Summarize the following:
A lock has three main components.  The shackle is the U-shaped piece which attaches it to an object.  The dial is the portion with numbers that turns.  The body is the rest of the lock. If you hold the lock with the shackle on top and the dial facing you, typically the locking mechanism is on the left side of the shackle. To find a lock combination you will need to pull up gently on the shackle.  Too much pressure will make it impossible to turn the dial.  Too little and the dial will spin freely.  You should exert gentle pressure.  This may take some practice. Pull up gently on the shackle and hold it in place. Turn the dial clockwise listening carefully until you hear the lock click.  Start with a good deal of pressure and gently let up as you spin it around, until you meet resistance in only one place. If the dial catches every few numbers, you are pulling too hard.  If it never catches at all, you are not pulling enough.  It should catch in only one place, making a click. If the click happens when the dial is between two numbers, round up to the higher number. Add 5 to that number and write it down.  This is the first number in the combination. It may be helpful to spin the dial a few times before doing this to reset the lock. Maintaining gentle pressure on the shackle, turn the dial slowly.  You should go all the way around the mechanism once before reaching the second number.  The lock will bump and catch as you turn. Eventually the lock hit a point where it will be very difficult to turn.  This stopping point is the second number.  Note it on the same piece of paper. One method of finding the third number is to simply test every possible combination.  Set your first two numbers as if you were ready to unlock.  Then turn the dial clockwise very slowly, testing each possible combination.  At this point there should be only forty possible combinations. You do not have to reset the first two numbers for each combination.  Simply turn one number then tug.  Repeat the process until the lock opens. A different method for finding the third number is to test the catch.  Spin the dial clockwise a few times to reset the lock and set it at 0.  Apply upwards pressure on the shackle and turn the dial clockwise.  The lock will catch several times, allowing for slight movement back and forth between two numbers. Write down the number in the middle.  For instance, if the lock catches between 33 and 35, write down 34 on a separate piece of paper.  This is not necessarily the final number. The lock will also catch partway between numbers. For example, the range might be between 27.5 and 29.5.  If the middle number is not a whole number, such as 28.5, do not write it down.  Lock combinations are always whole numbers. Proceed all the way around the dial, writing down all the whole numbers where it catches.  You should have four or five numbers written down. Most of the numbers will fit a pattern, for instance all ending in 5.  The one number that does not fit the pattern is the final number in your combination.

summary: Familiarize yourself with the lock. Practice pressure. Find the first number. Set the first number of the combination as your starting point. Turn the dial counterclockwise to find the second number. Try combinations. Test for the third number.


Summarize the following:
Some family members may not even realize they're still treating you like a child. It's hard for older adults in your family to let go of the thought of you being "little girl" or "little boy," even if you're well into adulthood. Therefore, you need to broach the topic with them and help them understand what you're feeling.  Start with your feelings. That is, use an "I" statement to describe how you're feeling instead of a "you" statement that puts the blame on them. Blaming someone will put them on the defense. For instance, don't say, " You always treat me like a little kid." Instead, say "I feel upset when you still treat me like a child. I've grown up." Be specific by talking about particular statements or behaviors that bother you. For example, you could say, "I love that you help with the kids, but I don't like when you contradict the rules that I've made." You could also say, "I respect your rules when I'm in your house, but I don't like being asked where I am every second of every day." Tell them what you expect. For instance, you could say, "I would really appreciate if you would respect the rules I've set for my kids." or "I would appreciate it if you would treat me like any other adult who stays in your home." If you're telling your mom a story, tell her what you expect from her upfront. For instance, if you're just telling her the story to give her information and you don't really want advice, let her know that. You could say, "Mom, I need to tell you something, but I want you to promise me that you won't offer your judgment at the end. I feel like you need to know this information, but I don't want advice on my choices." That is, often in communication, people are trying to maintain control. It's a power struggle. Often, this type of communication pops up between a parent and an adult child, or even another type of relationship, such as an aunt and niece or nephew. The "adult" still wants to control the adult child, even if that person doesn't realize it. If you're the adult child, you may want to struggle to "win" in this situation. However, often letting go of the power struggle can lead to a healthier relationship.  This type of power struggle can make people defensive. You probably feel defensive when another adult in your family, whether it be a parent, aunt, guardian, or grandparent, does it to you. However, by truly listening and letting go of the power struggle, you can cut through some of that defensiveness and both parties can feel more heard and valued. Sometimes, parents and other family members have trouble respecting boundaries because they still see you as a little kid they have a right to rule over. In that case, you need to politely but firmly set boundaries with them because you have your own life now.  For instance, say your parents tend to just show up at your house unannounced. You could say, "We love having you here, but we'd appreciate it if you gave us some advanced notice. Sometimes, we have our family time planned, and we need that time to strengthen and grow together." Another way you could address an issue is to say, "I understand that you are concerned about when we're having children. However, it may be some time before we decide to do so. I will definitely let you know when we're thinking about it. Until then, I would appreciate it if you stop asking about it."
summary: Discuss the issue. Be upfront about what you want. Focus on the relationship. Set boundaries.