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Negotiate conflicts carefully. Forgive each other. Acknowledge accomplishments. Exemplify consideration. Respect boundaries. Stand up for your partner.
You will fight with your partner. You will need to learn to resolve conflicts in a respectful manner in order to maintain a happy relationship. To do this, consider the following:  Listen to what your partner has to say. Emotion can sometimes make us talk rather than listen. It might be difficult, but try and listen to what your partner has to say before you jump into what you have to say. You will need to actively listen, that is, try and acknowledge what your partner has to say. Keeping quiet while your partner talks is not always the same as listening. Really think about what you have to say before you say it. Words have power and what you say may have a lasting outcome. A good trick is to rely on active listening to help structure your words. Try and repeat, exactly, what your partner says before your rebuttal. For example, “I hear that you are frustrated that I did not do the dishes. I’m very sorry, but I just had a tough day at the office and was exhausted by the time I got home.” Apologize, and mean it! Sometimes, in a fight, both of your feelings might be hurt. Acknowledge these feelings and try and make amends to your partner. This will help negotiate the argument. For example: “I know you were looking forward to going out with your friends this evening and I’m sorry our plans have changed. I really need your support right now while I’m dealing with this.” All couples have disagreements, but the quality of a relationship is always measured by how well the couple makes up after a fight. Avoid holding grudges after fights have died down. Holding onto emotions can fester into a new conflict. Verbally let go of these feelings with your partner with an apology such as a “sorry for picking a fight with you” or “I forgive you for your outburst last night. I love you.” What might be important to you may not be important to your partner (and vice versa). If your partner is excited about something, verbally acknowledge it. This will help your partner feel that you respect her self-worth.  For example, if your partner received a promotion, congratulate her on it with a nice dinner or just a “Great job, honey! I’m really proud of your hard work.” Being specific with your accolades is even better than general comments. Sometimes, what your partner views as an accomplishment may not seem like much to you. It’s important to be supportive. For example, if your partner is really excited about a high score on a video game, still acknowledge it. This will let your partner know that you value his hobbies or personal pursuits. As with acknowledging accomplishments, you also need to be considerate to your partner’s downfalls (not matter how large or how trivial). Follow the same guidelines with acknowledging accomplishments when being considerate.  For example: “I’m so sorry you didn’t get the promotion, honey. I know you’ve been working hard lately.” Or: “I’m so sorry your save file got erased on your video game. I know you spent a lot of time on it.” If you are unsure what your partner’s boundaries are, talk to your partner about them.  These boundaries can, contextually, be about anything. Your partner may have physical boundaries. Your partner may have boundaries about communication. Whatever the case, respect these boundaries and communicate with your partner about what these boundaries are. Use active listening skills to talk about boundaries. For example: “I hear that you are uncomfortable with me touching you there. Do you want to talk about it?” You should protect your partner, and your partner should protect you. This may be from external forces such as negativity in the workplace, or perhaps internal dissonance with anxiety or depression. Let your partner know that you are her biggest advocate. Consider:  ”I’m sorry that you are struggling with this right now. I am here to help you.” ”What your boss did was wrong. I cannot believe you had to go through that!” ”I do not appreciate what you said about my wife. I really think what you said was quite rude and I would really appreciate an apology.”