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It’s possible that the caller is unaware that they are bothering you by calling you every day or multiple times a day. Tell them honestly that you would prefer they don’t call you so often. If this is someone you would like to continue to talk to, just not so frequently, be prepared to reassure the person that you still like them and would like to talk to them regularly. You could say, “Susie, I really value your friendship, but you’re calling me way too frequently. It’s not that I don’t enjoy talking to you. I just have a lot of other things going on and don’t have time to talk to you every day.” Depending on the frequency and timing of the calls, you may be experiencing an increase in stress, a loss of focus, or even poor sleeping patterns. All of these things can have a negative impact on your life. Express this to the caller without judgement or blame. They may be unaware of the impact their constant calling is having on you and hearing your perspective can help clear things up. Establish healthy boundaries with clear communication. Tell the caller that you care about them and enjoy talking to them, but too many frequent calls cut into other demands on your schedule, such as time at work and with family and other friends. Be clear about how many calls per day or week you find acceptable and what times should be off-limit.   You may decide, for example, that you cannot answer calls during your work shift or after your bedtime. Tell the caller, “If you call me while I’m at work, between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m., I will not be able to answer the phone. I go to bed at 10 p.m., so please do not call me past that time unless it’s a life-or-death emergency.” Stick to the boundaries that you set. If you constantly make exceptions to the rules you’ve set, the caller will quickly learn that the boundaries are meaningless and will not respect your rules. Only deviate from your set boundaries in cases of emergency, such as when the person’s car breaks down and they are stranded on the highway or if there is a medical emergency with them or someone they are close to. If the person continues to call for non-emergency situations, simply answer the phone and promptly say, “I’m at work right now and can’t talk on the phone. I will call you back once I get home around 6 p.m.” and then hang up. Don’t tell someone you will call them back if you have no intention of calling them back. This will only create heightened anticipation and anxiety at not hearing from you. Such anxiety may actually increase the amount that the person calls. Schedule a regular time that works best for both of you to have a check-in call. This may be once a week or multiple times a week depending on what works best for your situation. Even though this may seem too formal, having a set schedule can relieve a lot of anxiety for someone who is clingy, insecure, or worried about you. Furthermore, it will let the person know that you are willing to make time for them because you value your relationship with them, while also making it clear that there is a limit to the amount of time you can give them.
Ask the caller to stop calling you so frequently. Tell the caller how you are being affected by their frequent calling. Set boundaries for calls. Stick to your boundaries. Set a schedule.