Article: As satisfying as you think it might be to call your husband the names he might call you, don’t do it. It won’t help your relationship to descend to his level. If he is willing to seek help and therapy, then there’s hope. If he is unwilling to work on changing his abusive attitude, it’s best to work on leaving the relationship, if only for a brief time until you can agree on some kind of therapy program. As satisfying as it might be to make a hard and fast deadline — if you call me names again, I’m leaving forever — think about what’s realistic. Will you stay when he is working on changing his behavior? At what point will you give up and leave? Share your plan with your support network so they can help you if it becomes necessary to follow through with your exit plan. It’s usually impossible to fix an abusive relationship. Don’t keep threatening to leave then stay — go when he steps out of bounds you have discussed. Reach out to family and friends with information about how to contact you and that you are leaving.  Change your cell phone number and give it out only to trusted friends and family, asking them not to give it out. Delete any search history with research about your leaving on shared computers. If you are worried about retaliation and anger, leave a fake trail. Do internet searches for towns hours from where you plan to be. Write down phone numbers of motels in that town (where you won’t be). Go to a safe place that you have set up beforehand — shelter, the house of someone your husband doesn’t know, a hotel. Communicate with your husband through a note you leave at home and let him know you have left and the steps you will be taking (restraining order, divorce, etc.) Let him know a family member or friend he can contact to reach you, but warn him that he will not be able to talk to you directly.
What is a summary of what this article is about?
Don’t use the same tactics back. Realize that you aren’t going to be able to change him. Know when to leave. Leave when planned.