the discard pile until someone uses the top card to make a natural meld. There are a few different types of melds to keep in mind as you play. Each meld must have at least 2 natural cards in order to be valid. You can add wildcards to the meld in order to score more points and make game-changing moves like completing a 7-card canasta.  A meld of 7 cards is a canasta. A natural canasta, or one with no wildcards, is worth 500 bonus points. A dirty or mixed canasta, which has at least 1 wildcard, is worth 300 bonus points. The goal of the game is to make as many canastas as you can before the game ends. In fact, most rules force you to make at least 1 before you are able to stop playing a round.
A: Memorize the point value of all the scoring cards in the game. Use red 3s as a bonus card to score additional points. Play black 3s to block the next player in turn from taking the discard pile. Use jokers and 2s as wildcards to score or freeze. Make different melds to score points during the game.

Q: Stir together well. This method will result in about 3 average bottles.
A:
Peel the lemons. Put the peel into a bowl with the pips and lemon juice. Add the sugar and pour over the boiling water. Leave to infuse as it cools. Strain the mixture once cool and add the tartaric acid. Pour into bottles.