Grip a pencil, marble or any other small object with your toes and repeatedly hold it for six seconds before setting it down.  This is an easy exercise to do when watching television, reading or working because it does not require much attention. Take 20 marbles and see if you can drop them into a bowl one at a time for an added workout. Place the towel at your feet and slowly curl it towards you by only using your toes. Repeat this five times for both feet. If you would like to increase the resistance of the towel add some weight to the end of it. Find some rocks (make sure they are not sharp or jagged) that you can walk on comfortably. Your feet will grip the rocks naturally and the changing surface of the rocks will work out the nerves in the feet that actually connect to the lower back, strengthening both. Sand has a lot of give when you walk through it. Doing so barefoot is a great way to flex your toes, as you’ll need them to help grip into the sand as you push forward. Take your shoes off when you’re next at the beach. Just be careful of glass and other debris. Try climbing a sand dune barefoot for even more intensity, if there are any in your area or at your local beach.

Summary: Lift objects with the toes. Grip a towel with your toes. Walk on rocks. Walk barefoot through sand.


Don’t use a bronzer that is more than one skin tone darker than your own. Check carefully when buying it at the store and test out a few on your face to see which color will work best for you. Avoid bronzers with orange tints -- these typically do not look good on pale skin. Go for bronzers that lean toward brown. Different products work well for oily, combination, and dry skins. Using testers, check at the store which products feel and spread best on your skin. Bronzers are supposed to add a healthy-looking shine to your skin, and can be very useful for making pale skin appear slightly darker. (They are not designed to make your skin look bronze, despite their name.) After getting some on the brush, tap off any excess before applying. Focus on your temples and cheekbones. Use only a little on your nose and chin, and blend a little on your neck.

Summary: Choose your bronzer or blush color. Select a bronzer that works for your skin type. Apply bronzer with a big brush.


A great way to change a habit is to replace it with something else. Smiling inappropriately is really just a habit, so you should be able to pick another behavior that you can do instead.  Choose something simple that others are unlikely to notice, such as biting down on your tongue, rubbing your fingers together, or wiggling your toes. It’s great if you can pick something that helps you deal with your feelings of discomfort. For example, if you smile when you feel under pressure, replacing the smile with silently taking three deep breaths can also help you calm down and relieve the pressure. Imagine that you’re in a scenario where you might smile inappropriately. Imagine who you would be with and what they would do or say. As you do this, practice your replacement behavior while not smiling.  If you feel comfortable, you can ask a friend or family member to role play with you and to pretend to be someone else so you can practice. Practice many times, until doing your replacement behavior instead of smiling becomes second nature. You may not be able to plan for this, since triggering situations tend to be unpredictable. However, you need to practice in real situations in order to fully develop your new habit.  If you still smile, and it’s not too embarrassing, you can say something like, “I’m sorry. I know it’s inappropriate that I just smiled. It’s something I’m working on. I’m not actually happy to hear the bad news.” Continue to practice, both at home and with other people. You can replay a real-life scenario by yourself later, if you want to practice responding differently than you did. Not all replacement behaviors will work for you. If the one you chose isn’t working, try a new one. Practice it at home and in real scenarios, too. A behavior may also involve saying affirmations or mantras to yourself. For example, you may need to tap your fingers together while also thinking to yourself, “I am sorry to hear what this person is going through. It’s difficult for them.”

Summary: Choose a replacement behavior. Practice replacing a smile with the new behavior by yourself. Try the replacement behavior in a real scenario. Choose a different behavior if you need to.


This can be time before you will see your mother-in-law, or even during a family event. Take some time to be by yourself and reflect on how the relationship feels in the moment.  At a difficult family gathering, you can excuse yourself for a short walk around the block, or to make a phone call to a trusted friend. Before you see your mother-in-law, spend some time by yourself. You can use this time to reflect and relax so that you’ll have an easier time when you do see your mother-in-law. You may need to vent to a friend after spending time with your mother-in-law. Have someone on hand whom you can call if you need to. This step can seem drastic, but if your mother-in-law is truly abusive, moving may be the only viable option. Many couples do move based on proximity to in-laws. Living farther away can prevent meddling and unwanted visits.  If your mother-in-law’s abuse affects your children, moving away can help assure their safety from her. You can choose whether you and your spouse will be honest about the reason for moving or not. Sometimes, a spouse isn’t willing or able to admit that their mother is abusive. This can cause a rift between partners, and sometimes causes the relationship to end.  If your spouse can’t admit that their mother is abusive, offer to see a couple’s therapist together before deciding to end the marriage. Leaving a marriage is a big decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly. However, you should never tolerate abuse in order to preserve a marriage. If your mother-in-law has caused trauma for you or your children, you may want to see a therapist even after your mother-in-law is out of your life. Abuse can take years to recover from, even when the abuser is no longer a threat.  Even if your spouse doesn't see the abuse, you may still need to deal with its effects on you. Children can be affected by abuse even if they are not consciously aware of it. Make sure they have someone safe to talk to if they've been exposed to abusive behavior.
Summary: Take time for yourself. Move to be farther away from her. Leave the relationship if necessary. Seek therapy for recovery if you need to.