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Even parents who practice corporal punishment usually make a clear distinction between the occasional spanking and a deliberate, violent beating. It's never OK to beat a child. This is almost universally recognized as a form of abuse by parenting associations. In addition, clear links have been established between suffering beatings as a child and increased rates of mental illness as an adult. Additionally, certain forms of violence can cause permanent, even lethal damage to a growing child. For instance, shaking a young child in frustration or anger can give it brain damage or kill it. It's perfectly possible to be an abusive parent without even raising a finger towards your child. Neglect, isolation, and intimidation are all ways to damage your child's emotional growth. Though raising a child can be frustrating, these behaviors are never okay; not only are they cruel and unfair to the child, but they can also lead to serious problems, including self-harm, substance abuse, depression, and even suicide. Below is a brief list of behaviors that qualify as emotional abuse. For a complete list, consult anti-abuse resources like the American Humane Association:  Isolating the child from others from normal social interactions. Verbally assaulting the child with insults, threats, and ridicule. Terrorizing the child for failing to meet unreasonable expectations. Deliberately humiliating a child. Using fear and intimidation to control a child. Ignoring or neglecting the child's basic needs. Forcing the child to do something wrong or unhealthy. Refusing to show your child love, tenderness, and affection. Children are naturally curious; they learn by interacting with the world around them. Try to avoid punishing your child for misbehavior that's a result of honest curiosity. Punishing a child for doing something that they didn't even know was wrong may encourage them to be afraid of new experiences in the long run or even make the bad behavior more exciting. For example, it would be wrong to punish a child for asking their friends about sex, a better idea is to sit down with them, answer their questions, and explain why it's a bad idea to talk about sexually explicit things in public. Admonishing them without an explanation will probably just make them more curious. It's easy to go too far in your quest to discipline your child, but this is something you should always strive to avoid. Holding your child to unrealistic standards and assigning excessively strict punishments can affect their ability to live a happy, healthy life. Always remember that your goal as a parent is to help your child get to the point where they can basically parent themselves, not bully the child into living life exactly as you want them to. It's also important to note that overly harsh parenting techniques are often ineffective because they deprive the child of the chance to become self-disciplined. If a child is constantly reacting to the punishments and demands of an excessively strict parent, they never learns how to motivate themselves. On the other hand, it's equally easy (if not even easier) to go to far in the opposite direction. Refusing to follow through with punishments and letting your child walk all over you teaches them that they don't need to behave well or work hard to get what they want. Making a habit of caving to a fussy child or repeatedly rescuing them from unpleasantness can also ruin their ability to deal with negative emotions in a mature way. In a word, this creates a child who is spoiled.  If you struggle to be strict, ask your co-parent or an adult you trust to help you stay firm and accountable to your child's behavior plan. You may feel more comfortable enforcing the rules or punishments if you explain to your child the reasoning behind them and importance of follow through. Say, "I know you're upset that I won't go back to Granny's house to get your toy, but you should have put it back in your bag when I told you to. It's important that you listen to Mommy." Again, this sort of parenting actually does your child a disservice in the long run. Most parenting experts agree that raising a child with an overly permissive style can lead to an adult who has a hard time getting satisfaction from their life and having a positive self-image. Unfortunately, some behavioral issues are beyond the scope of normal parenting techniques and may require professional help. These problems can't (and shouldn't) be treated with normal punishment and discipline techniques. They may require medicinal solutions, counseling, or mentorship that an ordinary parent can't provide. Below is just a short list of problem behaviors that require the attention of a professional:  Crime (shoplifting, vandalism, violence, etc.) Substance abuse Other addictions (internet, sex, etc.) Mental/emotional illnesses (learning disorders, depression, etc.) Dangerous behavior (risk-seeking, street racing, etc.) Rage or violent outbursts
Don't ever beat a child. Don't be an emotional abuser. Don't punish a child's curiosity. Know the dangers of harsh, overly-strict parenting. Know the dangers of weak, permissive parenting. Get outside help for major behavioral issues.