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It’s hard not getting what you want, and acknowledging that you’re receiving a different outcome than your desired one is one way to show compassion for yourself. Think about how you feel and why you might feel that way. If you’re sad or upset, don’t be afraid to acknowledge and express those feelings.  Say to yourself, “It’s hard not being able to change something to an outcome I want.” Discussing the situation with your friends can help you normalize your experience. It can be very helpful to hear that your feelings are normal and they would feel similarly, too. It is easy to get very upset with relationships do not go as hoped. But usually these are imperfections rather than "dealbreakers". A disagreement or argument typically is not as serious as abuse, for example.   Example: You had a falling out with a friend and you need someone to apologize to you to feel at peace. Perhaps it feels like that is the only way to experience peace, but does it have to have that outcome? Maybe you need to simply let go of the friendship and move on, as irritating as it is. You can experience peace even when you don’t get what you want.  Example:  Your friend dies in a car accident. Of course, there is no way around this loss. However, you accept in time that what has happened cannot be undone, and your friend's love, friendship, and lessons will always be with you even if he or she is not. You can move on from hurt feelings by choosing to do so. You don’t need anything from someone else to move on or let go. Try saying "I choose to forgive this person and move on with my life." You may not feel it or believe it at first, but that's okay. Feeling in control of outcomes and the environment is associated with an increased sense of well-being. Feeling out of control can be threatening. If you’re having a hard time letting go of something, think about what is actually in your control. If you cannot control a situation, control how you ‘’’respond’’’ to it. For example, you may not be able to change the fact that you did not get accepted to medical school. However, you can control how you react to it and how much it affects how you feel. For example, you may feel sad, upset, and not smart enough. Yet, does this define how intelligent or worthy you are? Choose to maintain your sense of self even when you don’t get what you want. While something may feel hugely impactful to you right now, ask yourself how it will affect your future. Will it ultimately matter in five years? Are there positive things that can happen, even if you didn’t get what you wanted? Even if you feel disappointed now and don’t know what to do, it doesn’t mean that other opportunities will not arrive for you that will benefit you.  Think about what other opportunities may be available for you. Maybe you didn’t get your dream job, but you may find a similar opportunity, or you may decide to pursue a different direction in your career. Consider, too, past disappointments. Did you eventually get over them? Did they impact your life irreparably, or were you able to move forward and let them go? This can help you gain perspective.
Show compassion to yourself. Consider what you actually need, rather than what you desire. Recognize what’s in and out of your control. Look at the big picture.