Run a fine-toothed beard comb or small hairbrush with flexible bristles through your facial hair from cheek to chin. Stroke the hair outward, away from your face, so that it all stands up in one direction. This will give you a better sense of how long your beard actually is and also make it easier to prune without making costly mistakes.  Daily combing is necessary to identify areas that need trimming, prevent tangles, and redistribute natural oils. Keeping your beard brushed out is also a useful way to create the appearance of added volume, since it gets the hairs fluffed up nicely. Glide the head of the trimmer over your face slowly, using light pressure. If your goal is to thin out a bushy beard, use upward strokes, so that the blades of the trimmer cut square across the hairs. If you'd rather preserve more of the bulk you've been so committed to growing, move the trimmer downward in the same direction that the hair lays naturally.  Set the guard to about a 3 initially (which is usually somewhere around 9mm) and switch to a lower setting if you want to go shorter. That way, you can avoid accidentally shaving too much at once.  Beard trimmers offer a more customizable trimming experience because of their ability to cut hair to a consistent length with every pass, unlike scissors, which force you hack away at tufts piece by piece. Start by buzzing both cheeks until you strike the desired balance between volume and tidiness. Once the sides look good, move the trimmer inward and go over your chin and mustache area. Double check that both sections are equally full, and that both halves of your face match. Most men's facial hair tends to be thicker around the goatee, so starting with the cheeks helps ensure that your beard comes out even without having to go shorter on the sides than you'd like. Sideburns are tricky, since they can be treated as either an extension of your beard or your head hair. Assuming that your head hair and facial hair are approximately the same length, you can let what's up top flow seamlessly into what's underneath. If one is significantly longer than the other, try fading your sideburns using increasingly smaller guards so that the difference isn't too jarring.  For extremely short hairstyles like buzz cuts and shiny bald domes, blend your sideburns until they disappear around the top of your ear.  Longer locks are a little simpler. Just keep your sideburns clean and neat, then leave everything above and below your ears as shaggy as you please.
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One-sentence summary -- Comb out your beard. Use a beard trimmer to control how much you take off. Work from the outside in. Create transition with your sideburns.


Whether it’s just sex or a long-term relationship, knowing what you want will help you figure out your best course of action to get it. It’s also important to be honest with the woman about what you want — don’t act like you want a relationship if all you want is sex. Women enjoy sex too; she might be fine with some no-strings-attached fun.  Some questions to consider: Is it sexual — a checkmark on your bucket list? Or, are you interested in something long-term, with someone who is more mature than your previous partners? Perhaps you have someone specific in mind already, and are wondering how you can  get her to notice you. If you just want sex with an older woman, for example, your best bet might be dating sites geared specifically toward older women seeking younger men, and vice versa. There are even cruises devoted to connecting older women with younger men.  Dating sites are also a good option if you are seeking a longer-term relationship with an older woman. Again, just be clear about your intentions from the beginning. Women in and over the age of 40 have lives too; this means that you can meet them literally anywhere — from the gym to a boating club, to an acting class, or even in your local grocery store. Spaces are shared interest are great for meeting people in general, no matter your age. Sure, some older women might fit the traditional “cougar” stereotype, but just as many — if not more — will not. As with all people, desires and behaviour differ depending on the individual. When approaching an older woman for romantic purposes, you’ll do well to forget the “cougar” stereotype and simply treat her with the same respect and consideration that you would treat anyone else.  Some websites would have you believe that there are specific types of cougar: the moneyed cougar (or sugar mama), the angry cougar, the sweet cougar; alpha versus beta cougars.  While there is often some truth in stereotypes, you’re better off getting to know the individual woman rather than trying to lock her into some predefined, narrow-minded, and generally unflattering idea of how a mature woman behaves. . If you’re interested in a mature woman, let her know. How you show you’re interested will vary depending on your own situation — including where you meet the woman and how well you already know her.  If you meet a woman at the bar, you might show your interest by smiling at her and seeing if she smiles back. Wait to see if she keeps looking back at you; if she does, this might be a sign that she’s interested. You could then approach her and ask to buy her a drink. If you are interested in a woman who is in the same running club as you, your tactic would be different. You might gauge her interest by starting a conversation with her after the run — it doesn’t have to be anything too serious; small talk about the weather and the run will do to begin with. If you approach a mature woman and she rejects you, don’t be a jerk about it. It’s okay to be disappointed and to even express your disappointment in a polite or witty manner; it’s not okay to call her names or threaten her.  Do: “I’m devastated, but if you change your mind, I’ll be over there!” Don’t: “Are you kidding me? You’re lucky to have a young guy like me show interest in you!” ” If you are trying to attract an older woman, don’t get stuck on the idea that you need to act like a man their age might act. Many women in their 40s admit to seeking younger men because they are more open-minded, adventurous, and romantic.  When going out on  dates, be adventurous and willing to try new things. Share your interests with her, and learn about her interests too. As with any relationship, take pleasure in learning and growing together. You’ll also benefit from being adventurous and open-minded in the bedroom. Chances are, she’ll be clear about what she likes, so it’s important that you’re willing to listen and possibly follow instructions. If a mature woman says that her last relationship ended because her partner was an unromantic, stubborn workaholic, and you know that you’re approaching a critical time in your career where you will need to prioritize work over everything else, it might not be the best time to get into a relationship with this woman. Most older women (and men) have had enough relationships to know what works and what doesn’t; they’re not interested in playing games. Cancelling plans at the last minute and “forgetting” to call for days to weeks might have been tolerated by younger women, but more mature women will likely not put up with this behaviour.
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One-sentence summary --
Know what you want, and be honest about it. Forget the stereotype. Show her you’re interested Be prepared for rejection, and take it gracefully. Be “young. Be honest about who you are. Be reliable and uncomplicated.