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If you are married or living together, there may be some extra hoops you need to jump through in order to separate from this person. Consider if any of these situations apply to you, and find out more about the next steps. In some situations, you may wish to consult an attorney.  If you are married, you will need to file for divorce. If you have children with this person, you will need to agree on a custody arrangement. If you own a house or condo together, you may decide to sell it. If you are renting an apartment together, you may need to break your lease. If you are living together, you will need to find another place to live. Look for an apartment to rent, or see if you can stay with friends or family for a while until you can figure out your living situation.  Pack up your belongings. Have family or friends help you move, or hire movers. Divide up any shared property. You may have lost mutual friends following your breakup. If you are divorcing, you may even be losing people you considered family. You may find yourself lacking in people you can trust to help you in a wide variety of ways, so you will want to make some new connections to help fill your support network gaps.  Think of the people you are still in touch with post-breakup and the roles they play in your life. Does your old roommate still make you laugh? They can be someone you can call on a bad day. Is your new neighbor a handyman? They might be someone who can help you figure out what kind of repairs you need to do in your new place. Think of all the roles your ex filled, and figure out if there is someone in your life who can replace them. Your ex may have been your emotional support, your friend, your lover, your person to go to the movies with, or your exercise buddy. You may find a new movie buddy in your coworker, or you may decide to take a fitness class to be able to work out with other people. Get creative to connect with others! Understand that it takes time to make new friends and find people who can help you out. Be patient with yourself and the process. Learn to identify yourself separately from others, especially your ex. Recalling and embracing your own unique identity is a crucial part of moving on with your life, especially if you’d been with your ex for a long time. Avoiding this process could cause you to lose your sense of self or feel uncomfortable going after goals that differ from those of your ex, or a new partner, friend, or family member. This could lead to depression or other emotional distress down the line. Give yourself time to remember who you are and fully return to your individual identity. While grieving is healthy and normal after a breakup, sometimes you need to distract yourself and pull yourself out of your sadness. Keep busy with new activities to help encourage a new chapter in your life.  Take a class. Train for an athletic event, like a triathlon or obstacle race.  Volunteer for an organization you support. Do all the things you were never able to do with your ex. Call on your friends and family, and make some new friends. Enjoy the beginning of this new chapter in your life!  If you are struggling to come up with some ideas, make a list of things your ex never liked to do with you, then go do those things. They may be something as small as going to get ice cream, because your ex was lactose intolerant. Schedule dates with your friends and family. Take the initiative to plan fun activities with others. When the pain of your separation has passed, take some time to reflect on the positives of your relationship. What lessons did your ex help you learn? What did you appreciate about this relationship? You might wish to spend some time journaling about this, or spend some time alone with your thoughts.
Research any legal steps you may need to take. Look for another place to live. Build a new support network. Embrace yourself as an individual. Stay busy. Have some fun. Get some perspective.