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You have the option of not giving a reason or excuse for saying no. Remember, it is your right to decline to do things, and you don't own anyone an explanation. You can simply respond, "no," but if you feel like adding more, you can still be respectful while keeping it simple.  You could say, “I'm sorry, that just won't work for me.” Another way to say no is simply, “No, I can't do that.” If someone asks if they can buy you a drink, feel free to just say, "No, thanks." If you say no immediately, it might seem like you didn't even consider the request. In order to be respectful, take a moment to think about your answer--even if you already know what it is going to be. Take a pause, and then kindly say no.  You could say, “Let me check my calendar. I believe I already have a commitment that weekend.” Try counting slowly to three before responding. This way, you'll seem to be considering the request. A respectful response is not one that sounds overly negative. When turning someone down, find a way to inject a positive attitude into your words. It also helps if you use a friendly tone of voice! For example, you could say, “Wow! A cookie exchange sounds like such a fun idea! I'm sorry that I won't be able to come. It sounds like I'll be missing a good time.” It's important not to sound rude. Don't say something like, “No, why would I want to do that?” Instead, be kind and gracious. Say things like, “That's so nice of you to think of me, but I'm really not interested in learning to snowshoe.” You can also say, “I'm afraid I can't dog sit for you. Your puppy is cute, but I don't think my cat would agree.” Make it clear that you genuinely appreciate being asked. If you have to turn someone down, express your thanks that they thought of you in the first place. You could say something like, “Thanks for considering me responsible enough to watch your kids. I'm sorry that I'm busy that evening.” You can also say, “I appreciate that you think I'd make a good team captain. However, I'm more comfortable not having a leadership role.” Saying no respectfully dictates that your be honest and direct. Do not give people false hope that you will be able to fulfill their request. If you can't help, say so.  Instead of, “Maybe I can try to make that work,” say, “I'm sorry, I have my own presentation to finish. I can't help with yours.” If someone is asking you on a date and you don't want to go, make that clear. You can say, "I'm sorry, but I just don't feel a connection. I'm going to have to turn down your offer." You can kindly turn down requests by including some friendly words. Try building the other person's confidence a bit. You can say, “You've been doing great managing your new team. I'm not available to help you run the meeting, but I know you'll be just fine on your own." Maybe one of your friends wants to take your relationship to the next level. Try saying, "I know you're an awesome person. That's why I value you as a friend, and I'd love for things to stay that way."
Keep your explanation simple. Think before you speak. Make a positive statement. Be gracious. Show gratitude. Give a clear answer. Offer encouragement.