Q: There are a few wax options for making candles, and beeswax, soy, and paraffin are among the most popular. Beeswax candles are a natural air purifier, but the wax has a high melting point and must be mixed half and half with an oil, such as palm, to lower the melting point.  Soy is a great vegetable wax option for candles and is readily available online or at craft stores. Paraffin wax is a traditional choice for candles, but paraffin is a petroleum product and can contribute to poor air quality. Another option is using leftover wax from other candles. Store the wax from candles you burn until you have enough to make a new candle. Two cups (227.5grams) of wax will yield an eight-ounce candle. Along with your wax, you will also need a wick, jar, double boiler, and a clean, dry towel. For a scented or colored candle, you’ll also need dye and fragrance.  Be sure to buy lead-free wicks. If your wick isn’t attached to a metal base (called a tab or sustainer), be sure to purchase one separately. For the jar, you can use a recycled candle jar, mason jar, cleaned out glass jar from the kitchen (like a salsa jar),  or even an old metal tin. You’ll also need something to stir the wax and secure the wick tab in place, such as a spoon, chopstick, or skewer. You can also use a clothespin or pencil to secure the wick in place while the candle sets. For scented candles, you can either use your favorite essential oils or fragrance oil. For colored candles, you can purchase dye chips, blocks, or liquid. Scents and dyes can be found at most craft stores or candle suppliers. Fill the bottom of the double boiler with about an inch (2.5 cm) of water. Place the top portion of the double boiler in position and put in your wax. Heat it over medium heat.  If your wax came in a large block, cut it into smaller chunks before melting it. Always use the double boiler method to melt wax, and never try to melt the wax faster at a higher temperature. Wax has a low flash point and can catch fire.  If you don’t have a double boiler, you can place a large, heat-safe glass bowl on top of a metal saucepan and use it as the top portion of the double boiler. Dip the base of the wick into the wax, pull it out, and then position the wick base in the bottom center of your candle jar. Use a spoon handle, chopstick, or skewer to press it down until the wax dries, holding the wick in place. Lay a clothespin, chopstick, pencil, or skewer across the rim of the candle jar. If you’re using a clothespin, simply clamp the wick into place so it is straight and centered. If you’re using a chopstick, wrap the excess wick around the chopstick to keep it in place, straight, and centered. Pour the wax into the jar, making sure you don’t pour wax all over the top of the wick. Fill the jar, leaving about one-quarter inch of space between the top of the wax and rim of the jar (this may not be necessary if you don’t have that much wax). Wrap the jar with the clean towel. This will prevent the wax from cooling too quickly, and prevent the candle from shrinking and cracking. Let the candle set for about 24 hours. This will give the wax time to fully dry, and give the dye and fragrance time to bind with the wax. Once your candle has cured, remove the towel, remove the clothespin, and trim the excess wick to one-half inch.
A: Choose a wax. Gather your supplies. Melt the wax. Secure the wick in place in the jar. Pour the candle. Let the candle cure.

Q: Most of us are unaware that we are unaware of others and their feelings. You can become more aware by stepping back from your behavior and observing yourself. Once you become aware of your behavior, you can begin to make changes. To become more aware, begin by asking yourself the following questions after spending time with a friend:  “What did I do make sure the conversation was not centered around me and my interests?” “What did I learn about my friend, her feelings, or her situation today?” Asking questions of others shows that you are engaged in actively participating with another’s perspective.  If talking to a friend or acquaintance, ask how she feels about the situation you are discussing. Ask how she accomplished a goal or completed a difficult task. People like to know that others care enough about them to find out how they handle situations in their lives. You may be surprised by how much people can open up with a few well-placed, open questions. In a work situation, you might try directly asking another person what she would do to complete a project. In this case, you should focus on listening to and caring about her suggestion, not pushing her to accept your own idea. People who are self-absorbed usually don't care about hurting other people’s feelings, in part because they aren’t aware of others’ feelings. If you’re working on overcoming self-absorption, try putting yourself in another’s shoes and apologizing if you have done something that may have hurt her. Make your apologies genuine.  It matters less what you say and more that you truly feel sorry and empathize with the other person’s feelings.  If you’re new to apologizing or practicing empathy, your apology may be awkward; that’s okay.  It will get easier as you have more experience, and the occasion for apology may lessen with time as well. Take care not to interject your own experience before others are finished talking about their experiences. Listen to what is said by others, and try to enjoy and grow from conversations, even if you do not get the opportunity to contribute. You should have paid attention so well that you could repeat it back to them and be able to remember key phrases. These habits will let people know that you've heard them and respect them. It also helps if you're flexible when listening. Don't commit to a firm stance before a conversation. Instead, let yourself be convinced by another person's ideas or point of view. Try to pay enough attention so you can summarize someone’s story and explain how she felt about the circumstance. Start thinking and caring about your friends even when you are not with them.  If someone you know is going through a challenging time, send her a message or do something nice for her to show that you’re thinking about her.  Remember what your friends said the last time you talked. Follow up with questions or comments about what you talked about. Try doing little things that show you care. For example, pick up the phone to see how the person might be feeling. This will show them that you care about what's troubling or interesting them. Don't just tell someone that you are supportive or care about her. Show her that you do through your actions. This includes listening to her, but also going out of your way to value her opinions. For example, you might ask for her opinion about a big purchase you're considering. Asking for her advice will make her feel valued. Take a break from thinking about yourself and do something for those who need your help. Consider volunteering at a local charity or food shelter. Practice doing things without expecting anything in return. This will develop your sense of empathy and concern for others. Make sure you're valuing your friendships for what they are and not what they'll get you. You need to stop using people or activities purely for your own gain. The line between self-love and self-absorption is not an easy one to define. It is important to love and acknowledge yourself while making sure that you are noticed and heard by others. Self-esteem prevents others from disrespecting you or hurting your feelings, but this doesn't mean that you can harm others to your benefit. Self-love is all about balance. If you have compassion for yourself as well as others, then you are not self-absorbed.
A:
Develop awareness. Start asking questions when you spend time with others. Apologize when you hurt someone. Be mindful when having a conversation. Take a genuine interest in others. Do something for others. Support good self-esteem, or self-love.